Genma Saotome's Time and Space Mis-Adventures 02: Hercules 12
by The Altered Destinies
Summary: After Genma has achieved his aim of seeing young Conan crowned and on a throne with Tarania at his side, he feels his work is done, so he asks the sage, Epimetrius, to find a way of sending him back to his own era. Unfortunately for Genma he has an encounter along the way with a certain Greek Lord of Olympus who has this "little problem...
1. Chapter 1

The Genma Files:

Hercules One-Half

By Jim Robert Bader

(Characters and situations created by Rumiko Takahashi;  
With creative suggestions supplied by Homer)

It is a known fact that Gods are never so dangerous as when they are bored. Part of the problem with Immortality was that it tended to make one look forward to any sort of novelty to break up the dull routine of daily existence, and so it happened that Zeus, King of the Gods of Olympus, chanced to gaze out into the firmament on one dark night and spied a passing traveler moving through the Timestream towards the future.

Now this was of interest to him on more than one level, not least of which was the fact that timetravel was a tricky enough art for Gods, even moreso with Mortals. The problem was not so much traveling through time itself as knowing where to travel to arrive at a future where things might be as one desired. The possibilities and probabilities were far too complex to sift through at random, you needed a fixed, well-defined goal to land upon or you could wind up anywhere, yet this Timetraveler had a particular direction. Zeus decided to reach out and interrupt his journey in order to find out more about the matter.

His victim-uh, special guest-was more than a little flustered to see where he had arrived, wondering to himself what era of Japanese history he could have arrived in that boasted such curious architecture. Marble columns were all well and good, but give him the practicality of a wooden pagoda house to the multi-colored stonework that confronted him with garish colors at impossible right angles. He wondered, briefly, if Epimetrius's spell might have gone awry. The Hyborean Arch Wizard had cautioned him that timetravel could be tricky, and with twelve thousand years of history to cover there were bound to be a few more than a few twists and perils that might impede his return to his own era.

"Greetings, Mortal," a voice addressed him from what sounded like a very deep-  
chested source, "Who are you and what brings you to the court of King Zeus of Olympus?"

Saotome Genma turned very slowly, afraid of what he would see before his terrified eyes fell upon the figure of a very LARGE individual who was draped in a loose-fitting toga. The red-bearded giant was inclined upon a stone chair but must easily have topped out at twenty meters height, at the very least. The sight of him nearly made Genma swallow his own Adam's apple, and he silently prayed to the Gods of the world that he had left that this fellow didn't have a taste for panda meat...or human for that matter!

"Interesting," the red-bearded giant inclined his head, "You just petitioned Crom, who hasn't been actively worshipped in countless generations...but who is this Amaterasu Omikami that you pray to? I'd afraid I haven't had the honor as yet of meeting the lady."

Genma's own eyes got very large, for the expression on the giant's face denoted a kind of lust for all things female that reminded him most uncomfortably of a certain ancient master of his past acquaintance. The fact that the giant had quite obviously read his mind was of secondary consideration as that simply meant that Genma would not be able to lie convincingly. He wasn't sure how much of the truth would be believed, but it seemed very unlikely that Genma could pull off a good deception that might spare him an unpleasant turn of misfortune.

"Interesting again," the giant mused, "I see you are a fighting man, a specialist in unarmed grappling, that you have been a teacher of heroes, and that you have recently taught a King of a long-dead empire how to vanquish his enemies with power and grace. How very...convenient."

"Convenient?" Genma responded, feeling like a mouse under the intense scrutiny of the giant's gaze, who was obviously reading him like a scroll spelled out in large kanji.

"Yes," the giant stroked his beard, "I see by your look that you are a man of few scruples who lives by his wits and cunning. You have good survival instincts and you are willing to do whatever it takes to stay alive, even if that means that you also include the welfare of your student. I could use a man of your character and abilities. You see...I have this little...problem that's recently come up and..."

"Oh dear!" a woman's voice called out from somewhere over the event horizon, a voice that was cultured and mild-mannered in spite of resonating around forty decibels in volume, "Are you busy at the moment?"

The voice caused a most striking transformation over the giant, who went from leering confidence to an almost obsequious mousiness as he ducked his head and hunched his shoulders before replying, "Yes dear? Do you want something?"

Genma blinked his eyes and was unable to suppress a shudder as a womanly figure appeared in the space beside the giant, a towering vision of loveliness who's lithe form was only partially obscured by her toga, yet whose face and mannerisms reminded him entirely too much of Nodoka. She eyed Genma curiously then said, "Oh, didn't know that you were entertaining guests. Is this your newest plaything?"

"Oh, he's just some fellow I thought to amuse myself with," the giant said with nervous dismissal, "Pay him no heed. Now...what was it you wanted to talk about, my dumpling?"

"There's been another one of those silly rumors floating about that you've been seeing another mortal female," the giantess replied, still smiling, "I honestly don't know where these things get started, like that one about you and Leda that came up a few centuries back. I know you wouldn't be doing anything so perverted as to cheat behind my back, so I thought I'm come talk to you to see if you might want to do something to...oh, I suppose maybe discourage the rumor-  
mongering? Perhaps a word to some of your priests, a thunderbolt in the right place, possibly even a small plague of omens, a city destroyed, that sort of thing?"

"Of course, dearest," the giant assured his wife, "Whatever it takes to protect your reputation..."

"Thank you," the giantess smiled, "That would be ever-so-helpful."

So saying the giantess seemed to fade out into the distance, leaving the red-  
bearded giant to heave a sigh or relief. He turned back to Genma and said a single word, "Women."

"Tell me about it," Genma nodded sympathetically.

"Oh?" the giant eyed him with renewed respect, "You've got one at home too, eh? Well, then you know why it's pretty bloody important that she doesn't find out about one of my little peccadilloes that's cropped up in this century."

"Oh," Genma said, "So what's the problem?"

"The problem is that the woman I, ah...spent some time being nice to...has a son who's just been born, only I think my wife found out about the boy and now I'm in the doghouse with her on account of how she's so unreasonable and doesn't understand that a man just has these needs, you understand what I'm saying?"

"I think I do," Genma adjusted his glasses, "Boys can be such a handful..."

"Exactly," the red-bearded giant smiled, "Which is where you come in. You see...I need an agent who can look after my kid-ah! I mean, the son of the unfortunate lady in question-who may be in a bit of trouble if my wife follows her usual pattern and sends some of her agents out to do him an injustice..."

"Hold on there," Genma replied, "You want me to be the boy's trainer? I don't know how to tell you this, but I'm sort of getting on in years. I just spent the better part of my last twenty trying to find my way back to my own time, and I've got family to consider..."

"Oh, that's no problem for me," the giant assured him, "I can take years off of you with a wave of my hand, and you won't even need to age so long as you're working for me, and I even have a great dental plan on the side..."

"Thank you, but I really must decline," Genma said with mock-reluctance, "As I said, I need to get back home, so if you'll just send me back on my way..."

"Oh, now that's such a darn shame," the giant's smile took on a MOST unfriendly aspect, "You know what happened to the last guy who refused me? They're still fishing bits of him out of the river Styx down in Tartarus, and you know the really awful thing about dying down there is that you're never truly dead, which means that your suffering can go on for an eternity and..."

"Of course," Genma hastily amended, "Now that I think on it, it does sound as if your boy is in a very bad situation."

"You'll take the job then?" Zeus asked him with a knowing smile.

"A Martial Artist's duty is to look after those less fortunate than himself," Genma assured him, then paused before adding, "Will you send me back on my way when it's over?"

"No problem," Zeus smiled, then he snapped his fingers and said, "This will help you out with that little problem you've got about turning into a Panda (not that I've ever seen a Panda before, but this should make for a definite improvement). It should also do something about that stinky thing you seem to have been wearing for a couple of ages."

Genma felt a tingling sensation come over him, but once it passed he blinked his eyes and said, "Is...is it gone? Did you just remove the cruse from me? And I free from becoming a Panda?"

"Better than that, have a look!" Zeus grinned, holding up a mirror to give Genma a chance to appreciate the changes that had come over his appearance, beginning with the horns atop his head, projecting from behind the scarf he normally wore, then glancing down at his hairy purple body as he was no longer in his martial arts Gi, and further down he saw that his legs were especially hairy, terminating in a pair of cloven hooves that had replaced his feet

"Gah! Genma almost jumped, "You turned me into an Oni?"

"Nope," Zeus replied, "A Satyr. Now you won't have to worry about aging, and you can teach my boy how to really appreciate the fair sex when he comes of age. Do your job right and I'll change you back to human, younger and better than before, and with improved equipment that ought to impress the ladies you left back home."

Genma continued to study his profile in the mirror, then very hesitantly he removed his scarf, almost weeping for joy as he discovered that a full head of hair had replaced his massive bald spot. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad in the end, especially if he got to keep some of his new "manly" endowments.

"There you go," Zeus smiled, "Now off you go to the City of Thebes where you're to locate a woman named Alcmene, the wife of General Amphitryon, the King's brother. They've got two sons, Ithicles and Alcides. You're to find the latter and take him under your wing, teach him about life and survival and all that, then at the end of twenty years, if you do a good job, I'll send you home with an added bonus for your troubles."

"Two boys you say?" Genma rubbed his face and discovered that he had stubble, "How am I supposed to tell them apart?"

"Trust me," Zeus winked, "Just try shaking their hands, you won't have any trouble figuring out which one takes after his old man."

"Well..." Genma replied, "If you insist..."

He was already fading out before he had time to complete the sentence

Scene: The Late Bronze/Early Iron Age, Mycenean Period, Aetolian Greece, Theban Palace:

Genma blinked his eyes as he found himself in a darkened room that had odd furnishings and was a distinct architectural style that was very un-Japanese in nature. Genma started wondering where he was when he saw the baby's crib under the canopy in one corner. He took a step forward, then was startled at hearing the noise his hoof made on the hard stone floor. He crept more cautiously forward until he was standing over the crib and could peer down upon the two sleeping infants, both of whom looked identical, much to Genma's chagrin and horror.

Obviously he was faced with a problem of which child he needed to raise, and he knew instinctively that it would be a VERY BAD THING for him if he chose the wrong baby. That being taken as a given, how then was he supposed to know which child he was supposed to be training? The logical thing might be to take both of them, but he already knew how hard it was raising just one child on his own, let alone to take the responsibility of two on his broad shoulders.

What was it his newfound employer had said? Something about shaking hands with one of the two babies to determine which of them was most likely the son of a giant-Er-god? Genma was just in the process of trying to sort out what that might mean when a voice gasping in amazement distracted him from his objective. Genma turned to see a lovely young blonde-haired woman in an odd style of dress holding a hand up to her mouth and looking towards him as if the next thing she wanted to do was to scream her pretty head off in terror.

Genma crossed the space between them before she had time to take a breath and clamped a meaty hand over her mouth as he immobilized her with his other hand and said, "Please don't scream, I mean you no harm, miss..."

She continued to struggle, but his greater strength and skill prevented her from giving him too much trouble. Unfortunately there were other sounds to presently occupy his attention. Genma could not help noticing that most of those sounds were coming from outside of the chamber, which prompted him to ask, "What in the name of the Kami...?"

The woman ceased struggling with him and instead put both hands on his in an attempt to force it off of her mouth. She was looking both cross and indignant towards him, so Genma decided to take a chance and let her speak.

"It's a palace coup!" she informed him, her strange language sounding to his ears like highborn Japanese, "General Electryon is attempting to take over the throne of Thebes from his brother, King Alceus, and my husband, Amphitryon, is attempting to oppose him. He sent me to protect our sons, who are the heirs to the Royal House of Argive. Now who are you, stranger, and what is a Satyr doing in the nursery of my children?"

Genma was momentarily speechless, these revelations echoing in his mind as he tried to make sense out of everything he had just been told by the woman. Although he had a reputation as a man who was less than brilliant in other things, when it came to situations of battle, Genma's survival instincts were sharp, and even he was not too slow to put it all together and come to a startling revelation.

"Your name wouldn't happen to be...Alcmene, would it?" he asked.

"Why yes, I am Alcmene," she gasped, "But how did...?"

"I was sent here to find you and your boys," Genma hastily informed her, ad-  
libbing a partial lie on the spot that would perfectly fit the situation.

"Sent here?" the woman gasped, "By who..." she paused and then realization took her and she gasped, "By Zeus?"

"That was his name," Genma hastily nodded, taking note that the sounds of battle were growing uncomfortably near to their position, "He wants me to raise your son, Alcides, and keep him safe from his wife..."

"You mean Queen Hera?" the blonde woman's expression suddenly darkened, "I should have known! This is just so like him sending somebody else instead of coming in his place, and because of that...witch he calls his wife...imagine!"

"Eh?" Genma was partially distracted by a growing sense of urgency over their tenuous situation.

"Men!" the woman threw up her hands, "You're all alike! You don't call, you don't write, you don't even send a bloody omen, not one whisper in the ear of a priest, and yet here you expect me to just drop everything I'm doing and turn one of my two sons over to you just because a God tells me to do it and..."

"Excuse me," Genma urged her to pause in her ranting as two men burst into the room with spears at the ready and hostile intentions plain in their expressions. Genma did not even wait to hear the usual declaration on their part that they were here to murder the woman and her children on behalf of the new administration, he just took them out with a couple of well-placed kicks, admiring the power his hooves gave him as they solidly connected and drove both men into the stucco-and-plaster walls of the palace.

The woman blinked her eyes and said, "How did you...?"

"Later," Genma moved to the crib, scooped up one of the two boys at random and handed him to her, then picked up the other one and said, "Is there a way out of this place that doesn't involve running into a lot of other people?"

For a woman who was facing an eminent threat to her family and way of life while relying on a man who looked like he was part goat, she proved to have remarkable good judgement, turning from Genma and heading towards the back of the nursery, then pulling back a tapestry to show a door that had been concealed behind it.

Half an hour later they emerged from the mouth of a cave overlooking the palace, which could be seen burning behind the thick walls that surrounded it. Alcmene looked regretfully back at her former home and remarked, "I suppose I'm going to have to get used to the idea of being a widow. A good thing I'm not too old to consider dating."

"You're not upset about losing your husband?" Genma asked with considerable surprise.

"You would think that I should be, wouldn't you," she said as she turned and headed forward down a slope leading to a trail that would take them through a nearby forest, "But my husband and I were never that close. It was an arrange marriage you see, arranged by my parents before he kidnapped me from my house in the traditional manner. We've only been married a few years, of course, but they weren't all bad times, so I suppose I'm going to miss him."

"Forgive my asking," Genma said, "But is that why you took up with a God?"

"Oh no," she replied, "I didn't know it was Zeus at the time he knew me. He disguised himself as my husband, but I figured out right away that it couldn't be Amphitryon on account of my husband was never that interested in foreplay."

"Oh?" Genma wisely refrained from a more voluble reaction.

"Oh yes," Alcmene nodded her head sadly, "It was always, 'Woman, to bed!' with Amphitryon, like I was some kind of farm animal that he could jump whenever he felt like. He was always rushing off to war and leaving me to clean up the house, and never much thought about what I wanted to do with my evenings, not that there's all that much to do in Thebes, of course, which is nothing like my homeland in Argos."

"Oh," Genma took a moment before he asked his next question, "So, you're from Argos?"

"Originally, yes," she replied, "My great grandfather was King Perseus himself, so I have both noble and divine blood in my lineage, not that it means all that much in this day and age when everything seems to be falling apart, case in point what just happened in the palace."

"I see," Genma replied, not actually understanding much beyond the fact that the world he was now trapped in was remarkably a lot like the one he left behind in the Hyborean era, but that would be enough to stand him in good stead while he attempted to get his bearings.

"Of course I shouldn't really complain," the woman continued, "Zeus obviously sent you to be my protector since you're a powerful warrior and a Satyr, of course that also means I should be careful around you as I only know about Satyrs from their reputation, which isn't very good I'm afraid, though I think it's wrong to judge people by appearances, don't you? And after all, being around you is probably a lot better than remaining back there and being butchered like a cow by Electryon, which wouldn't be much fun at all, I can tell you..."

Genma was amazed at the woman's ability to talk almost non-stop all the way until it became too dark to continue on, at which point Genma declared that it would be a good idea to make camp, having finally assured himself that there was no one in pursuit of the Princess and her two infant Princes. As there had been very little time to take anything of value with them it was left to Genma to have to catch their dinner while Alcmene started a fire with pieces of flint and steel that she carried on her person, as someone from his own time might have carried a pocket lighter.

Fortunately for Genma game was plentiful in these woods, so before long they had a fire going with an unfortunate wild pig roasting over the coals that had made the mistake of trying to gore him. Alcmene remarked on her surprise at discovering a Satyr who had a taste for animal flesh, and Genma allowed that he was more used to eating wild rice in his journeys, only rice was not native to the climate, and he had little stomach for wheat or barley.

However, as nightfall progressed and the time came to retire, Genma discovered that his companion had a different sort of appetite that she wanted to have sated. Genma became aware of this when he felt something warm, cuddlesome and pleasant to smell draping herself upon him, and as he started to feel the first twinges of panic he heard her murmur in his ear, "So...what else is or isn't true about you Satyrs? I hear you can keep it up far longer than any human male...is this true?"

Genma swallowed and tried to think of something to say that might stave off the inevitable. Thoughts of Nodoka and her katana loomed heavily in his mind, an image that even twenty years in the Hyborean age (an era where people were more than happy to stick you with anything sharp for the least little pretext) had utterly failed to erase. Nonetheless his rebellious manhood flared to life, not having been put to much use in so long a time that it's mutiny in such a time of crisis was only to be expected. Fortunately before matters could go any farther they were disturbed by the sound of a baby crying.

"Ithicles!" Alcmene declared in the first real distress that Genma had heard since they had left the burning palace.

Genma wondered exactly how the lady could tell her twin sons apart by the sound of their voices, but his own concern motivated him to stagger after her as she went to where the two infants had been sleeping, only to stop and stare in amazement at the sight presented in the light of their dwindling campfire.

There was one of the boys happily waving something in each hand that made a slight rattling noise every time he shook them. Closer scrutiny determined that the boy was clutching a pair of snakes that he had crushed to death between his tiny fingers. His brother nearby was crying in obvious fright as Alcmene picked him up to shush him back to a quiet state or reassurance.

Genma stared at the boy holding the twin snakes, realizing belatedly that this must be the son of the giant as only a giant could have possessed such strength. Now, however, he also understood why the giant had wanted him to shake hands with such a youngster. Such power was intimidating, to say the least, but Genma's eyes gleamed with the first faint sparks of inspiration as he thought of the boy's incredible potential. Such a warrior the young Prince might be with just the right sort of training, and Genma knew in that instant just what he had to do and how he had to go about it. Alcmene was obviously fond of the other boy, so she could afford to spare one son for the purpose of training him to one day become a great martial artist.

Only one thing nagged at Genma...the boy's name. Alcides was such a wimpy sounding title for such a potentially strong fighter. He needed a name that had character and boasted of strength, so he turned to Alcmene, formulating a plan in his mind that caused a faint smile to darken his overly hairy features.

"Princess," he began, "The boys will no doubt be considered a threat to the new King if he finds out that they're still alive. I think it would be wisest if you disguise them by giving them new names..."

"You're right, of course," she nodded, "But what do you think I should call them? One of them is Amphitryon's true son, but the other is the son of a god..." she seemed to take belated notice of the two snakes the boy was playing with and said, "Damn it! Hera must have sent those! That witch will do anything to punish me for catching Zeus's eye, as if I wanted to be caught up in their marital troubles...!"

"Hmm..." Genma said thoughtfully, "Two snakes...no, that doesn't sound right. It's got to be a name that had character, that conveys strength and courage..."

"Or just pisses Hera off," Alcmene snorted, "Her wrath is probably what gave my evil uncle the idea of taking the Kingdom for himself. Hera's wrath..." she paused, blinked her eyes then spoke again, "Hera's Wrath...Herakles! That name sounds like it belongs to a hero, and if my son grows up to be anything like his true father, then he'll be a terror to the ladies, not to mention anything else that gets in his way."

"Leave that to me, Princess," Genma smiled in false humility, "I train heroes for a living. It's what I do best and it's the reason Lord Zeus sent me."

"Can you also train Ithicles to fight?" she asked, holding up the sleeping babe in her arms, "It would be nice if they both grew up to become heroes, then Ithicles can return home and take the throne back when he gets older with his younger brother serving as his shield arm."

"Eh?" Genma's mind went slightly off track, but he recovered himself with great agility, "Well...maybe a few years training together, the both of them could learn a lot with a sparring partner..."

"Then it's settled," she nodded, "We'll go to Argo where my cousin, King Stheneles, will be happy to give me a home in the country, and of course you'll be invited to stay with us and train both of my sons to be heroes. My cousin will be very generous in rewarding you for your troubles on my behalf."

"Oh, it's nothing that a virtuous Martial Artist would not do for a woman in..." Genma paused then asked the inevitable question, "How big of a treasure...?"

Fifteen years later...

"At last!" Zeus thundered as he studied the omens in the fire before him, "After all these seasons my boy is finally coming home to assume his place among the Olympians! Now at last my plans for the boy can be realized! I must summon my daughters so we can make all the necessary arrangements."

"Are you sure that's wise, Father?" asked Hermes, son of Maia, the God of Speed and Mail Delivery Service, "You know what Hera seems to think about incestuous unions between close family members..."

"Never mind what Hera thinks, son," Zeus replied, "Chronos knows I've never wasted too much valuable time worrying on that subject. This is important to the destiny of Olympus, when our bloodlines shall finally converge and a new future will awaken that will insure that we of Olympus continue to reign for another thousand years of history. Now, be a good boy and summon up your sisters, the unmarried ones who wouldn't mind a good catch in a husband."

"As you wish, Father," Hermes sighed, then like a flash he was somewhere else upon Mount Olympus, one by one visiting the shrines and homes of his various sisters, avoiding the ones who had marital arrangements as he focused upon those who were presently of unmarried status.

"Athena," Hermes spoke up, addressing a massive mountain of books upon which was perched a helmeted woman who was using a spear to help prop up a stack of scrolls as high as a mountain, "Dad wants you to be in on a family meeting. At least somebody with sense any way..."

"Indeed?" the dark haired beauty replied, "Well, there's little enough of that in our family, isn't there little brother?"

Hermes did not pause to answer but instead covered his eyes as he appeared upon the edge of a bathing pool secluded in the middle of a woodland zone, "Artemis...Dad's calling a family pow-wow, and I think you ought out to be in on this."

Artemis glanced in annoyance his way, having been busy "rubbing" the back (and of course the front areas as well) of one of her attendant Nymphs, growling in her imitation, "Always when I'm busy taking a bath. I wonder what the old fart is up to this time?"

"Do you really want to know?" Hermes asked, daring to peek through the space between his fingers as he hoped his Silver-haired sister would not notice his interested expression.

"Probably not," she said as she reached for a chiton that another Nymph handed towards her and started up along the bank of the wading pool, adding under her breath, "And you can knock off the act, you pervert. I'm already decent..."

"That...doesn't sound too likely," Hermes murmured under his breath, then he sighed, "You know, it's things like this that cause some of us to think that you're a little odd, sister dearest."

"So who asked you?" she snapped, belting him good and hard so that Hermes briefly became airborne, only to crash down again in an orchard area at the other end of Mount Olympus.

"Oh my," remarked the Goddess Hebe, who was presently collecting some of the Apples of Immortality that would be used to brew the honey-dew wine known as Ambrosia, "Are you all right, little brother?"

"Never better," Hermes groaned, looking up into the concerned and compassionate eyes of the Goddess of Eternal Youth, "Dad wants you to join us at his temple. He's got something planned that he wants you to be in on."

"Me?" Hebe blinked, "Oh dear...I wonder what it could be? I do hope mother isn't having another period. The last one took over twenty years to go away..."

"It's not quite that much of an emergency," Hermes got to his feet, already recovered from his rude landing, "It's just that he's expecting some company that he wants you and the other girls to meet. I'd hurry over there if I were you. I think you've already gathered enough apples."

"I do hope you are right, Hermes," she smiled, "Father was planning some sort of celebration, and I wanted to make sure we had enough Ambrosia on hand. Well...best not to keep father waiting..."

Indeed, Hermes thought almost sourly, no sense staving off the impending calamity that was likely to occur when Athena and Artemis got word of their father's intentions. Instead he steeled himself for his next destination as the scenery whirled by until he was in another part of the Olympian orchards, a place where Hemlock and other poisonous plants grew more abundantly than anything wholesome.

"Eris," Hermes could not quite suppress a slight shudder as the dark haired daughter of Hera turned to regard him with a typically demented expression.

"Yes, brother dearest?" she asked in lilting tones as she held a black orchid up to her face and took a slight sniff from its narcotic perfume.

"Er...never mind," Hermes avowed, realizing that there were some things that he could not be persuaded to inflict upon a kinsman, even a half-brother. Instead he whizzed back to where Zeus was anxiously awaiting his return and reported, "They're coming as you asked, Father...in fact, they should be here at any moment."

"Excellent," Zeus replied without looking up from the divining pool before him, "My agents have detected two half-mortals making their way up the side of Mount Olympus. I want you to conduct them here so that we can get this thing started before certain parties can get wind of what's about..."

"Daddy," a melodious voice addressed them, causing both gods to start as they turned to be greeted by the sight of a vision of unparalleled loveliness standing there half-draped in a toga looking crossly at them with her very posture a kind of accusation.

"Not now, Aphrodite," Zeus urged, "Daddy's very busy at the moment..."

"Yeah, I heard," the strawberry blonde goddess of Love and Beauty remarked as she came forward to put her hands on her hips and glare at them as she continued, "You're going to be having some kind of a meeting with Artemis, Athena and Hebe but you didn't think about inviting me. Now why is that, I wonder? And what's this about a pair of half-mortals coming to pay us a visit?"

"Ah..." Zeus tried to think of something to say that might disarm his acquisitive sexpot daughter and failed utterly to come up with anything intelligent. Fortunately he was spared having to answer as an Owl came fluttering down from the sky and metamorphed a moment later into the tall and athletic form of the brown-haired Athena.

"Off hand, dear sister," the cunning Goddess of Wisdom and Battlefield Strategy replied, "I would say that father is planning something that involves those of us presently of an unmarried status, which of course also implies that matrimonial prospects are about to be considered."

A roe deer came trotting up to join them, transforming a moment later into the Silver haired Artemis, who flashed an angry glare in Zeus's direction and asked, "Is that true, Dad? Are you planning to hitch one of us up to some yucky guy who you're inviting up to Olympus? Count me out of this!"

"Oh my," a melodious voice asked as a spring flower bloomed up from the floor, growing in size until it took the dark haired form of the Goddess Hebe, who added, "I do hope that he's someone mature this time. Mortals tend to be so...immature in their behavior."

"That's because they're not around long enough to really grow up," Artemis snapped, "I'll bet it's one of the Titan-spawn from over the next ridge who's going to come calling on us...either that or some pervert Hero who's made a name for himself and thinks he can graduate to our stature."

"Who cares if he's a Titan or a Mortal?" Aphrodite all but drooled, "If he's a man then we ought to at least give him a lookover!"

"Very true," Athena nodded sagely, then added, "He might even be attractive."

"So what if he is a man?" Artemis scoffed, "What's so great about MEN anyway?"

"Little sister," Aphrodite smiled, "You really want to hear the full list?"

"I'm afraid that when it comes to mortals of the male persuasion our sister is not much inclined to be open-minded," Athena remarked, "She would much rather cavort with mortals of the female persuasion, much as she does with the Nymphs who attend to her like groupies."

"Better groupies than gropies!" Artemis snorted, "You want a man so much, you can have him, sisters!"

"I'm afraid that will be impossible in Aphrodite's case," Zeus replied.

"Huh?" the reddish-blonde goddess blinked her eyes, "How come?"

"Because you're already married to your half-brother, Hephaestus," Zeus replied, "And there's also Ares to consider..."

"Oh that?" Aphrodite made a dismissive motion with her hand, "That's been over for centuries, and you call that a marriage? It was your idea to begin with, Daddy! Heph and I haven't really seen each other much over the last thousand years..."

"Nevertheless," Zeus replied, "My new son is destined to become a husband for one of your sisters, and that is my final word on the subject. I HAVE SPOKEN!" he raised a finger melodramatically as lightly briefly illuminated the heavens.

"Oh yeah?" Aphrodite asked without budging, "Then I suppose I could just go ask Mommy for her opinion on the subject."

"Ah..." Zeus's expression paled, and in a lower volume he said, "Well...maybe you could just sit in and serve as a witness? Hermes?"

"Yes Father," Hermes sighed, hoping his new brother would be of sterner stuff than most mortals as he judged the poor guy was about to walk into a real hen's nest with the man-eating Cockatrices he affectionately referred to as his sisters...

"So what's the big deal anyway?" a tall and powerfully built woman was asking of a purple furred Satyr, "Why can't I go to Mount Olympus to finally meet up with my father like you've been saying all along I should do? Why the sudden change of heart, Old Man? Ya got some reason why I shouldn't go like this to meet my maker?"

Genma swallowed as he eyed his charge, roving up and down her lithe body as he took in her muscular and compact frame with a sense of grim fatality gradually overtaking his enthusiasm. Long curling blonde hair had replaced the normally brown locks of the boy he had all but raised as a son in their various travels. Though not yet of his (or her) full growth, the youth before him would turn heads and start conversations in any tavern throughout the whole of Danaeric region, to say nothing of a good chunk of Anatolia, from whence they had most recently returned.

"Have you taken a good look at yourself in a bronzed mirror, boy?" he asked, "I don't think you want to appear like that around your brother Gods if half the rumors I've heard are true regarding Apollo or your father."

"Huh?" the girl glanced down at herself in mild disgust, fingering the way her leather cuirass had to be constantly re-adjusted every time he went through a transformation, "And who's fault is this anyway? It was your idea to cut through that bloody swamp in the first place!"

"That was just to avoid having another run-in with those Amazons," Genma replied, "And if you hadn't made the mistake of offending Hecate..."

"Hey, she started it!" the youth snapped, glaring down in disgust at her body again before adding, "At least hot water reverses this transformation magic. I suppose I should go find a hot spring somewhere and soak myself to the right gender."

"That would be very wise," Genma nodded, "And believe me, you don't want your father to see you like this..."

"You mean YOU don't want him to see me like this!" the youth glared in anger, "Why, I oughta..."

Hermes popped in at that moment, having run the full distance from the top of Mount Olympus without seriously winding himself, so he was able to recognize Genma right away as he said, "Thank Chronos you're finally here! The old man's been driving me up the wall, asking every five Nano-seconds when you two were gonna show up and-HELLO! What have we here...?"

His eyes roved up and down the form of the young girl wearing a lion's skin for a cape and his smile took on a speculative interest. It was only as he was starting forward that he found the lady's fist intercepting his face with enough force to mark "Cancel" on ten years worth of Airmail.

"Back off, Bro!" the blonde woman snapped, "I'm NOT in the mood!"

"Gah...!" Hermes recoiled from the blow, his head wobbling like a gong.

"Hermes," Genma recognized the Messenger of the Gods from their many past encounters, "I suggest you hold off on your usual method of saying hello until you hear the full story. Say hello to your brother, Herakles, who's suffering under a curse of divine proportions thanks to a certain Witch Goddess."

"Which goddess again?" Hermes asked as he contemplated asking his nephew, Asclepius, to hurry up and invent Aspirin, when Genma's words started to penetrate the thick fog in his mind and he took another hard look at the "blonde" in question, "Herakles? You've got to be kidding me!"

"I'm afraid not, Bro," Herakles glanced down at herself in disgust, "Wish I was but I'm not."

Hermes was used to encountering a fast-growing youth who looked very much as if he would be as tall as an ogre when he reached full maturity, but not the altogether gorgeous specimen of the fairer sex that had obviously taken his half-brother's place. Even millennia of experiments in hormone/gene therapy and sex change plastic surgery could not account for such a complete transformation. Hermes sized his new "little sister" up and could think to say only one thing, "Dad's gonna freak!"

"You think it's any picnic for me?" Herakles asked, "Good think I change back to normal with hot water, which reminds me, Bro...do you think maybe you could get some before we get to Olympus?"

"Ah...right!" Hermes decided right then and there that this was NOT going to go into his official report of the incident. His outline blurred for a half second, and then he held up an iron cauldron and said, "This may be a bit warm for you, Brother..."

"Gah!" Herakles reacted, sputtering as his frame filled out the dimensions of his cuirass until he stood nearly six feet even, with promise of a late growth spurt in the offing. He flexed massive shoulders that appeared appropriately godly then heaved a broad smile and said, "Thanks, Hermes! It feels great to be a guy again! Just as long as I can keep away from cold water I can stay this way too!"

"Uh...right," Hermes turned to look at Genma and asked, "Just what did he do to piss off Hecate this badly?"

"You really want to know?" Genma asked rhetorically, "Let's just say it involved one of her daughters..."

"Oh," Hermes decided no further explanation would be required. With Olympians the one great bane of having a wandering eye was that all the really cute girls tended to have less-than-understanding parents. He turned away and said, "Just hang tight and I'll transport you two to where Dad is waiting. Get ready for a real shock when you get there."

There was little sense of transition as Hercules and Genma found themselves within an amphitheater-like setting with the huge form of Zeus inclined upon his marble throne, flanked on either side by visions of loveliness who were of a more human stature. The red-bearded giant beamed a broad smile and said, "Welcome, my son, to your new home on Mount Olympus."

"Father?" Herakles asked after a moment of understandable amazement.

"Who else, my boy?" Zeus beamed, "You were expecting maybe some special effects and lightning?"

As if on cute the sky suddenly lit up with crackling thunder and bright flashes of gagged fire. It was an effect that even impressed the lionskin-clad youth, though he only mildly betrayed any reaction.

"Okay," he said slowly, "Ah...I guess I should say that this is a real honor...but don't take this the wrong way, but...why haven't I ever seen you before?"

"Had to keep a low profile, Son," Zeus waved a massive hand for emphasis, "Politics and all of that. How is your mother getting along? I've tried to keep tabs on her when the old Witch will let me..."

"Mom was fine the last I saw her," Herakles replied, "Of course that was a while back..."

"Just so," Zeus nodded, then got right down to the point, "I'd like to introduce you to a few of your sisters, the ones who currently don't have husbands and are available for betrothal. Hebe is the eldest among them, one of Hera's daughters who tends the Orchards of Immortality and is a very fine cook, make a great wife for some lucky devil, don't you think?"

"I suppose," Herakles noticed the shy-looking Hebe, who was eyeing him in a very peculiar way, almost demure in a cute, self-conscious manner.

"She's nothing like her mother, take my word on that, Boy," Zeus confided, then moved on to the next selection, "Athena, daughter of Metis, is a real classic beauty, is she not? A scholarly type but one hell of a shield maiden, a fit bride for a true warrior type, as I'm sure you will agree."

Herakles studied the face of the brown-haired Athena, disturbed by the almost cat-like expression that she was wearing as she seemed to size him up with speculative interest. He was wondering if he was only imagining that she was undressing him with her eyes, taking a less-than-clinical approach to taking stock of her half-brother. His nervousness increased when he heard her murmur at a barely audible level, "Perhaps this might be worth further research after all..."

"And lastly," Zeus continued, "There's Artemis, daughter of Leda, the Goddess of the Moon and Recreational Hunting."

Herakles almost took a step back as he read the hostility in the glare of the silver-haired Moon Goddess. He had the uncomfortable sense that she was mentally drawing a target bulls eye on his chest (or perhaps a bit lower than that) and by no means was her regard either open or friendly.

"Ahem," said the forth girl present, shooting an annoyed glance towards their father.

"Um...oh yes," Zeus remarked as if in afterthought, "And this here is Aphrodite, daughter of Dione and the wife of your half-brother, Hephaestus..."

"Daddy!" Aphrodite growled, "I told you it was over between us!"

"Choose any one of these girls and she can be your wife and/or Mistress," Zeus hastily announced, cutting off the Goddess of Love in mid-tirade.

It took several seconds before Herakles could react to this announcement, "My...what?"

"Your wife," Zeus continued smiling, "I want you to be marrying back into the family, to bring in new blood and keep us from stagnating the gene pool..."

"Like you haven't already done enough work on that end, Dad?" Herakles heard Hermes murmur at barely a whisper.

"But...But I can't marry one of my own sisters!" Herakles protested.

"Half-sisters," Zeus reminded him, "And sure you can, my boy! It's done all the time among Mortals! I married my sister when I became King of Olympus, and most of these girls were from various cousins that I...ah...dated in my days of youth..."

"Marriage between Princes and Princesses is an expected obligation of those who bear royal title," Athena explained, "And you are a prince of the Kingdom of Thebes, even if you are presently in exile. It's very likely that you would have had an arranged marriage with a blood cousin had you been a full mortal, like your older brother."

"But...!" Herakles opened his mouth to protest, only to find Genma's beefy hand clamping down over his mouth.

"Your son is in awe of the great honor you do for him, my Lord," Genma hastily explained, "The beauty of your radiant daughters has left him feeling humbled in their presence."

Herakles's eyes widened a bit on hearing this. Since when had the Old Goat ever waxed so lyrical? His usual method of address was more like, "Stop your whining boy, and take what's good for you!" Which is what he usually said just before Herakles would deck him.

"My boy intimidated by a woman?" Zeus scoffed, "Not a chance!"

"Father," Hebe spoke up rather shyly, "Perhaps you are going a bit too hastily in dropping all of this in our brother's lap. He does seem to be rather mature for his size-I mean-his age, but..."

"I don't believe this!" Artemis all but exploded, "You guys are going along with this? COUNT ME OUT!"

"Now Sisters," Athena chided, "Father is only trying to legitimize our brother's claims to being a Prince of Olympus before anyone can challenge his right to be here. The reason for this haste is obvious enough, although I do agree that marrying into the family has certain...unfavorable aspects. You do that too often and recessive traits will tend to manifest in the bloodline, not that I think there is anything the least bit unhealthy about this one..." her smile and look of speculation became particularly predatory.

"Hey, wait a minute!" Herakles fought his way clear of Genma's grasp, "Don't I get a say in whom I'm gonna marry? This ain't the kind of reunion I was looking forward to, Dad!"

"I know, Boy," Zeus made a placating gesture, "A young man with prospects like you doesn't want to tie himself down too early, but it's all for the best if you agree to take one of these girls to be your wife, at least officially. You'll still be free to play around a bit when you get more settled..."

"DAD!" four feminine voices growled out in chorus.

"NEVER!" another voice reverberated, male this time and from none of those visibly present, "I WILL NEVER ALLOW THIS TRAVESTY TO OCCUR!"

One moment later an armored figure appeared in a burst of flames, stepping forth with crimson hair and beard showing from beneath a bronze helmet, tall and powerful looking with a sword in one hand that was the color of blood.

"Ares," Hermes growled in evident disapproval.

"Stay out of this, Brother!" Ares all but spat the word as he leveled the sword towards Herakles, "This is between me and that base pretender over there! I will never allow such a puny one to defile the sacred halls of fair Olympus, and the Heavens would weep with the injustice of allowing such a one to so much as cast wandering eye on any of my fair sisters!"

"Yeah right," Herakles scoffed, "What are you gonna do about it, Helmet-boy?"

"Only this!" Ares cried as he brought his sword up in both hands and prepared to swing it.

Herakles moved faster than the red-bearded warrior, though, and delivered a stinging blow to the jaw that made the God of War and Militarism take a half-  
step back. Herakles followed up with a second back-fist that spun the god around, and then with a well-placed kick to the rear he sent his divine half-  
brother tumbling end-over-end, leaving the amphitheater like a pig-skin that had been kicked for a field goal.

"What a wimp," Herakles snorted, "I thought he'd at least give me more of a challenge."

"By THUNDER!" Zeus cried, half out of his chair with a huge grin upon his broad face, "Now that's the way to earn your title here, my son! I knew it was a wise idea to entrust you to the keeping of your wise and learned teacher!"

"Huh?" Herakles blinked his eyes, hooking a thumb as he frowned in disbelief and said, "You mean Uncle Genma?"

"Perhaps I am rushing things a bit," Zeus smirked as he ran fingers through his beard and eyed his daughters in a speculative manner, "Maybe I could give you a few hours to decide which of these girls will become your wife. Take all day if you like, but in the meantime enjoy the comforts of home, my boy, you've more than earned it."

"Maybe so," Hermes held up his nose between thumb-and-forefinger, "But I think Herakles here should at least take a hot bath before he goes anywhere. You smell like you've been on the road for a couple of ages. Why don't you show him where the bathing pools are, Hebe?"

"Me?" the tall goddess blinked her eyes and blushed like a mortal girl, saying, "Oh my..."

"Why her?" Aphrodite and Athena growled in chorus, while Artemis looked on in studied indifference.

"Because Dad just said we shouldn't rush things," Hermes explained, "And if we left the task up to either of you, do you think you could keep your hands off him for five minutes?"

Both goddesses looked hastily away while Hebe reluctantly got up with a sigh, shyly glanced at Herakles and said, "Would you follow me this way...brother?"

"Herakles," he replied, "I'd like it better if we kept it on a name basis, okay Sis?"

He followed her out of the amphitheater towards the main gardens where both wading pools and spas were located while two of the remaining goddesses paused long enough to each look speculatively at the other, then get up and follow at a discrete distance. Artemis just sat where she was with her arms folded over her chest, but after a moment she decided that she could use a swim herself to cool down her temper, preferably as far away as she could get from her newly discovered brother and potential pest.

Genma was left alone to his own thoughts, then glanced around and smiled to himself, wondering what sort of things the Gods might leave lying around for an industrious fellow like himself to examine...

To Be Continued.

Comments/Criticisms/Grecian Formula #1039672: shadowmane

Genma's time and space encounters continue when Artemis takes a bath and discovers something she actually can enjoy about her new "brother." Be there...

X

If you wish to check out my other works, Please check out my Fanfiction webpage at: . or it's mirror site at: ~ All related chapters of this series can be found there along with my other works.


	2. Chapter 2

Hercules2

"Genma Saotome's Time and Space Misadventures!"

Hercules One Half

The Second Chapter

By Jim Robert Bader

(Loosely inspired by the Works of Rumiko Takahashi &amp; Others Including a Large Slice of Bullfinch's Mythology)

Part Two.

Argo City: The Late Bronze/Early Iron Age-1254 BC.

A long figure wandered the streets of Argo City just as curfew was being declared by its citizenry, who were hastily rushing for their doors and dropping their curtains into place. Doors being something of a novelty in this end of town, there was little more that the people could do to secure their homes, other than the ancient standard of keeping a good club handy, but the stranger seemed to pay no mind to the hubbub all around him. He walked not as a man with a goal or a purpose in mind but rather like one who was lacking in any sense of direction, which indeed was the case, though had any dared suggest such a thing he might have offered them stern rebuke for daring to infer such a thing of the future Prince of Thebes.

One such reckless citizen did stop to inquire of the lost youth in question, expressing his concern for a fellow traveler upon the road of life by crying out, "WHAT IN THE NAME OF ALL THE GODS ARE YOU DOING, YOU BLOODY IDIOT? GET TO SHELTER QUICK! THE MINOTAUR IS LOOSE, AND HE ROAMS THESE STREETS AFTER SUNSET!"

"Excuse me," the wayward youth asked of this fellow, "I'm trying to find my way to Mount Olympus. Can you tell me how to get there?"

"Are you stupid or just some religious pilgrim with a death wish?" the Citizen responded, "You want to see the gods? Just keep doing what you're doing and you won't be long for this world, that I can assure you!"

"Do I take the east road leading out from town or head west along the crescent fields?" the youth asked, both times pointing in exactly the opposite direction.

"East is that way," the Citizen corrected, "And the crescent road is-HOLY MOTHER OF CHAOS! IT'S FOUND US!"

"Eh?" the youth turned around, seeing a huge, burly shape come staggering down the street blowing steam out of its nostrils, at least four cubits in height and a good five stone in mass from the sound its hooves made. Oddly though the youth did not look unduly alarmed as he said, "Oh, you must be the Minotaur everyone's telling me about. How do you do? My name is Ithicles, and I'm a Prince in search of my brother, Herakles..."

The Minotaur, not being one very keen to genealogy, lowered its head, bared its wicked horns, scuffed the ground a few times and began charging the reckless youth, who dared to mock its fearsome reputation.

Ithicles did not become in the least alarmed, simply judged the creatures momentum and mass, then casually reached out with both hands and caught the horns before they could gore him. Bearing his own considerable weight to the endeavor, he forced the horns down into the dirt road then quickly stepped to the side and let basic physics do the rest. The horns were driven deep into the sod as the Minotaur suddenly round its body projected upright in the inverted position. For a moment it hovered there, then it crashed back down to Earth, arching its back so that it did not break its bull neck in the process.

The cowering citizen, who had been huddled on the ground covering his head and weeping to the Gods of his ancestors, was rather surprised that he wasn't visiting them in person the next several moments later when he felt a hand tap him on the shoulder and ask, "Now, you were about to tell me which way it was to the crescent road?"

"Eh...?" the man slowly pried his fingers open, saw the Minotaur futily struggling to pull its horns out of the ground while virtually bent over backwards, then looked up to the politely inquiring youth with the sort of dumbstruck expression one gets in the presence of a major miracle. He slowly got to his feet and said, "By the Gods...what manner of man are you?"

"Like I said," Ithicles replied patiently, "I'm a Prince of Thebes currently looking for my brother, who went to Mount Olympus. Now, which way did you say it was again?"

All at once people began pouring out from their homes to stare in wonder at the stunning achievement that some had just witnessed while cowering in hiding. The young Prince was an instant hit with both the men and the ladies, for not only was he passingly handsome but he seemed fairly well traveled for a youth in that day and age. This implied that he was either a tradesman or a Hero...and in the latter case they were willing to make a few exceptions for his careworn vestments, which did not seem very Prince-like.

Ithicles endured their adulation, extracted the requested information, declined holding a festival in his honor and politely left along the way he had come, getting lost once more in the maze-like streets of the city the minute he was out of eyeshot of the people.

"What a nice young man," one old woman remarked, "What name did he give again?"

"I think...he called himself Hercules?" a young man offered.

"I thought he said Isosceles," a beautiful young girl offered, "The way he's going I think he's trying to triangulate his position."

"That's calculus," an old lady hissed, "They haven't invented that yet!" but of course everyone ignored her.

"Wait a sun-dial notation," the citizen who had personally spoken to the hero in question remarked, "Herakles? By the Gods! So that is Herakles? The youth who cleaned the King's stables?"

"I thought that was only a metaphor," someone else inquired.

"No, he really did clean the King's stables," another man replied, "I was there, I saw it! He diverted a major river and flooded the place out...washed a good sized chunk of the royal herd out to sea, really pissed the King off something awful!"

"Well, at least the place should smell nicer when it dries out," yet another old man theorized, "It was always a bit intense living downwind of the place near about Fall season."

Many heads bobbed in agreement that this was a good thing, and so the reputation of a youth named Herakles began to grow in the retelling, while the actual youth named Ithicles despaired of finding his way out of the accursed city, whose streets seemed to keep shifting on him every time he turned a corner. The future father of the line that would one day be called Hibiki paused to shake his fists towards the heaven and cried out, "DAMN YOU, BROTHER HERAKLES! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! IF YOU'D ONLY MET UP WITH ME AT THE AGREED UPON PLACE OF OUR MAN-TO-MAN FIGHT...!"

His voice trailed off as despair overtook him once again. Having been separated from his godly twin brother for three years tended to leave one in a constant state of near-depression, mainly because he couldn't even find his way back to their mother's house, and he rather suspected that his dinner was getting cold. He silently muttered a curse or two towards their trainer, holding a fair share of the blame for his abandonment to Saotome Genma, the man who had been their alleged guardian for ages. Because of him offending the Goddess of Witches poor Ithicles had been set upon with this curse of no direction. The first thing he intended to do when he found his teacher and half-brother would be to pound them both flat into the dirt for all his troubles.

But first he had to find his way to Mount Olympus, and the fact that he was actually hurling his curses towards a place called Mount Sinai figures not in the least to this story...

Olympus, Royal Gardens, Nymph Bathing Pool, same time and date.

Herakles was glad to finally peel off his travel-worn clothing so that he could wash the skins and air out his sandals. Easing himself into the cool embrace of the bathing pool naturally triggered Hecate's curse, reverting him to a her as SHE lost mass and volume, taking on slimmer curves yet still possessing excellent muscle definition. Her hair went from chestnut brown to a tawny golden coloration as her features shifted from hard masculine lines to softer feminine curves. Only her eyes did not change as Herakles sank down to neck-  
level in the water, relishing the divinely invigorating way the water helped revitalized her travel-hardened body.

This whole business about meeting up with her father and the other gods of Olympus was turning out to be nothing like she had imagined it would be, and learning that she might be engaged to marry one of her own sisters had not improved the Demigod's (or Demigoddess) temperament in the least. Oh sure, they were beautiful in a divine-kind-of-way, but a young man (?) with prospects hardly sought to tie himself (or herself) down with such things if they could be in any way avoided. Somehow, though, she had the distinct impression that her father was not the sort of God who took "No" for an answer, so that meant doing the supremely distasteful and consulting with "Uncle Genma" to see what the conniving old fool might suggest for an outlet.

Of course, knowing his "Uncle" as well as he did, Herakles judged it extremely likely that he was off somewhere in the Royal Palace attempting to steal whatever wasn't nailed down, provided it was also none-too-heavy...

Unbeknownst to the young Demigod (dess), someone else was approaching the bathing pool in a very foul mood, having argued to no avail against the entire stupid scheme of her father to engage either her or one of her unmarried sisters to this ignorant lout whose only claim to notoriety was possessing a divine birthright!

"Father never could keep it inside his loin cloth," she muttered acidly as she began to strip off her one-shouldered chiton, thinking what she needed right then and there was a long soak in some cold water. She was about to summon up her Nymph attendants when she spotted a head bobbing up in the pool and froze in mid-motion. Blond hair, the color of wheat in the Harvest season, was all that she could see from her vantage, but some instinct of divine persuasion led her to instantly suspect that the person in question was of female gender and not (UGH-SHUDDER) the masculine persuasion!

Artemis allowed her single wardrobe to fall unnoticed about her ankles, setting down her bow and quiver as she made out the form of the girl in question when the blonde stretched out and began to do a casual backstroke, kicking long, shapely legs into view that looked muscular-but-supple. Artemis extended the power of her divine gaze to "view" the woman as though no water actually existed and was mightily impressed by what she discovered...a handsome young girl with a highly athletic body and thighs that could easily crack walnuts. Artemis began salivating at the thought of what else might be discovered between those thighs and a slow, languid smile began to illuminate her radiantly divine features.

Yes indeed, she thought to herself with a crafty gleam in her silvery eyes, a good dip in the pool was exactly what the divine plan called for...

Herakles was deep in thought reflecting on her recent travels through the land of the Scythians, which was the cause of so many of her recent troubles. Uncle Genma had the notion of traveling somewhere far to the East, to lands no one had ever even heard about, claiming a desire to visit his far distant homeland, which naturally brought them in contact with those man-hating tribes of nomadic horsewomen known as Amazons, known to some-ironically enough- as the "Daughters of Ares." Not being conversant on matters of land use, and having had quite an appetite at the time, Herakles had shot a deer with an arrow, only to find one of those fierce Warrior Women was claiming the same prospective meal, their two arrows having found the same beast at nearly the exact same instant. Naturally enough a heated dispute had broken out between them over whose deer it was, and the unreasonable harpy had the gall of suggesting he back off his claim entirely, claiming home court advantage. If Herakles had been in a less famished state (brought in part to his adoptive Uncle having greedily devoured their stock of provisions along the way) he might have been willing to accommodate the lady as she was quite the beauty, but instead he had offered to share the buck between them, an offer he had thought quite reasonable given the circumstances.

Much to his surprise she not only had rejected the offer, she turned around and attacked him! Well, what was he to do under those kinds of circumstances? Quite naturally he defended himself, knocking her out in as gentle and humane a manner as could be afforded.

How was he to know that she was the Queen of the Amazons? It wasn't like she advertised the fact in advance! The next thing he knew half the tribe was coming down on his neck and it was all he and Uncle Genma could do to hightail it out of there, leaving a very angry young Queen to recover her wits and discover him gone with the buck slung across his shoulders.

Funny how little things like that could change your life, but the next thing he knew the Queen had made a petition to the Goddess of the Witches, and she had visited both him and Genma at a crossroads, disguised as an ugly old hag, testing his character by asking him for a favor. Herakles quite naturally wanted to help the old biddy out, but Uncle Genma insisted that they didn't have time to do any charity work, which was when Hecate chose to reveal herself, transforming into a young and beautiful apparition whose terrible aspect gave merely a foretaste of the curse that she was next to lay upon him...

"You, young fool, have a good heart but next to no manners at all, yet this is hardly surprising considering the fool you have for a role model! You have trespassed on the land of the Amazons, stirred up a hornet's next among my spiritual daughters and have incurred the wrath of one whose pursuit of you will now be relentless! All this springs from your disregard of the proper rights and respect, which should be naturally accorded to all women...therefore I will curse you so that you will know what it is like to be spurned for being a member of the fair sex. Because you are the son of Lord Zeus, your curse shall be most fitting, as I gleam the inspiration from the mind and memories of your so-called trainer..."

And like that Herakles had found himself beset with the curse of Cross Gender Aqua-transformation, a fancy term for the living hell that now made Herakles turn into a younger version of his own mother, the Lady Alcamene! The Goddess had likened it to something called the "Spring of the Drowned Callisto," (whoever the Hades that was!) and said that Herakles would stay that way until he learned to properly respect women, though she was a little shy in laying out specifics as to what standards she would apply to acknowledging that he would have learned his lesson.

What Herakles had learned first hand was that being a woman in Achaen society was no festival picnic! Men would hit on her for her looks yet snub her for her opinions and generally treat her like she was a Slave if she was minding her own business, then turn around and call her an Amazon when she quite rightfully lodged a protest to their treatment with her fists. Real Amazons spurned her, Centaurs would make leering suggestions behind her back, children would hurl taunts and call her a Wild Woman while matrons would sneer down their Matrician noses and disdain to recognize her base existence.

In other words she was snubbed and despised by regular Greek society, whereas in her male aspect she was cheered and hailed as a hero. The irony was that Herakles would have sworn up and down that he had never treated any woman this badly in his life, a declaration that Hecate had scorned with a derisive snort, mentioning something about an incident in his childhood which would one day come back to haunt him.

That there was a ninety-nine percent likelihood that said incident had been caused by his "Uncle Genma" was only to be taken for granted, but now Herakles had more serious concerns on what to do about his curse and how it might affect her father's opinions towards him. This engagement to one of her sisters, for example...

All at once Herakles felt a pair of sinewy arms slide around her body with slender hands cupping her ample breasts while holding her fast in an embrace that brought her shoulder blades into contact with a pair of pointy nipples and the substantial padding that went with them.

"Well now," cooed a sultry feminine voice in her ear, "Where have you been hiding yourself, my little Nymphet?"

Herakles stiffened, instant panic transforming her features into a look of shock and disbelief. The only reason she did not immediately react in accordance to her training to break free of the other woman's grip was her surprise at feeling herself being groped and fondled by one of her aforementioned sisters, and that divine touch having such a soothing effect on her nerves that she instinctively relaxed a bit and settled into the embrace of the Goddess Artemis, mind temporarily shut down as her body instinctively reacted.

"Oh my...you're so tense," Artemis soothed, "Why not allow me to work away your tension, little Nymph? I'm an expert at helping to relieve stress from all things female..."

"Guh...ah...excuse me?" Herakles began to shake off her surprise as she tried to struggle free from the grip of the goddess.

"Hmmm...nice body," Artemis cooed, "How very athletic...and strong besides! I think you and I could be very good friends...yes indeed..."

"But..." Herakles tried to explain herself, only to gasp anew as one hand made its way down her belly to lightly caress the area just above her thighs, which once again derailed her verbal protests.

"Why are you struggling against me?" Artemis cooed as she nuzzled the back of Herakles's neck with her lips, "I won't hurt you...much. In fact, in another moment I'll make everything feel all better..."

"So glad to see you enjoying yourself, Step-daughter."

Artemis froze in the act of applying fingers to the loins of her prospective conquest, frowned with her lips in mid-nuzzle, then she glared off to one side and growled acidly, "What do you want, Hera?"

"H-Hera?" Herakles gasped, her mind instantly turning away from the prospective probing of her loins.

Much to her amazement she saw the Matron standing there to one side in a Peacock-styled dress looking serene and ever-so-regal, like a Queen paying respects to a member of her court. Brown haired streaked with flecks of burnished gold gave her a curiously exotic appearance that added to her ageless beauty in ways that were quite indefinable. Only her slate grey eyes gave a hint to the vast age and awesome majesty of the ruling Queen of Olympus, eyes quirked with aspects of cruelty and amusement as she took in the sight of Artemis's latest intended seduction.

"So sorry if I'm spoiling your fun, Step-child," the Goddess of Marriage, Childbearing and Patrimonial Suits verbally replied, "But I felt compelled to inform you that one of your temples is being petitioned for a divine audience. My granddaughter, your niece, Queen Hippolyta-remember her?-is asking that you hear of her complaint of an injustice rendered against her personally and its effect upon Amazon society itself..."

"Bloody hell!" Artemis snapped, "What does she want this time? I swear, she ought to take it out on Ares or Aphrodite instead of me...they're her parents after all! What does she expect me to do about it?"

"You could at least hear her prayers and petition before you reject them our of hand, Child," Hera said with serene contentment, "After all, you are the favored patron of the Amazons, are you not?"

"Now?" Artemis felt reluctant to let go of the blonde in her arms, "But can't you see I'm working?"

"Would you like for me to inform your father that you no longer wish to serve as a Patron to Hippolyta and her people?"

Artemis grumbled sourly as she reluctantly let Herakles go, then stormed out of the pool with a surly, "I swear by Selene that if it's another one of her broken romances with one of her Amazon sisters...what the bloody hell does she take me for, a lonely hearts column? Aphrodite's going to owe me for this one big time..."

Herakles watched in awe as the silver-haired Moon goddess donned her chiton then vanish into a hail of moon dust. She then reluctantly turned her focus to a smirking Hera and said, "Um...thanks..."

"Oh, don't thank me for your rescue just yet, young...lady," Hera smiled in a way that raised the hackles on the back of Herakles's neck, "I only wanted a chance to talk with you for a bit, and getting rid of my step-daughter, at least for the moment, works nicely to my advantage."

"Huh?" Herakles sank down into the pool up to her neck, not liking at all the way the Queen of Heaven was eyeing her, like road kill.

"You see," Hera resumed, "I've recently had a little chat with Hecate...charming lady, one of the last of the Old Titans who converted to God status when the rest of her crowd was sent to Tartarus, on account of her taking sides with us over that long-ago family quarrel. Interesting the sort of rumors one picks up if they keep their ear to the ground, as it were, especially when the news proves to be as amusing as what I heard, about the get of one of my husband's numerous infidelities and what Hecate did to punish him for his transgressions..."

"What do you want, Lady?" Herakles demanded in a wary tone, having little love for verbal games and knowing implicitly that there was nothing to be gained by deception.

"What do I want?" Hera acted mildly surprised by the question, though her smile never wavered, "My dear deluded Step...daughter," she let the slight hesitation convey her actual meaning, "If you only knew the full extent of what I want you would be chilled beyond imagination."

"Okay," Herakles amended, "So, what do you want with me?"

"At the moment...nothing," Hera replied, "My husband has forbidden me from taking any direct action against you. However, as the Fates have been kind enough to oversee, I need not extend myself at all to work you mischief. Indeed, you've done a fine enough job painting yourself into this corner, and now I eagerly wait to see what comes of it when your father discovers that his so-called Pride and Joy is not the man he thinks you are. Indeed, I most look forward to studying his reactions when he gets a look at the other side of you and learns the truth about what made you the woman you are today...and-best of all-my hands are clean on this matter."

"But you're not going to tell him yourself?" Herakles asked in lingering suspicion.

"Why should I risk antagonizing him?" Hera countered, "He expects me to plot against you, the latest of his seemingly endless stream of illicit progeny conceived behind my back, in direct violation of the vows we once made to one another."

"Hey, it's not my fault!" Herakles protested.

"No, but you benefit from having his divine blood in your veins," Hera's tone became wrathful, "Do you have any idea how humiliating your very existence is to me? What a slap and an insult you are to me and what I represent? It's because of spawn such as you that I'm mocked and ridiculed behind my back and called names by various mortals...well...soon you will no more provide a problem for me when Zeus himself strikes you down for being an embarrassment to his pride as a father!"

"Lady, you're sick," Herakles murmured in disgust.

"Am I now?" Hera bridsed, "What do you really know about the travails of being a woman? You haven't even tasted a mere fraction of what I learned long ago, when I was young and foolish and believed the lies of my brother-turned-husband. Did you know that women once had a much higher place in society back in the days of the Old Titans?"

"Uh...not really," Herakles replied, "I'm not too big on pre-recorded history..."

"Long ago there was my grandmother, Queen Gaea," Hera responded, "The Earth Mother, who was ancient and revered by one and all...until she foolishly suborned herself by consenting to marry my grandfather, Lord Uranus. Much to her dismay, Uranus proved to be a cruel and calculating tyrant who chose to enslave his own monstrous children, even the handsome ones, like his oldest son, Lord Chronos. Gaea eventually tired of this petty cruelty and freed her children from Tartarus so that they might avenge their own wrongs and reestablish a society of justice and order, and Chronos, my father, proved a capable administrator...only he proved most unwise when he chose to follow his father's example and imprison his own children, which sparked the revolt that my husband and I led against the rule of the Titans. But once Zeus was in power did he remember to keep his campaign promises? Obviously not, if you judge the current status of women in the lands of the Achaens..."

"Yeah, but none of that's my doing," Herakles insisted, "Why take it out on me? I never imposed myself on any women."

"Oh no?" Hera scoffed, "Well, we will see whether or not that is true, my dear, when Zeus reconvenes the Marital ceremony and selects you as the husband to one of his daughters. I very much look forward to seeing you eat crow over those words...Step-daughter."

And with that her form shimmered and became that of a Peacock, who then spread her wings and took off in a brilliant hail of plumage.

"Just swell," Herakles grumbled as she waded out of the pool and retrieved her own garments, "So now she knows about my problem...lovely..."

She knew that she would have to confront her father on this subject very shortly, but she wanted it to be after he had regained her male status so as not to seem like a total freak in the eyes of her own family. The only problem was that she had absolutely no idea about where one went to find hot water in the palace, and so she decided to set off in hopes of finding someone who could help her out without asking too many nosy questions.

Only how did you do that in a place like Olympus?

Her divine kinfolk had their peculiar ways of doing business, very different from the way mortals operated, but she figured they had to have a place to prepare their meals at banquets, unless they just conjured food up out of nothing, and what little experience she had around wizards suggested that this was unlikely. It stood to reason that where there was food there had to be fire, and where there was fire there was bound to be boiling water, and all she had to do was follow her nose to find the scent that seemed particularly appetizing.

Of course that scent did not carry him in a straight line, but like any good hunter she knew how to follow a trail through uncertain terrain, and so she wended his way through the oddly constructed architecture of the place, which was built to a scale that clearly was intended for giants. She had been around enough to place the style as proto-Cretan, even if she had never been to the main island of the late Cretan Empire (now sadly in decline after that unfortunate incident concerning a volcano wiping out their colony on Thera). So it was that Herakles found herself in a part of the complex that looked most unlike a kitchen. In fact the abundance of scrolls and parchment piled high everywhere suggested more of a library, and as Herakles made her way through this disorganized labyrinth she wondered privately what kind of a person would be doing so much reading.

"Hello, may I help you?"

Herakles froze in place upon hearing that lightly voiced question, and as she turned to determine the source she caught a glimpse of someone reclined on a divan with a scroll propped up beside her, not even bothering to look up as Herakles took in her sister Athena with a somewhat nervous expression.

The Goddess of Wisdom and Battles was only wearing a light chiton of some strangely near-translucent material and was presently showing off a generous portion of her anatomy to full view, though from the way she was posed it seemed that she was more relaxed than provocative. If anything she had on a slightly bored expression, which seemed to suggest that she was in need of a diversion.

"Oh...sorry," Herakles stammered out, "I got lost...I was looking for the kitchen..."

"Follow your nose," Athena replied, still not looking up, "The scent of ambrosia ought to be distinctive."

"Ah...right," Herakles replied, "I was doing just that...ambrosia, you say? Uh well...it kind of led me through here..."

"That's because Hebe's kitchen is two temples down the way from mine, next to Aunt Hestia's Hearth, Spa and Jacuzzi..."

"Oh...right," Herakles blinked then asked, "What's a Jacuzzi?"

"Something the mortals won't invent for a few more centuries or so," Athena explained, "Brother Hephaestus came up with the idea after complaining about cold baths..."

"You mean it's a warm bath?" Herakles blinked, astounded at the novelty of the concept.

"Brother Heph thinks it will catch on with the upper nobility down below once the knowledge becomes more common," Athena finally deigned to look up, then paused to take a more thorough study of the blonde stranger in her midst, "How odd...I don't believe I've seen you around here before. You have the scent of an Immortal..."

"Ah...well...I'm new," Herakles nervously admitted, "Just got here today, still don't know my way around, you know how it is..."

"Indeed?" the goddess languidly straightened up on her divan then fluidly stood to her full height without taking her eyes off the newcomer, "And by what name are you known?"

"Ah..." Herakles knew using her real name would be a bad thing, but lying to a Goddess was not exactly a smart career move. Fortunately she had suffered under her curse long enough to come up with a good failsafe, a response that-while technically correct-was just enough different from her common name to fool many people whom she had encountered, "Alcides...at least...that's the name my mother gave me..."

"Alcides?" Athena pondered this, "A modification of Alceus?"

"That was my grandfather," Herakles truthfully answered.

"Curious...the name conjures to mind the word for Strength," Athena pondered, looking the stranger up and down before concluding, "You do appear to fit that description...nice abs, fine gluterals, excellent sinew, good definition...on the whole I'd classify you as a near perfect specimen of semi-divine human perfection."

"Uh...thanks," Herakles replied, "The same to you...Goddess."

"Athena will do," the Goddess replied, "We don't stand much on ceremony around here, it would tend to get in the way of accomplishing any useful business. So...Alcides, what business brings you to Mount Olympus?"

"Oh...I'm just here to visit with my father," Herakles admitted, "I came with my Uncle, but he's kind of gone off on his own, and with the size of this mountain..."

"Yes, it must be very confusing on your first time," Athena remarked, smiling a bit before adding, "I sense a kinship with you, so you are doubtlessly a relative. I wish I had time to research which one, but with our confusing genealogy, and the way my brothers spread it around, I'm afraid I can't quite place you."

"Um...that's all right," Herakles replied, "I'm sure we'll get to know each other better once I've had time to learn my way around here and settle down..."

"Settle down, eh?" now Athena looked positively intrigued, "You have made arrangements?"

"Um...not yet," Herakles admitted.

"Well, Alcides," the Goddess smiled, "One word of advice for you to help you get started...don't let anyone tell you what to do, especially none of my brothers. Oh, they'll try and court you, ply you with mead, song and poetry, regale you with their magnificent feats and divine glory, but don't get taken in by their deceptions. The lot of them are just drunken louts with no manners whatsoever, not even the refinement you'd expect of Gods. And especially don't let yourself get talked into attending one of sister Aphrodite's wild parties...you'll find yourself in the middle of an orgy faster than you could spell the word 'Condom.'"

"Condom?" Herakles blinked, "What's that?"

"Another bright idea that Brother Heph hasn't quite worked the bugs out of just yet," Athena replied, "So far he's been experimenting with sheep's bladder, but until they come up with a substance that can help the boys keep it in so they don't wind up overrunning this place with their progeny, I'd just stick to the old method of kicking them between the knees so they get the hint and back off for a while. Works great for me, and I'm still a virgin."

"You...what?" Herakles did not know whether to be appalled, to cross her legs in sympathy, or to be amazed at that declaration, "You mean...?"

"Well, technically the word does not imply a woman who has never had sex, which is a quite common misperception," Athena amended, "Virginity is a state of being that many aspire to achieve, but few have the discipline to attain. Naturally, being an Immortal, I've had my time to...experiment a bit...but I've mostly been saving myself for someone who might be worthy of my favors. I just don't feel inclined to go from one meaningless relationship right after another like most of the rest of my kinfolk...which reminds me...take special care to keep your distance from my two most amorous siblings, Artemis and Apollo."

"Uh...you don't say?" Herakles tried to sound nonchalant without sweating as memories of the Silver haired Siren floated unbidden in her mind, along with thoughts of the near-molestation that she had narrowly escaped by the "grace" of Hera."

"Apollo's a rake, there's no gentle way of putting it," Athena elaborated, "He takes after Daddy in that way...anything with two or more legs that catches his fancy, Women, Boys, Young Men, sometimes even the odd Sheep..."

"Uh...right," Herakles fought off the urge to swallow.

"But he's practically an Egyptian gentleman when you compare him to his twin sister," Athena rolled her eyes, "The main difference between them being that Artemis is strictly girl-oriented these days. You can blame that on Daddy, of course...back when she was a little girl, Zeus offered to give her anything she wanted for a birthday present, and Arty had to go and ask for eternal Virginity...don't ask me why she thought it was a great deal back then. The problem is, to Daddy, that meant no sex with men, and he worked his spell with that concept in mind, but he forgot to expand the definition to include all types, so instead she wound up with a severe case of female-exclusive Nymphomania...and she's bedded enough Nymphs to prove the point."

"Oh," Herakles replied, then paused as curiosity got the better of her judgement, "And...have you ever...?"

"I told you, I've done my share of experimentation," Athena smiled, "But don't worry, I'm not about to jump you. I see by your reaction that you've already met Artemis, but somehow you got away with your hymen intact. Congratulations."

"Er...thanks," Herakles turned his focus away from the extremely attractive display that was her sister and instead picked up one of the parchment sheafs that were near to hand, studying the lettering before saying, "Um...is this Aetolian? I'm afraid I can only read Doric script..."

"You can read?" the transformation in the expression of the Goddess was astonishing, for her eyes suddenly got wide as she went from sly to genuine amazement.

"Ah...a little," Herakles replied, "My mother taught me the basic alphabet, but...well...I haven't had a lot of time to practice..."

"Incredible," Athena reacted, "I thought only the nobility and their court scribes ever learned how to read...and a few traders and merchants. Most common folk never bother learning even how to spell their own name, and I know most of my brothers wouldn't even admit to being literate if they were being tortured down in Tartarus."

"Really?" Herakles replied, "I would have thought Gods would know everything..."

"You would think that, but it shows how little you know about Gods," Athena sniffed, "Hermes is an exception, of course, but he's a messenger, and the written word often figures into his job profile. Most Gods only bother to learn what's relevant to their sphere of influence...we're specialists mostly, but I'm more of a generalist when it comes to intellectual pursuits."

"Really?" Herakles remarked, finding he rather liked listening to his sister's explanations, even if he didn't pick up on every word that crossed her lips.

"For example," Athena elaborated, "If you were to ask Daddy about the weather, he could tell you volumes about the flow of currents and how they can create clouds or generate thunder. My Step-mother, Hera, is a whiz when it comes to matters of the household, such as the effective running of a house, while brother Ares knows practically every battlefield strategy that has ever been devised, and Aphrodite knows positions that won't even get written down when some mortal creates the Kama Sutra."

"And what about you?" Herakles asked, "I mean...Wisdom and Battle?"

"Like I said, I tend to generalize a lot," Athena smiled, suddenly standing very close beside Herakles without having seemed to move at all as she looked up into the eyes of her brother-turned sister, "Wisdom needs Strength in order to be effective...and I'm sort of a combination of Jock and Nerd, a fine balance to strike, I know, but I've always been very good at striking the right balance."

"Um...well...ah..." Herakles started to feel nervous once again and instinctively backed away, saying, "Well...thanks for telling me all this, Goddess...I mean...Athena...but if you don't mind, I need to go take a bath...a hot bath...I mean...not a cold one...later!"

Athena blinked her divine eyes as she watched the tall blonde edge away towards the opposite exit, then leave in great haste, which prompted her to say, "How odd...and yet...how intriguing..."

Herakles was perspiring heartily as she beat a hasty exit and went in the general direction that she had been given. Now she could detect the rising hint of mineral steam mingled with something delicious on the breeze that did indeed seem to promise a sweet and invigorating flavor, which meant that she was getting that much closer to her chosen destination. Sure enough the building that she determined was the source of the rising mists of warm, humid air did indeed seem like a fancy public bath house-combination spa and gymnasium, and as Herakles slipped unnoticed into this building she was rewarded with the sight that promise an immanent restoration of her proper gender.

Of course, before she could jump into the steaming hot baths, he saw a figure arising from the waters who caused her to halt in place and stare in mingled dismay and amazement, for it was none other than the Goddess Hebe whom she saw reaching for a towel to wrap around her magnificently long and lithe body.

"Oh," she paused to look up, "Who is there?"

"Ah," Herakles edged forward and said, "I'm...Alcides...I'm new around here..."

"Oh," the Goddess seemed to take that in stride, but then surprised Herakles by saying, "Well then, why don't we start over there. I assume you know how to give a good massage, because I'm much too delicate for that Rolfing business which brother Ares insists is good for the spine and all that..."

"Uh...massage?" Herakles asked with a dumbfounded expression.

"Yes," Hebe replied as she laid herself out on a bench after removing her towel and using it for padding against the cool marble surface, "You can start anywhere you like, I won't mind. I do hope you are good at this, because usually I have to ask one of my sisters, and that can be such a bother with Aphrodite and Artemis..."

"Right," Herakles decided that explaining that she was not hired help would not be prudent, but the idea of actually laying hands on the body of a Goddess...

...And her sister at that!

Herakles almost balked, but since that would give the game away, she decided to put some of her training in Touch-Point therapy... what his Uncle referred to as "Shiatsu" in his barbarian language, and treated the Goddess as professionally and as delicately as could be managed...even as his hands began to rove over her lithe body, feeling the warmth and texture of his skin and the subtle hint of musculature beneath the softness of her exterior. The more Herakles applied his learning, the easier it became, so when she started at the middle and worked his way down the length of her very long legs, Hebe began to sigh and relax, complimenting her for having "good hands," even as Herakles worked the tension from her body and discovered how responsive her sister could be when lightly caressed in certain nerve areas, working those muscles in a way that caused her to further relax and even moan a little from the sensual pleasure of it all and...

Herakles almost pulled back as she heard Hebe gasp, "Ooooohhh...please, yes...don't stop yet...that is sooooo good..."

(What the heck am I doing?) Herakles mentally thought to herself, realizing that she had been getting so much into the act of pleasuring the Goddess that he was starting to stimulate in her an obviously sexual reaction. As inexperienced in such matters as she was, Herakles had a very good idea where this would be headed if she kept it up that way, and though Hebe might appreciate it for now, when she discovered the truth about her "Masseuse," there was bound to be a rather unpleasant accounting!

So instead Herakles shifted her massage technique to slow it down slightly, cooling down some of the Goddess's budding intensity so that she was able to relax again, murmuring slight disappointment that things did not seem to be progressing in the direction which they had formerly been heading. Instead Herakles worked her way down one of those lean legs and lifted it so that she could apply selected pressure to one foot, then the other, then gradually worked her way back up again until she was easing the buttox of the Goddess...then-  
just as this was starting to produce a peculiar reaction in Herakles's own body-  
-she moved her hands up Hebe's spine and wound up giving her back and shoulders a massage to remember. She lightly caressed the back of Hebe's neck and her temples, soothing the Goddess even further as her sister sighed appreciatively, having clearly enjoyed the skin which Herakles was displaying.

But then Hebe surprised Herakles by turning over and laying down again on her back, face upward, chest and body exposed to full glorious view, at which point Herakles nearly swallowed her tongue, for the Goddess of Eternal Youth and Beauty well lived up to her reputation, with round, firm breasts that were full yet still quite perky.

"What are you waiting for?" Hebe asked as she looked upward, "By all means, please continue."

Herakles gulped like a trapped animal, but had no recourse but to do as she was instructed, laying hands on shoulders and working them slowly down until-with only a slight token of reluctance on her part-she worked up the courage to actually fondle those breasts that were captivating her attention. As she worked them gently over, Herakles marveled at how soft and sensitive they were...much like the of her own cursed body, and yet with a stiffening erectness that caused Hebe's knobby little nipples to go hard like small almonds. Even lightly caressing them between thumb and forefinger was enough to make Hebe moan in even more intense appreciation, before Herakles forced herself to let those bosomy cherries go so that she could roam her hands further down the length of her sister's perfect body...

"Hey Sis, who's the new talent?"

Herakles instinctively let Hebe go as she whirled about in dismay upon hearing that sultry and insinuating question. Aphrodite stood there only a few paces away looking mildly curious as Herakles gawked back, seeing the Goddess of Love and Sex standing there wearing nothing but a towel around her body...which Herakles judged to be a good thing because she was pretty sure that the sight of this sister in the nude would be enough to strike her blind on the spot.

"Ah, nothing," Herakles nervously said, even though the question had not been asked about just what she had been doing to Hebe immediately prior to the interruption, "Ah...I'm Alcmene, I'm new here, and the Goddess asked me to give her a backrub..."

"Looks to me like that wasn't the only thing you were rubbing like a lamp," Aphrodite smirked in her most insinuating manner.

"Sister," Hebe chided as she reluctantly sat up on her bench, "I am not yet a married woman, but I am hardly the same as Artemis. Alcmene here was kind enough to give me a very good massage, and I heartily recommend it as I felt all tension just flowing from my body..."

"Oh yeah?" Aphrodite leered at her sister's breasts, "Looks to me like you've still got a lot of tension in your upper body...maybe you ought to have her massage you some more there...or, better yet, why don't you give me a turn. I'd love to have a really good backrub, especially if it can make even a prude like you blush like a pomegranate."

Herakles turned to look and-sure enough-the goddess of Youth was indeed blushing a slight crimson. Oddly enough that made her seem even more beautiful than the mere fact of her nudity, and with that thought it was Herakles's turn to begin blushing a deeper crimson.

"Heh, that's what I thought," Aphrodite grinned, "Well, put me down for an appointment, but right now we need to get back to see Daddy. The time's almost up and we're gonna find out which one of us winds up marrying our little brother."

"Oh my, you're quite right," Hebe replied, "I'd entirely forgotten...the time just seemed to slip away, but once I was finished brewing up enough ambrosia for the next festival...I simply thought to make myself fresh for when our brother must choose which of us he will marry."

"This...brother of yours," Herakles spoke up out of curiosity, "He must be quite a fellow if you would go to all this trouble?"

"Hey, are you kidding?" Aphrodite grinned, "He's a fox...no-strike that! He's more like the fox let loose in the Henhouse! A real stud through and through, and-best of all-he's still single...at least for a few more minutes."

"Then we had better hurry and get back to father," Hebe remarked with a gentle smile, "Or father may decide the matter for us."

"Yeah, and I didn't like the way 'Thena was eyeing him either," Aphrodite remarked, "I can't remember the last time I ever saw her drool over anything that wasn't old, moldy or dusty. I think our Nerdy sister might have just discovered her libido."

With that the two goddesses took their leave of the Sauna, each vanishing so swiftly that Herakles could hardly blink her eyes before finding them absent. She stood around marveling over that for several more precious seconds before it belatedly occurred to her that she needed to move if she was going to make it on time herself to the open forum throne area of her father.

With a source of hot water readily at hand she wasted little time crossing the space between her and it, but just as she was about to jump in and change back to her normal sex, a roe deer came trotting into the room, shifted form back into human mode, then smiled predatorily, seeing her intended prey alone and all defenseless.

"Now to pick up where we left off before that rude interruption," she leered as she vaulted at Herakles's back and wrapped her arms around her chest, just as the both of them went landing in the water.

"Awk!" Herakles cried, even as his form filled out and returned to his normal gender.

"Now I have...you?" Artemis reacted, feeling the difference at once as the girl she had been intending to fondle became the thing she most detested...a MAN! And as they both turned around to face one another, Goddess to Demigod, the singular fact of her transformation into a guy-and her BROTHER no less-  
was more than enough to stun her into speechlessness, one full moment before the Goddess of the Hunt jumped back away from him and started screaming...

"GENMA, YOU WORTHLESS SPAWN OF A HYDRA! HOW DARE YOU LET MY SON GET CURSED ON YOUR WATCH!" Zeus thundered as he shook the Satyr in both mammoth hands until the latter's teeth began to chatter.

"Calm down, Daddy," Aphrodite urged, "You're going to hurt that demi-mortal if you keep that up. Remember what Asclepius told you about your blood pressure?"

"Asclepius be damned!" Zeus growled as he glared murderously at his betrayer, "I told you to raise my son to be a man...how could you let that Witch, Hecate, cast a curse like this on my son? I should have known I could never trust such an important task to a worthless whelm like you...Human!"

Genma cringed in the hands of the red-bearded God, terror plain in his expression from the moment he had been caught trying to sneak away with the silverware, and now with the boy's dark secret at long last revealed, he was certain it was all over. Only a minor miracle could possibly save him from incineration!

"I cannot believe that our brother is also our sister," Athena marveled, "I was completely fooled, even when I stood but mere cubits away from you, Brother. I should have suspected from your name...but to think that there could be such a complete transformation..."

"Oh my," Hebe remarked, "This certainly disappointing..."

"You're disappointed?" Artemis glared balefully at their brother, "You could have given me some kind of sign telling me what you were, you...you...whatever you are!"

"Hey, you think I wanted to fool you guys?" Herakles protested, having been turned back into a girl when her father had demanded a demonstration, "And it's not like anyone would have heard me if I'd tried to explain it."

"A good point," Hermes remarked, "I saw it with my own eyes and even then I didn't believe it."

"This is intolerable!" Zeus thundered, "My son is a GIRL! How could this have happened? Hecate must be made to pay for this outrage! She must lift the curse off my son at once..."

"Unfortunately, Husband," Hera smiled serenely, "You know that it is next to impossible to change her mind when she is like this. The Witch Queen is ancient and powerful, and she goes her own way, walking the path of mystery and enigma. The last thing I am sure that she would have a mind to do would be to lift the curse before young Alcides has learned the lesson for which it was intended."

Herakles winced upon hearing her birth name being used so mockingly by the Queen of Heaven, but as Hera was-shockingly enough-her only real defender at the moment, she was forced to abide the Goddess's snide taunting in the hopes that it would head off a larger crisis brewing around her father.

"I told you it was a mistake to let this fool to mix his blood with the pure strains of Olympus," Ares noted with sour satisfaction, "Maybe now someone around here will have the wit to listen."

"Now wait just a damned candlewick!" Herakles protested, "Hecate said she put this thing on me to teach me a lesson about respecting women, but I can still get it taken off if I convince the old Hag that I'm not such an unbearable ogre, right?"

"Hey, that's right," Zeus suddenly calmed down, letting Genma go before the Martial Artist turned Satyr could completely pass out from lack of Oxygen, "You may have a point there, Boy...maybe I can convince the old biddy to reconsider her enchantment. After all, it's not as if I haven't charmed my way with her a time or two in the past..."

Hera frowned, her satisfaction that Herakles was about to be punished spoiled by a flick of jealousy that shone within her slate colored eyes, "Husband..." she said archly, "You know that she is as ephemeral as night and just as impenetrable to understanding. Do you think that the Mistress of Mysteries can be so easily persuaded to lift her curse just because you drop a few honeyed words into her ear? Don't you understand at all the point that she is attempting to make here?"

"As a matter of fact, I don't expect any such miracles to happen this millennium," Hecate herself replied as the Goddess manifested in the room with a customary flash of smoke and congealing knight, and then she stood before them in her Young aspect, ageless in beauty and terrible in aspect, dressed all in a long dark gown low cut with ample cleavage, her hair a radiant shower of ebony, star-filled like the evening.

"Good timing," Hermes remarked off-handedly.

"You think so?" Athena sniffed, "I always thought she had a bit too much of a flare for the dramatic..."

"Hecate," Zeus suddenly turned on the charm and was all smiles and masculine presence, "How nice of you to grace us with your presence. We were just discussing the little jest you had with my son, a good leg-puller if I do say so. Reminds me of the old days when you were quite the prankster, used to knock 'em dead at parties, including Hades, the old Stiff..."

"Yes," Hecate observed with sultry indifference, "And I seem to recall you doing more than your share of mischief making at Office parties, such as that time you gave that hot foot to the Indian God, Indra..."

"Oh that," Zeus waved his hand dismissively, "That was nothing, just a bit of School Boy tomfoolery...but you...you were quite the mistress at party gags and knee-slapping parlor tricks..."

"Save it," Hecate cut short his feigned humor, "Your charms won't work this time, Lord Zeus. I won't remove the curse even on your say so."

Zeus sobered up immediately and growled, "Listen you old Chicken-Bone peddler..."

"I am, however," Hecate continued, "Prepared to remove it...under certain conditions."

That got everyone's attention, none more than Herakles himself, "You will? Uh...what conditions?"

"A list of options that I've come to present to you," the Witch Goddess smiled in a way that did not look wholesome, "It will be up to your choice, Lad, which option best suits your liking."

"Options?" Zeus got a speculative look, "What options?"

"First off," Hecate replied, "I believe that you convened this meeting of the family for two reasons...the first to openly acknowledge your son and to proclaim him as a prince of Olympus, which you have already done...but the second reason is that you wish to choose a bride for the youth from among your lovely daughters."

"Huh?" Herakles blanched, "You don't mean...?"

"You want to marry my son?" Zeus asked, sounding as though the matter were not entirely beyond consideration.

Herakles winced, for though the Goddess of the Mysteries was presently in her fair and nubile aspect, his memory was still too fresh with recalling the Crone who had cursed him, the other face of the Triune Witch Queen, who was both maid, Matron and hag in all three of her aspects. To marry one was to be bound to the others, and of a certainty this would present...complications to his already bewildering love life.

But-much to his relief and dismay-Hecate just deepened her smile and said, "No...although I admit that the lad has his charms...in both of his or her aspects...the one whom I had in mind for him is another Demi-Immortal, one of my charges who is also the ruling Queen of the Amazons. I took the liberty of bringing her here with her sisters so that she might plead her case directly."

"What?" Ares blinked in dismay, "You mean...?"

"Yes she does, Father," a tall and powerfully built woman strode forward, wearing a leather cuirass with bronzed helmet under her arm, looking very much like a high plains nomadic horsewoman from the distant northern steps for all that she had fancy ornamentation that proclaimed her as royalty, "I have returned to Mount Olympus to plead my case on behalf of my people."

"Huh?" Herakles blinked as he took in the dark haired beauty, "You?"

"Yes, I...Hippolyta," she proudly proclaimed, "Daughter of Ares and Aphrodite, Queen of the Renunciates of the Northern Plains and Mistress of Battles. And with me are my sisters, Oresties, Melanippe, Antiope and Penthesilea, each representing one of the five tribes that comprise the Amazon Nation."

Herakles took stock of the four warrior women who appeared flanking their dark-  
haired Queen, each a stunning beauty in her own right yet ranging the spectrum of appearance and hair coloration. Every one of them looked the part of a formidable man-hater, and all five of these women seemed singularly determined to make an issue over something, though the exact nature and cause for their righteous anger was difficult to determine.

"Now that we've made formal introductions," Hecate mused, "Allow me to present their case for declaring that Herakles must become Queen Hippolyta's husband.

"Husband?" Herakles squeaked, yet because she was still in female aspect this only raised a few curious glances in her direction from Hippolyta and her warrior sisters.

"You...want to claim my son as your husband?" Zeus asked with an incredulous expression.

"Correction, Grandfather," Hippolyta replied, "I must declare that Herakles is already my lawful husband...as according to the laws of the Amazon people, which obligate me to claim the man who has fairly defeated me in battle."

"SAY WHAT?" Herakles reacted.

"Wait a moment here," Hermes spoke up, "Did you just say...that he defeated you in battle?"

"Yes," Hippolyta replied, "We met by accident, when he was poaching on Amazon lands and dared attempt to claim a deer which I had brought low with my arrow. He disputed my claim and we fought, and to my amazement I was brought low. I knew when I recovered that I was duty bound by our laws to make this Herakles into my husband and official royal Consort, and it was my petition to the Goddess that brought us here to lay our claims before you, Grandfather."

"Father, this is absurd!" Ares protested, "Hippolyta may be my oldest daughter, but she was exiled to Earth centuries ago for her disobedience..."

"Disobedience, Father?" Hippolyta asked, "Because my sisters and I could not stand to hold back while you and your bullies rampage around the countryside victimizing women?"

"Just the same, child," Hera spoke up with a tone of authority, "You chose to go to those barbarian lands and found a colony of Renunciates, which you and your sisters have since built up into a great nation. No one forced you to make these decisions, or to embrace a semi-mortal status..."

"That may be so, Grandmother," Hippolyta replied, "But we have never forgotten our Olympian roots, and we continue to honor and preserve the traditions of Aetolian society as they flourished during the days of Cretan Glory."

"Even so, Niece," Athena spoke up, "Just because our brother accidentally defeated you is no reason for you to wish to obligate him into marriage..."

"Yeah," Aphrodite seconded, for once actually agreeing with her Nerdy half-  
sister, "And where do you get off trying to hog him as your husband anyway? You guys don't even have husbands for most of the year!"

"It is true that we live apart from our men and only choose to sleep with them during the mating season, Mother," Hippolyta replied, "But certain exceptions have been made when a strong man has proven himself worthy to be the mate of an Amazon, and-contrary to foul rumor and myth-we do treat our men with respect and deep affection. We don't kill or cripple them, just so long as they choose to comply with the laws of our people."

"But you're saying if a guy beats you up you have to marry him?" Artemis scoffed, "What kind of genius thought a thing like that up anyway?"

"As a matter of fact," Hecate smiled as she kept her focus upon Zeus, "You were the one who created the law, Lord Zeus, don't you remember?"

"I did?" Zeus blinked in evident amazement.

"That's right, Dad," Hermes winced, "You did, I remember when you said it. It was right when you first heard about the Amazon colony and their insistence on having women be in superior positions to men. You said, and I quote, 'If that's the way they want to live, fine, but if one of them loses a fight to a man, then she has to take that boy on as her husband!' End quote."

"I remember now," Athena blinked her eyes, "It was after you got into an argument with Hera over the ability of women to live apart from men...it was your condition for allowing them to establish their colony in the first place and...oh my..."

"Uh...oh," Zeus said sheepishly, "Guess I did say that...funny, I'd forgotten..."

"Oh great," Aphrodite winced, "Way to go, Daddy."

"Hey, wait!" Herakles spoke up, "Don't I have any say in this?"

"Why would you have a say in anything?" Hippolyta frowned as she stared at the sex-changed man whom she unknowingly had claimed for a "husband," "Who are you, and what business do you have here in this Council?"

"Hah?" Herakles winced, momentarily forgetting why she could not be recognized in her current body.

"Never mind that now," Athena said dismissively, "The point is...if you marry brother Herakles, then Hecate will consent to lift his curse."

"Eh?" Hippolyta frowned back then turned a questioning look towards Hecate, "What curse?"

"Hah, let him marry her," Artemis sniffed, "She'll keep him in his place so he doesn't go around confusing people who just want to be friendly.

"Count on it," Hippolyta smiled, "I'll keep him more than busy. No...enough of this...where is my rightful husband? Why is he not here to greet his Mistress?"

"Eeep," Herakles winced, hoping against hope that no one would give her away in her current form, and-of course, as she should have known by now-the Fates were far from done making sport with their favorite play toy...

Continued.

Comments/Criticisms/Grecian Formula 105: shadowmane

Will Herakles escape the trap that Hecate has created for him, will he-um-  
she be forced to play "Mister Mom" and keep house for the Queen of Themiscrya? Will Genma be able to squeak through this one alive and single? Will he ever get back to his own time and the family that love-uh-miss-er-do they really want him back? (Gee, that's a toughie!) Anyway, be here for the next exciting chapter: "Twelve Labors of Love," or "Life, Love and the Single Guy!" Be there!

X -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

If you wish to check out my other works, Please check out my Fanfiction webpage at: . All related chapters of this series can be found there along with my other works. 


	3. Chapter 3

Hercules 3

Hercules 1/2

"GENMA SAOTOME'S TIME AND SPACE MISADVENTURES!"

by Jim Robert Bader

(Inspired by the works of Takahashi &amp; Bullfinch with some thoughts and inspirations derived from the works of Donald J. Sobel)

The Third Chapter.

"Say what?" Hippolyta exclaimed in disbelief, "You've got to be kidding!"

"I'm afraid not," Athena replied, pointing at the statuesque blonde in the leather cuirass, "That is Herakles, the man you claim defeated you in combat."

"But she's a woman!" Hippolyta protested, scrutinizing the blonde in question, who tried to smile back, albeit with a very nervous expression.

"Aye," said her sister, Melanippe, in an appreciative voice, "And what a woman..."

Herakles just kept on smiling, though now the strain was a bit more telling.

"Obviously she's a woman right now," Aphrodite leered, "But sprinkle a little hot water over her and you get instant Beefcake! All muscle and very little fat, except where it counts."

"Is this a jest?" Hippolyta insisted, "Are you trying to tell me that I was defeated by a WOMAN? Do you have any idea what it means?"

"Amazon Law is very clear on what we do to women who have the gall to defeat an Amazon," Oresties said flatly, "Either she must be inducted into our tribe...or the Warrior defeated by her must demand a rematch...to the death this time."

"What?" Herakles stammered, "But that's not fair! What the Hades kind of law is that?"

"Rules set up to test the abilities of the Amazons, meant to insure that they are indeed the strongest of fighters," Athena grimly replied, "If a Man defeats them, then he must be a strong warrior, which means that he can father strong children, but if a Woman proves herself the equal to an Amazon, then she could ether make a great asset through adoption, or else she is a danger to tribal supremacy and must be terminated."

"But that means I lose either way!" Herakles protested.

"Yes," Ares said grimly, "On that I would agree with you...most unfair to a man, but this was hardly to my liking either."

"So tell me truly," Hippolyta turned towards the blonde and said, "Are you truly Herakles...or a woman named Alcides, as you were claiming a moment before this?"

"I'm Herakles," the blonde answered with some reluctance, "Sorry about this..."

Zeus heaved a sigh and said, "Hermes...fetch some hot water for your sister-  
UH-I mean my son..."

"No problem, Dad," Hermes disappeared from the spot where he had been standing, only to reappear a moment later with a scalding hot pot, which same he upended over Herakles, causing her body to change and fill out until she was restored to full masculine glory.

Hippolyta's eyes got very wide as she witnessed this and in a startled tone of voice she gasped, "But...how...?"

"The answer which you are seeking, Great Granddaughter, is very simple," Hecate replied, "When you called upon me to help you find the pair who had escaped your wrath, I chose to confront them and to test your prospective husband to determine what sort of man he was. As it turns out, I have done much scrying concerning this young demigod and his potential to be the mightiest hero of this or any subsequent age...and amazing my surprise upon discovering that he is a Dimensional Nexus, a focal point of realities, possessing the potential for great harm as well as for overall greatness..."

"Yes, get on with it," Zeus growled impatiently.

"...And, among the various things which I have discovered about him, I find it quite remarkable to say that he is a very different sort than his father," Hecate continued, "For one thing he is genuinely concerned about the rights of others...and the welfare of the mortals around whom he has spent the majority of his life..."

"Oh really?" Zeus frowned, then shrugged, "Well, a few more centuries of life experience ought to cure him of that..."

"That is what I fear," Hecate replied, "Your son has within him the potential to change the world into a better place. He could become a symbol for what one man might achieve within a lifetime, and a hope to those who presently cower in fear of those who are mightier than themselves..."

"He sounds like a potential troublemaker," Hera scowled in obvious disapproval.

"So, what is the problem, Witch Queen?" Athena asked, "Our Brother here sounds like quite the man..."

"Oh my," Hebe agreed, "He is very...Heroic...yes?"

"Not to mention real Hunky," Aphrodite all but drooled at the prospect.

"Are you three mentally deranged or something?" Artemis winced, "If this guy became a symbol of rebellion, then what's to keep Mortals from following him and thumbing their noses at us?"

"The fact that he is still deferential to the authority of the Gods," Hecate replied, turning back to Zeus, "In spite of everything, he still respects his father and honors what he and the rest of you Olympians stands for, a kind of Order that is formed from Chaos. That said, however, he also has within him the potential of turning out just like his father, which is a prospect which I find deeply disturbing."

"Huh?" Zeus frowned again, "What the Dios is wrong with that?"

"Do you want a short list, Husband?" Hera replied.

"Daddy...you really oughta look in the mirror sometime," Aphrodite sighed.

"No comment," Athena smiled serenely.

"I take the fifth," Hermes rolled his eyes towards the ceiling (it would have been the Heavens, except, of course, that he was already there).

"So...at least some of you here can see why I find the current direction of young Herakles's career to be of some concern to me and his possible impact upon the future," Hecate turned back to the youth in question, "For all his many admirable qualities, he has faults which could prove just as tiresome. For one thing, he is prideful and arrogant, often prone to rash decisions and many unwise, headstrong impulses. He is no common fool and is actually quite clever, and yet I see already within him the mark of many foolish and unthought out choices. Moreover, he has a temper that is quick to rise with only the slightest provocation..."

"What the Hades are you talking about?" Herakles snapped, "I don't have anything wrong with me! It's Pops here you oughta criticize if you wanna talk about personal failings!"

Genma appropriately cowered, though he was hoping that the others might politely forget about his existence, just long enough for him to find the exit.

"Indeed," Hecate smiled, "A good deal of what you are, both good and bad, comes from having Genma here as an example of what not to do. You have already seen the consequences of his sometimes foolish and rude behavior...but you lack the positive role models which might have steered you in a different direction. All the same...I have seen what your life might have been like without his influence...and...would you believe that you might be considerably worse off without him?"

"Huh?" Herakles blinked, "You've gotta be kidding!"

"Because of Genma you have learned to control your strength in order not to bring unintentional harm to others," Hecate replied, "He has taught you a rude form of chivalry that has stood you in good measure. Many times your anger might have caused you to lose control and lash out without thought of the consequences. Do you know that-in a different reality, another life which might have been-you would have already been judged guilty of several counts off unintentional murder?"

"W-What?" Herakles blanched, "M-Murder?"

"I don't mean killing in self-defense, mind you," Hecate clarified, "Or even Manslaughter by accident...rather I see in the path not taken that you would have killed a teacher who abused you and even become guilty of multiple counts of kinslaughter...the worst of all crimes in the eyes of the Heavens. Not all of these deaths would have been your fault, mind you, but you would have suffered grief and remorse unending and would thus have been compelled to seek ritual atonement..."

"You don't say?" Hera seemed intrigued at the prospect.

"My Boy would have done all that?" even Zeus sounded appalled at the prospect.

"But thanks to Genma, none of this has yet to happen," Hecate revealed, "Because of his influence it remains the road not taken."

Genma had to blink twice before he could comprehend the very novelty of the fact that someone actually appeared to be speaking positively in his favor!

"So," Zeus rumbled, "You mean to say that I was right to choose him for a trainer..."

"You could have done worse...much worse, believe me," Hecate replied, "But even so, your son is a roughened stone, not yet a polished diamond. He needs a strong influence in his life, one who could guide him on the proper path of a true hero..."

"Really?" Athena's eyes sparked with contemplation.

"You don't say?" Aphrodite mused.

"Oh my," Hebe also seemed to be thinking over the implications of this.

"Count me out of it," Artemis snorted, folding her arms and glaring crossly at her newfound and unwanted younger brother.

Herakles just sighed, "Why me?"

"Witch Queen," Hippolyta spoke up, "If it is true, as you say, that he is a hero who needs a positive influence in his life, then why should I not be the one to provide his council?"

The simultaneously murderous glares of certain Goddesses were instantly turned in her direction, including her own mother, Aphrodite.

"Indeed," Hecate mused, "You would all be excellent choices for young Herakles, which is why I am prepared to make my second offer to the lad. If you would abide by choosing one of them for your wife, and vow to heed her wishes in all things, to love and obey her without question, then...after a suitable amount of time has passed, I would be prepared to consider lifting your curse, if it is what you desire."

"Hah?" Herakles suddenly had the look of a deer caught in the lights of an onrushing chariot, and without turning around he felt the many speculative looks being turned in his direction.

Zeus, however, did not sound all that amused, "Are you saying that my boy has to chain himself like some chattel slave to the whims of some WOMAN?"

"What an excellent suggestion," Hera grinned, rather favoring the mental image of her Stepson on a leash, to which she turned a meaningful look at Zeus and said, "Wouldn't you agree...Husband?"

"Er...yes dear," the Lord of Olympus replied with a more sheepish expression.

"Grow a spine, Daddy," Herakles heard Athena murmuring under her breath.

"So, young Hero," Hecate addressed herself to Herakles directly, "Do you like my second offer? The first one still stands...accept Hippolyta as your bride and I will immediately relent on my curse. Accept one of these other ladies and as your wife and Mistress, and I'll give you time to prove that you have learned your lesson. If not...then I would consider extending to you a third possible option."

"What third option?" Herakles scowled, albeit like a drowning man who was seeking a life preserver.

"Prove to me that you are a different sort of man than your father," Hecate replied, "I will give you twelve tasks to perform, each one more difficult than the last, and...if you survive these challenges, and prove yourself a true hero, then...and only then...will I consent to lifting your curse altogether."

"Twelve challenges?" Herakles sniffed, "No sweat! I can do that..."

"Don't be so quick to snatch at the offer," Hecate waved a finger, "At least consider the first two clauses. Hippolyta is a strong girl who could bear you many sons and daughters, and while she does share with you a certain...rough edged charm...I think she would make for you a splendid companion...if you could curb your temper and learn to respect her as your Mistress."

"And what's the alternative?" Herakles replied, "Have my own sisters hate my guts for not choosing them for the rest of my life?"

"If not longer," Artemis sniffed in derision.

"A fair answer," Hecate smiled, "I knew you had wits about you. Indeed, that is the risk you would take in choosing one possible suitor over all others...and these Goddesses are not exactly famous for being all that forgiving of rejection."

"What do you mean?" Athena scowled, "I've never been rejected."

"Not exactly a common experience for me either, Sis," Aphrodite examined her nails with smug aloofness.

"Of course," Hecate resumed with a certain arched lilt in her voice, "In the old days, when Chronos ruled, it was possible for a man to take more than one wife, or a wife to take more than one husband, before the rule of Monogamy was imposed upon the people of Achea. Even so, this Aetolian custom is still celebrated in the hinterlands, and since the Boy is, technically speaking, a Prince, he ought to have the right to marry you all and share you as the women of his harem..."

"Not a chance," Hera scowled, "We're not Barbarians, like the Persians! One woman should be enough for any man, and he should be more than glad to have her favors."

"Oh yeah," Zeus grumbled under his breath, privately envying his Drinking buddies in foreign lands, who thought nothing about having multiple wives, both Mortals and Immortals, "That's just peachy..."

"What was that?" Hera's slate gray eyes gleamed dangerously.

"Uh, nothing dear!" Zeus raised his hands disarmingly, "I'm just agreeing with you, after all...one of you would be more than enough for any man..."

"Um...what's the catch?" Herakles privately whispered to Hecate, just loud enough that he hoped his sisters would not hear him.

"Other than Hera's wrath, which I don't think amounts to much in your case?" Hecate replied, "Not as many down sides as you might imagine, other than having to perform regularly to satisfy your Goddess sisters. Having more than one woman in the house can actually serve as a buffer against any one of them getting too much out of line...the competition for your attention tends to keep them more-or-less honest."

"Hey, what was that already?" Aphrodite scowled, "I can't hear you!"

"Oh, nothing much," Hecate smiled serenely, "Just a private jest between us, pay it no mind."

"Hmmm," Athena frowned, having some slight inkling of what had been discussed since she counted lip-reading among her skills as a Goddess.

"Now then," Hecate resumed, "Those are the options which I have laid out before you, Son-in-Law" she grinned, "What is your decision?"

"What decision is there to be made?" Hippolyta asked, "He must marry me...it is the law which Zeus himself has commanded."

"Me and my big mouth," Zeus grumbled acidly under his breath.

"The Tartarus you say!" Athena snapped, then seemed to reconsider her outburst as she saw the way in which everyone was looking at her, "Um...I mean...this really should be his decision, which of us to have for a wife, right?"

"Hey, with me in the competition, what decision?" Aphrodite smirked, turning an apologetic nod towards her daughter, "Sorry Kid...but I saw him first...uh...well...second..."

"Oh yeah," Artemis sniped, "Age before beauty."

"Huh?" the Goddess of Love blinked, then whirled on her Moon sister, "HEY!"

"Is it really necessary for us to argue this way?" Hebe inquired, "As Athena has said, let Herakles choose which of us he will marry...but...I do hope he wants a mature woman to be his wife...oh my...!"

"Yeesh," Hermes winced, "This is worse than a lottery, and the part that sucks is that you could get fried by the parties you don't choose..."

"No fooling," Ares agreed, "I'm almost sorry for the Miscreant...I sure wouldn't want to be in his sandals..."

Herakles scowled in thought, racking his brains to think of a way that would defuse the situation, but the only thing that came to mind was the question he turned instead towards the Witch Goddess, "Mind if I ask you a question?"

"Indeed?" Hecate cocked one midnight eyebrow.

"What right do you have to dictate a thing like this to me?" Herakles wondered, "I mean...sure, me and Hippolyta had a little misunderstanding, but that was no reason for you to curse me! I mean...don't you think that's a little excessive?"

"As opposed to turning you into a stag and letting a hunter shoot you for his dinner?" Hecate smiled, "Or turning a Mortal into a Spider because she was a better weaver? Or turning a worshipper into a Cat because she forgot to make an offering at the right temple?"

Simultaneously, Artemis, Athena and Aphrodite all winced in tandem.

"Yeah, exactly my point," Herakles replied without catching these references, "Just because you've got the power to do that, does that give you the right? And if you don't have the right to do any of that, then what makes you think you can judge me for the kind of guy I am? I mean, let's be hypocritical here, who's putting who on trial, and ain't that the right of my Father to decide as the King of Olympus?"

"Well said, Boy," Zeus smiled in approval.

"I will grant you that it would be unfair for me to impose my will upon you," Hecate replied, "If you had not already transgressed against Hippolyta, then offered me offense when I sought to investigate the matter. And does not the Law of Zeus entitle any God or Goddess to seek just compensation for any grievance? Consider the evidence, which I present here..."

With that the Witch Queen waved her staff at the open space to one side of the Amphitheater, and there formed the image of a fallen stag, one with two arrows protruding from its hide, both aimed towards the heart. Almost simultaneously a man and a woman approached the deer from two different directions, Herakles and Hippolyta, each carrying bows while looking crossly at one another.

"Hey you!" Hippolyta sniped, "What are you doing on my land?"

"Your land?" Herakles responded, "What are you talking about? I didn't see any markers."

"This is Amazon territory," Hippolyta declared imperiously, "No Poachers allowed!"

"Poachers?" Herakles snorted, "No way! I'm just rustling up some dinner...you can't expect a man to starve in a Gods forsaken wilderness like this, can you?"

"Gods Forsaken?" Hippolyta bridled, "I'll have you know that we worship and respect the Gods here in Amazonea, and you are in violation of the law of Artemis by taking one of her sacred stags without permission!"

"Permission?" Herakles replied, "I always ask permission before I shoot anything! And what about that arrow sticking from its carcass? I don't suppose you know where that one came from?"

"I have permission to hunt on my own lands!" Hippolyta declared hotly, "I'm the Queen of Amazonea!"

"Oh yeah, and that means you get to make the rules, huh?" Herakles snorted, "Guess that also means you got the right to break 'em if you want."

"Why, you uncouth, uncivilized lout!" Hippolyta declared.

"Uncivilized?" Herakles snorted, "Look who's talking! You think I'm impressed just because you're some Renunciate noblewoman who picks a fight because somebody got to a stag before you did?"

"Why you arrogant cur!" Hippolyta dropped her bow and immediately drew her bronze-handled short sword, "I ought to carve that tongue out of your insolent mouth."

"Hey!" Herakles raised a hand and said, "What are you getting all upset for? Look, why don't we just forget about it and agree to share the stag? I mean...if you're as hungry as I am..."

"SHARE-WITH YOU?" Hippolyta all but screamed, "Have at you!"

She lunged forward, but-much to her surprise-the larger man moved much quicker than she had expected and circled immediately behind her, gripping her by both arms and holding her immobile.

"Look, let's just drop it already, will ya?" Herakles asked, "I don't want to have to fight with you..."

"THEN DIE!" Hippolyta cried, surprising the big man by proving to be a lot stronger than he had expected. She flipped herself out of the painful arm-  
twisting position she had been in and lashed out with both feet, knocking Herakles back a few paces while freeing herself, then-once she was on her feet once again-she whirled and lashed out with a thrust of her short sword.

To her amazement the big man just sidestepped her lunge then brought the edge of his hand down across her neck in a precisely aimed chop. Like a candle being snuffed out she was out like a like and collapsed to the ground, instantly unconscious.

"Too bad," Herakles said as he walked over and casually picked up the stag, slinging it across his shoulders, "You should have listened...I was willing to give you half. Don't blame me for the headache you're gonna have when you wake up, you had it coming."

The image faded, to be replaced by another, showing Herakles at camp with his Uncle Genma, casually butchering the carcass of the stag, when Genma touched his arm and drew his attention to something important.

"Boy, you got lucky with this one," the Satyr remarked, "See the way that shot's angled, and the heart froze up around both puncture wounds? You must have both shot the animal at almost the exact same time to get precise closure like that."

"You think so?" Herakles sounded more impressed than he seemed willing to admit, "Yeah...maybe I should have left her half...she really didn't have to get all upset like that. I would have shared if she'd let me..."

"Women can be awfully unreasonable about some things, Boy," Genma counseled, "Take your mother, for example..."

"What about my mother?" Herakles bristled.

"Oh-nothing!" Genma hastily backed away, "I just mean...that some women can't take no for an answer. You'll figure it out for yourself one of these days, Boy, if you're really lucky."

"Maybe so," Herakles settled down again, "It's funny, you know...as mad as she was at me, she was also kind of Cute."

"Cute?" Genma blinked, "Son...these Amazons are definitely NOT what a sane man would call CUTE! They're savage, war-like, aggressive and prideful...not at all like us men and..." he paused again to consider a point, "Um...by the way, Boy...just how did you part company with the lady?"

"I knocked her out before she could hurt herself," Herakles replied, "I was real gentle, too, probably didn't even leave a bruise on her skin...why?"

"Never mind!" Genma said with a suddenly frantic expression, "Just...forget about dressing the carcass right now, just pick up everything you can and let's leave!"

"Leave?" Herakles blinked, "Why do we have to leave?"

"Because that woman, when she wakes up, is going to be after you, Boy, take my word for that!" Genma said with absolute authority in his tone, "And she DEFINITELY will not take no for an answer!"

"Sage counsel indeed," Hecate mused, "A pity he was far less wise when we had our confrontation."

The image changed again to where the two men (well, Demigod and Satyr anyway) followed the winding hunters path up to a stream that forked into a double trail, one leading off to the right and left...and, on their side of the stream was hunched an old lady.

"Excuse me, kind sirs," the old woman asked in a weathered tone of voice, "But I need to get across this stream to the other side, and my old bones ache something fierce these days...rheumatism and all that..."

"Sorry, can't stop to chat, got to move," Genma apologized as he went on by the crone without stopping.

"Hey!" Herakles called out, "Wait up a minute, Pops...this lady needs our help."

"Boy, are you out of your mind?" Genma snapped, "We have Amazons on our tailbones! You want to give them a clear shot at you while you stop to play good Samaritan?"

"This ain't got nothing to do with the Samaritans, Pops!" Herakles turned to the old woman and said, "I'm sorry for the rush, I'll try and be gentle."

"Um...young man, I..." the old woman started to say when she was suddenly scooped up into his arms and carried like a cradle while Herakles followed Genma in wading out into the small river.

"Oh...my..." the old woman remarked as she nestled into the crooks of one arm, "You certainly are a strong young man...and how very kind of you to want to help me..."

"Yeah, well, I just can't stand to see anybody suffer," Herakles said before amending, "Unless I'm the one that makes them suffer, and that's only when they do something to deserve it."

"So, you believe in punishing the wicked, do you?" the old woman noted speculatively.

"Sure, if they can't take a hint and don't know when to quit," Herakles said as he waded out onto the other side, then set the woman down as gently as he could manage, "There you go, all dry and everything. Now...if you'll excuse me..."

"Just a moment, young man," the old woman said, "For such kindness as you've shown me, you deserve a reward..."

"Are you still lagging around there, Boy?" Genma snapped, "Get a move on, fast, before those Harpies have time to stage another ambush!"

"I'm coming, Old Man," Herakles turned back to the old lady and said, "Sorry, can't stick around, got a hunting party after me and all that..."

"Amazons?" the old woman asked, "Then why are you following that trail? That will just lead you even further into their territory. Go the other path, it's much safer."

"Oh, thanks," Herakles started to turn away when Genma appeared beside them, suspiciously eyeing the woman in question.

"What do you mean the safer path?" he demanded, "Do you know this area very well?"

"Well enough," the old crone replied, "Enough to know that the path you were going to take would lead you through the Marshes, through which few travelers hail, and even fewer survive."

"But how do we know that it's the right way?" Genma asked, "For all we know you could be in league with those Amazons...after all, this territory belongs to them, right?"

"Pops, what are you saying?" Herakles demanded, "She's just a harmless old lady..."

"Haven't you learned anything yet, Boy?" Genma replied, "Never judge by appearances, such sloppy thinking could get you killed out in these parts!"

"Hey, we got no reason to doubt that she's telling the truth here, Pops," Herakles said hotly.

"No reason other than the fact that going the wrong way could be fatal," Genma countered, turning back to the old woman, "Sorry, no offense, but I'm not quite as na ve as the Boy here...I've been around the block a few times, and I can tell when some deal like this is just a little too suspicious."

"Indeed?" the old woman mused in obvious speculation, "Could it be that I have underestimated your intelligence, my dear fellow?"

"That's right," Genma replied, "You'd have to get up awfully early in the day to outwit me, Old Woman...so, if it's just the same with you, I'm heading this way, even if it does take us into the Marshes. A good chance that those Erinyes following us won't go there and we'll be able to escape them."

"But that's nuts, Pops!" Herakles protested, "We could get lost in this place, and those women sure must know the area a whole lot better than we do!"

"Exactly my point, Boy," Genma replied, already setting out on the path that he had previously chosen, "But we can turn that against them if they don't expect us to head off in this direction."

"What?" Herakles cried out as he chased after the Satyr, "But that don't make any sense, Pops! Pops, are you listening to me, you Old Fool...?"

"Very well," the old woman smiled, "I can see that you both are much too clever for me," and then with a soft chuckle she altered in form into the Goddess Hecate, who smiled a crafty smile and said, "Yes indeed...I see great potential there...too bad it's being wasted with a fool like that for a role model..."

"And my opinion stands as is today," Hecate the of the present duly noted, banishing the past image, "Had you chosen the safe path it would have indeed taken you away from Amazon lands, but you refused my gift out of safe passage out of misplaced loyalty to your Mentor. You both wandered out into the Forbidden Marshlands, where of course I had laid many traps for you to discover...the one which I created on inspiration provided from the memories of Genma himself, though somehow the fool avoided the trap I had intended for him to fall into. Not so his less experienced apprentice."

"You set me up!" Herakles cried in outrage.

"Indeed," the Witch Goddess agreed, "But I merely laid the curse down, you were the one who stumbled into it all innocent and unknowing."

"But that's Entrapment!" Athena protested, "Daddy, you can't let her get away with this! Herakles never even knew what was coming!"

"I agree," Zeus thundered, "How dare you lay a trap like that out for my son! I demand you remove it from him immediately!"

"I refuse," Hecate turned around and defiantly met the gaze of the Lord of Thunder, "I have stated my conditions for lifting the curse, and so far they have gone unmet."

All at once Zeus had one of his legendary thunderbolts in his hand, and like a Javelin he cast it at Hecate, who merely raised her staff and banished the thing into a thousand electrified fragments.

"I do not seek to war with you, Lord Zeus," Hecate said calmly, "But neither will I be bullied into submission. You have heard my conditions, now it is up to Lord Herakles himself to decide his own fate. By your own laws I have the right to stipulate such terms, and it is only justice which I am after."

"Justice?" Athena replied, "But Herakles gave no offense to you!"

"You think so, do you, Niece?" Hecate replied, then waved her staff again and called up yet another image...

This time it was of the blonde haired Alcides dragging herself up out of a marsh pit that she had blindly stumbled into. Genma stood on the banks asking if the "Boy" were all right, only to blanch in dismay when he saw the transformation which had been worked, to which the Satyr whimpered, "Oh Kami...I'm going to be toast for certain!"

"Huh? What are you talking about, you Old Fool?" the blonde replied, only to stare down at herself in dismay, "W-What...? Hey...why does my voice sound so funny? And what are you staring...at?"

A horrified expression slowly crept over the blonde beauty's features, then without a word she undid the laces to her cuirass and partially removed it, revealing the body that was hidden within the now surprisingly large-fitting leather harness. One look did not prove enough, however, and she had to explore with both of her hands to confirm the reality of what had taken the place of her pectorals. Once confirmed of her suspicions the blonde quite naturally began screaming her head off.

"You rang?" asked the old woman, who appeared once again from the edge of the clearing.

"What's happened to me?" the blonde cried out, "I'VE BEEN TURNED INTO A GIRL!"

"So I've noticed," the old woman replied, "And a rather strapping beauty at that...but I did try to warn you to avoid these marshes."

"What do you know about this, Old Woman?" Genma whirled on the old woman.

"Everything," the woman declared as she suddenly straightened out and took on the younger, taller form of the ebony-night-haired goddess, "For I am the one who prepared the way for you. I am Hecate...the Mother of Mysteries and Patron of Wise Women."

"You?" Herakles flared, "You did this to me? Turn me back at once!"

"Don't worry," Hecate replied, "I will...once you satisfy me that you will not turn out to be the spitting image of your father."

"Huh?" Herakles blinked, "What do you mean by..."

"Once, long ago," Hecate replied, "When the world was young, and I was a bit more na ve than I am these days, I chanced to meet a God who was much in need of wise counsel. He was a young man with prospects, much like you, in his day...and I saw such great promise within him. I agreed to help him out, even though it was against the direct will of my King, his father...and when the time came to choose sides, I sided with him in the war between the Gods and the Titans. I had believed, at the time, that in doing so I was serving the best interests of all concerned parties, and besides which...your father was quite the charmer. Just ask anyone who's ever been sweet-talked into his embrace..."

"Ahhh..." Zeus winced slightly.

"Way to go, Daddy," Aphrodite snorted.

"To make a long and rather painful story short," Hecate continued, "I was somewhat...less than thrilled with the results of my decision, for while the present administration is arguably fairer than what prevailed in the time of Chronos, the present administration still leaves quite a lot to be desired, but...then again, I suppose no one's rule is truly all that perfect."

"So what are you taking it out on me for?" Herakles sulked, "I didn't do nothing to you!"

"Not to me, perhaps," Hecate replied, "But to others whom I could name? Ah...there we have a problem."

"Ain't my problem," Herakles insisted, "Why does an evil old witch like you have to go and turn me into a girl for? Just because you and Dad had a bad blow out?"

"Perhaps I am being a bit petty if I give the impression that it was personal spite that made me do this," Hecate replied, "You're not yet as bad as your father, but there is always the future to consider, and I think cursing you like this will actually serve to deter future bad behavior."

"But why?" Herakles protested, looking down at herself, "Why this?"

"Because you, young fool, have a good heart but next to no manners at all," Hecate sniffed, "Yet this is hardly surprising considering the fool you have for a role model! You have trespassed on the land of the Amazons, stirred up a hornet's next among my spiritual daughters and have incurred the wrath of one whose pursuit of you will now be relentless! All of this springs from your disregard of the proper rights and respect, which should be naturally accorded to all women...therefore I have cursed you so that you will know what it is like to be spurned for being a member of the fair sex. Because you are the son of Lord Zeus, your curse shall be most fitting, as I have gleaned the inspiration for this from the mind and memories of your so-called trainer..."

"Me?" Genma blanched, "Now wait a minute! You're not saying that..."  
"Your son was cursed because of your foolish actions in the future," Hecate revealed, "Lessons which you have just as foolishly repeated in the present form...and so you must both reap the consequences of your lamentable attitudes regarding the rights and dignity of all women."

"But I tried to help you!" Herakles protested.

"Which is why my curse is not more severe than this," Hecate replied, "You have great potential, I would rather not see it be wasted. Learn from your mistakes and then I will consider lifting this curse...but continue in your present folly and you might become another Zeus, which I would fervently much rather see avoided..."

With that the Witch Queen faded into the background, leaving Genma and the transformed Herakles to turn and look at one another, just before the latter growled, "You-you-you IDIOT! This is all your fault!"

"Now, wait a minute, Boy!" the Satyr backed away, "Let's not be too hasty and..."

Without a further word the blonde haired Demigoddess started chasing her trainer, who prudently made use of his goat legs to get an early lead, even as the vision faded out, returning everyone to the immediate present.

"And so it has been for the few weeks since my curse was laid upon you," Hecate mused, "You are right to call me spiteful if this were simply a matter of holding the sins of your father against you, but I am not Hera, I do not judge the son by the measure of the father."

"No, of course not," Herakles snorted, "You just Hex people 'cause you feel like it."

"As you will," Hecate smiled, "Yet one day, I judge, you will come to thank me for bestowing upon you this favor."

"Yeah, right," Herakles muttered to himself, silently vowing to get even one of these days with the powerful Witch Goddess.

"I fail to see where you have a solid case here," Athena spoke up again, "By your own vision, the offense was not to you, and only directly against Hippolyta."

"Perhaps you are correct on this," Hecate replied, "But he still needs to learn humility, and the respect of all women, which is why my curse stands until further notice."

"My Boy doesn't need to learn any lessons about humility," Zeus growled, "And if he did, then I'd be the one to teach him."

"Oh yes," Hera rolled her eyes, "You are a great one on that subject, Husband."

"So, what do I gotta do to satisfy you that I'm humble?" Herakles growled.

"Fulfill the terms of my conditions," Hecate replied, "Marry Hippolyta and swear to be her dutiful husband, or take one of these others to be your wife...either individually or together. The alternative is to agree to undertake twelve labors of my specification...and if you do this, and succeed, then your curse will be lifted."

"Doesn't sound so hard," Zeus mused, "So...what's it going to be, Son? Which of these women do you want to pick for a wife? If you're having trouble, I can always pick one for you."

"DADDY!" Athena and Aphrodite chorused together.

"I wish it was that simple," Herakles muttered, "But anybody I pick, the other girls are going to be upset about it, right?"

"Not me," Artemis insisted, "You can marry Goat-Legs over there for all I care! But Hippe's got a pretty solid claim from where I'm standing, and it's probably just as well that she get you for her stables."

"Exactly," Hippolyta replied, "Grandfather...you must honor my claim. It is only right that I should have a strong husband, and I've never met any who were stronger than this one."

"But strength isn't the only thing that matters," Athena pointed out, "And to be truly compatible, there should be a balance between intellect and muscles."

"Who cares about that stuff?" Aphrodite all but drooled again, "Take a look at that BODY!"

"Oh yes," Hebe agreed, "And he has very good...hands...oh my..."

"Ah..." Herakles glanced around nervously before saying, "I don't suppose I could have a little more time to make my mind up about this?"

"As a matter of fact," Hecate smiled, "I was just about to suggest this..."

All at once the room was filled by the sound of peculiar laughter, disturbing and melodious, causing even Ares to cringe and said, "Oh no...not her!"

"What the hell is that?" Herakles cringed, noticing that his was not the only adverse reaction.

"Just a moment there," said a velvety voice before the laugh resolved into a form that was surpassingly womanly, albeit the figure who emerged from shadow was a raven haired beauty whose eyes seemed to glow with a faint malevolence before resolving into a more normal violet coloration, "If we are considering which Goddess is fitting for our heroic brother, then might I put in for my own petition?"

"Who...?" Genma started to gasp when Hermes leaned closer to him and gave a conspiratorial nod in Herakles's direction.

"Eris, Goddess of Discord and Madness," he revealed, "Daughter of Zeus and Hera, though there are a few questions about her legitimacy on either side of the fence, and nobody else will take either the blame or the credit."

"Not to mention that she is my Twisted Sister," Ares noted with evident aversion.

"Eris," Hecate pronounced the name with obvious distaste, "What an...un-pleasant surprise..."

"Likewise, Auntie," the ebony haired Goddess responded before turning a disturbingly sensuous look towards Herakles, "Well now...they certainly did not exaggerate about your looks, dear Brother. What a Manly sort you are indeed...and-best of all-still single."

"Eep," Herakles winced, turning to Hecate and saying, "I'll take the Twelve Labors!"

"Good call," Hermes nodded, judging the timing just right that none of the other Goddesses would dispute this.

"Very well," Hecate nodded, "Twelve Labors indeed, which I will specify at a given time of my choosing. In the meantime, however...I think that you should spend some time with your blushing brides to be...all of them or in turn, since it is likely that you will wind up marrying one of them in due course...which brings me to my second offer of the day. Lord Zeus...you wish your son to marry in order to proclaim his legitimate title as a Prince of Olympus?"

"Yeah?" Zeus asked cautiously, "So?"

"Up until now we have put all of the pressure upon the Lad, demanding that he make a truly momentous choice with almost no preparation or understanding of what it means to be in a marriage," the Witch Goddess acknowledged, "But now I think it is time to separate the Women from the Goddesses, if you will, to see which of these potential suitors might be worthy of him. After all, the spirit of these Labors calls for a little healthy...competition."

"What have you in mind?" Hera asked on behalf of her husband.

"Obviously I favor Hippolyta's claim," Hecate resumed, "But she and her sisters renounced their divinity in order to live on the Earth as Demi-Immortals. Unless Hippolyta were willing to eat of the Ambrosia, which would restore her to full Goddess-hood, she quite obviously remains at a competitive disadvantage with real Goddesses who are her Aunts and Patrons. Therefore...what I propose is that Herakles be allowed to return to Earth in order to fulfill his labors, but that the Goddesses come with him by splitting off a portion of themselves as Avatars, to live themselves as Demi-Immortals, until such time as when the Labors themselves are completed and he has chosen one to be his wife."

"What?" Athena asked.

"You've got to be kidding!" Aphrodite protested.

"Who'd be crazy enough to do that?" Artemis scoffed.

"It sounds intriguing," Eris noted.

"All right, other than her," Artemis hastily amended.

"Oh my!" Hebe exclaimed with a hand to her mouth, though more in surprise than horror at the suggestion.

"Avatars?" Hermes asked, "But...what about their function up here...?"

"Oh, they will remain as they are in the Heavens," Hecate replied, "I only suggest that a portion of their divine will be separated and implanted into the selected bodies of mortal women, who will then become their Avataric hosts. Each woman, whom is to be selected by the Goddesses themselves, will prove a worthy suitor to compete against Hippolyta for the right to be Herakles's wife. It all remains up to him...he will have to find them and decide which of them is best suited to be his mate. It will all be done fairly and in accordance to precedents, and each Goddess will be allowed to retain an equal measure of power...roughly one percent of their total divinity, which is just about right for Hippolyta to name as her equals."

"Sounds interesting," Zeus mused, combing through his long red beard with his fingers.

"Daddy!" Aphrodite cried in shock, "You're not seriously going to go along with this?"

"Your father knows what he is doing," Hera replied, "For once. Besides...walking among the Mortals as an Avatar is good for broadening one's perspective...is this not correct, Witch Queen?"

"I've been known to do it a time or two myself," Hecate revealed, turning to Hippolyta herself and saying, "What about it, Child? Will you agree to compete fairly against the likes of Athena, Artemis and Aphrodite?"

"Hey!" Artemis sputtered in protest, "Count me out of this!"

"I would gladly compete against anyone to prove my right as a superior Woman and a wife to Lord Herakles," Hippolyta smirked proudly.

"Then it's decided," Zeus slapped his knee and grinned broadly, "By Thunder, it's been a while since we had a sport this good! My girls fighting for the man they want to marry...it almost takes me back to the old days..."

"You mean the Festival of Sadie Hawkings?" Hera mused, "That was how I wound up with you, remember?"

"Oh yeah...good point," Zeus ruefully amended.

"Wait a candlewick!" Herakles protested, "Don't I have any say in this?"

"Not too likely, Bro," Hermes counseled, "Once Dad makes his mind up, it's usually final, unless Hera talks him out of it, of course..." he murmured the latter part very softly.

"Hermes," Zeus declared, "You will go with your brother and serve as his spiritual advisor."

"WHAT?" Hermes whirled about, "But Dad-!"

"Don't but dad me, young scoundrel!" Zeus chided, "Your brother needs someone to look out for his best interests, and you're perfect for the job since you already get along so well with one another."

"But I've got a lot of office work to catch up to!" Hermes insisted.

"And you'll be fulfilling your duties to your office," Hera remarked sweetly, "Remember...ninety nine percent of your essence will remain here, only one percent will go to Earth and incarnate as a mortal."

"Which is why you'll be going along yourself, my dear," Zeus smiled slyly.

"W-WHAT?" his wife whirled on her husband, "But I'm not a suitor!"

"No, but Herakles will need someone of age and wisdom to look after him," Zeus replied, "Don't worry, I'll see to it you incarnate in the body of royalty, someone who will be in a position worthy of your status as Queen of Heaven."

"But-!" Hera started to insist when Zeus put his foot down and became wrathful.

"I HAVE SPOKEN, WOMAN!" he cried with upraised finger, causing lightning to briefly illuminate the heavens, which even cowed Hera...at least for a few moments.

Hecate turned to the other goddesses and said, "Athena, Aphrodite, Hebe...this is the last chance you may have to reconsider your pursuit of a possible husband. Herakles is strong, brave and handsome, but are you truly willing to even temporarily risk your Godhood in order to pursue him?"

"Well..." Aphrodite faltered.

"Forget her," Artemis sniffed, "She's already been married, TWICE now, remember?"

"Hey!" Aphrodite whirled around, "Me and Heph got divorced a long time ago! And as for Ares, that was just a little fling we both were having for a couple of centuries..."

"A fling?" Herakles himself remarked, indicating the Amazon delegation, "But...you guys had five daughters..."

"More than that," Hippolyta replied, "We're just the ones who decided to become Demi-Mortals...husband."

Herakles winced as Aphrodite did something extremely uncharacteristic, which was to think seriously about the issue, "Um...well...I guess maybe a brief stay on Earth wouldn't be so bad..."

"I have only one question to ask before I decide on this matter," Athena approached Herakles and held out a sheaf of parchment, "Read what is on this, then I will know my path."

Herakles took the parchment in hand, scanning the lettering, which he found was in a script that he could read, "Separate the Yoke from the White of the Eggs, blend in with two cups of flour..."

"Oh my," Hebe blinked, "Is that one of my recipes?"

"EEP!" Athena seemed extremely disconcerted as she snatched the parchment out of her brother's hand before replacing it with another, "I meant this one!"

Herakles scanned the new parchment and read, "There Once Was a Lady from Corinth..."

"NOT THAT ONE!" Athena was even more frantic in switching parchments this time, then looked Herakles seriously in the eyes and said, "Now...read it slowly, and pronounce it as you would naturally recite this."

Herakles looked at the goddess, then down at the parchment and read, "Oh, but for a midsummer night's breeze, to walk in fair and gentle glens with the rose colored dawn of fair Aurora's blessings..."

"That's enough!" Athena covered his mouth with her hand, her expression one of incredulous amazement, flushed with an excitement that made her cheeks go rose tinted. She turned resolutely and said, "I accept your terms, Auntie! I'll go to Earth and court Herakles fairly."

"Whoah," Aphrodite started to fan herself, "That guy reads poetry like he's a natural...is it getting warm in here, or is it just me?"

"Oh my," Hebe said with even more expression to her lovely features, "And he certainly does know how to read from a recipe book...OH MY!"

"Huh," Ares snorted, "Wuss."

"Then it's decided in your three cases," Hecate nodded, "You will go to Earth and implant a portion of your essence in the bodies of three mortals..."

"Just a moment there," Eris said, giving Herakles a speculative look that would have been charming on a rattler, but for her was simply...scary! "I also wish to participate in this game, especially since the prize himself is such a fair specimen upon which to look. Something about his manliness calms the restless demons of my spirit."

"Urk," Herakles responded, feeling very much as though his own grave were being violated.

"Very well then," Zeus declared, "And Artemis, you'll also be going with them."

"WHAAAAT?!" the Moon Goddess exclaimed, "No way! He's a GUY! I don't want him!"

"But he's also part girl, Sis," Aphrodite smirked, "Don't you think that makes him worth your attention?"

"But that's only because of a stupid curse that makes him look...better!" Artemis sputtered, "When he's a man, he's no use to me!"

"That's funny, Sister," Athena remarked, "You didn't seem to be this upset when you were dating Orion."

"Hey, we were just FRIENDS!" Artemis insisted, "There was nothing serious between us, and it was Apollo who tricked me into shooting him!"

"Uh huh, a Hunting Accident, right," Aphrodite mused, "And I don't suppose it had anything to do with the fact that he was chasing one of your Nymphs when this happened?"

"That had nothing to do with it, and he wasn't chasing her!" Artemis protested.

"Nonetheless," Zeus declared, "You will go with your sisters and select a mortal host for incarnation."

"But why do I have to do anything so stupid as-!" Artemis flinched as a lightning bolt shattered the floor tile next to where she was standing, causing her to hastily back-pedal, "UH-right! Whatever you say, Daddy..."

"Then it's decided," Zeus declared, "Each of you make preparations to divide your essence, then go to Earth and select your Mortals. My boy...you'll have to head back to Earth on foot, I'm afraid, but Hermes will show you the way...and my dear...have fun ruling a mortal Kingdom."

"Husband," she frowned, "You wouldn't happen to be trying to get me out of the way for a few decades so you can play around...would you?"

"Why, I'm shocked at the very suggestion!" Zeus manifested the very model of innocence in his expression, then grinned, "Get going, Wench, and don't let the bead curtain hit your fanny when you're leaving."

"Ah...father?" Ares spoke up, "Would it be permissible for me to participate in this little contest, just to make things more interesting?"

"You?" Athena said with distaste.

"Why not?" Ares replied, "Do you think I would be any more remiss in seeing to my half Brother's well being, Sister dearest?"

"Why does that not inspire confidence in me?" Aphrodite grumbled.

"Swell," Herakles sighed, rubbing his temples, "This is just terrific..."

"Um...Sir?" Genma spoke up very meekly, "If I've fulfilled the terms of the promise you made me..."

"You want to go back home, is that it?" Zeus frowned.

"Well...um...if it isn't any trouble..." Genma considered using the Crouch of the Wild Tiger just in case his employer took the suggestion badly.

"You did promise to restore him to humanity, and to send him back along his way, if he raised your son to be a Man among Men, did you not?" Hecate pointed out.

"I did say something like that, didn't I?" Zeus combed his fingers through his bear again then added, "But the deal isn't finished so long as my son remains single. If he marries one of these beauties, then your task will be fulfilled, not before then, am I clear on this?"

"Yes sir," Genma replied, visibly sweating, "Like crystal."

"You mean I'm stuck with him a while longer?" Herakles rolled his eyes, "What else can go wrong?"

"Do you really want to know the answer to that?" Hecate grinned, "Then perhaps I should warn you...there will be others who will be after you, either to kill or marry. Be mindful which ones are true suitors and which are merely also rans."

"But, to be fair," Zeus noted, "They won't all be going with you at the same time...my girls will head on ahead and pick out their Mortal Hosts ahead of your arrival. In return for this, Hippolyta will back off a bit and allow them to become better established, agreed?"

"As you wish it, Grandfather," Hippolyta saluted, turning to her sisters and murmuring, "This sill be glorious adventure...and none will ever doubt again the fitness of an Amazon to select her own husband."

"But how will I know which of them is the Goddess if they all get incarnated somewhere else?" Herakles protested.

"I will see to it you get steered towards your beloved suitors," Hecate promised, "But as for knowing which of them is which, they will retain enough memory of themselves to know you as their future husband. Besides...consider this your first lesson about women...that if you look into their eyes, every woman is a reflection of the Goddess."

"I'll try and keep that in mind," Herakles replied, then wondered which of the fates he had most offended to be stuck in this situation...and whether or not he had what it took to survive the challenges that faced him. As a betting man by trade, it was looking very much as if the Odds of the House were being stacked heavily against him...

Continued.

Comments/Criticisms/Heraklean Quests: shadowmane

Herakles begins his Heroic Journeys with brother Hermes as his guide while Genma tries to play matchmaker, and each of the Goddesses make their selections among mortals, but who will win the ultimate prize and can Hippolyta truly be trusted to play fair against the competition? Be with us next time for: "At the Five and Deianeira," or "Atalanta or be Busted!" Be there!

X -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

If you wish to check out my other works, Please check out my Fanfiction webpage at: . All related chapters of this series can be found there along with my other works. 


	4. Chapter 4

Hercules 4

Hercules 1/2

"GENMA SAOTOME'S TIME AND SPACE MISADVENTURES!"

by Jim Robert Bader

(Inspired by the works of Rumiko Takahashi,  
and that ain't no Bullfinch!)

Chapter Four.

The pounding of a hammer against anvil punctuated the air with the powerful beats of a Blacksmith making a weapon from a lump of this new metal known as Meteoric Iron. The Smith had practiced long and arduously in order to learn the style of crafting swords made from this rare alloy of sky-metal, which required much higher temperatures to forge than for Brass or Bronze, which were far more common. Iron weapons were still a novelty in this ancient time of myth and legend, and what weapons there were made from the stuff tended to be of poor Carbon levels, highly brittle and subject to shattering when in combat.

This Smith, however, was confident that the weapons being made at this forge would stand the test of time, for the knowledge of this new craft came directly from the God of the Forge himself, Lord Hephaestus. The Smith had learned the craft from a previous master, and was diligently following the hard won lessons of that teaching. The Forge was bellows-fired and could exceed the temperature needed to melt chunks of that meteorite that had been discovered in a nearby quarry, and the weapons and tools so far created had withstood every test, proving sturdy enough to serve the Kings and Princes who were the Smith's main clients.

As honored and respected as the noble profession of Black Smithing had come to be, however, there were still Bronze Smiths and Copper Smiths who resented the competition. Sometimes they had made an effort to try and close this Smith's workshop down, risking the wrath of King and God alike. They would send their bully boys in to try and force the issue.

Atalanta of Athens could hardly have cared less for their strong-arm tactics, and being a rather large and strapping girl with long blonde hair held back in a pony tail, she tended to pose quite an imposing figure to most men, especially when they got a good look at her near-naked body, which was hot, well tanned and oily from many hours spent working a hammer next to a hot forge. Though plainly feminine, her muscles rippled like those of a man, and which none could fault her well-curved figure, there were few who would have described her as "dainty."

So it was that she-a practiced Huntress, used to foraging for herself without relying on any man-was working out her female aggressions against an iron lump that was stubbornly resisting her best efforts, no matter how hot she tried to heat it, when she chanced to notice the stealthy movement of many bodies all around her. She gave no indication of seeing the attack coming, just kept on working the metal until it finally gave and yielded to her pounding, when all at once her instincts warned her that one man was attempting to accost her from behind.

Without hardly missing a beat she brought her hammer up again, then swung it around and struck that worthy soundly in the kneecap.

He went howling down to the floor even as she stepped to the side and smote a second man with a mighty swing of her hammer aimed this time for his stomach. He doubled over and went down as Atalanta looked past him to mark four other burly fellows bearing down at her, and without waiting for them to attack, she vaulted over her two recent victims and laid into these other foemen, using both hammer and fist to make short work of the lot of them, laying the fifth man in the straw-strewn dirt of her shop before the third man even registered that he was unconscious.

The sixth man, unfortunate fellow that he was, found himself being backed up against a wall with Atalanta's arms crossed up against his Adam's Apple. While he stood there choking for his breath the blonde leaned forward and growled out, "Who sent you this time? Was it Ascheus? Polumenta?"

"Neither of them...Princess," another man replied, causing Atalanta to turn her head and scowl in the direction of a seventh man, who was presently standing in the doorway to her shop.

"And what do you want?" Atalanta growled, maintaining her grip on the bruiser until he passed out from lack of Oxygen, at which point she tossed him to the floor in disgust and scowled in the seventh man's direction.

"Forgive me, Princess," this man said as he bowed to her, a slighter and slyer looking man than the now-unconscious rowdies, "I did not mean to offend you, but I had orders from my Master, the King, who wishes to bring you back to court with all due haste..."

"My father sent you?" Atalanta scowled, "Then tell him to make an appointment, I'm busy..."

"Forgive me for not clarifying a point for you before, Princess," the sharp-  
faced, wiry man replied, "I said that the King requested that you return to Athens...I did not, however, refer to your father."

That stopped Atalanta cold where she stood, giving the man an astonished look before saying, "My father...is dead?"

"Alas," the man lowered his eyes and made a proper gestures signifying respect for the departed, "Gone to Hade's dark realm, these many seasons past. It has been four months...I would have thought the news of his burial would have reached you by now, Princess."

"Dead?" it took a long moment for Atalanta to absorb this, but then she surprised the man addressing her by growling in complaint, "That's...that's just like that old fart to do something like this to me! The nerve of that guy, dying like this before my quest could be completed! Just who in the name of the Gods did he think he was pulling something like this behind my back...!"

"Beg pardon?" the man replied, obviously unprepared for such a reaction.

"Never mind," Atalanta made a dismissive gesture then growled, "If my father's death, then who's the new King of Athens?"

"King Aegius, your father's brother, your uncle," the man explained, smoothly regaining his composure, "He thought that you might wish to pay your respects to your father, and to hear his proposal..."

"What, does my Uncle expect to marry me off for some dynastic purpose or other?" Atalanta scowled, "And as for paying my respects to my father...after what he did to me and my mother...you have got to be kidding! Don't you know that he left me to be exposed to the elements on the Parthenon...just because I was born female?"

"Er...well..." the wiry man replied somewhat uneasily, "I...had heard some rumors to that effect, yes..."

"But that wasn't the worst of it!" Atalanta continued, "I was rescued by a She-  
bear and raised by the Goddess Artemis until I was old enough to walk, then returned to my mother, who tried to teach me normal feminine ways..." the Blacksmith snorted, "Fortunately, by this time, having been sent away from court, she'd taken up residence with my Granddad, who taught me a useful trade in Smithing. The last time I saw my father was when he made that stupid bet years ago, which is why I left Athens for the final time altogether...and you think I owe his shade my respects? Do you know what that Bet of his has cost me? Huh? Well, do you?"

"Er...Princess...you're choking me..." the man gasped, Atalanta having by this point crossed the room to take him in both hands and shake him like a dry leaf.

"Oh...sorry," she let the man go and he promptly fell upon his kiester, "Sometimes I just forget my strength, that's all..."

"No problem," the man wheezed, checking his windpipe to make sure it remained unbroken.

"So you tell me why I should give a rat's ass about what's going on back in Athens?" Atalanta resumed in her towering rage, looking as terrifying as any Goddess, "If my Uncle wants my help running the Kingdom, he can go marry himself off to my horse for all I care..."

Said horse knickered softly in protest.

"I'm afraid it's not that simple, Princess," the wiry man said as he began to recover something of his dignity and bearing, "You see...Athens has fallen on hard times...your father bled the treasury...there was talk of bribes and kickbacks...well...a bit of a scandal, really, so King Aegius was forced to borrow some money from the Cretans..."

"The Cretans?" Atalanta blanched, "What, was he crazy? Why not go to the Sicilians while he was at it?"

"Indeed," the wiry man looked a bit uncomfortable before getting to his feet and continuing, "It seems that loan has come due a bit earlier than we'd thought, and without collateral to pay the debt, I'm afraid King Midas has laid down some rather onerous terms of repayment..."

"Let me guess," Atalanta raised a finger, "He wants to marry into the family, right? Have me marry his son, or something like that..."

"Well...actually," the man looked EXTREMELY uncomfortable as he answered, "King Midas has a son named Androgynous, who is of marital age and..."

"If you value your windpipe, don't go any further," Atalanta growled, "I'm not interested, and besides which...I already have a fianc e, remember?"

"But...Princess..." the man eyed the nearby exit just in case it might prove useful, "It has been ten long years since that Bet was made...you can't really expect that the Theban boy to whom you were engaged might even still be alive..."

"Oh, he's alive all right," Atalanta growled, "I'd wager my anvil on that, and one of these days I'm going to find that backstabbing little runt and-WHAMO!" she smacked fist to palm with the force of said hammer and anvil, "Then I'm going to remove his manhood and serve it up as an offering to Artemis, any questions about that?"

"Er...none at this time," the man fidgeted as he felt along the collar edge of his chiton with one finger, "Then...shall I tell the King that you will attend him when you have attended to other matters?"

"I took an oath to find that guy and pay him back for stealing from me," Atalanta growled, glancing down at one of the still-unconscious bruisers, "And it's going to take a lot more than these hired thugs to change my mind about that...now, get out of here before I decide not to behave like a lady!"

"Er...no problem, Princess, I was just leaving," the man turned to go, giving the impression of a Satyr slinking off with his male member tied in a knot.

Atalanta heard one of the men begin to groan and wasted no time reaching down and picking the bruiser up by his rope-belt and shoulder, easily hefting twice her body mass as she chucked him out of the doorway, just missing the wiry man, who yelped in surprise.

"AND TAKE THIS REFUSE WITH YOU, IT'S LITTERING UP MY SHOP!" she growled, turning away and muttering under her breath something rather indelicate about her ancestors.

Unseen by mortal eyes, a heavenly figure eased through one wall of the wooden shop and smiled in placid satisfaction. Yes, this one would do most nicely...just the thing the Goddess ordered. Oh true, she was the worshipper of a Sister, but when in matters of Love and War, all things were fair, or at least that was the general philosophy of her ex-second husband, Ares.

Aphrodite grinned a sweet, mischievous smile, admiring the powerful figure of this Atalanta, who was quite beautiful in her own way, yet whose heart was filled with bitterness and anger. The way this woman worked a forge reminded her quite a lot of her first husband, Hephaestus, and while that thought stirred in the Goddess of Love of Sex a certain casual excitement, she decided to forego the pleasure of a little "quickie" with the Mortal Tail, remembering her true reason for coming here and what other purposes for this Mortal she might have at the moment.

Aphrodite, upon agreeing to take part in the marital contest laid out for her and her sisters, was fully aware that she had a competitive disadvantage when it came down to courting her brother and (hopefully) future Third Husband. Athena and Artemis were both athletic types, and her daughter, Hippolyta, was the Queen of the Amazons, a warrior by profession. All three of them were worthy companions to as great a heroic figure as this Herakles, and all three could more than hold their own when it came to surviving the challenge of Hecate's Twelve Labors. Hebe, the only other significant participant, was definitely NOT warrior material, being more the helpless damsel sort usually favored by regular heroes. Aphrodite herself was most definitely a lover and not a fighter, and yet her impression of Herakles suggested to her that he would not want some weak hood ornament for his chariot for a wife...no token Trophy Wife either but rather a woman who would be able to keep up with him and meet him on more level terrain.

In other words...he wanted a woman who was slightly closer to being his equal.

Aphrodite was also not blind to the early lead that Athena had gotten by approaching their brother on an intellectual level. Obviously the boy had a brain to go with that great Bod of his, and this somehow must have intrigued Athena on a deep, almost atavistic level, so much so that the Nerdy Ice Princess had opened up and professed an attraction for the first thing male and humanoid that had ever before caught her notice. If Aphrodite did not act quickly, there was a very good chance that she might get frozen out of the race before the starter's slingshot had even gone "twang!"

To do that she either had to play to her strength-her status as a drop-dead Sex Bomb-or to her admitted weakness, and for the latter of those two choices she needed a body that could knock a Stone Giant dead with just a glance! The fact that this Atalanta had both brains, looks and muscle just sweetened the package! And-best of all-she already had a connection with Herakles, albeit one that had made the lady more than slightly embittered to the whole male of the species.

Besides which, there was every likely chance that if she didn't snatch this one up, Artemis would get to her instead, and that would be...very bad for all concerned parties, not least of which was Herakles himself. Of course it didn't hurt one bit that claiming this one would serve Aphrodite in another way...namely a bit of vicarious spite in revenge against her NRA (Natural Recreational Archery) loving Dyke of a sister!

After all, Atalanta had been burned in childhood by what she mistakenly believed was a betrayal by her betrothed, and in a mad act of rashness she had sworn off men altogether, vowing never to love any male until she had avenged herself and punished the ones who had wronged her. Renouncing love was not exactly the best way to get on Aphrodite's good side, so teaching this impudent girl a thing or two about romance was just what the Deity asked for.

So, having made her selection from among all of the Mortals whom she could have chosen, Aphrodite stepped forward, far too stealthy for even a Huntress of Atalanta's skill to detect, and with the tip of an index finger, the Goddess touched the Princess-turned-Smith in a spot right between the shoulder blades and allowed a portion of her essence to flow into the body of this mortal...

All at once Atalanta gasped, feeling a warmth pass through her body, briefly filling her heart and then flowing outward to imbue her extremities as the rest of her body reacted to the unexpected pleasure. She found her breath catching within her throat as her loins began to tingle and her breasts became hardened, her thighs tingling as her heart began to quicken, her whole body clenching briefly as she felt her first-ever orgasm, crying softly in amazement before the feeling gradually passed, leaving her weak in the knees and panting in amazement.

And then the feeling subsided, leaving Atalanta to sag briefly against her forge, wondering just what the hell had come over her all of a sudden. As her feelings returned to normal, a strange tingling remained within her body, like a faint electrical tension. She looked around in brief confusion but there was no one else with her but the fallen bodies of the men whom she had defeated.

Weaklings...hardly worthy of her interest. She needed a real man to interest her...a man who could take a little punishment and appreciate what a real woman had to offer! A man...or even some cute girl who'd squeal a lot but gradually yield to the warmth of her embraces...yes...that was just the thing she needed to improve her outlook...a nice squeeze and a good tumble...

Atalanta shook herself out of the momentary rush of libido, wondering what in the name of Persephone would have put thoughts like that into her head? The next thing she'd know she'd be having perverted thoughts about her own brother...

If she had a brother, that is.

Which brought to mind the thoughts of a childhood companion, one who had seemed to innocently befriend her long ago, even managing somehow to work his way into her heart, only to take off with her prize at the moment of her glory! And all because that sneak thief had proven to be just a little bit faster than she was when it came to running that race...an uncivilized boy of the country, even if he was a Prince! If she only knew where he was right now she would track him down and...

And...

And...suddenly she knew where to find him! Atalanta did not know how she could know, or even why she felt so certain about her chosen direction, but the feeling was so strong that it had to be a gift from the Gods. At last she would have her revenge! At last she would face that arrogant whelp down and plant him one on the kisser...

No wait...that did not sound quite right...

Well, whatever, it certainly had to be preferable to just sitting around cooling her heels in the midst of some Godsforsaken burg on the fringes of the known Civilized world, especially not if she had a relative intent on dragging her back to some drafty old palace! Atalanta was a lady with prospects, and she had every intent on making a name for herself in the world, possibly even becoming a legend in her own right. With that thought in mind she banked the flames of her forge and set about packing her meager belongings, then closing up the shop and setting out on the open road in search of a long-lost fianc e...

Being mindful to throw the garbage out into the dumps in passing, of course, groans and complaints notwithstanding, before tossing them a single copper coin for their troubles, fair warning that the other coin would be placed over their eyes to pay the Ferryman if she ever set eyes on that lot again, a hint that would be taken to heart by those mindful about such topics...

MOUNT OLYMPUS-HOME OF THE IMMORTALS...

"So, when do we leave, Bro?" Herakles asked of his companion.

"Soon enough," Hermes replied, "You've never really seen the sights around here, have you?"

"Can't say that I have, I've only just been here a few hours," Herakles answered, glancing around at the buildings in the area where they were presently strolling, "This place is kind of big, but not very crowded..."

"It's a pretty exclusive neighborhood," Hermes revealed, "Terraced apartments, Mycenean housing, rent's pretty steep, but you can't beat the climate..."

"Just how many people live up here anyway?" Herakles wondered.

"A couple thousand at most," Hermes replied, "At least at the last Census count...all Immortals of one type or another. Olympus isn't like one of your mortal villages, after all...people here want a nice, clean neighborhood, no eyesores or low-rent slums that might lower the property values..."

"And how many Gods?" Herakles wondered.

"Quite a few of us, actually," Hermes noted, "The Royal family, of course, lives in the palace at the high point of the hill, but the Lesser Gods and Titans live here and about, along with their servants, retainers, dependants and lesser spirits, Nymphs and Demi-folk, what have you..."

"Sounds like a regular city-state," Herakles continued to glance around, "So...where is everybody? The streets here seem pretty sparse..."

"Well," Hermes gave his younger brother a side look then said, "If you want the honest truth on the matter, not everybody likes to spend all of eternity living in Heaven. We're so high up in the clouds here that one day is pretty much the same as the other, and it only rains when Dad throws a tantrum or gets into an argument with Hera, so...after a few centuries, it can seem pretty boring..."

"So everybody's out visiting the Mortals?" Herakles asked.

"More like a regular commute between there and here," Hermes replied, "Life is just a lot more interesting among the Mortals. I know, I spend more time down there than anybody else with my job taking me from hither to yon. Gods may talk trash about the brief lives of those whom they look down on, but without Mortals, eternal life would just be a whole lot less fun..."

"Fun?" Herakles replied, "You got any idea what it's like being a Mortal? I've lived among them all of my life, and I can tell you that 'fun' isn't the first thing that comes to mind when we talk about life. For one thing it feels as though every day is a constant struggle just to stay alive, what with the need to find food, employment, shelter, and avoid the usual trouble with monsters and wild beasts, to say nothing of plagues, famines, the odd war and the occasional Earthquake..."

"Yes, I know," Hermes nodded, "And I sympathize, believe me. I could tell you horror stories that would wring your heart Bro...I've been watching ordinary people struggle just to stay alive for close to a thousand years now, so you're preaching to the converted...but what are you gonna do about it?"

"Try to help out?" Herakles asked.

"That's a pretty noble sentiment, Bro," Hermes replied, "And I do what I can to help out now and then, but...well...to be pretty blunt about it, if you get worked up too much about the injustices inherent in the system, it could drive you mad. There's just so much of it out there, more than any one God can handle, especially since some of those troubles are caused by those of us who think it's fun to mess around with Mortals."

"But that's awful!" Herakles protested.

"Hey, it could be worse," Hermes shrugged, "Benign neglect or malign abuse, either way the taxes still have to be paid on time, and somebody has to pay the piper. You'll understand in time why that is, and how things could be a lot worse under a different system."

"Worse?" Herakles said, "How can it be worse?"

"You weren't around when Uranus was running the whole show," Hermes replied, "But I've talked to Titans and Immortals who were, and from all accounts the guy was a real tyrant. He'd sit up high on this mountain and scowl a lot, then raise a fuss anytime somebody questioned his authority. He locked up his own children and a heck of a lot of Political prisoners down in Tartarus, just about anybody who got on the bad side of the guy...small wonder his own son castrated him when he got out of prison."

"Eyuck!" Herakles winced.

"Yeah, tell me about it," Hermes sniffed, "Compared to him, Dad's a real improvement. You might not know it to look, but I'd pick the current system any day over some all-powerful tyrant who wouldn't even let you take a breath without his permission."

"Still doesn't seem right, Immortals picking on Mortals..." Herakles scowled.

"Who said it was right, or even fair?" Hermes replied, "There's always room for improvement. At least Dad doesn't try to stifle progress, like Chronos did. Grandpa wanted to make the world into a paradise, but his idea of paradise was static and unchanging. He'd make his perfect society, and anybody who didn't quite fit in would get excluded on the fringes."

"Is it true what they say about him swallowing his own children?" Herakles asked.

"Just a metaphor," Hermes sniffed, "Bard talk exaggerating the real circumstances. What Grandpa did was freeze his own kids in their private pocket dimensions, let them think they were masters of their own worlds. It was quite a shock for them when they got let out into the real world, let me tell you! Of course Dad managed to avoid that fate because Grandma Rhea hid him away among the Mortals...maybe that's why Dad's more of a people person than most ruling tyrants..."

"But why did he do that?" Herakles asked.

"Chronos was a paranoid kind of guy," Hermes replied, "Thought for certain one of his own kids would one day replace him, just like he did to his old man. Of course, Granddad thought he was being humane locking his kids away in their own private fantasy worlds, which was-admittedly-a vast improvement over what his old man did to him and the others. Imagine his surprise when they rebelled against his administration...which, of course, was caused by their sense of outrage over discovering the truth..."

"A real irony, huh?" Herakles noted.

"It's what they call in the Oracle trade a self-fulfilling prophesy," Hermes smiled, "Of course Dad has the same paranoia deep down, but he does a better job of hiding it. Keep that in mind if you ever think about talking back to his face, like you almost did back there. Dad knows that one of these days a child of his loins could rise up to challenge his authority, and who knows what kind of system we'd be stuck with if that happens?"

"Hey, I don't want his job!" Herakles protested.

"But how is he to know that?" Hermes pointed out, "You talk like you think that there's a better way of doing things...that's how revolutions start. Right now Dad's being the proud father because you're an up-and-coming hero, but one day, maybe centuries down the line, when you've made a name for yourself and get promoted to the full-fledged ranks of the Immortals...then you could find yourself looking suspiciously like the heir apparent, especially for those ambitious types who'd like to ride on your coat tails."

"What are coat tails?" Herakles asked.

"Just a metaphor, work with me on this, Herk," Hermes urged.

"But I don't see how I could ever take Dad's place," Herakles insisted, "He's...huge..."

"When you get to be a full fledged god, you kind of learn to grow into the profession," Hermes replied, "Don't think it could happen? Just think about Sister Athena. There was a rumor floating around, back when she got pregnant, that the child of Metis would one day sit on the throne of Heaven."

"You're kidding!" Herakles exclaimed.

"Wish I was," Hermes confided, "Personally I think that rumor got started by Hera, who wanted to cause trouble and make Zeus banish her latest rival. The Bards like to exaggerate, like that yarn they tell of Zeus swallowing Metis whole, and after nine months he gets a headache, asks brother Hephaestus to crack his skull open, and out springs Athena, full grown and already dressed in armor."

"Yikes!" Herakles blinked, "Is that what happened?"

"Of course not," Hermes sniffed, "Don't be a rube, Bro...Dad's not into cannibalism. It's just another metaphor...what actually happened was that Dad got paranoid and wanted to send her away, but Metis didn't want to go, so she yelled and yelled until she gave him a headache, after which he sent her to Earth where she had Athena, who also grew up among Mortals."

"She did?" Herakles blinked, "Wow, I didn't know that..."

"From humble beginnings grows a legend," Hermes quoted, "The reason they say she sprang fore bore is that a mortal's lifetime is so brief it almost seems like an eyeflick to us. One minute she's a baby, the next thing you know she's a warrior maid with her own suit of brass armor. After a while you just come to take certain things in stride, like she's always been there, know what I mean?"

"Yeah," Herakles said in a somewhat distracted tone of voice, "She really is something..."

Hermes noted the wistful tone and smiled to himself, then he pointed at a nearby building at one side of the broad pathway they followed and said, "Why don't we stop in here and I'll buy you a drink, Bro."

Herakles saw the building in question and said, "What is that?"

"It's Dionysus's place," Hermes replied, "Nearest thing we've got to a Pub, or a Men's Social outfit. C'mon, the food's good, the wine flows freely and the women are hot...and-best of all-you won't catch anything contagious."

"Are you sure it's what we ought to do?" Herakles asked, "I thought we were returning to Earth..."

"We'll get there soon enough," Hermes replied, already headed for the door, "Besides, I'm waiting for something before I join you in your matrimonial quest. C'mon, all of the best Gods like to drop in here to waste a few hours, and you might even meet a few members of the family you haven't seen yet."

"Well..." Herakles said as he reluctantly allowed himself to be led into the building, pausing to study the architecture at the front before saying, "Hey, what do you call this material anyway? It's all white and...hard..." he felt it with one hand, amazed at the smoothness of its surface.

"They call it Marble," Hermes replied, "It's the latest thing. Apollo got the idea during a visit he paid to Egypt chasing after a certain Goddess Who Will Go Unnamed. He's thinking of calling it Doric architecture..."

"Doric?" Herakles sniffed, "I've been among Dorians a good chunk of my life and I've never seen anything like this. Looks expensive."

"It is," Hermes replied, "But it's also fireproof. I figure it might take a few centuries before it catches on down below, but once the Kings and Princes get a load of this stuff it'll catch on like Promethean fire."

"I dunno," Herakles said dubiously, "Prefabricated stone for buildings...that would take a lot of man hours...not for me, of course, but how would Mortals lift something that heavy into place?"

"I'm sure they'll figure something out," Hermes remarked, "Mortals can be pretty resourceful that way, but if you asked brother Heph, I'm sure he could give you a technical answer."

"Yeah?" Herakles sniffed as they proceeded into the building, "Well, when do I get to meet brother Hephaestus? He sounds like a real...miracle...worker...?"

His tone dropped away as he stared in amazement at the sight that awaited him, a scene of wanton debauchery and revelry unlike anything he'd seen outside of a Fertility festival. All around them were men and women (or Gods and Goddesses) either reclined or "celebrating" in an atmosphere of informal sensualism, some making out quite obviously without any hesitation or inhibitions. The clothing style was almost nonexistent in some places, and the way that the people were carrying on in total abandon showed that this was a place that moralists and cynics of later ages would recoil from in horror.

For Herakles it was simply...disconcerting...

"Whoah," he said with rounded eyes, seeing more interesting anatomy on display than in a Life Model class.

"Hey, you'll get used to it," Hermes clapped him on the shoulder, "Have a seat, I'll summon up a Nymph and she'll fetch us a couple cups of Ambrosia."

Herakles let himself be moved to sit down on a heavy pile of pillows, a country boy unused to the way things were done in the "wicked big city." A cup was thrust into his hand by a lovely pair of hands, and as he turned to follow them up to take in the rest of the body he saw a smiling Nymph giving him a suggestive leer...the kind that made his loin cloth rise up like a flag post.

"How do you do," she said with a sensual purr, "Haven't seen you around here before, Handsome..."

"He's new here, Daphne," Hermes explained, already sporting his own cup, "Have a sip, Herk...but be careful, this stuff is potent."

Herakles took a sip and almost spat it out, for the fluid he drank felt like liquefied lightning, burning the tongue and causing his whole body to convulse with unexpected reaction.

"What...is this stuff?" he wheezed hoarsely.

"Never tried Ambrosia before, handsome?" Daphne smiled, "Don't worry, it gets easier after the first sip."

"It's the mortal part of you that's reacting so powerful to the brew, Herk," Hermes revealed, "The stuff is brewed from the Apples of Immortality, and I figure it should give the divine part of you a real pick-me-up for your travels. I guarantee you won't find anything like this back down on Earth."

"I'll bet," Herakles tried another sip of the stuff, finding it a little easier to get down on the second try, though it still felt like he was drinking liquid fire even with a few drops on his tongue.

"Now, as for the rest of the family," Hermes began to point them out, "See that guy dancing on the table, the one with the goat legs? That's Pan."

"Pan?" Herakles tried to focus his eyes as he followed the head nod of his older half-brother, "You mean...the guy with the lampshade on his head, the one who looks like a slimmer version of Uncle Genma?" He paused before asking, "What's a lampshade?"

"Pan's a wild one, Patron of herdsmen and the like," Hermes turned and made a pass with his hand in another direction, "And over there...that bright spot in the room? The human glow wand? That's brother Apollo."

"Apollo?" Herakles stared across the room at a blonde haired youth who was surrounded with beautiful women, some in his lap, others peeling grapes and hand-feeding him with great affection. A thought stirred in his head and Herakles asked, "But it's daylight outside..."

"Hey, he's a God," Hermes replied, "He can be out driving the Sun chariot while a part of him is in here having a good time. It's called Daylighting, or Being in two places at once...takes real power and a lot of concentration to make a perfect copy that can temporarily exist outside of yourself, just one of the perks of being a God. Of course if you ask Athena, she'll tell you that the Sun doesn't really travel across the sky in a chariot, but that's the problem with our sweet sister...she gets way too many funny ideas out of book learning."

"Looks like a popular guy," Herakles frowned, "Sure has a lot of girlfriends..."

"No kidding," Hermes sniffed, "Guy thinks he's Heaven's gift to women...literally. Doesn't even have to work at it most of the time, but once in a while a girl gives him a run for it. He's not really all that bad a sort deep down, but at times he can be pretty peevish, even vindictive and childish."

"You mean worse than usual?" Herakles sniffed.

"You really are new around here, Stranger," Daphne mused, "Apollo lives for the chase...I ought to know. He used to chase me a lot...promised me the known world, Yadda Yadda..."

"Ex-girlfriend?" Herakles lifted an eyebrow as he began to take more serious notice of the beautiful blonde Nymph.

"One of a legion," Daphne sighed, "What can I say? He's a legend in his own mind...good in bed, but he'll bore you to tears with poetry and song. Just once in a while I'd wish he'd be interested in a decent conversation..."

"Didn't know he was that shallow," Herakles noted.

"Lots of male Gods are," Daphne replied, "It's not that I'm complaining, mind you...the sex was great, but as soon as he sees the new girl on the block, he forgets you even exist. Never calls, never writes...but he never takes No for an answer either. Some girls get a clue and let him have his way, knowing he'll lose their number with the next sunrise. What else are you going to do? Turn yourself into a bush, like Laurel?"

"Yeah, well...over there," Hermes gestured with his glass, "Over there in that corner, surrounded by the next pile of girls, that's brother Hephaestus."

"What?" Herakles sat up and stared across the room at a bearded God who was reveling with a circle of women even more gorgeous than the ones attending to Apollo, "That's Hephaestus?"

"The one and only," Daphne smiled, "And even more popular with the ladies than Apollo, if you want to know the truth about it."

"But...I thought...uh...well..." Herakles stammered.

"You thought he'd be a deformed old hunchback locked away in his Smith shop?" Hermes smirked, "Lots of people expect that, don't feel bad about it."

"Truth is, he used to be like that," Daphne revealed, "A thousand years ago he was as ugly as one of the Seven Sins released into the world by Pandora, poorly treated by his father, neglected by his mother, despised and even reviled by those who depended on his craftsmanship in forging useful things, besides weapons."

"So what happened?" Herakles asked.

"Believe it or not, sister Aphrodite happened," Hermes replied, "Dad set her up in marriage to him a short time after she migrated here from the Island of Cyprus, where Dione had her. Even then she was an unsurpassable beauty, and everybody came on to her-and I mean EVERYBODY, if you take my meaning..."

"Including Zeus, her own father," Daphne clarified.

"What?" Herakles blinked, "But that's..."

"Around here?" Hermes shrugged, "It's normal. Thing is...Aphrodite may look like a piece of fluff, and sometimes she even acts like a Bubblehead, but she's a lot smarter than she often lets on, and it didn't take her long to figure out how things worked around here. She knew if she did the Incest thing with Daddy Dearest, Hera would make things even more unpleasant for her than she had done with her mother, Dione."

"So Zeus got mad when she refused him," Daphne explained, "And in retaliation he forced her to marry her half-brother, Heph. I think he meant it as a kind of cruel joke, and Aphrodite made no secret about how she felt about the matter. Zeus insisted, she gave in, and for the next few hundred years she was the dutiful wife of the homeliest god in Olympus...that is until that thing between her and Ares happened."

"Oh yeah," Hermes rolled his eyes, "Back then brother Ares was quite the charmer, and Aphrodite went in for a real Jock like him, caught him when he was just off the battlefield, hot and sweaty, next thing you know she'll peeling off his armor and going at it like there's no tomorrow. Of course Heph didn't know about this for the first few decades...but after a while they got so outrageous about it that the rumors got to him, and then he knew that there was something fishy in the state of Olympus."

"So, being the inventive type that he is," Daphne resumed, "He heads back to the forge, crafts a net made of really fine mesh, then leaves it dangling right over his own bed before heading out to the mines to check on production. Of course the Dwarves are having a coffee break when he sneaks back and finds the net has done its job, catching the pair in Flagrante Delecto..."

"That's Gaul for 'Caught in the Act," Hephaestus clarified, "In other words...Aphrodite and Ares were busted but good."

"Heph made a big show about it," Daphne nodded, "Paraded the 'Lovers' in front of everybody, forced Aphi to own up to the fact that she'd mothered a child out of wedlock and had to admit that Hippolyta was her child by Ares."

"Hippolyta?" Herakles arched an eyebrow.

"She never quite forgave her mother over that," Daphne sighed, "In a way I think it contributed to her eventual decision to leave Olympus and form that Amazon colony of Renunciates on Earth, along with her other sisters, who were born years later, after Aphrodite officially married Ares. Of course, before any of that could happen, she first had to get a divorce from her first husband."

"Tough fight that was," Hermes sniffed, "Hera was dead set against anyone getting out of a marriage...leaving feet first was the only way she'd be prepared to allow, and afterwards the surviving spouse was expected to remain faithful to the shade of their departed mate. Dad was a bit more sympathetic...I think you can understand why he'd like an escape clause to any marriage...but the problem with forcing Heph and Aphi back together was that their marriage was pretty much revealed to be a fiction, no one doubted it was over at that point, not even Hera."

"So eventually Aphrodite was allowed to exit her marriage and officially declare for Ares," Daphne smiled, "And when that was over, a couple of centuries later, she and Ares agreed to see other people, and ever since then they've been playing the field...especially Aphrodite."

"The weird thing is," Hermes sniffed in amusement, "The one who came out the winner in all that was Hephaestus. He'd had a few years of sex, which got him over his earlier shyness, and when his wife's infidelity became public he got a huge sympathy vote, and before you knew it he was everybody's buddy...especially the ladies."

"Turns out he's a real sensitive guy underneath it all," Daphne snorted in the direction of Apollo, "More brains even than brawn, and quite a lot of brawn at that...and a real genius in the sack, believe it or not. Guess Aphrodite wasn't satisfied just to take it like a corpse...she probably worked a few spells to improve his equipment, and taught him a heck of a lot about foreplay."

"Before you knew it he was getting visited by every Nymph and Goddess who heard the rumors about his nocturnal prowess," Hermes noted, "And before too long Heph was spending as much time outside his shop as in it, and delegating a lot more responsibility to his staff of Gnomes and Salamanders. Then he gets inspired to create something he calls Plastic Surgery, starts dressing like an Executive type, begins patenting inventions that Humans won't think up for hundreds of years yet to come..."

"And then he invents the Printed Scroll," Daphne reached into her toga and pulled out an example, "A really neat way of mass producing printed words and pictures. Have a look at one of his most popular inventions."

With that she unrolled the scroll and gave Herakles a real eyeful, to which Herakles almost spat out his latest sip of Ambrosia.

"Uh..." he gulped, "That's...a pretty detailed drawing..."

"It's me," Daphne grinned, "Miss Julio of the year 1276...like it?"

"It's called a 'Gentleman's Publication," Hermes explained, "A fancy way of saying Graphic Illustrations of Women...'"

"And not just women," Daphne pulled a second scroll out of her toga and revealed its contents, which caused Herakles's eyes to widen even more than a fraction.

"Oh yeah...Atlas," Hermes turned his head sideways as he studied the nude illustration, "Um...just how long is that thing anyway? I mean...given the guy's immense size..."

"Good thing it's usually hidden among the clouds," Daphne mused, "It might frighten the children and leave the men of Earth perpetually intimidated."

"As you can guess," Hermes continued, "These scrolls are very popular, and by selling them, Heph has made quite a tidy little fortune. The idea's even caught on...Dionysus and Pan are even running their own rival monthly publications featuring the Nymphs and Goddesses of their choice. Playboys in Penthouses are Hustling everywhere to get a glimpse of the Cheri, and even ball-busters like Artemis say Oui to posing themselves, just as long as they get celebrated in the immortal hand of the best illustrators in Olympus."

"These days they call him Heph the Huge," Daphne grinned, "And I can definitely confirm that the nick-name suits him just dandy!"

"And where is Dionysus anyway?" Herakles asked.

"Over there, circulating among the guests, playing host to the eternal party," Daphne nodded as she put away the scrolls once again (though Herakles doubted that she could hide anything wider than a finger in the filmy toga that she was wearing).

Herakles saw a rotund man with a huge belly and a balding head going around from one group of patrons to another, stopping only to take in Herakles, to which he made a round-eyed face and cried, "Well, Sun Bless my eyes, if it isn't Herakles, our new half-brother!"

"Uh...hi," Herakles waved his cup at the god, who seemed to have some kind of grapevine growing all throughout his toga.

Daphne did an almost comical reaction and gasped, "You're Herakles? You're the one everybody's talking about! Oh my Divinity! I never even guessed!"

"Er...well..." Herakles winced slightly.

"HEY EVERYBODY, IT'S HERAKLES!" Daphne called out, pointing to him.

All at once there were men and women who got up and surrounded their divan, the women gawking, the men silently appraising the new competition (though more than a few seemed to share an open appreciation for his Manly characteristics rivaling that of the women). All of which made Herakles feel extremely nervous and self-conscious, especially when these well-wishers started repeating the rumors about them, only a few of which came close to being accurate, though how they could have already known about the Contest of the Twelve Labors was simply beyond him.

"Can I get your Autograph?" Daphne asked, exposing her breasts to full view and offering one with a writing stylus in one of her hands.

"Ah...well..." Herakles swallowed, feeling like a trapped animal, feeling certain that the hounds were about to fall upon him into a mass orgy at any second.

All at once a young-looking man sporting a pair of wings came drifting down from the ceiling, spied the commotion surrounding Herakles and called down, "Having fun are we, Uncle?"

"Who?" Herakles asked as the crowd parted its ways a bit to permit the young man to make a graceful landing.

"Eros is my given name," the winged man replied, "Though many call me Cupid. The real Eros is my distant ancestor, the Titan, but...I'm remiss in my duties. You wanted to see a copy of this, Uncle?"

"Thanks Nephew," Hermes said as the winged youth handed him a scroll, and after a moment of pausing to peruse it, Hermes smiled and handed it back, "Just the thing I needed."

"Anytime," the winged man smiled, then gave the crowd an amiable smile that caused them to back away in real terror, "Do you mind not crowding Uncle Herakles so much? He's new in town, and he's going to think that we of Olympus have no manners whatsoever."

"What's everybody so scared about?" Herakles stage-whispered to Hermes.

"Would you like a taste of his arrows if you get on Cupid's bad side?" Hermes murmured back, "These guys love to party, but getting seriously romantic would really cut into their action..."

"Well said," the blond haired Apollo mused as he came to stand over them all, giving a respectful nod before saying, "So, you're Herakles...is it true that you've got my sister fighting over you with those two harpies, Athena and Aphrodite?"

"Who...Artemis?" Herakles gasped, "Are you kidding me? She was looking at me earlier like she wanted to gut and clean me, then hang my head over her mantle."

That seemed to reassure and amuse the incredibly handsome blond man, who sat down and said, "Well met indeed, that sounds just like Arti. She never could see the virtues of the male sex, not even of me, can you believe it? Have a drink, Brother, and let us toast to your stay here on Mount Olympus."

"Wish I could stay," Herakles replied, "But Dad wants me to get going...Hecate..."

"I've already heard about it," Apollo replied, "That old Witch trapped you into making a bet that you could perform twelve tasks of her choosing, otherwise she'll force you to marry that Ball-buster, our Niece, Hippi..."

"Uh...well," Herakles started to correct the story, then thought better of it.

"You were right about one thing, Bro," Hermes revealed, "Athena and Aphrodite are after his bod, so they're in the game too. Arti wanted to opt out, but Dad forced her to become a player..."

"That figures," Apollo sighed, "Dad never could accept Arti's resolve to remain a devout virgin...hmm...come to think of it, neither can Arti. She really put the Nymph into the word Nymphomania, eh?"

"Oh yeah," Herakles said faintly, "I kinda got that impression..."

"Well, good luck to you then," Apollo raised his cup in salute, "Hope you survive and all that, be a shame if you found your way down in Uncle Hade's realm...not much fun goes on there, let me tell you..."

Hermes tapped Herakles on the shoulder, "We gotta go, Bro. Sorry, People...this Man-God's got a Date with Destiny and all that...and with three Goddesses nipping at his heels looking to marry him..."

"Marriage?" Daphne frowned, "Aw, what a shame...and he's such a nice guy too...think maybe he'd like to pose for the next month's scroll of Playgirl?"

"Ah..." Herakles started to say when he was almost literally dragged from the midst of the crowd by Hermes, who seemed very eager to get him out of there all of a sudden, almost as much as he had been to bring him to this den of sensual pleasure in the first place.

The oddest thing was, nobody seemed to be looking towards them as they approached the exit, as though they had suddenly turned invisible all of a sudden...as illustrated when Herakles accidentally bumped into one guy who had obviously not seen him coming.

"Oops!" said the goat-legged Pan, "Sorry about-WHOAH! Hey now, Baby, where did you come from all of a sudden?"

"Thebes," Herakles winced as she felt the trail of wine sliding down her now-  
feminine body, realizing that Hecate's curse was not exclusive to water, or else someone was watering the drinks around this place.

"What a knockout!" Pan looked her over up and down with an appreciative glance, "What name do they call you by, Baby?"

"Alcides," Hermes replied, thinking fast, "Now, if you'll excuse us..."

All at once Herakles felt an arm go around her shoulders and found Apollo leaning close to her face with an expression that was a bit more than Brotherly in its affection.

"That's just what I wanted to know," the golden haired Olympian leered, "Do you come here often? I've never yet seen you in these parts, Good Looking..."

"BACK OFF!" Herakles cried as her fist found Apollo's face with enough force to send the Sun God into low-Earth orbit, "I ain't in the mood-BRO!"

"Whoah!" Pan said again, sheltering his eyes at the new sunhole put in the roof of the building, "When I said Knockout, I really mean a Knock Out!"

Hermes put hand to Herakles's shoulder, and all at once everything seemed to freeze all around them. The next thing he knew they were out in the streets and headed down the pathway at a very quick pace, Hermes all but dragging Herakles behind him.

"Hey, what's your hurry?" Herakles gasped.

"Do you have any idea what you just did?" Hermes demanded, allowing real fear to be heard in his voice, "You've just punched the most Egotistical girl-chaser in Olympus, second only to Dad in lechery and carnal lust...and in the FACE no less! Now he's going to be after you BIG TIME!"

"I can handle a Masher like him," Herakles insisted, "And he had no business latching on to me like that..."

"Try telling that to him!" Hermes insisted, slowing their pace down as they came to the fringes of the city complex, "Next time he sees you in your female form he's definitely going to make an issue of it, and as you already heard from Daphne back there, he never takes No for an answer!"

"Okay, so maybe I was a bit hasty," Herakles averred as she sulked about the matter, "But I still don't see why I should let a guy paw me, just because he's a God, not to mention my brother..."

"Perhaps I didn't make this very plain before," Hermes tried more reasonably, "But do keep in mind that he's a full-fledged GOD with centuries of experience in the use of his divine powers, while you're still at least part mortal and barely know the true limits of your divine power?"

"Well..." Herakles amended.

"Also too," Hermes continued, "When he does find you in your female half, he's not just going to want a kiss out of you, not even a mild handshake..."

"You mean...?" Herakles winced, "That's disgusting...!"

"There you are, Boy!" Uncle Genma suddenly hailed him, causing Herakles and Hermes to whirl around in time to find the Satyr standing there with a full pack strapped across his back, "I thought if I waited here long enough you would show up..."

"How did you know where to find me?" Herakles asked.

"Simple," Genma replied, "This is the main road out of town, and I knew if I left you alone long enough you were bound to get into trouble."

"I see," Hermes said suspiciously, "And what's with the pack?"

"Souvenirs," Genma replied with an expression that dared anyone to question him on that, "Just a few trinkets to help us along the way...do you have a problem with that?"

"That all depends," Hermes said slyly, "I'm the patron of Thieves and Lawyers, among other things, so...if I got a cut of your action, I might decide not to tell Dad about it."

"I see," Genma frowned, "Would thirty percent be enough?"

"For you?" Hermes kept smiling, "Maybe."

"Forty-Sixty?" Genma asked.

"That might suffice," Hermes drawled, "Assuming I'm generous enough to allow you to keep your forty..."

"Would you two knock it off already!" Herakles cut into their negotiations, "We're not thieves, and you're not taking that away from here, Uncle Genma. I've told you before not to steal things, and you know how much trouble that always gets us into..."

"Um...could we table this discussion until later, Herk?" Hermes said nervously as he glanced skyward, "I think you knocked Apollo all the way around the world, and he's about to make a reentry..."

"But the world's not round..." Herakles started to say when the God of Speed hastily erected a circle-like portal in the air in front of them.

"Take my word on it this one time, okay?" Hermes asked as he grabbed Herakles by the wrist and said to Genma, "Every Man-God for himself!"

He didn't need to say that twice as Genma got the hint, and with that all three of them stepped into the portal and vanished from Olympus.

The next moment a Sun chariot came drifting down to make a smooth landing on the tarmac, and then Apollo looked around and said, "Damn...just missed her! Who was that beauty? She hits like a Cyclopes...I like that in a woman! I simply must see her again...she could very well be my ten thousandth conquest!"

And with that the golden haired son of Zeus began to dream lustful dreams of a wheat-haired lovely, all the while unknowing how his brother named Ares was watching this from concealment.

"Interesting," he mused with a red-eyed gleam, "Maybe I put this to my advantage...Deimos, Phobos, front and center!"

With a sulfurous poof, his two war-like sons appeared, dressed like Spartan warriors and looking ready to go into action.

"Yessir!" Deimos saluted, "Reporting for duty as ordered, Sir!"

"Just give the word, General," Phobos reported, "The troops stand ready to go into battle."

"At ease, Men," Ares said with a nod, "I've got a job for you, boys...one I'd like you to carry out for me without hesitation or questions, am I clear on that?"

"Sir?" Deimos asked of his father.

"I'd like for you to sneak into Tartarus, infiltrate Uncle Hade's realm and steal away for me a sample of the waters of Leth...think you can handle that one, Boy?"

"Leth, Sir?" Deimos said nervously.

"But won't Grandfather Hades...?" Phobos swallowed.

"Not if you're clever and resourceful," Ares said stiffly, "Remember, Men, this is for the fate of Olympus. We must keep our bloodlines pure and strong, which means protecting my sisters from their own excessive hormones."

"But Sir," Deimos replied, "If one drop of the waters of Leth should touch even us...?"

"...We could wind up forgetting our own name, rank and serial number...not to mention everyone else!" Phobos seconded.

"Good," Ares mused, "Then if the enemy catches you, you won't be able to divulge anything under interrogation."

His two sons exchanged a dubious look over that subject.

"On your way, Boys," Ares commanded, then when his sons vanished into a second puff of smoke, then turned around and rubbed his hands together gleefully, murmuring to himself, "With a few drops of that, mixed in with one of Eris's potions, I can make the boy forget all about his quest and have him fall in love with a creature of my choosing...maybe even brother Apollo! This is just too perfect!"

And with that he gave a mirthful chuckle that would have chilled the blood of a hellhound...

Continued.

Comments/Criticisms/Cerebus, Not the Aardvark: shadowmane

What evil, wicked, nefarious scheme is the War God hatching, and will our hero/heroine be able to escape such mischief? And what will Herakles encounter when he returns to the world of Mortals to begin his daunting quest...and which of the Goddesses will he first encounter? Find out next time in: "Chariots of Desire," or "Hanging Out with the Hydra!" Be there!

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If you wish to check out my other works, Please check out my Fanfiction webpage at: . All related chapters of this series can be found there along with my other works.  



	5. Chapter 5

Hercules 5

Hercules 1/2

"GENMA SAOTOME'S TIME AND SPACE MISADVENTURES!"

by Jim Robert Bader

(Inspired by the works of Rumiko Takahashi with a hearty dose of throwing the Bullfinch!)

Chapter Five.

Amazonia, Themiscrya, West of the Black Sea-1254 BC (Modern Day Romania) Summer Palace

"Sister," Oresteis said to her elder sibling, "Are you certain that this is wise? Going up against our kinswomen like this, and over some debate about a male half-Immortal..."

"Your objections are duly noted, Sister," Hippolyta smiled smugly, "But I will not only compete against our divine kinswomen, I will prevail and in the end have a fine husband to do my washing and cleaning."

"Are you sure that's the only reason you want this man for your husband?" Melanippe asked with some suspicion, "It wouldn't happen to be because he was good enough to best you in both archery and arms, your two strongest aspects?"

"That has nothing to do with it," Hippolyta sniffed, "And he got lucky with the arrow...that beast should have been mine by right. As for him besting me in battle...I knew not what I was dealing with at the time. In our next encounter I will be better prepared to match him as an equal."

"Oh really?" Antiope smiled slyly, "It wouldn't happen to be because he's got a nice tush?"

"Honest, Sister," Penthesilea-the youngest present-gave her blonde haired elder a condescending snort, "He's just a man, even if he is the son of Zeus. What would father think about you gushing on about a guy, even if he is seven feet tall and built like a solid wall of muscle."

"He also has a curse that turns him into a woman," Oresteis pointed out, "Which makes him almost as good as an Amazon at such times as when it is in effect."

"So, what's your point?" Hippolyta leered sidelong, "That just sweetens the deal for me, even if Hecate's curse is only temporary."

"Sister," Melanippe just sighed, "You can be so impossible with your endless stream of meaningless affairs. When are you going to choose a Sword Companion and just settle down for once? Men are only good for breeding, it takes a woman to truly liven up a night in the cot."

"Or in your case, several," Penthesilea pointed out, making fun of Melanippe's penchant for holding all-girl Stag parties in honor of Artemis.

"Hey, it takes a lot of women to keep Meli happy," Antiope grinned, "She's more woman than half a dozen put together."

"Laugh all you want, Sisters," Oresteis said soberly, "But I see no good coming out of your having an affair with this particular Son of Zeus...after all, he's technically your Uncle?"

"So?" Hippolyta replied, "That just means he comes from good stock, just like Father. Besides which, there is the law to keep in mind...just because I got a little careless and wound up at a temporary disadvantage doesn't mean I'll stay on the down side for very long, and once I convince this Herakles that I'm the woman born to be his Mistress, then I'll bring him home and teach him the proper way to respect a woman. That should please Hecate and show Father I mean business!"

"So, how do you plan on conquering this God among Men?" Oresteis asked dubiously, "You know our Divine Aunts and Patron Goddesses are already plotting to win him over through their own means, and I wouldn't put it past any of them to engage in a little cheating."

"Let them do what they will," Hippolyta snorted, "They're used to having their way in everything back on Mount Olympus, but here among the Mortals, we have the advantage. We've been living here on Earth for close to a thousand years, ever since we founded the Amazon nation. Remember how it was when we found this pitiable wilderness on the fringes of the Known World? How we found a society in ruins, destitute, trampled over, and with our leadership built it into a great nation, one that challenges the Patriarchal Lands to the South and West? We are Amazons, we want for nothing! We do not stoop to beg for our means, we conquer!"

"A good speech," Melanippe noted, "So...when are you going to initiate your campaign to wind over your husband?"

"Soon enough," Hippolyta replied, "Once we set affairs in order here...then I'll go on a little sabbatical into the land of the Thebans. That is where the Goddess says that my future husband travel, and once I find him I'll do my very utmost to convince him that I am the woman for him, or I shall know the reason why not!"

"This should be something," Antiope smirked, "I can't even remember the last time any of us paid a visit to the people in the south. Is it true that the Mediterranean is as blue as Turquoise this time of year?"

"It is," Penthesilea replied, "Don't forget, I went to visit with the Hittites a few hundred seasons back, when we founded that trade colony on the Island of Lesbos. The world down south is much as we remember it, Sisters, even if the Cretan Empire is in decline and the rise of Mycenea threatens our Western holdings."

"Ah yes, Lesbos," Hippolyta smiled, "I've heard it can be a very romantic place, full of poets and soothsayers, and a real attraction to the tourists. Perhaps I will tarry there during my visit down south and see if the climate...and the people...are much to my liking."

"Thinking of taking your husband down there with you?" Antiope smiled, "Now that really would be romantic..."

All at once the blonde haired middle-daughter caught her breath as an invisible finger touched her in a spot between the shoulder blades. At the moment none of her older sisters were paying her any attention, else they might have noticed that her hair briefly turned white, then silver, before becoming lustrous gold once again, settling in to a shining White-Gold coloration as Antiope smiled and straightened up again, her eyes suddenly shining with an inner light that was supernaturally vibrant.

"Yes, Romantic," Hippolyta mused, not catching the sudden gasp and transformation of her younger sibling, "That would be a most excellent suggestion. Well, enough musing on my future matrimonial and travel prospects, we have a Queendom to run, and the herds need to be shepherded to their summer pastures before I can even think of going on vacation from my Queenly duties."

"We'll have to make explanations to our people to account for your momentary absence," Melanippe noted, "I'm sure they'll be supportive once they know that you will be bringing back a strong husband to father many strapping daughters."

"I still think this is all a mistake," Oresteis shook her head in dismay, "This Herakles may prove to be more man than you are giving him credit. What say you on that subject, Antiope? Eh? Now where did she go?"

"That's odd," Penthesilea frowned, "I could swear that she was standing right beside me a moment ago, and I'm sure she didn't leave the room. Could she be somewhere else within the Palace?"

"Who knows with her?" Hippolyta smiled indulgently, "Antiope's the biggest romantic among us. If she isn't mooning about some man she's usually drooling over one of our younger warriors who has just come into full bloom as a woman."

"That pretty much describes you for the most part," Oresteis dutifully pointed out.

"So, what if I do like a little variety in my life?" Hippolyta sniffed, "It beats a steady diet of sameness on the palate, but I do agree with you on one thing, Sister dear...this Herakles is quite an unusual man. I believe that I will enjoy the challenge of this particular hunt, before bringing him home as my Trophy Husband, of course."

"Of course," Melanippe replied as if no other outcome could be expected, though in a very odd way she began to have pity for their younger kinsman, who was doubtlessly all innocent and unknowing of what fate awaited him when their divine Queen and eldest sister set her eyes upon his conquest, and the Heavens help whatever Man, Woman or God dared get in the path of Hippolyta's objective...

"So, what's the story about the Amazons, Bro?" Herakles asked as they started out on the trail that Hermes had chosen leading away from Mount Olympus, "Why are those women such man-haters anyway, especially that Hippolyta?"

"You mean our dear niece, your betrothed?" Hermes smiled in a teasing manner, "Kind of a long story with her, which begins with her being born out of wedlock as the illegitimate daughter of Ares and Aphrodite."

"You said it caused a real scandal when everybody found out about their infidelity, right?" Herakles urged his divine kinsman to continue.

"A scandal that didn't go away with the passage of the centuries," Hermes explained, "Even after Ares officially married Aphrodite and recognized Hippe as his get, she still felt isolated from the rest of Olympian society. Believe it or not, Ares turned out to be a pretty decent father figure, though, brought up Hippolyta to appreciate skill at arms and the hunt, treated her almost like a son, taught her all he knew about tactics and weaponry and turned her into a real hellion of a War-Goddess. She loved him for it, of course, but as she got older she started to question things more, letting her mother's side of her genes take over, making her curious about things like poetry, art and culture."

"Talk about a real division," Herakles sniffed.

"Actually, Ares tended to approve of her diversifying interest...at least at first. Our war-loving Big Brother loves a good heroic yarn, especially if there's a lot of bloodshed and carnage in the telling. His favorite kind of poem is one where everybody dies in the end, where wrongs are avenged and people go down to Hades's realm singing chants about the slaughter of their enemies, the wasting of villages and the raping of women..."

"Yeeesh!" Herakles winced.

"Yeah, that's what Hippolyta started to say after a while," Hermes agreed, "Like...she actually started to get these wild ideas in her head about...oh, I dunno...actually talking to people you meet instead of killing them outright. She began showing mercy to defeated enemies, taking them as prisoners of war if they appealed to her fancy and spending time getting to know them before taking them to bed for a little fun. She started to see the advantage of not killing all of her enemies, of making villages into tributaries who paid your armies to leave them alone. At first Ares tolerated these new ways since Hippolyta began winning a series of major battles and built up quite a small holding in Thrace...but eventually they had a falling out and a parting of ways. Hippolyta got angry and denounced her father over his treatment of female prisoners. She thought women were literally getting the shaft everywhere, and she thought her father wasn't even taking her serious enough anymore, even though she was his best general of armies."

"So she went to Earth and became a Demigoddess?" Herakles asked.

"She and four of her sisters, who became her loyal lieutenants," Hermes nodded, "By this time the romance between Aphrodite and Ares was starting to get a little cool...they'd had about a dozen kids between them, but Aphi was starting to chafe about Ares always being away fighting battles while she stayed at home and managed the servants who had to look after the kids. One day she took Hippolyta's side in an argument about whether women were better than men at running their own society, and like that Ares blew a tantrum and told Hippe that if she thought she could make such a good ruler than she ought to go out and found her own Kingdom."

"So she did?" Herakles asked.

"Sure shut him up on that subject," Hermes replied, "What happened was that Hippolyta and her four sisters went beyond the borders of Thrace into the great Unknown territories along the Black Sea, and there they discovered a nomadic society of Steppe Horsemen called the Scythians living out on the fringes of the Known World. This tribe they discovered had just been in a battle with a rival clan...the men went off to war and got ambushed, slaughtered almost to a man and boy, leaving their women alone to look after the cattle. There's every chance that-if Hippe and her sisters hadn't acted-those women would have fallen prey next to their voracious neighbors. Instead Hippolyta came across a woman grieving for her slain husband, praying to the Gods for relief, and in a trice she merged with that Mortal and became the Avatar she is today. Same story with the others...and like that they became the five Queens of Amazonia, organizing the women of their clan into the basis for a future army. They conquered the rest of the Scythian tribes and united them into a society of female-dominant horse archers who worship Artemis and fiercely raid the borders of what they condescendingly call 'Man's World.' They've been living on the fringes ever since and have since created a very powerful society that's easily the equal of all the nation-states combined to the South."

"So how come they haven't taken over?" Herakles wondered.

"They tried that a few centuries ago," Hermes revealed, "Pushed south past Thebes and well into Thrace itself, laying waste to the armies which tried to stand up against their arrows. The Amazons were one of the first people to use a kind of recurved bow that used horn and sinew to give it extra strength, and with an iron-tipped arrow head they can put a shaft right through a bronze shield at a hundred paces."

"Yikes," Herakles winced, recalling his own narrow encounter with such a fearsome weapon.

"What stopped them was Bellerophon," Hermes continued, "Son of Glaucus and an Amazon named Eurymede. His father had defeated his mother in battle...guess you already know what that means, so he learned archery from her and was a pretty competent general in his own right. Accidentally killed his brother in a hunting accident...I think Artemis was behind that. He took up employment with the King of Tiryns, after which he made a name for himself by capturing a Pegasus-one of Dad's sacred winged horses-and using him to help him kill a Chimaera. After a number of good career moves like that he led an army that stopped the Amazon advance at the battle of Chalidice. With a Winged Horse helping him to scout out the terrain he was able to spot the Amazon positions and outflank them, luring them out where his cavalry men were able to turn the tide against the invaders. After that the Amazons laid low for a few generations, building back their numbers and vowing revenge in their next big encounter."

"So what happened to Bellerophon?" Herakles wondered.

"What happens to a lot of guys who get too big for their loin cloths?" Hermes asked rhetorically, "The guy got uppity and got himself smacked down by Dad for bragging he didn't need any help from the Gods to get where he was. Most heroes who followed after him took the hint and learned to make the proper sacrifices, at least for the sake of appearances."

"So...how does this society of their work anyway?" Herakles asked, "Do they really enslave their own husbands?"

"Most don't even take husbands," Hermes replied, "Early on the established trade policies with their neighbors and colonies which allows an Amazon to sleep with any man of her choosing at the proper time and season. Any son born of that union gets returned to his father and labors as a worker, but daughters go to live with their mothers and are taught to be good little Amazon soldiers. They re not really looking for equality with men, you see...to Hippolyta and her sisters, Men are only good for procreation. They want to prove that women are superior to men in every way as a kind of 'I told you so' statement to Ares, their father. That's why the Amazons are known as 'The Daughters of Ares,' even though they despise the male half of the divine pantheon and everything it stands for."

"So why hasn't Dad stepped in and done something about them until now?" Herakles asked, "Doesn't exactly sound like the kind of thing he'd stand for..."

"It's not," Hermes replied, "But Hera thinks the idea of women being on top is a just peachy, so she talked him into allowing their granddaughters to do what they want with their Mortals, and just as long as they remember to sacrifice in the name of the Goddesses, she's happy to let things slide, even if she is kind of irked about the 'No Marriage' that used to be in effect. In fact, she's the one who talked Zeus into declaring that an Amazon who gets beaten by a man has to acknowledge him as her husband."

"That figures," Herakles snorted.

"Of course Hippe can sometimes overstep herself, like that time she got into a pissing contest with Dionysus, back before our wine-loving brother started to put on a little weight and growing a bald spot. In the old days he was a strapping and handsome God who thought any woman should be glad to genuflect before him, like those Manaeid man-eaters who follow him around like a cult. It's on account of him that Hippe has such a bad attitude towards the male sex, which kind of makes us all damned by association in her estimation."

"Lovely," Herakles rolled his eyes, "And now she's hot for my ass...that's just terrific."

"Well, it's better to have them love you than want to kill you, at least what I always say," Hermes mused, "Not that I blame you for being less than thrilled about your chances around her. Hippolyta's convinced that men are all brutish boors who'd like nothing better than to enslave all women as chattel..."

"So instead she wants to do it to us first, huh?" Herakles deduced.

"Yeah, but maybe you'll be the first guy to convince her that men aren't so bad after all," Hermes leered, "At least in the sack, that is."

"That ain't funny, Bro," Herakles sulked.

"Lighten up, little Bro," Hermes replied, "We got a long road ahead of us, and there's no sense crying over spilled goats milk..."

"If you two would make a little less noise, we might be able to get to where we're going without attracting the wrong sort of attention," Genma groused where he was hoofing along with his ill-gotten load of "souvenir trinkets."

"Keep your fur on, Pops," Herakles growled, carefully eyeing a passing cloud with the hope that it was not going to rain on their parade, which would make his day so far just perfect, "Um...one more question...what does Ares think about his kids being such vicious man-haters?"

"Actually, he couldn't be happier about their Warlike behavior," Hermes replied, "He may think a woman is good for only one thing, like Dad, but he's proud as can be about all the mayhem and destruction his daughters have wrecked over the years. He may condescend about Hippe having a peace-loving side to her nature, but as long as they don't openly challenge him he's content to let them serve as examples for brow-beating his soldiers. Like...sometimes he'll say to a new recruit who doesn't hack basic training, 'My daughter could kick your Ass from here to the Sea, and you're not worthy to lick her sandals!'"

"Tough coaching," Herakles noted.

"It gets results," Hermes turned a gaze off to the side of the trail and said, "Ah...here we are...just the place where I wanted to be."

"How's that again?" Herakles asked as he saw Hermes turn off onto the rough grass of a nearby hill, obligating him and Genma to follow after the fleet-  
footed God of Speed, who had until now been keeping the pace easy and level.

"My ride is here," Hermes revealed as they approached the apex of a low hill, "Nephew Cupid was kind enough to let me get a glimpse of Hade's roll sheet, and I found a name that'll suit me just fine, since Dad wants me to be your guide in the Mortal world."

"Roll sheet?" Genma asked, nervous at the mere mention of the God of Death.

"What name are you talking about?" Herakles frowned.

"His," Hermes pointed at a young boy...no more than fourteen or fifteen years of age, reclined against the base of a tree and fast asleep with a shepherd's crook curled up in his hands.

"Who's the kid?" Herakles wondered.

"His name is Iolaus," Hermes revealed, "A shepherd boy by trade, but not a very good one. He's a bit of a dreamer and tends to spend a lot of his free time thinking about things that are beyond the level of his imagination. I kind of identify with that...after all, my first job was as a Herdsman working to tend brother Apollo's flock."

"You were a shepherd?" Herakles blinked.

"Actually, I was a Thief at that young an age," Hermes sighed, "I stole Apollo's flock when he wasn't looking and gave it to my mother to pay the bills. He came calling a while after that, but I put on such an innocent act that he actually took a shine to me, especially when he found out about my penchant for invention."

"Invention?" Genma asked.

"I make musical instruments as a hobby," Hermes revealed, "I created the Pan Pipes and the Lyre. I was the first to work out the mathematical relationship between the length of a reed and the sound it produced...well, never mind...let's just say Apollo was a good sport about it and allowed me to work off my debt for a century or two, after which I became a Herald working for Dad, but I've never completely forgotten the carefree, idle moments that I used to enjoy tending sheep while wool gazing. The point is, I can identify with the lad in question...he's just like I used to be, only he's completely mortal."

"Fascinating," Genma tried not to sound bored, "But what has this to do with us?"

"Nothing," Hermes replied, "It's simply that the boy is fated to die this day, or so says the scroll of Uncle Hades."

"Die?" Herakles blinked, "Can't we do something about it?"

"Not you, Herk," Hermes replied, "This is my job. Just watch."

The God of Thieves and the Postal Service moved forward, walking up behind the tree and the sleeping boy without making a sound to disturb him. He then knelt down and stretched a hand through the tree, touching the boy on the back as though the tree itself dissolved to permit his passage.

Then all at once the outline of the God began to shimmer, and then it flowed through the tree, into the boy, causing said boy to stiffen, sitting up erectly as Hermes seemingly vanished.

The next thing that Genma and Herakles knew the young man was on his feet and was wielding his staff like a weapon, striking out at the ground just a bit off to his left and killing a Cockatrice that had been slowly sneaking up on him, not even having to look and risk being turned to stone as he did this.

"Now then," the boy said as he turned and smiled at Herakles and Genma, "I'm ready to travel with you full time, and not just as a tour guide either."

Herakles stared in amazement, seeing the boy straighten out and appear to grow a couple of inches and fill out even as his voice deepened in tone until he was a striking match for Hermes, even as his shepherd's crook changed into a Caduceus staff, reddish-gold and adorned with a pair of crossing serpents.

"Wow," Genma averred, secretly admiring the young man's now-full head of wheat colored hair, wishing that his own could be as lustrous colored.

"Hermes?" Herakles asked hesitantly.

"Call me Iolaus," the youth replied, "And as far as anyone on Earth knows, I'm your cousin on your mother's side."

"But what happened to the kid?" Herakles frowned slightly.

"Oh, he's still here," the youth pointed at his own head with a smile, "Only now there's two of us for the price of one. We've merged into a composite being, part God and part Mortal, an Avatar, if you will, and just the thing any wandering hero needs to be famous...a sidekick!"

"I see," Genma noted, "In other words you've found a disguise so people won't know that you're an Immortal."

"But what about the kid?" Herakles persisted, "Is he really okay about this?"

"What, compared to being turned to stone by the Cockatrice and dying?" Iolaus smiled, "Don't worry, I've already explained it to him. He's more than agreeable to having me as a room mate sharing the space between his ears."

"And what happens if you get hurt in that body?" Herakles wondered, "Or even killed?"

"Well, it's now as much my body as his, so you can bet I'm going to see to it that it's well protected," Iolaus assured him, "Don't worry...the boy will be well cared for, and when the times comes for me to take my leave of this body, he'll have his life back, better than before and touched by divinity."

"You don't say?" Genma mused, a speculative gleam in his eye as he thought about his own "touch of divinity" and its various implications.

"Are you sure it's all right?" Herakles frowned, "I don't like the idea of you taking over some kid's body like that, Bro..."

"Cousin," Iolaus corrected, "And what's the harm? Besides, it beat having this kid's father beating on him all the time for failing to remain awake on duty. Not much of a life for one born to be such a large dreamer. I think he'll do better under my wing, but don't worry yourself, Herk, I'll try and keep him out of harm's way."

Herakles still seemed dubious, but he decided to drop the point (at least for now) while concentrating on the other thing that concerned him, "And what about you? Are you really gonna be okay inside the body of a mortal?"

"Oh, I'll do fine," Iolaus replied, "It's like I explained to you before...part of being divine is the ability to be in more than one place at the same time. Only a small portion of me can fit inside this body, after all...a conscious part that remains my mortal Aspect. The rest of my divine essence is still back on Olympus fulfilling the regular functions that can't be put aside while I dally here even for a mortal's lifetime."

"You mean there are now two of you?" Genma blinked, "What happens if you meet your other self?"

"We exchange notes, trade gossip and do lunch together," Iolaus replied, "But enough about me, we have a quest to be getting onto, and time waits for no man nor God..."

"Well spoken indeed," another voice pleasantly remarked as a dark-clad figure stepped out from behind the tree, "What would your Uncle Hades say about you interceding for one destined for his domain?"

"Hecate?" Herakles blinked, seeing the unearthly beauty of the star-haired Witch Goddess.

"Uncle Hades and me have a little understanding about such matters," Iolaus turned around, "But what brings you to trouble our path this soon, Crone?"

"I merely came to extend to Herakles my compliments," Hecate replied, "And to inform you all that his first Heroic Labor awaits him."

"I'm ready," Herakles growled, "Bring it on."

"Well spoken," Hecate replied, pointing back at the trail down the base of the hill, from whence they had just come, "On that road, moving due south, you will go a ways and discover a fork that crosses two ways, West and East, to the right or left hand. On the Left hand there is a safe and easy path that will take you to Thebes, your home country, where you can greet your kinsman, King Creon, who overthrew the tyrant who slew your father."

"He did?" Herakles asked.

"You mean he killed Electryon?" Genma asked, recalling the name of the original Usurper.

"I didn't say he killed him," Hecate replied, "He simply overthrew him and sent him into exile. It was a bloodless coup, a popular uprising in which Creon promoted himself from general to King in one easy career move. Happens all the time among royalty..."

"What goes around comes around, huh?" Herakles noted.

"Exactly," Hecate acknowledged with a faint smile, "Of course, being a kinsman, the King will naturally look upon you with favor as the son of a murdered hero whose name is still popular with the masses. Of course the King will also be in mourning, sad to say..."

"Why is that?" Iolaus asked.

"Because his oldest daughter has been demanded as sacrifice to the Hydra on order of Queen Hera," Hecate replied, "The Queen was rather fond of Electryon, and she demanded the girl as token sacrifice for the usurpation."

"That's terrible," even Genma sounded appalled.

"What happens to the kid?" Herakles scowled dangerously.

"That all depends upon you," Hecate replied, "After all...if you take the Western road, it will take you to where the Hydra awaits to devour the maiden."

"Some choice," Genma noted grimly, "Go to town or visit the Hydra."

"Not much of a choice in my book," Iolaus sighed, "Too bad about the girl, but that's just like Hera. Of course the sensible thing would be to head East into Thebes..."

"You're wasting your time, Son," Genma pointed at the empty space formerly occupied by Herakles, whom they both saw racing like the wind back towards the road in question, "Somehow I just knew this would happen..."

"Bloody Tartarus!" Iolaus took off after Herakles at a run, "Herk, you idiot! Do you even know the first thing about fighting against a Hydra?"

"I'll improvise!" Herakles called back without breaking stride, already turning to the right at the fork in the road and plunging on ahead into forbidden wilderness past rock-strewn boulders.

"That boy'll be the death of me yet," Genma sighed.

"Only if you're lucky," the Witch Queen smiled enigmatically, vanished into the wind without bothering to elaborate, much to Genma's extreme dread and annoyance...

It had all seemed like such a very clever idea at the time...a good way to attract the attention of any hero. Unfortunately what had seemed so feasible on paper was looking rather uncomfortably a lot like a bad deal at the moment as the helpless Princess Maegara dangled by her wrists before the cave of the now approaching Hydra.

"Oh bugger," she murmured to herself as she saw the many heads of the creature emerge from the darkness, giving her a first glimpse at its immense size as the thing advanced upon the tasty morsel that had been so obligingly left where it could find it...meaning herself. The nearer it came the more she could count the rows of sharp teeth that lined each of its eight mouths, the heads moving rhythmically in time as they picked up on her scent, and near-naked girl dangling like bait on the hook by her wrists with heavy chains holding her up for a proper inspection.

She wondered if it was going to hurt much when those heads decided to chomp down on her and rip her apart...and all because she had chosen to imbue her essence in this particular hapless mortal. What had she been thinking? This was starting to look like it was anything but one of her better notions...

"Um...I don't suppose that we could talk about this?" she asked, hoping against hope that the creature was intelligent enough to be engaged in rational conversation, "You know...red meat is not the best thing for you...if you want a properly balanced diet you should worry more about vegetables and fruits..."

The creature roared at her with all eight heads, a sure sign that the feast was about to commence, even if the girl before her would constitute little more than a mouth full.

"Ah..." Princess Maegara whimpered faintly, "..that's what I was afraid of..."

She tensed as she tested the grip of her bronze chains, but they held her rather firmly...in fact they were bound to leave a mark on her delicate skin, which would not be very good, but since she was likely to be dead anyway in the next few seconds, she supposed it hardly mattered...in fact, as one of the heads began to lung on her she seriously considered screaming her pretty head off...

And then an arrow went "THUNK" into one eye of the creature, causing that head to rear back as the other seven cried out in alarm, feeling sympathetic pain course all through its massive body.

"Hold on there!" a familiar voice called out, "I've come to save you!"

Another flurry of arrows, one right after another, struck the Hydra in other places and made it flinch further back away from its intended dinner.

"Hold on he says," Maegara whimpered, but then she raised her voice and called out, "Nice grouping!"

"Thanks!" Herakles called out to her from down below, "I learned to shoot from a Centaur, and this bow I carry is a four hundred pounder!"

"Really?" Maegara blinked, suddenly very interested in the make of that bow, only to recall her precarious situation as the Hydra came lumbering forward, causing her to call down at the general area somewhere below her dangling feet, "LOOK OUT, HE'S-Ooops...Never mind!"

Herakles barely managed to dodge out of the way before he would have been trampled by the monster, rolling back to his feet as he tossed his bow aside, "Thanks anyway...but I saw that one coming!"

Maegara struggled to turn around so that she could see what was happening beyond her peripheral vision, but she had been left hanging by the wrists in front of the Hydra's cave, and that precluded getting a good angle in time to see her intended savior dodging the attack of the many heads while looking for an opening with which to strike the creature.

"Can I give you a hand, Miss?" a friendly voice said from much closer to where she was dangling, and Maegara saw the handsome blonde youth slightly off to her side hovering in the air holding up a skeleton key with a helpful expression.

"Go away," Maegara said, "You'll spoil everything, Hermes."

"Eh?" the youth blinked his eyes, "Wait a minute-MPH!" his attempt to name her was suddenly blocked off as she planted a bare foot over his mouth.

"Don't say it, you idiot!" Maegara snapped, "You want to give me away or something?"

"Oh...sorry, Sis...I didn't realize," Iolaus backed away and levitated back to the ground, "Carry on, then, as you were...and by the way, nice outfit."

"Outfit?" Maegara glanced down at the barely adequate covering just faintly concealing her assets, wondering what Hermes could mean by that since she was showing a lot more skin than otherwise, in fact, given her situation and the leer that her half-brother was wearing...all at once she put it together and scowled, "Wait a minute-!"

"Say Goat Cheese!" Iolaus framed his hands as though creating a mental picture, then lowered them again and said, "I can't wait to see an illustration of this featured in Helpless Maids and Damsels..."

"You wouldn't!" Maegara cried, cringing as she pictured her mortal form being featured in one of those cheap Men's scrolls all around Olympus.

"I've already relayed a mental picture to my other self back on Olympus," Iolaus grinned, "Don't worry, Sis, I'm sure you'll look just grand as an illustration."

"I'm warning you, Hermes," she growled, "If you think you're gonna get away with this..."

"Oh look!" Iolaus pointed beyond her, "Brother Herakles is being cornered by the Hydra. Well, love to stay and chat, Sis, but a Sidekick's duty beckons."

"What?" Maegara tried to turn herself around to no avail, "I can't see! Hermes-  
-get back here! At least let me have a bronze mirror!"

"Sorry," the youth called back from where she could not see him, "Don't know who you're talking about, nothing but us half-mortals here!"

As the Princess of Thebes fumed impotently, Herakles was locked in struggle with the head that he had gripped between his arms, using his free legs to kick away at the other heads, which were trying to nail him.

"POPS!" he cried out, "A LITTLE HELP HERE!"

"Well, what do you expect me to do about it, Boy?" Genma asked, "That thing's fifty times the size of an elephant!"

"Lot of help you are," Herakles grumbled, then paused before calling back down, "WHAT'S AN ELEPHANT?"

"Herk!" Iolaus called out, drawing something out of thin air, "Catch!"

Herakles saw something gleaming in the air and took a chance by letting go of the Hydra. He timed his release perfectly in coordination with the creature's movement, giving him the lift he needed to reach out and snag the object in mid-  
air, somersaulting to his sandaled feet for a one-point landing as he paused in action form, golden sword raised in one hand and poised at the ready.

"Oooh..." Maegara breathed as she managed to spot him out of the corner of one eye, "Nice Pecs..."

Herakles paused to notice what he had instinctively grabbed by the handle and then said, "A sword?"

"Not just any kind of sword!" Iolaus called out to him, "It's one of Heph's creations...it can shear through just about anything with a single slice!"

"So what?" Genma snorted, "Throw it away, Boy...it's no use to you in a real fight. The Anything Goes school is bare-handed...weapons just make you reliant on using tools other than your hands!"

The Hydra came charging forward again, and Herakles instinctively side-stepped the attack, slicing through one of the massive heads with a single motion. Said head went flying and landed a short distance away from Iolaus and Genma, who both flinched in dismay as the jaws of the creature reflexively kept biting.

"Er...on the other hand...it never hurts to take advantage of any asset," Genma reluctantly amended.

"THAT'S NOT GOING TO WORK!" Maegara suddenly called out.

"Eh?" Herakles blinked, glancing at the helpless maiden, then at the headless stalk that reared back up over the creature, splitting into two parts as each stump grew a new head back within seconds, "Oh..."

"It can do that?" Iolaus sounded intrigued at the discovery.

"IT'S A BLOODY HYDRA, YOU IDIOTS!" Maegara called out, "CUT OFF A HEAD AND TWO GROW IN ITS PLACE!"

"Now she tells me," Herakles dodged the attack of the creature, which now had nine snapping jaws coming after him instead of eight. He tossed the sword to one side and immediately changed tactics, squaring his heels and readying himself, then all at once he cried out, "WALNUTS ROASTING ON AN OPEN FIRE!"

"Say what?" Iolaus blinked.

"Couldn't find any chestnuts to train the boy, so I had to improvise," explained Genma.

All at once the hands of the powerful Man-god lashed out in a blur to strike the heads of the creature even as they attempted to snap at him, and in rapid order he kayoed each head in turn, knocking them down for the count in a matter of mere seconds.

"Wow," Iolaus sounded impressed, "He's almost as fast as me..."

"And he hits harder too," Maegara said in an intrigued tone of voice.

"Huh, he wasn't so tough," Herakles turned his back on the creature and picked up his sword, then went to where the helpless maiden awaited, "Just hold on for another second, Miss, I'll cut you down from there."

"About time!" Maegara called back, deciding there and then that being a helpless maiden was definitely not what the scrolls made it seem cracked up to be.

"Boy!" Genma called out in warning.

"What?" Herakles whirled around then gasped, "You've gotta be kidding me..."

"It's getting up again?" Iolaus blinked, "Wow...as hard as you hit the thing I was sure it would stay down for at least a week!"

"Of all the bloody," Herakles dropped his sword and balled his fists, "Come on and try your best, Monster! I'm tired of playing with you!"

"He calls that playing?" Iolaus stage-whispered.

"Just watch," Genma nodded, "He's finally getting serious about this fight."

The Hydra came on in a rush that shook the ground under its massive weight, but this time Herakles charged right back at it, dodging the attack of the heads with a speed and grace that made Maegara gasp (as it just happened to fall within her peripheral vision), weaving between the heads and causing general confusion as the nine head snapped at him and got entangled in each others way, giving Herakles the chance to help them along by tying them into knots, then pausing at the center of the dance which had been wending its way in a gradual circle.

"Brace yourselves!" Genma cried out, "It's coming!"

Herakles stood with legs firmly planted in the ground and shot a fist upward, not aimed for the dragon as he cried out aloud, "ARISING SPIRAL OF THE DRAGON!"

All at once a hurricane sprang up from seeming nowhere, a powerful wind that caused Iolaus and Genma to stagger, even as Maegara felt herself being sucked into the cyclone. The air centered around the Hydra itself, which made a noise as it found itself suddenly being yanked off of its clawed feet, to be picked up and carried into the very heavens, rising higher and higher even as it cried out in horrific protest.

"Wow!" Iolaus cried as he shielded himself against the spiraling winds, "You taught him how to do that?"

"Who else?" Genma boasted, "The boy always was a quick learner..."

Maegara was shaken like a leaf as her arms were nearly pulled from their sockets, yet somehow she managed to hold out until the wind died down, then all at once she found the chains grasping her wrists were being sliced away by a pair of rapid sword slashes. All at once gravity asserted itself again, but before she could make a rude landing with the ground a pair of powerful arms went around her, and then Herakles broke her fall with as much gentleness as he could manage, holding her up and saying, "Are you all right, Miss?"

"Um...ah...er..." Maegara stammered over the frantic beating of her heart, steadying herself against a sense of dizziness in the reassuring firmness of her rescuer's arms, and then she looked up into his handsome face and found herself lost to the depths of concern which she read in his expression. Warm eyes genuinely concerned for her welfare, which-oddly enough-made her heart beat even faster.

"Not bad, Herakles," Iolaus complimented, "You handled that like a real Pro."

"Thanks," Herakles replied without taking his eyes off of the beautiful girl in his arms, marveling at how light she felt, yet so full-bodied, entirely womanly (and there was enough of her on display to affirm that!) and yet so fragile seeming that he was afraid of dropping her or bruising her skin through rough treatment, "You're all right now...Miss?"

"Ah...Maegara," she remembered in time to say, "Call me Meg...um...Herakles?"

"Ah...yeah...that's me all right," he said when something odd came over him and he stared into the girl's eyes as though seeing her for the first time, then murmuring, "Athena?"

"Ah...I don't know what you mean, kind Sir," she said evasively, "I am but a humble Princess of the city of Thebes...my father is the King there now and he will be more than grateful to you for my rescue..."

"Ah...right," Herakles suddenly heard the words of Hecate echo in his ear and recited aloud, "Look into the eyes of every woman and you will see the Goddess..."

"Um...exactly," Maegara blinked, "Um...you could put me down now if you like...not that there's any hurry, of course...I mean...feel free to hold me if you want...I don't mind...really..."

"Er...yeah," Herakles debated putting her down, now more convinced of every that the girl in his arms was none other than his sister-Goddess, "By the way...you look awfully good as a redhead..."

"Oh, really?" she reflexively touched her new head of hair and smiled, "I've always wondered if I should dye it...brown just seem so...drab and ordinary..."

All at once a heavy mass came crashing to the ground, causing the earth to shake as all head turned around to see the fallen body of the Hydra making an impression.

"OOOH," Iolaus winced, "That's gonna leave a mark..."

"Be a shame to waste that," Genma mused, "Say, what does Hydra taste like when it's cooked?"

All at once the hulking brute stirred, then it started to push against the ground, raising its heads with a baleful glare that promised that the fight was far from over.

"Oh, for the love of-!" Herakles started to complain, when all at once he felt the hair on his arms and nape begin to bristle with electrostatic tension.

"Do you mind?" Princess Maegara growled in a voice that began to raise a couple of octaves in volume, "WE'RE TRYING TO HAVE A ROMANTIC MOMENT HERE-GO AWAY!"

All at once her eyes blazed with fire, and then the Hydra cried out as it spontaneously burst into flames, writhing in agony as it took off at a dead run, heading for the nearest lake at such a breakneck speed that it nearly created a forest fire in passing.

"Um," Iolaus said in the ensuing silence, "Would you believe...chicken?"

"Whoah," Herakles said numbly as he watched a cloud of steam arise from the bank of the river.

"One percent of her full power?" Genma numbly replied.

"What can I say?" Iolaus shrugged, "She takes after her father."

"Ah...er...um..." Maegara belatedly realized what she had done and said, "How did that happen? It must have been a miracle, or maybe a God was smiling on us...what do you think, Handsome?"

Herakles studied the lovely face of the Demigoddess in his arms, then very gently set her down on her bare feet and said, "We'll play it your way for now, Sis...I mean...Princess. Ah...do I call you Meg or 'Thena?"

"You can call me anything you like," she replied with a gentle smiled, "Just as long as you remember to call me often."

"Uh...right," Herakles replied, still staring in wonder at the transformed Goddess of Wisdom.

"Face it, Sis, you're Busted," Iolaus smirked.

"Yes, she is at that," Genma adjusted his glasses, then realized his verbal gaff and said, "Ah...that is..."

"Come on," Maegara gently tugged on Herakles's unresisting arm, "I mean what I said about going to meet my father...I mean...the father of my host body. Don't be a statue, Herakles, come on...we've got something to celebrate now. You're a genuine hero, not to mention my Hero!" she cuddled up against him, rubbing her shoulder against his arm with a look that conveyed an extra meaning.

"Ahh..." Herakles felt his brain suddenly seize up an with unexpected rush of conflicting messages and hormones, the smile of his sister-turned-Princess threatening to cause a sensory overload, especially since there was very little of her body presently left to the imagination.

"Sounds good to me," Iolaus said, "Why don't you two lovebirds run on ahead? Genma and I will be along in good order."

"We will?" Genma asked.

Iolaus leaned closer to the Satyr and said, "The sooner these two get hitched, the sooner Herk's quest comes to conclusion, right? That means we both get to go home that much earlier than planned...you copy?"

"Oh," Genma's eyes widened appreciatively, "Oh...yes...I see...very good thinking..."

"Alone?" Herakles picked up the one word that seemed relative to him at the moment, one that nearly caused him a panic, especially as Maegara was giving him a speculative look that seemed to suggest that being alone with him was just what the deity ordered.

"Right," Iolaus gave him a push on the shoulder that was meant to be comradely, but which barely budged the Man-god, "So, what are you waiting for, Herk? Get going!"

"I'm going, don't push me!" Herakles snapped defensively, then turned back to the Goddess before him and said, "Ah..."

"Ahh," Maegara smiled back, "What a brilliant conversationalist you are. I just know I'm going to enjoy giving you a...proper education..." she learned with clear intention in her expression, undressing him with her eyes (which was just a foretaste of what she meant to do with his body).

"But...but...but we're not even married yet!" Herakles declared, once again on the verge of a panic attack.

"Don't worry, Herk," Iolaus grinned, "The Bards will clean it up in the retelling."

"What's to retell?" Maegara purred softly, "Isn't a Princess entitled to pay her rescuer a reward-EH?" all at once her look sharpened and the smoldering sensualism left her demeanor

"What wrong?" Herakles asked, suddenly quite alarmed at the sudden shift in the expression of his goddess.

"Precognition," Iolaus said in sudden comprehension, "She's sensing something before it can happen..."

"You mean, like racetrack scores?" Genma asked with speculative interest.

"Are you all right, 'Thena...I mean...Meg?" Herakles asked once again.

"Hold that thought, Handsome," Maegara's tone grew hard as her hand automatically snapped out and she suddenly caught something that had been hissing through the air, only inches from the breastbone of her savior. An angry glare crossed her lovely eyes as she whirled around and called out, "ARTEMIS!"

"Stand away from him, Sister!" a murderous blonde haired Amazon stepped out from the concealment of the woods, bow in hand, arrow already knocked and ready to be launched, "HE'S MINE!"

"Antiope?" Iolaus whirled around, "What...?"

"That's not her, Boy," Genma saw the look in the eyes of the girl and recognized her at once, "That's trouble!"

"Artemis?" Herakles stared at the advancing form of the Goddess in the body of an Amazon Princess, "What...?"

"If you die then I don't have to be here," the blonde warrior replied, "Dad can punish me if he wants, but no way am I gonna be forced to marry you, and you're not getting one of my sisters either!"

"Put that bow away right now, Artemis, I mean it!" Maegara demanded, keeping herself squarely between her sister and intended husband..

"Make me, Athena," Artemis replied, "You won't really die, but he will. He's mortal enough that Hades can take him if he's felled by one of my arrows!"

"Over my dead body!" Maegara flared.

"If that's the way you want it," Artemis snarled as she released her arrow.

"NO!" Herakles moved quickly, moving Maegara to one side as he caught the arrow and broke it between his fingers. He started to advance on her, but the Moon Goddess already had an arrow in hand and already had it strung and ready, but before she could release it a hand came up to the back of her head and dropped her with one casual blow.

"What a bloody nuisance," Iolaus growled as he looked down at his partially stunned sister, "Why can't you ever learn to behave like a normal deity, Sis?"

"What are we going to do with her?" Genma asked.

"Good question," Maegara glanced back at what was left of the dangling chains and sighed wistfully, "Well, if the Hydra's still alive, maybe we can leave him a snack...it's no worse than she deserves."

"Sis," Herakles frowned in a disapproving manner.

"Hey, you heard her," Maegara gestured, "She won't really die, just her mortal body."

"But that body belongs to a Niece of mine, one I'm rather fond of at that," Iolaus pointed out.

"Exactly," Herakles said as he bent down and rolled Antiope facedown then began tying her hands behind her back, "We'll take her with us...until she snaps out of it or we can convince her to vacate the premises. After all, it ain't her fault that she got taken over."

"You're right, of course," Maegara sighed, "Sorry...it's just...Arti can really get on my nerves sometimes, you know what I'm saying, Hermes?"

"Call me Iolaus," he corrected, "And yeah, I know exactly what you mean."

"Sure you want to take her with us, Boy?" Genma asked, "She's bound to be quite a hand full."

"Got no choice, unless I want to wait for her to attack me again, let's just hope we can talk some sense into her before we hit town," Herakles said as he hefted the now-helpless goddess over one shoulder.

"Yes, we could always try the reasonable approach," Maegara conceded.

"Oh yeah," Iolaus sighed, "And maybe the River Styx will freeze over first...hey...it could happen..."

Continued.

Comments/Criticisms/Recipes for Barbecued Hydra: shadowmane

With three of the contenders now revealed in their host bodies (well, two and one on the way) the heroic adventures of Herakles are well on the way, but with one Labor down, what new challenge will Hecate have planned for our hero, and where are Hebe and Eris, the two remaining contenders for the hand of the dashing Man-God? Be with us next time for: "A Palace Boar," or "Throwing the Cretan Bull!" Be there!

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If you wish to check out my other works, Please check out my Fanfiction webpage at: . All related chapters of this series can be found there along with my other works. 


	6. Chapter 6

Hercules 6

Hercules 1/2

"GENMA SAOTOME'S TIME AND SPACE MISADVENTURES!"

By Jim Robert Bader

(Inspired by the works of Rumiko Takahashi with some backhanded slaps at the Disney version of Bullfinch!)

Chapter Six.

Thebes on the Crossroads-1254 BC

The Sphinx is a very curious and perverse creature...dangerous to cross and impossible to completely understand. No one quite knows why that is, except that maybe being a woman from the waist up and a lioness from the body down and a pair of wings upon her back tends to be a bit too confusing in terms of species and gender issues. They often spend their time thinking up puzzles and riddles for their own amusement, and sometimes they like to engage people in conversation before pouncing and eating them, sort of like a date who gets a bit demanding after working up the appetite for some foreplay. The Sphinx who sat guard at the high pass leading to the city of Thebes was a very odd specimen of the breed, bored and hungry from several days without catching herself a meal, and looking for a little action on the side, and anyway that she could find it was good, even if it meant postponing one appetite in the favor of the other.

So when two strangers approached her vantage point from two very different directions she thought she had proverbially died and gone to the field of Elysium. She licked her lips in budding horny hunger then spread her wings and swooped down to her best purchase point where she could greet her impending dinner dates and pose to them her customary riddle.

A young man named Oedipus was on his way with a mission, intent to reach the Palace of his birth, having only just discovered his true legacy as a foundling after years growing up in Corinth and thinking that he had been the son of a man named Polybus. Intent on discovering his true heritage and name in order to clear up his own identity issues.

Unfortunately his chariot had broken down just a few strati back down the road, and without a carrier pigeon to send back a message to the Chariot Club for a mechanic, he was forced to hoof it the rest of the way into town, and that's when he ran into the stranger coming down the other branch of the road headed in pretty much the same direction.

This was a good break as far as Oedipus was concerned because walking for him was not as fun a deal as it might be for a lowly peasant. This was due largely to the fact that some joker had driven a nail through both of his ankles when he was yet a crawling infant (hence his name, meaning "Lame Foot"), and though being found and adopted by a wealthy couple was a sure path to getting a good Medical Plan in life, he still found it difficult to move about long distances without having to refer to a liter.

"I say there, my good Peon," he called out to the hulking fellow as the young man came within earshot, "Can I trouble you for a lift into town?"

"My name is Ithicles, I'm the Prince of Thebes," the young man called back in a tired tone of voice, "I'm no Peon."

"Royalty?" Oedipus arched and eyebrow, dubious about the man's pedigree since he looked like he had been on the road for about an age, possibly two of them, "Splendid! Then maybe you could help me out with a bit of directions. Um...do I assume you have a baggage train anywhere abouts?"

"Not the last time that I looked," Ithicles responded, "And I was hoping you could tell me where I was. I'm trying to get to Thebes, I hear my brother might be stopping by there..."

"Eh?" Oedipus blinked his eyes then pointed at a sign, "Doesn't that say that this road is heading towards Thebes?"

"Oh yeah," the burly man replied, seeing the sign in question, "I thought I recognized that from somewhere..."

"Then you've both come to the right place," a feminine voice purred in tones of hungry sensualism, "I can tell you both exactly where you're going...down the hatch, unless you satisfy me with a riddle, Cuties."

Oedipus turned a quizzical look towards the speaker and almost fainted, though Ithicles looked up at the woman with the lower body of a Lioness as if such things were a routine occurrence.

"Do you know where Thebes is?" Ithicles asked.

"Sure," the Sphinx leered, "A long ways from here...on the other side of me."

"Um...I guess that means we should be going around past you then?" Oedipus asked hopefully.

"No chance of that," she grinned, showing some rather impressive looking teeth, "I've got a riddle for you, and if you answer it I might become more...friendly."

"What riddle?" Ithicles asked.

"Why is a Raven like a Writing Desk?" she asked.

"Say what?" Oedipus blinked.

"Just kidding," the Sphinx responded, "I use that one on the obvious rubes, the ones who haven't a clue about how to solve a riddle. I'll ask my real riddle and then I've give you both a chance to give your own answer. The one who loses gets eaten...if you win, well...then we can talk about the awards and prizes..."

"What awards?" Ithicles scratched the back of his head.

"E-Eaten?" Oedipus replied, his voice noticeably higher in octave.

"And now the riddle of the day," she said with a resolute expression, "What has four legs in the morning, two legs during the day, and three by the evening? You have thirty seconds, good luck with your answer."

"Three legs in the evening?" Oedipus's mind whirled with amazement, wondering what in the name of the Gods kind of creature she was describing.

"Um...one question before I answer that," Ithicles replied, "This Thebes down the road here...is it the one in Greece or in Egypt?"

"Huh?" it was the Sphinx's turn to look puzzled, "W-What do you mean? Thebes is a major city along the Nile..."

"I know," Ithicles replied, "I've been there. But there's another city in Greece with the same name...I think it started out as a trade colony for the Egyptians, but it's the place where I was born, and I'm the crown Prince...I even took part in a revolution that kicked out the tyrant who murdered my father..."

"Another Thebes?" the Sphinx blinked her diamond slitted eyes, "Then what town have I been guarding all these years?"

"Um...this is Greece," Oedipus replied, "On the coastline of the Achaen sea...

The Sphinx did a facefault, a really impressive sight when your body is as low to the ground as that of a crouching lioness.

"Bloody Hell!" she exclaimed in dismay, "You mean all this time I've been sitting watch outside the WRONG CITY?"

"I'm afraid so," Ithicles replied, "Sorry about that."

"Sekhmet's gonna tan my hide!" the Sphinx winced acutely, "I was supposed to be plaguing the Pharaoh's court in THEBES EGYPT, not some mud-and-wattle daubed huts in the land of the Olive Eaters!"

"Does this mean that we don't have to answer your riddle?" Oedipus asked rather hopefully.

"Not a chance, Guy," the Sphinx subsided, "I'm still hungry, and you two are the best looking things I've had to look at since that last thin mouse I ate...so give me an answer now and I'll commence to feasting on your bones..."

"That doesn't sound very nice," Ithicles frowned.

"Yeah, well...you take your employment where you can find it," the Sphinx shrugged, "It's not much of a life, true, but it beats pushing stones up a hill in the Land of the Dead..."

"Excuse me for asking another question," Oedipus asked rather hesitantly, "But...exactly who and what are you, my good...uh...lady?"

"I'm a Sphinx," she replied with a twitching of her tail, "My name is Cleo."

"Pleased to meet you," Ithicles replied before frowning, "I thought the Sphinx was a carved Lion that was set to guard the lands of the G'hu'ul, only some Pharaoh with an ego problem had his own faced carved in the place of the original lion..."

"You know about that?" Cleo replied, "I'm impressed! Most people think that Kaops was the original builder...but they also think the Pyramids were built during the Third dynasty," she rudely snorted in derision.

"Well, I sort of get around a lot," Ithicles replied, "And you have to know some things if you're a Prince."

"True enough, I suppose," Cleo replied, "But it's not often to meet a guy around here who's got your kind of moxie...not to mention those rippling pectorals..." she drew a tongue across her lips as if savoring an impending feast.

"Uh...charmed, I'm sure," Oedipus wondered if fainting now would be a good career move, or if it was going to hurt to get eaten while he was unconscious.

"Now, about the riddle..." Cleo began.

"Um...which one?" Oedipus asked, "The crawling one or the writing desk?"

"Take your pick, if you get lucky," Cleo grinned, "Is that your final answer?"

"Uh...what was the question again?" Oedipus winced.

"What crawls on all fours in the morning, walks on two legs by the day..." Cleo patiently recited.

"Oh, it's a Man," Ithicles said matter-of-factly.

Cleo's jaw almost hit the granite that she was perched upon, "Say what?"

"A man crawls on four legs in the morning, two legs by the day and then goes on a crutch by the end of the day," Ithicles explained, "Metaphorically speaking."

"But how in the name of the Stygian underworld could you possibly have known that!" Cleo protested.

"Hey, you think you're the only Sphinx I've ever run into?" Ithicles shrugged, "You guys kind of run in a union..."

"I don't believe this!" Cleo raged as she spread her wings wide, "You mean you CHEATED on my riddle with another SPHINX! I WON'T STAND FOR THAT!"

All at once she pounced on Ithicles, her huge mass colliding with his stout frame, and together they managed to overburden each other and go toppling off the road and into a nearby ravine, where they vanished from sight in a cloud of dust, fur and feathers, leaving Oedipus to stand where he was with an utterly bewildered expression.

"What...just...happened?" he asked in amazement, turning to call down the ravine, "Excuse me? Are you all right down there?" When no answer was forthcoming he straightened up and said, "Right...well...carry on with the fight and all that. I hope you win, just don't let yourself get eaten! I certainly wouldn't...it isn't a very prince-like way to go, or so I hear!"

With that Oedipus resumed his trek down the road and into town, remarking to himself, "You meet the oddest people when you travel to foreign places..."

"So, what are we going to do with her?" asked Iolaus.

"You want suggestions?" Maegara asked, "Personally I think an exorcism isn't too extreme at this point, or at least we could try to make her quit herself from Antiope's body."

"No ifs about it," Herakles replied, "No way is she keeping this body. I don't know the kid as well as you, but she's family...sort of...and I'm pretty sure Aphrodite wouldn't want even a sister to go mucking around in the body of one of her daughters."

"Good call, Herk," Iolaus replied, "Aphi may be flighty and self-centered, but when it comes to her kids she can be pretty defensive, like a mother hen...not that she's the best role model you could ask for, but..."

"At least she has daughters," Maegara sighed, "Antiope is probably one of the nicest of the Daughters of Ares...not a hard role to fulfill, given that most of his children become monsters of one sort or another."

"The Amazons are different," Iolaus pointed out, "They may be bad news to most men, but at least they're no less human than some of their neighbors. Antiope tends to go along with whatever her sisters want, but she's not a vicious man-  
hater..."

"No, she just thinks that men should be enslaved and treated like chattel," Genma sniffed, "Some things never change, no matter what century you're in..."

"Well, even someone like that doesn't deserve to be used like this," Herakles remarked, "Can she even recover if we can convince Artemis to vacate the premises?"

"Oh, that won't be a problem," Maegara replied, "Merging with a God through incarnation isn't like Daemonic possession or anything like that. The princess whose body I occupy is still here, merged with my own personality but otherwise largely dormant unless I allow her mind to fully emerge to the surface."

"Can you do that?" Herakles asked, "Let her take over for a bit so I can talk to her, please?"

Maegara looked surprised, "I can, but...why would you want me to do that?"

"Because I want to know that you're not doing this against her will," Herakles replied, "You took her over when she was at a disadvantage..."

"You mean when her own father was feeding her...me to the hydra?" Maegara replied, "Very well, Brother...if it will reassure you that I am not forcing my will upon the true Maegara..." she paused, lowered her eyes, and then looked up again, and when she did her face took on a very different expression.

"Oh wow!" she said with eyes widened in surprise, "I mean...wow...I've been divinely favored? And you're...Herakles, the son of Zeus? Oh wow! This is incredible...I mean...I've got a goddess inside me, and no less than Athena? Oh wow..."

"You know what's happened to you?" Herakles asked.

"Oh yes...this is really something!" Maegara replied, looking around and spotting Iolaus, "You're...Hermes? And this is Artemis you've got all tied up? Funny...I didn't think she was into stuff like that. And you...um...Pan or Dionysus?"

"Neither," Genma replied with a somewhat careworn expression.

"Um...listen to me, um...Miss?" Herakles asked tentatively, disconcerted by the sudden transition in the girl whom he now thought of as Athena, "It's very important for me to know...do you mind having a goddess inside you?"

"Mind?" the redheaded Princess replied, "On no! Are you kidding? Why would I mind? I mean...a goddess has favored me by making me her vessel...a girl has dreams of something like this happening, but to actually go through it...I mean...I feel so blessed..."

"So, you don't really mind that Athena took you over and is living through your eyes?" Hermes asked with a sly look at Herakles, hoping he would get the hint.

"Well, compared with being eaten by the Hydra, I certainly think this is an improvement!" Maegara replied, "And Athena...this is so cool! I feel so incredibly alive, and my perceptions...did you know you've got the cutest little mole behind your butt?"

"How did you...?" Herakles gasped, then hastily said, "That's...good enough, you can come back out now, 'Thena!"

"Okay," Maegara lowered her eyes once more, then again lifted them, only now there was no question that the goddess was back in charge, "Cool? The child certainly seems to have very odd ideas about me, but...I find that I do not mind so much. Her memories...are most instructive over what it means to be a mortal princess. Fascinating...but I trust that you are now convinced, Brother?"

"Ah...kinda," Herakles scratched his hair then said, "So...the Princess..."

"Is something of an airhead," Iolaus remarked, "No kidding."

"Perhaps you would find her so," Maegara replied, "But my host has lived a very sheltered life, so I do not find it exceptional that she is somewhat undereducated with overly romantic inclinations. I will have to do something about that in due time, but for now...while we are together...I am, for all intents and purposes, the Princess Maegara, daughter of King Creon, and you companion for the duration, Herakles. Feel free to consider me as something of a hybrid life form, part divine and otherwise quite mortal."

"Not to mention we could get killed like this, so don't act as if we're not going out on a limb here, Herk," Iolaus noted, "Sure we'd revert to being Gods again if our mortal hosts die, but it's not all that pleasant having to cope with all the little mortal foibles, like pain and hunger and disease, not to mention a certain susceptibility to really pointy objects..."

"Like those arrows that the Amazon here was trying to stick into the boy?" Genma asked.

"You got it," Maegara replied, "And speaking of which, I believe that Sister Antiope here is about to regain consciousness."

"Swell," Herakles turned his focus back to their bound and helpless captive, "I just hope she'll have calmed down enough by now to see reason..."

"Where...?" Antiope (whose name meant "With Face Confronting," or "Stopping Traffic" in the Greek Language) blinked her eyes then tried to move her arms, only to find them bound behind her back, "Hey-!"

"Oh pipe down, we're not gonna hurt you," Herakles immediately reassured her, "Artemis...you are Artemis, right? What's the big idea of trying to shoot me from ambush like that anyway? Did you really think that would get you off the hook with Dad?"

"I don't have to tell you..." Antiope started to say when she got a peculiar look in her eyes and instead wound up saying, "Daddy can kiss my ass if he wants me to wed a skunk like you! I thought planting a few arrows in your hide would get the point across..."

"Yeah, well don't worry," Herakles assured her, "You never were in the running, in fact, I wouldn't marry you if you were the last woman on Olympus..."

"GOOD!" Artemis snapped, only to pause a moment later and frown, "Why, what's wrong with me? Are you saying I'm not good enough?"

"Hey, I'm sure you're not all that bad a person-a little homicidal and a bit on the grabby side-but otherwise, as things go back there," Herakles shrugged, "You pretty, Sis, but you're not my type."

"Well, you're not my type either, so there!" Antiope retorted, only to amend, "Um...well...the male half of you anyway..."

"Sister," Maegara spoke up, "Why did you choose to incarnate inside the body of our niece, Antiope? Wasn't there another mortal somewhere who would have suited you better?"

"I'm not telling you-dammit!" she winced, then replied, "I wanted to punish her, sure...she'd been getting funny ideas about men for the last two centuries and..." she grimaced again, "Don't make me say this..."

"What's the matter with her?" Genma asked.

"It's almost like she's fighting herself," Herakles pondered.

"Uh oh," Iolaus replied, "I should have expected this...I forgot completely about another of those rules Dad imposed on the Amazons when he accepted their charter."

"Rules?" Herakles replied, now thoroughly puzzled.

"Yes, Daddy did insist on certain conditions for the Amazons before he would give his sanction to establish their colony of Renunciates," Maegara explained, "You already know about the rule where an Amazon must accept a man as her husband if he defeats her in battle...well, another of those conditions is that any Amazon who is bound by a man is compelled to do his bidding for the duration. Since you tied the ropes around her wrists and ankles, that officially makes you Antiope's Master."

"WHAT?" both Herakles and Antiope cried together, the latter sputtering out in protest, "B-B-But I'm only in her body! I'm not bound by the same rules that Daddy..."

"Apparently you are," Iolaus smiled, "Which means that, if Brother Herk here gives you an order, you have no choice but to obey it."

"W-What?" Antiope blanched, "No way!"

"Dad came up with this rule?" Herakles arched an eyebrow.

"Oh yes," Maegara rolled her eyes, "You have no idea what a dubious honor it is to have such an enlightened guy for a parent..."

"Actually..." Herakles turned a suspicious glare towards Genma, who had the good sense to look elsewhere at the moment.

"Are you telling me that I'm his SLAVE?" Antiope protested.

"At the moment, yes," Iolaus affirmed, "Unless you choose to quit yourself of that body, Sis. It's not really yours anyway, even if she is a worshipper. Antiope is our niece and it's impolite to take her over without her express permission."

Antiope fumed and said, "If I do leave this body will you promise to let her go free?"

"Hey, I'm not taking anybody as slave around here," Herakles paused before adding, "Hey, y'know...it just occurred to me, since you were the one who knocked her out, Hermes, doesn't that mean that you're her...?"

All of a sudden Iolaus placed a hand over Herakles's mouth.

"Don't go there, Bro," Iolaus pleaded, that's the last thing either of us need at the moment, right, Arti?"

"Huh?" Antiope blinked, then winced, "You mean...if I stay in this body, Hermes and me-NO WAY!"

"Then that's your cue to make an exit, Sis," Maegara noted, "And don't let the flaps hit your backside while making an exit.

All at once Antiope's body shimmered, but then she subsided and growled, "I can't leave this body...not unless he orders me to..." she glared angrily at the offending Herakles, who winced under the impact of her icy silver eyes.

"Fine, whatever," Herakles made a wave of his hand, "You can leave...I order you to leave Antiope, Artemis."

"That's better," she said, and then her aura shimmered and formed a double image, one ghostly, the other solid, as Antiope sagged forward with a sigh and Artemis assumed her full manifestation.

"I'm going for now," she said, "But you'll hear from me again. I won't let either you or Daddy force me into marrying any guy, especially the pair of you Jocks."

And with that she disappeared into a silvery halo.

"Oooohhh...oh my..." Antiope groaned softly, "That...sure was something..."

Herakles knelt down before her and said, "How are you feeling, Kid?"

"Weak...but a lot better," Antiope looked up and smiled at him, "Thank you, Herakles...that was very nice of you. I'm sorry if Artemis made a lot of trouble for you while she was in my body, but I'm feeling a whole lot better, and thanks for asking."

Herakles arched an eyebrow to this while Genma said aloud, "She doesn't even sound the same anymore..."

"Antiope's a bit different from the rest of her sisters," Iolaus replied, "I think it's safe to untie her now, Herk, she won't give us any trouble."

"Of course I won't," Antiope replied before smiling at Herakles, "But...if you'd rather leave me tied up a little longer, I won't mind. In fact, I think it's awfully kinky. Can you really order me to do anything you want? I've never tried this before...it sounds like it's got some real possibilities here..."

"Eh?" Herakles replied with a now-thoroughly-bewildered expression.

"I can't believe that Artemis was so angry at you," Antiope continued, "It was strange...like standing back in the same room listening to one of my sisters rant about men. I mean...Melanippe thinks all men are dogs who should grovel beneath her, Oresties thinks they should be used for target practice, and big sister Hippolyta...she thinks men aren't fit to lick her chariot. Of course she seems to think differently about you, and I can sure see why! With all those muscles and that build...you can tell me what to do anytime, and you won't even need to tie me up to make me do it, good-looking..."

"I take it that you do not share the same feelings about men as the rest of your sisters?" Maegara asked.

"No, Great Lady Athena," Antiope replied, "Are you kidding? I think men are pretty neat! I mean, sure there are the bad kinds who try to hurt us and make slaves of us and all that, but without Men how could we ever have babies? I mean...aside from my sisters and me, who are Immortals, most Amazons have to lay with men in order to keep up the numbers in our ranks or the Renunciates would have died off centuries ago. I mean, how else are we gonna do it? Fashion clay statues and have the gods animate them?" she snorted at the very suggestion.

"But you don't find men all that unpleasant to be around?" Maegara persisted.

"Hey, I've flirted with lots of men in my time," Antiope shrugged, "And I've enjoyed every one of them, except maybe for Aristabolis, a guy I knew on this farm...real stubborn cuss and thought he was a better lover than a fighter..."

"So, you won't attack me if I let you go?" Herakles asked.

"Well, I'm not gonna try and kill you, if that's what you mean," Antiope grinned sweetly, "But if I put up a good enough showing, will you promise to try and defeat me? Because I wouldn't mind at all having a hunk like you for a husband..."

"Wouldn't your sister object to that?" Iolaus asked.

"Ah...good point," Antiope sighed, "Hippolyta's laid her claim on you, and there's a rule about 'First Come, First Serve' which means she's got first rights on you...but I could always be your second wife...I wouldn't mind that a bit, and it won't be the first time 'Lyta and I shared a man together..."

"Look, can we just forget about those rules of yours for a second," Herakles pleaded, "Now, I'm gonna untie you, but please don't give me any trouble. I just want to let you go so I can get back to my quest for the Twelve Labors, so don't even think about trying to start something here, all right?"

"Okay, I promise, I'll be a good girl and all that," Antiope sighed, "I have to obey you anyway on account of Grandfather's rules...but are you sure you wouldn't mind having an Amazon for a slave? I can clean and cook better than my sisters, and I would love to sew any rents in your Lionskin if you wouldn't mind keeping me on as a housekeeper or maid...I'd love to try on one of those cute uniforms..."

"This is an Amazon?" Genma asked as he watched Herakles undo the ropes binding the blonde warrior woman.

"Apparently their standards have become a bit more liberal over the years," Maegara amended.

"Okay now," Herakles stood back, "Thanks for the offer, but I don't need a maid or a...whatever...I mean, you're a really cute kid, but..."

"Kid?" Antiope grinned as she massaged her wrists, "I'll have you know I'm over twelve hundred years old, Uncle...and this body is as fresh as the day I incarnated into it. If anyone here is a kid, it might be you...but I'd still love to call you Master. Anyway...I think I'll stick around with you guys a while longer, if you really don't mind. I won't cause you any trouble or anything, and I'll even help out where I can but..."

"Don't you want to return to your home?" Iolaus asked.

"Eventually, sure," Antiope flexed her arms, then assumed a jaunty stance and set her hands to her hips before saying, "But Themiscrya's about a hundred and fifty leagues from here due North-East, and that's some pretty forbidding territory to cross on my own. Artemis whisked me here under her own divine powers, but my powers are somewhat muted. I'd have to hoof it back there the hard way, and I don't much care having to cross through Thrace in order to get back to Amazonia."

"What's wrong with Thrace?" Herakles asked.

"Aside from all the bad blood that's been between us over the years?" Antiope replied, "Don't forget that we've invaded them several times and have often made off with a lot of their men and young women in order to keep up our own numbers. They remember us pretty good from those occasions, especially me and my sisters, but most of all Melanippe."

"Why her more than the others?" Iolaus asked.

"Melanippe?" Herakles turned to Maegara, "That walking She-bear on hind legs?"

"She's arguably the most war-like of her sisters," Maegara acknowledged.

"Yeah, no kidding!" Antiope sniffed, "You know one of the problems that comes from being an Immortal trapped in a mortal's body for about a thousand years? All those metabolic processes get slowed down to a real crawl...we don't age and we regenerate most damage, unless we lose our heads in a fight, so we only get fertile maybe once or twice in a century...and when it comes to menstrual cramps, well...Meli's the worst of us there. In fact, one time she got so hot and bothered with the flashes that she personally led an entire wing of the Amazon army into Thrace to ravage their capitol city...and then a century later she did it again...and then she did it again after that..."

"She raped Thrace thrice?" Iolaus asked with lifted eyebrows.

"Wait a second here," Herakles lifted a hand, "What was that about only being fertile once or twice in a century?"

"Oh yeah," Antiope acknowledged, "Unless she's taking herbal medication to inhibit her cycles, big sister Hippolyta gets to be fertile for about a decade or so at a single time. If she has sex anywhere in that time then there's a good chance that she'll wind up with a baby..."

"Let me guess," Iolaus said, "And her period for that is NOW?"

"Gee, how did you know?" Antiope replied with a look of surprise, "I mean...I know how to read the signs, and I know that she's fertile right now, which is why she wants to get with a really strong man like Uncle Herk here..."

"Not if I have anything to say about it," Maegara stated flatly, "Your sister can find her own man, this one is taken."

"Not if Hippolyta insists," Antiope warned, "You may be one of our patron goddesses, Great Lady Athena, but when it comes to love and war, 'Lyta only takes prisoners if she intends to keep them. Nobody back home would ever say no to her if they knew what was good for them..."

"I'll take my chances, niece," Maegara replied, firmly taking Herakles by one arm and resting her head against his shoulder before adding, "Herakles is my man...besides, he saved me, and a rescued damsel is entitled to claim her hero for a husband."

"Okay, if you insist," Antiope replied, "But I feel obligated to stand up for my sister's rights..."

"Such touching sentiments," a new voice remarked, "Family should always stick together...am I right about that?"

Herakles felt as if a cold wind had just blown down his spine as he turned to regard a stranger standing off to one side, leaning against a dead tree with a faintly bored expression.

"YOU?" Maegara reacted with a sharp intake of breath, hostility plain in her tone and expression.

"Who?" Genma asked.

"What do you want here," Iolaus growled, "Lucifer?"

"Lucifer?" Herakles repeated, making out the blond haired, handsome stranger.

"That's right, Little Brother," the stranger replied, "Lucifer...the son of Zeus and Aphrodite, former Light Bearer of the planet Venus, now presently exiled from Mount Olympus on account of a slight...misunderstanding between myself and dear old Dad..."

"You snake," Maegara hissed, "You call what you did a Misunderstanding?"

"Why yes, Sister Athena," he said with a cultured drawl, "It was blown all out of proportion...a simple matter of inheritance that should have been resolved amicably, without all those unpleasant theatrics with parties shouting back and forth and nothing getting resolved in the final tally..."

"That's because you were playing both ends against the middle," Iolaus countered, "You stirred up that hornet's nest deliberately and tried to foment a revolution to topple Dad off of his throne. You even got Ares, Hera, Apollo and several other deities to join in the attempted Coup..."

"Yes, and that might have worked if you two hadn't taken part in squelching the revolt while spreading that awful rumor about my involvement," Lucifer said in slightly bored tones, "Ancient history, been there, done that. It's been over two hundred years since you engineered my...dismissal...but I am not here about all of that. It's long since time that we buried the hatchet on that sordid matter, don't you think? I am here instead to wish my younger half-brother well in his quest to achieve recognition as a Peer of Olympus. Brother...I salute you."

"Uh...yeah...charmed," Herakles said dubiously, then added, "Dad and Aphrodite?"

"Hey, what can I say?" Lucifer spread his arms in a disarming manner, "Dad keeps it in the family...but in the defense of my mother, she was only acceding to the wishes of our mutual Dear Old Dad. It's not like she could have had an abortion, now could she?"

"Ew," Herakles winced slightly.

"For once I agree," Maegara replied, "There is no way I could hold a snake like you against sister Aphi. If I had a son like you I'd have exiled myself from Olympus..."

"I'm hurt," Lucifer made a faining gesture of implied sorrow, "In truth, Sister Dear, I've made out rather well for myself since leaving that dusty old collection of antique relics behind. I am now part of a new movement, the coming wave of the future, and in time you will see me sweep my influence over the entire world. Mark me well, I will be the way of the future, the Alpha and the Omega. I merely extend to you my best wishes and hope that one day you will see the wisdom of joining my cause. You would be amazed at the progress I have already made cultivating a movement behind me."

"No thank you," Iolaus frowned, "I wouldn't belong to any movement that would have you for its godhead."

"Likewise," Maegara agreed, "If you call that desert-dwelling rabble of goatherds and sheep farmers a movement, you are more than entitled to receiving their blessings."

"Suit yourself," Lucifer replied, "Does the same hold true for you, Little Brother?"

"Ah...look...Bro...I don't know anything about this," Herakles replied, "In fact, this is the first time I've even heard your name, let alone heard anything about a movement..."

"Fair enough," Lucifer replied, "It would be premature to expect you to have opinions about me this early in the game. I just thought it would be nice to have the opportunity to meet you...there are so few occasions these days for me to renew my old ties to the family. In fact, I hear they've all but eliminated my name from the divine rosters. A pity, really, since I only wanted what was best for everyone, to make Olympus truly a place worthy of respect and admiration. You have doubtless already noticed that things are not run too smoothly upstairs, and I think there could be a major improvement on the way things are handled. I'll tell you more about my ideas on another occasion...but for now, I leave you in quite capable hands of dear Brother Hermes and beloved Sister Athena."

With that the man-like being made a dramatic gesture and caused a flash of light to appear brightly in the air before a roiling cloud of smoke and thunder bore him away into the distance.

Herakles blinked his eyes to clear them then said to his companions, "What the Hades was that all about?"

"Lucifer," Maegara pronounced the name with acute distaste, "Proof positive that Daddy should be more discriminating about where he sows his wild oats..."

"His name is often confused with Phosphorous," Iolaus replied, "That chalky substance that glows in the dark, which you can find in most Alchemy shops. He used to be Dad's favorite when he was a lad much younger than yourself, got a job as a Cup Bearer, which is a polite euphemism to describe the sort of functions Dad had him doing..."

"You mean...YUCK!" Herakles winced, "I didn't know Dad was into Pedophilia!"

"Haven't you figured it out by now, Brother dear?" Maegara sighed, "Daddy dearest is into every kind of twisted perversion...it's what keeps him feeling young even after all these thousands of years."

"Maybe it's not entirely his fault for the way he turned out," Iolaus continued, "But as he got older, Lucifer showed more and more how little he enjoyed being used by that by taking every chance he could get to find ways to stick it back to Dad. Being a lowly Gofer let him figure out the ins and outs of power, helped him learn where all the bodies were buried down on Earth, got him in good with all the gossip lines along the grape vine of Olympus, so when he came of age he became the God of Politicians."

"Politics?" Herakles winced, making a holy sign of warding.

"Gotta give it to him," Maegara winced, "He was a very good Patron of that particular art...too good, as it turned out, which is what enabled him to nearly overthrow Daddy and set himself up as the new Godhead..."

"Um...excuse me," Antiope raised a hand as if asking for permission, "I remember hearing about that...but didn't Grandfather Zeus trap Lucifer up in a jar and send him soaring to the far ends of the earth or something?"

"Oh yeah," Iolaus sighed, "That's exactly what Dad did when he found out that it was Lucifer trying to steal his throne. You remember me telling you before, Herk, about how paranoid Dad is concerning a rumor-ne-legend that says that one of his own kids will eventually replace him, just like he replaced grandfather Chronos, and Chronos chopped the nuts off his own dad, Uranus?"

"Uh...yeah," Herakles winced, glancing at Maegara, "Your mom almost wound up a casualty of that, right?"

"Oh yes," Maegara smiled a bit sadly, "Mother was exiled precisely because of the fear that I would be born the natural successor to my father, and I had to work a lot of years to overcome the notion that I'd try and restore things to the way they were in the time of the Great Earth Mother, great-grandmother Gaea. In fact, a key part of Lucifer's plan involved implicating me as a co-  
conspirator in that plot he hatched, tricking the other gods to go along with him. In fact I even wound up under house arrest at one point before I was able to convince Daddy that I was on his side of the issue."

"The thing is," Iolaus continued, "Lucifer really does believe that he's fated to fulfill that prophesy and become the new Godhead...and he's got BIG IDEAS and grandiose ambitions to go along with his desire of being the Next Big Thing on the horizon. He warned us he'd be back when Dad sealed him up in that jar and gave him the old heave-ho off of Mount Olympus. Turns out his jar landed on a mountain in the far-off lands of the Arabians where some goat herder found it and broke the seal...maybe you've heard the legend of the kid and the genie?"

"Oh yeah," Antiope brightened, "I remember hearing about that! A boy freed a powerful spirit from a jug and was granted three wishes, right?"

"Worse than that," Maegara said grimly, "Lucifer was that powerful spirit, and he helped the boy grow up to become a Tribal Chieftain in the tribe of the Midianites, and from there he planted the seeds that eventually gave birth to a new religious cult that sprang up in the desert."

"They call them Hibiru," Iolaus explained, "An Egyptian word meaning 'Bandits,' and they've become a plague on shipping and trading on their Eastern territories. Lucifer even briefly got the ear of one of their Pharaohs, who went briefly on a Monotheism kick before the Priests of the Pantheon down there rose up in arms and put a stop to that nonsense. So far all Lucifer's managed to achieve with his following is to sack a few cities and the uniting of a bunch of tribes under a loose leadership of squabbling shaman-chiefs. Who knows what the future might hold if he gets a foothold in the region? So far they're not all that impressive as Cult movements go, but in the future?"

"Yeah, scary," Maegara agreed.

"Um," Genma spoke up rather suddenly, "Excuse me for asking this...but what exactly is this Lucifer fellow after this far away from his new country?"

"Well," Iolaus shrugged, "Lucifer's main contention is that the divine Power is too defuse, too divided among the various Gods of Olympus, to say nothing of the other Pantheons that prevail in other lands and places. He thinks that there should be One God over all others, that all Gods should kowtow to him no matter what pantheon they belong to. I mean...can you imagine that? Everybody on Earth worshipping just one guy and giving him all of their concentrated spiritual energy...now that would be scary!"

"Scary?" Herakles asked.

"Think about it," Maegara urged, "You know what our Dad is like...supposing he really did have absolute and unquestioning power over all living things...think what he'd do with that kind of power? I don't know about you, but I'd find that very scary!"

"But isn't he already the King of all the Gods?" Antiope asked.

"All the Gods in Greece," Iolaus replied, "But not the Gods of the Hittites, the Etruscans, the Egyptians, Phoenicians, Babylonians, Sumerians..."

"Cimmerians?" Genma asked.

"Them too," Iolaus answered.

"It's like this," Maegara explained, "We all believe in an absolute being who is beyond all gods and beyond all understanding...every pantheon accepts that principle, but the One Supreme Being is ineffable, beyond even the ability of the Gods to understand. A God like that is beyond the word God, as we understand it, but he-or she-is not a Personal God...not a hands-on kind of creator. A God like that works mysteriously through lesser beings, such as ourselves, in order to achieve his ends. We're the more Personal types of divinities, the sort who like and interact with people...but for one God to claim to be both Supreme and Personal...well...it's like the old Cretan saying: 'Power does not Corrupt, it magnifies the Corruption within you, and Absolute Power corrupts Absolutely.'"

"Just ask the Atlanteans about that," Iolaus added, "Their Mage-Kings had close to absolute power on Earth, and it went into a virtual implosion, caused the destruction of their Island empire, the scattering of the races and all that..."

"So let's just say that-as bad as things might seem to be at times-we'd prefer the current system to one where a single God was controlling everything," Maegara concluded, "It'd be like returning to the days when Chronos was in charge of everything, and nobody I know wants that!"

"Except Lucifer, of course," Iolaus noted.

"Except him, exactly," Maegara nodded.

"Oh wow," Antiope remarked, "I never thought about it like that. I mean...even Big Sister Hippolyta doesn't wield absolute power over all the Renunciates in Amazonia. Power's divided evenly among the tribes and each of us controls a portion of that in the Great Council..."

"So what did that creep want with me?" Herakles asked.

"I don't really know," Iolaus sighed, "And that worries me. Lucifer is a subtle kind of guy, he likes working from the shadows through stealth, subtlety and misdirection."

"You never see all his hand at one time," Maegara revealed, "And when you think you know what he's about, that's the time when you should be looking for hidden operations and motives."

"The guy's so crooked he can't even walk a straight line without stumbling over," Iolaus added, "But if you look him in the face he'll make you think he's your best buddy in the world, and he'll get you to hand over your firstborn son for slaughter. That guy cannot be trusted...ever! He pretends to be fairness and light, but his methods are as foul as high Sulfur charcoal."

"Aw, forget about him," Herakles shrugged, "I'd get a headache trying to figure a guy like that out. Let's just move on and get to Thebes before nightfall, okay?"

"Okay by me," Antiope shrugged, "I try and stay away from politics myself. I leave that kind of thing to my sisters."

As their group prepared to break camp and head back down the road leading into Thebes, a pair of eyes narrowed in dark amusement as the God named Lucifer smiled to himself and said, "So you think you have me figured out, do you, Sister Dear...well...you just keep on plotting your dreams of romance with our dear brother while others conspire to yank the Persian rug right out from under you...and speak of the Daemon himself...here comes brother Ares to launch his own dark schemes...ah yes...dear brother Ares...I see such possibilities for recruiting him into the coming World Order..." and with a silent laugh the Deceiver vanished from his place of concealment and retired to a far distant mountain volcano from whence he played the Benevolent Father figure for a tyrannical Priest King who unfailingly did his bidding...

Ares, of course, was not aware of his treacherous brother's recent premise, his focus upon yet another brother whom he wanted to crush under heel, armed with both a plan and a potion concocted from the Alchemy shop of his sister, Eris, which he planned to put to very good use shortly, all innocent and unaware of the jest the Fates were planning for all concerned parties...and if Herakles had known what was coming he would have started running for cover instead of blindly stumbling ahead into the encounter that awaited him in the very near future...

Continued.

Comments/Criticisms/Creon's Social Retirement Plan: shadowmane

What fate awaits Herakles in the city of Thebes? What evil scheme will Ares hatch for his "Baby Brother," and will Maegara get to score anytime soon? (And do I scent a Lemon in the works?) Be with us next time for: "The Big Olive," or "If It's From Thebes, it's a Tragedy!" Be there!

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If you wish to check out my other works, Please check out my Fanfiction webpage at: . All related chapters of this series can be found there along with my other works. 


	7. Chapter 7

Hercules 7

Hercules 1/2

"GENMA SAOTOME'S TIME AND SPACE MISADVENTURES!'

by Jim Robert Bader

(Inspired by the works of Rumiko Takahashi and Euripedes,  
with a VERY liberal interpretation on the latter...)

Chapter Seven.

Queen Jocasta was busy studying her reflection in the bronzed mirror, inspecting her features for potentially hidden flaws while deciding if her host body was truly up to the appropriate standards of one of her truly divine station. Since taking this body over, she had been busy making not-too-subtle "improvements" to shape it up into what she thought was a more heavenly standard, improving the bustline while narrowing the waist, widening out the hips slightly while taking a good twenty years or so off her age, having eliminated every single line that she could from her new features. She was now almost as perfect as human women could get in her own eyes, and by far a more appropriate vessel for the Queen of Olympus rather than some dusty old mortal town in the middle of no where.

The fact that she was in the body of the wife of a deposed monarch hardly bothered her at all...the man had been a brute by all estimations, even willing to expose his own son to the elements because the boy had been prophesized as having some trifling curse or other. That Jocasta's brother, General Creon, was now running the show was perfectly all right by her lights, since affairs of statecraft tended to bore her to tears while her preference was the smooth and efficient running of a house, being the patroness of all arts Domestic. Creon was an able general and a competent administrator, which was the sort of thing you needed in a King, she reasoned...and if not for the man's one lamentable character fault he would be perfect for the job...meaning he could run the actual statecraft while Jocasta remained behind the scenes plotting ways of manipulating her brother into doing her bidding.

That one fault being the man's sentimentality. He truly believed in the "Justice of the Heavens," and when the Gods told him to do something the simple-  
minded fool did it without question or hesitation. That had worked to her advantage when she had "convinced" him that the Gods wanted to sacrifice his only daughter to the hydra, a simple enough task for any god-fearing man to perform. The silly twit of a Princess had even professed to be willing to go to her death in order to serve the gods, being the sort of girl whose head was full of far too many romantic notions...and with her out of the way, Jocasta could line up Creon's young son to be the heir to a larger dynasty. That the boy was still only seven years old hardly mattered in her eyes...there were plenty of Kings with daughters willing enough to betroth their children at that age, and Jocasta was already going through the lists to pick the best one to make into an ally.

But Creon didn't see it that way...in fact, the man had locked himself in his room and was crying like a woman, beating his chest and bewailing that the gods were punishing him for his having overthrown the tyrant, Electryon...as if the crowds singing praises to his name for his heroic act was not thanks enough for all the trouble! Jocasta was thoroughly disgusted with her host's brother for letting a little thing like a sacrifice ruin his day...after all, what else were mortals for than to serve at the pleasure of the gods? If anything he should feel grateful at the honor!

Instead the man went and offered a reward for the death of the hydra, offering any price imaginable, even staking his throne to the hero who could rid their valley of the many-headed creature. Good thing no mere mortal was fool enough to take him up on such a ridiculous offer...that would surely spoil Jocasta's day, even if she did permit herself a slight twinge of remorse for her late and well lamented "niece," Maegara. She would have to remember to make a note to have her brother, Hades, give the child a good place in the Elysian fields where she could pleasantly while away her afterlife while waiting to reincarnate into some new vessel appropriate to such an empty-headed little twerp...

As she was musing on this on her divan, however, a messenger who claimed to have been to the outer provinces interrupted Jocasta in the act of eating her dinner. She waved the man forward and made her usual excuses for Creon's being indisposed and all that then asked to hear his report, which he gave just as she was taking a sip of mead from a ram's horn.

"My Queen...it give me great pleasure to announce that the Hydra is dead...I saw it's body curled up near the river!"

This was timed just right so that the man received the spray of mead in his face as Jocasta sat bolt upright on her divan and cried, "WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY...?"

"Ah..." the man wiped the foam from his eyes and continued, "I saw the body of the hydra, partially burned and curled up next to the river Boeotia and it looked to me quite dead. Of course I didn't get close enough to check the body for certain, but I thought the news important enough to rush back here in order to tell you and our new King the good news-URK!"

Jocasta held the man close to her face with one hand around his belt as she growled softly, "Who did this? Who fought the Hydra, and does he yet live?"

"I don't know my Queen, honest!" the man assured her, wondering why such great news should produce such a reaction.

"And what of my niece...the Princess Maegara?" Jocasta continued.

"I saw no sign of the Princess...but if she was eaten by the Hydra...that would hardly be surprising, now would it?"

"No," Jocasta let the man go and frowned softly, "That wouldn't be too surprising. But still..."

All at once Creon burst out from his chamber and cried, "IS IT TRUE? IS THE MONSTER TRULY DEAD?"

"Yes, my King," the messenger saluted, "I believe it is no more. A great hero might have use fire to kill the beast, it's only known weakness..."

"Thank the gods!" Creon cried to the ceiling, "This is wonderful news...but my daughter...is she still living?"

"Um...there's...always hope of this, of course," the man swallowed thickly.

"A hero must be abroad in the land, a hero who freed us from the tyranny of that monster!" Creon happily danced for joy and exultation, "And heroes never fail to save Princesses, right? That means my daughter must still be alive! After all, it's in the union rules for heroes!"

"Um...right, my King," the messenger said dubiously, "Shall I put out an all points bulletin to find him?"

"By all means yes!" the King replied, "If a hero is abroad in the land, then that means we could convince him to help rid us of the Sphinx, who has been preying upon travelers! Oh, happy day indeed! This is a sure sign that the Gods are smiling down on us, isn't that right, my Sister?"

"Oh yeah," Jocasta said with noticeably less enthusiasm, "Fantastic..."

"Well, what are you standing around here for, Man?" Creon said to the messenger, "Go prepare a celebration in honor of our new hero, and let it be known that I will make the man who freed us of the monster's tyranny the new King of Thebes! I never really wanted the job in the first place, don't you know, I only took it as a matter of duty..."

"Er...quite," the Messenger turned around and silently thanked the gods that he wasn't cursed with nobility...something in the gene-pool of most of the nobles he'd encountered...it was all that marrying your own sister or cousin, he avowed, it did something to the brain that made them act differently than other people...

Jocasta was not in a mood for celebrating, for she had a very good idea who the "Hero" abroad in the land would be, and if that were the case, then she had her work cut out for her preparing a proper "greeting" for her wayward "Stepson." If the hydra was not enough to curb this Hero's reputation, then something else of a more subtle nature surely would, and if that were the case, then she'd be able to rid herself of the annoying pest without Zeus being any the wiser.

Now...what could she do to make the boy set himself up for a fall? Perhaps something she could feed him that would give the boy higher than normal spirits...enough so, say, that he might go temporarily berserk and kill his own best friend, or the nearest equivalent of same...then, with murder fresh upon his hands, she could arrange for an appropriate punishment...yes...this was starting to sound good already.

Little did she know but there was someone else already on the trail with similar intentions towards Herakles, and yet whose methods would prove to have a very different-than-intended outcome...

Cleo burped, a happy, well fed and contented Sphinx, having satisfied two hungers for the price of one, and most appropriately indeed. She turned and played a clawed hand over the chest hair of the man who had tamed her needs and said, "Thank you for a most excellent feast, my good Hero..."

"Hey, it was nothing," Ithicles replied, "You weren't so bad yourself. Um...one thing though...is it bestiality when you make out with someone who's half woman and half cat?"

"No more than it was for my parents," she pointed out.

"Oh," he said, then paused to seriously think about that.

Cleo regarded the hapless lamb that they had caught which now roasted over a fire...reckoning that the taste of mutton was not so bad when you got used to it. Certainly nothing like the taste of human flesh, but one adapted to the times, and this rangy hero had proven far too convincing in his methods for her to want to spoil the moment by comparing him to chicken.

"So, what will you do now?" Ithicles asked.

"Well, thanks to you, I'm out of a job, but I don't really mind," Cleo replied, "Turns out I had the wrong assignment. Chalk it up to a bureaucratic snafu down in Luxor, but what are you gonna do about it? I guess going back to the real Thebes is out of the question...Sekhmet would have my hide over her mantle if she found out that I was tormenting the wrong people."

"I could vouch for you as a character witness," Ithicles offered, "But you'll have to reform your ways...no more eating innocent strangers."

"Whatever you say, Handsome," Cleo mused, "Mind if I stick around with you a while longer?"

"I don't mind at all," Ithicles replied, putting his brawny arm around the Sphinx's shoulder, "You're not really all that bad as companions go...once you overlook the cannibalism thing and all that..."

"Well, technically it isn't really cannibalism unless I eat another Sphinx, but...I see your point," Cleo replied, "No more tourists...they tend to get stuck between my teeth anyway. Just hope you're as randy on the trail when we set out again...um...after we get out of this blasted ravine."

"No problem for me," Ithicles replied, "I'm always finding myself in odd places, but I always get out on my own sooner or later."

"You're a man of many talents, Prince," Cleo leaned her head against his broad chest and smiled, content to listen to the beating of his heart rather than rip it out of his chest for consumption. She rather liked the way he was put together and decided she would prefer to keep him that way...at least for the moment, "So...is it true you're looking for your half-brother?"

"That's right," Ithicles replied, "Herakles. He was supposed to meet me for a man-to-man fight but got dragged away by our trainer, Uncle Genma. If I ever find the both of them, I'll give them what for, bailing out on me like that..."

"Ah, family," Cleo sympathized, "You should some of my litter mates. We were always going at it like kittens...well...sort of anyway..."

"I'm sure you were the pick of the litter," Ithicles assured her.

"Oh, you say the nicest things, Sexy," Cleo purred as she ran her fingers over his chest, down to lower regions that were showing signs of life making a comeback, "Are there more like you where you come from?"

"Well...kind of," Ithicles replied, then forgot what else he was about to say as Cleo took his mind in another direction...

Aphrodite was having the time of her Immortal life in this new body that she had taken for a host, though for the most part she was content to sit back in the back of Atalanta's mind and let her do most of the really hard work while the Goddess (metaphorically speaking) kicked up her heels and ate some popcorn while watching the in-flight movie. Just tracing the memories of this Atalanta's life made for fascinating study, from early childhood to a chance encounter with a young Herakles (and wasn't he just the cutest little thing at the age of six?) that had led the girl onto her current life direction. Clearly Atalanta had been put upon as a child, being abandoned by her real father and all that, but it surprised Aphrodite to no end to discover that Artemis had played such a large part in helping to rear her, even allowing the baby to suckle at her breasts (which had bestowed upon the infant girl a portion of her divine essence). Time and again Artemis had taken an interest in the girl's welfare and upbringing, showing an unusually maternal side to her character that Aphrodite had never heretofore suspected in her otherwise butch sister.

That Atalanta was misremembering the events of her early encounters with Herakles was no doubt a consequence of Artemis's sometime upbringing. A lot of violent anti-male bias had been put into the girl's head by the occasional rantings and even more frequent diatribes of her Jock/Huntress sister had obviously left its mark in Atalanta, prejudices that Herakles at first seemed to explode then later confirmed. It was obvious enough to Aphrodite that Genma was the real culprit who was guilty for most of these things, but Herakles had obviously been the target for blame in many of these situations. Given that, it was not hard for Aphrodite to not-so-humbly manipulate those currents in her mind so that Atalanta's memories became less contentious or Anti-Herakles, (even if Aphrodite were to allow a certain anti-male bias to otherwise remain) just to make it easier later to have the girl fall in love with her childhood sweetheart.

Other than that it was quite a fascinating study to see what it was like to be a Jock from the inside outward. Atalanta had lived quite an active life inside and outside of training, and she had mastered the difficult art of Pankratia-  
Grecian Wrestling-by first studying and then beating the boys she met at their own game, and thus gaining quite the reputation as a man-killer...literally. Her favorite sport was to challenge the men she encountered to a Pentathlon of challenges, first racing then archery then throwing discus, then vaulting high obstacles and lastly facing off in a wrestling match, where she always wound up the winner...that being as much due to her divinely bolstered strength as to her skill and determination as a fighter. When she won against a man she would either break their backs or in some other way humble them so that it would spread the reputation about her to other would-be challengers that there was a price to be paid for going up against Atalanta.

Not too surprisingly she had trouble getting dates with that attitude, but since Atalanta professed to hating men (though-and this Aphrodite found most strange-she did not similarly profess to liking women), and all-she claimed-  
-because a boy had betrayed her trust...as if such a thing would justify her attitude...it was most confusing.

Personally Aphrodite thought the real reason for Atalanta's disdain towards relationships had to do with the discovery that her real father valued her more for breeding stock than as an actual daughter. When he had discovered that his child was still alive he had repented of her abandonment and had seemed to welcome her home with open arms, only to reveal later that he had betrothed Atalanta-without her knowledge-to that arrogant boy who alone had beaten her in combat. He gave Atalanta an option to back out of the engagement, of course, but only if she would let him choose another match more to his liking with one of the various Princes of the region...and now his brother was offering to do the same thing with her and Prince Androgynous of Crete. It was enough to make almost any girl vow to remain single!

Of course Aphrodite had tried the marriage route two times before herself, and the surest way to bore her to tears was to go on about "the Sanctity of Marriage," which was Hera's beef, not Aphrodite's. She liked variety in her choices and had enjoyed a number of flings with mortals over the years (some even resulting in children, though that was another epic story). She had done her part for the procreation of her species, she just wanted to have fun in as many interesting ways as she could discover, falling just short of the "Whips and Chains" route. So long as there was not a lot of pain involved, she was game to try nearly anything, and it was the act of love that was her favorite specialty and area of Patronage, consensualism that involved the participation of any two or more parties in the celebration of love through the act of carnal satiation. Confining herself to only one partner was just not her bag, unless she happened to meet a guy who could keep her satisfied for longer than a single evening.

Heck, it didn't even have to be a guy, or even a human in her book, but she did draw the line at taking them a bit too young...that was just a little too much like Daddy's bag for her peace of mind. All that was needed in her eyes was a strong bond of attraction and emotion, the physical and the spiritual kind, though true Agape-the selfless state of love pure and personified-was much too rare for her to handle. She left things like that to her son, Cupid, who was always matching people up in mismatched monogamous relationships, not that she faulted her beautiful boy for having such crummy eyesight...

Anyway, the one thing she did not dig into was the Renunciate philosophy of her daughter, Hippolyta, who had sworn off men for anything but the occasional recreational sex toy. She knew of far-eastern Cults that touted the state of sexless ecstasy as some kind of high mystical union, but those guys hated their bodies and generally treated women like dirt, just as women who vowed to remain sexless in a pure "virginal" state, much like her Aunt Hestia's Temple "Virgins," tended to irritate Aphrodite something fierce. Didn't these guys have a clue to what they were missing? And here was Atalanta holding to an oath that was a little too close to complete abstinence for Aphrodite's peace of mind. She simply had to do something about this or the poor girl would die an old maid, shriveled up like a raisin, her beauty wasted, which was a crime to Aphrodite's way of thinking.

Fortunately she could get around her host's anti-man proclamation by working a bit with her memories to insure that she was sufficiently "softened up" for her meeting with Brother Herakles. It was a simple enough matter, really...just concentrate a bit more on the good times that they had enjoyed together as childhood playmates, add a bit of wistfulness for the brief period in her life when she had actually enjoyed being a girl for his benefit, then soften the bitter feelings of betrayal by adding a touch of doubt that a ten year old boy could truly have contemplated something as deceitful as a "Marriage Pact" without her knowing. Those Golden Apples, which had been the prize for their race, had probably been squandered by his Satyr guardian for some food and fun on the sidelines...it was doubtful that Herakles would even know what happened to them himself, though she might at least ask him first before attempting to bash his head in with her war hammer.

Other than that Aphrodite was perfectly content to let Atalanta do the steering, the Jock knowing how her body worked best and all that was the natural driver for all the essential functions, all Aphrodite had to do was sit back and work the mental levers to help steer her to where she was going. A little judicious application of a spell or two, plus some false memories later, and she had Atalanta cross the several days of travel time between Corinth and Thebes in a little over a few hours with her host being none the wiser. Atalanta was too set and determined to fulfill her "Vengeance Quest" to notice anyway that she had not eaten and slept in the time that it would normally take her to cover such a distance, and her body was in excellent good shape, almost a perfect physical specimen (not too surprising since a bit of Artemis flowed within her, now bolstered by Aphrodite's essence). She was almost to her target and could sense the nearness of Herakles and a least two more of his kin when something jangled on her nerves like an alarm bell.

Atalanta paused as Aphrodite felt the cold, familiar presence of her former husband, and then she let her host scan the area with a sweeping glance...and-  
sure enough-there was his war chariot descending from the heavens.

What was Ares doing here? Up to no good, she had no doubt of it, in which case Aphrodite's arrival could not have been timed better. This was just the sort of underhanded skullduggery she might have expected him to pull while Aphrodite was out scoring with another man, the louse! Well...if he thought he was going to get away with it, he had another thought coming! Aphrodite smiled as the chance to yank her ex-husband/brother in the shorts presented itself, and so with a few judicious commands she had Atalanta veer off her course and go into stealth mode, becoming the blonde-haired huntress...

Ares was smirking grandly beneath his helmet as he spotted his brother breaking camp, along with Hermes and Athena. Antiope was there as well, which briefly puzzled Ares as she was not the daughter he would have expected to be on a blood hunt for a man this time around, but he dismissed the point as having no immediate relevance. Instead he tapped the pouch which contained the love potion that he had concocted within Eris's Apothecary laboratory and grinned as he considered how best he would use it to screw things up for his annoying "little brother." Having him fall hopelessly for one of the women currently hankering for his body might have small satisfaction in the short run, but if he could work it just right so that Herakles fell for the WRONG party...now that would be worth a laugh riot!

But who to fix him up with? Hermes? That might we worth a few laughs, but Ares doubted he could get much satisfaction out of that, and besides, they might even decide they liked each other on their own. No...it had to be something so beneath consideration that it would make Herakles an object of scorn and pity for all who saw him with his "true beloved." Maybe a really old and ugly hag? Some beast of the fields? Maybe even an inanimate object? Tartarus, it could just as easily be his own reflection in a bronzed mirror, like Narcissus of ages long past. All that it mattered to Ares was that it be someone or something which Herakles would not choose to love of his own volition, preferably something which stirred up a lot of conflict...and with his attention focused on only one thing, those Goddesses who presently lusted after the boy would turn up their noses in revulsion and wonder what they ever saw in the clown in the first place.

Of course, if Ares were truly feeling sadistic, he could just as well make Herakles fall for Aphrodite, his ex-wife. That was a fate Ares would truly not want to wish on his own worst enemy! Oh, sure she was Goddess of Love and Beauty, and most men might think they'd want such a flighty little twit in their beds, but the first thing you'd know she'd be chasing after other guys, calling you inadequate, making insults about your performance, do a thousand and one little things to drive you mad and then turn around and blame you if you DARED to complain about them, and even make you feel like it was your fault in the first place!

No, Ares shuddered, definitely not Aphrodite. He might be peeved with his little Brother, but there were just some things that you did not do to another man's gonads! Even Ares had to draw the line somewhere, so he'd find another appropriate outlet for his malice, preferably one that would give him a lot of chuckles when contemplating, not wince in sympathy for his intended victim...

Little did he know but the very object of his scornful recollection was spying him from within the body of her chosen "Vessel," and Aphrodite/Atalanta was frowning as they saw the War God pat his belt pouch with a sinister expression. Even bereft of her divine senses, Aphrodite would have been able to guess that the pouch contained something that was definitely meant to bring harm to her intended. She did not know what the exact nature of that thing would be, but she resolved on the spot that the one whom it would be used upon would definitely NOT be Herakles, and she conveyed similar such sentiments to Atlanta under the provision of "If anybody is going to hurt him, it's going to be by my hand...Sugar."

Meanwhile Herakles, all innocent and unknowing of these things, was hefting up his gear and slinging it under one arm while his small band of kin, plus his trainer, fell in step with him as he returned to the road leading towards the city of Thebes. Antiope volunteered to take point, being a natural tracker and an Amazon, used to taking the lead in most travel situations, but Herakles urged her to stay near at hand and not to wander too far ahead of their group, even as he set a good pace meant to allow the more delicate Maegara to tread by his side, even if her bare feet were not entirely "road-worthy."

After a few minutes of travel he decided to bring this up and said, "How you handling things, Sis?"

"Fine," she winced, then said a few rude things about a pebble that she had accidentally stepped upon, which caused Iolaus to smirk in some amusement.

"Don't tell me you've turned into a real tenderfoot, eh Sister?" he inquired.

"I said I was fine," Maegara said in some annoyance, "It's just...this body isn't quite as hardened as my own...the Princess was used to wearing sandals everywhere she walked, and she rarely ventured far beyond the walls of the palace."

"You gonna be all right, Sis?" Herakles asked in some concern.

"Oh sure," Maegara found herself smiling back at him, touched by the concern she read in his expression, "I will work to harden this body so that it can endure the stresses that it will need to bear with me in the driver's seat. I just need a little more time to assimilate the limitations that come with being mortal...it has been quite a while since the last time I incarnated, after all, and...WHOOP!" she gasped as she suddenly found herself borne aloft onto Herakles's shoulder.

"Take a load off your feet and ride with me a bit while you do that," Herakles urged, "You don't weigh that much and there's no reason I can't give you a lift until we near the city outskirts."

Any protest Maegara might have offered went unvoiced as she contemplated her new advantage, settling in atop her brother's Lionskin-clad shoulders and finding the spot surprisingly comfortable, and the sense of tremendous power under her legs proved enormously distracting, so much so that she decided to go along for the ride for a few leagues...or possibly longer.

Of course the slight flush of her cheeks and the rising of other hormonal responses just made the ride all that much more enjoyable, and it allowed her to quietly speed up the healing process on the tender soles of her feet, to subtly "toughen" them up a bit so that the next time she had to walk she wouldn't wind up so foot-sore (one problem that she had never had to endure as a Goddess). This "Helpless Damsel" routine was all well and fine for attracting a potential husband, but Athena was more of the "do it yourself" variety of heroine, having grown up in the spirit of martial self-reliance...

The way into town was not a very long one, but they did have to stop at a nearby stream in order to fill their goatskin pouches with fresh water, at which point Maegara took the opportunity to stretch her legs and wash her feet in those soothing waters. As she reclined by the low bank of this fresh runoff of mountain pure water she chanced to notice that Herakles was looking at her in a very odd way. Maegara became immediately conscious of the torn and disheveled state of her single article of clothing and wished fervently that she had brought her knitting needles and stitching thread down with her from Olympus, but-oddly-she didn't mind letting him get a good view of those exposed areas of her body. The way Herakles was studying her, it was almost like he had never seen what a woman looked like before, and Maegara had the oddest impulse about showing herself off to greater effect, so she slipped out of her clothing and waded into slow-moving water until she was waist deep, then sinking into the cool bath while smiling at him in a none-too-subtle manner.

"Care to come in and help me wash my back?" she asked in a roughened voice that was more velvety than normal.

"Gah?" Herakles blinked, but then he remembered something significant and said, "Ah...maybe that's not such a good idea...I mean...I won't be a guy if I go in there..."

"So?" Maegara just deepened her smile, "What's your point? You don't think I'd enjoy you just as much as a woman?"

"Er...well..." Herakles swallowed a thick lump that suddenly formed around his throat and forced himself to look away from the VERY attractive vision of the redheaded Maegara-who oddly did seem to closely resemble the Goddess within her, "Um...mind if I ask you something, Sis?"

"I don't mind, ask anything you want," she said as she leaned back and stretched one bare leg out of the water, noticing how he was almost magnetically drawn to studying it in spite of his conscious desire not to, his eyes tracing each sensuous curve from her toes to her hips, then up to the exposed areas of her upper body, including her breasts, which were very well-shaped indeed and as full as a ripe pair of...

Herakles tried to stifle that thought as a noticeable bulge made its presence known in his loincloth. He had to cough to clear his voice again as he said, "I was just wondering...hypothetically...if I were to, uh...pick you, say...and another other sister...would I be marrying you or...the girl whose body you're wearing?"

Maegara had to pause and blink her eyes at that, then she thought about it for a moment and said, "Oh...ah...I...um...never thought of that...oh my..."

"I was just asking because...well," Herakles made a vague gesture with both hands, "I know this whole thing started because Dad wanted to bring me all the way into the family...meaning he wanted me to pick one of you...but if I have to marry the you that's currently in that body...well...it doesn't really sound all that fair to the real Maegara...you know what I'm saying?"

Maegara was very quiet as she thought that over, but then she looked at him soberly and said, "She says she doesn't mind. She says I can marry you if you want and use her body as much as you'd like."

"But I wouldn't want to take advantage of a mortal like that," Herakles explained, "She's just a kid, she doesn't really know that much about life, and if she thinks she's giving you the edge because you're a Goddess and it's some kind of an honor..."

"Oh no," Maegara replied, "She's quite emphatic about it...she wants you to have your way with her...with us...with both of us...I think she would enjoy seeing and experiencing you through my senses, and...Oh my...ah...remember what I said before about her having a rather overactive imagination? And how did she get ahold of that Egyptian Love Scroll anyway? OH MY! It was really that graphic...?"

Herakles was puzzled by the slightly introverted stare of the stunning redhead and not at all on his guard when he sensed something was amiss and began to tense up...just before a body went plowing into him from behind and bore him down into the river, a pricking thrust at his back driving hard against his shoulder blades as Herakles felt himself shift into female form, rolling over on her side so that she could tumble her attacker off her back and into the water.

A strange girl presented herself to her eyes as Herakles wrestled with his attacker, who was far stronger than any ordinary mortal woman. Herakles, however, proved the stronger of the two of them and got a better grip on the other girl, applying a choke hold to immobilize her until Maegara came to her aid and helped overpower this stranger with a hastily applied sleep spell.

As Herakles bore the stunned girl to the bank of the stream, Maegara cautioned him by saying, "Be careful...she's resisting my power. I don't think she's an ordinary mortal..."

"Tell me what I don't already know," Herakles grumbled as she lay the other girl out on dry ground, then went back into the water to fetch her lionskin, which had saved her from being impaled from behind. The spear that Maegara fished out of the water was of no ordinary manufacture, having a special blade that did not look to be of earthly manufacture, a point brought home when Maegara revealed who owned it.

"It's one of Artemis's weapons," she said, "Forged by brother Heph himself and capable of piercing through a dragon's scales. How did your lionskin withstand it?"

"It belonged to the Nemean Lion," Herakles shuddered a bit as if from a particularly unpleasant memory, "Ask Uncle Genma for the details..."

Just then Genma and Iolaus came rushing up with Antiope to see what had caused the commotion, only to pause as they saw the unconscious girl, whom Herakles was busy binding up with leather strips torn from her own furred tunic.

"Herk, what happened here?" Iolaus asked, "And who is that?"

"At a guess," Herakles gazed down at her black haired assailant, "I'd say this is Arti's newest victim. Why don't we ask her...she's coming out of it already."

"Persistent lady," Genma mused, "Have to give her credit for trying."

"You mean she did it to someone else?" Antiope made a face, "And to think, I've actually made offerings at her temple..."

The eyelashes fluttered open and then the strange girl looked up to see the cross expression of Maegara, who was even then putting back on her own torn and rent outfit. She next turned to see the female Herakles standing close nearby and looking equally cross, only now the brunette's eyes widened in startled, as though unprepared for the physical transformation.

She tested the straps around her wrists and ankles then growled, "Not again...!"

"Don't worry," Herakles replied, "You're not under any Amazon oath this time, and it was 'Thena here who did the take-down."

"Don't you ever give up, Artemis?" Maegara frowned.

"Call me Chalcione...that's the name of the girl whose body I'm wearing," the brunette struggled a bit more until convinced that she could not easily escape, "Damn...I'm sure I had you that time...what went wrong?"

"Plus two spear," Iolaus replied, "Unfortunately, that's a plus four Lionskin...impenetrable to anything but Orichalcum."

"The Nemean Lion was a tough old bugger," Genma nodded simply, "But the Boy managed to take it down by strangling it to death, after which he could tan the hide with the help of an enchanted dagger that he borrowed from a helpful smith..."

"You mean you stole it and let me use it, you old Grifter," Herakles grumbled.

"Heph's knife?" Iolaus was surprised, "He's about the only one I know who can make Orichalcum..."

"No, this happened a while ago when we were traveling through Corinth," Herakles made a dismissive gesture, "It's a long story...but the lionskin's saved my hide on many occasions...not that it lets you off the hook with me for how I got it..."

"Why?" Antiope asked.

The blonde female Herakles just glared at Genma and said, "You might say it has to do with a bet the old fart here wagered with this desert chieftain, back when they threw me into a pit full of starving lions on account of some horses they claimed you stole, Old Man."

"We didn't steal them, Boy," Genma resolutely insisted, "We were in a hurry and didn't have any local currency to trade, and we turned them loose just as soon as we got to our chosen destination..."

Maegara turned an appalled look towards Herakles and said, "A pit of starving lions?"

"Yeah," Herakles grunted, "That was the bet...if I got out of there alive, they wouldn't grind Uncle here into powdered components for aphrodisiac potions."

"Grind him into powder?" Chalcione winced, "That's disgusting!"

"So what happened?" Iolaus asked.

Herakles shuddered, "Let's just say I survived...but the old fool here calls it training!"

"I call it the Makoken, Boy," Genma folded his arms resolutely, "The Lion Fist, and you have to admit, it is pretty effective."

"Oh yeah," Herakles visibly sweated, "Everytime I see a lion I get this urge to run for the tall timbers...but if I get surrounded by the bloody things...I go berserk and mentally turn into a lion myself...and I tend to rip to shreds anyone and anything who gets in my way, as those bandits found out the hard way..."

"That's terrible," Maegara declared in dismay, touching Herakles by the arm and saying, "You must have suffered horribly to become like that..."

"So how come you don't freak out from wearing the Nemean lionskin?" Antiope wondered.

"I don't really know...and I don't care to know either," Herakles shuddered, "It's dead, that's all I care about it...and it's tougher than bronze plate, so it keeps me safe from backstabbing little minxes who won't take no for an answer!"

Chalcione winced slightly looked away with a very uncomfortable expression.

"Mind answering me something, Sis?" Iolaus asked, "What's with the new body? You look like some kind of a wild-woman."

"Blame it on Dad, not me," Chalcione grumbled, "I went back to Olympus and told him I was disqualified, but he still insisted on sending me back down here...so I picked the first body I could find that was in good enough shape to make the journey, one that could stand a little punishment, and whom I was reasonably sure wouldn't be attractive to Little Brother here. Chalcione's a pig farmer, raises really large critters that she almost treats like puppies. In fact I brought one of her prized boors with me all the way from Erymantha, our home province..."

"Boors?" Herakles asked nervously.

"Ah..." Antiope slowly turned around, feeling hot breath on her backside, to which her eyes got very wide and she gasped, "You mean...like...that?"

All head slowly turned to take in the sight of a creature roughly the size of a small elephant, sporting razor sharp upward-thrusting tusks that would have done credit to a saber toothed tiger. Two reddish eyes bore angrily down upon the blonde Herakles, who was standing in a threatening manner directly over his mistress.

"Oboy," Maegara winced.

"Now that's some pig," Iolaus agreed as he hastily swallowed.

"Say hello to Eurypylus, Little Brother," Chalcione smiled, "He's just dying to greet you."

"Uh...hi?" Herakles squeaked in a slightly off-key manner...

Ares choose the point of ambush and grinned to himself as he held the potion in one hand, a dagger in the other. All he needed from this vantage point was one good shot to hurl his enchanted blade at his intended quarry and brother Herakles would be smitten by the first thing that he next saw. Ares had been very careful in choosing this sniper point for delivering his fateful "message of love" to "dear old" Herakles, and one clear shot was all he needed. With any luck he'd catch Herakles at right the right angle when he was turned away from the girls, and then Ares would trot out the homely nag that he had chosen to be the new "bride" for this so-called hero, and then everyone in Olympus would know what end of the worn out plowhorse his brother would be kissing. To Ares's way of thinking this was almost perfect!

Of course what he failed to take into account was Atalanta sneaking up behind him, spying the dagger and doing an "Aura-check" to confirm its enchanted nature.

(I thought so,) Aphrodite mused from within the female Blacksmith's mind, {A love spell of some kind, mixed in with an Amnesia spell...one hit and the person taking it to the hilt will fall madly for whatever it is they next see, and they'll forget all else, like any prior commitments.)

This was very "Not Good" to Aphrodite's way of thinking, so she decided to wait and bide her time until she judged that Ares was sufficiently distracted, then she'd do him one better. All she needed was to get the knife away from Ares hand, and for that she'd need a distraction, but...

Just then a commotion came from up the road, causing Ares to tense as he readied to let fly with the knife. As Ares sensed his chance approaching he naturally assumed that the hulking form of his brother would be the first thing he would see, and so he was quite unprepared when it turned out to be the female form of the cursed Herakles who came charging down the path, followed in rapid good order by a lumber mountain of brown, bristly fur and a pair of tusks, which was trying to trample the fast-moving blonde, who was barely managing to stay a few feet ahead of its snout.

"SOMEBODYSTOPTHISCRAZY THING!" the blonde "Alcides" cried out as she barreled down the trail, heedless of where she was going as the giant boor behind her led impetus to her rapidly moving feet.

"Huh?" Ares blinked his eyes, wondering what it was about this scene that he was missing.

That was when Atalanta saw her chance and snatched the knife from the unresisting fingers of the momentarily distracted war-god, then-without breaking a single motion she rounded the knife about and jabbed it at an unprotected part of his armor, catching Ares by surprise as the enchantment on the blade entered his system in a rush and causing his Immortal body to stiffen slightly.

Then Atalanta spied the boor fully and grinned, the golden opportunity too much to resist as she gave Ares a playful little shove, sending him tumbling from his purchase to land flat on his back, directly in the path of Herakles and the four-ton giant down directly behind her.

"GETOUTTAMYWAY!" Herakles cried as her voice caused Ares to look up and see her, the next thing she knew her foot was connecting with his face and she sprang over the toppled War-God, leaving the boor to finish the process of trampling the befuddled war-god under hoof. Herakles and Pig continued on down the trail at a dead run as Ares stared up at the sky seeing spiraling pinwheels and little pink-shaped hearts swim before his vision as his mind suddenly filled with images of the fleet-footed blonde girl.

"Good luck, Brother!" a cheerful voice called down at him from above, "Hope you enjoy having many little piglets with your sow!"

"Sow?" Ares repeated the world with slight confusion, then a smile crept across his face as he declared, "My love is no mere Sow, woman...she is a Goddess!"

"Yeah, whatever," Atalanta made a dismissing gesture, having heard enough of Ares's vain attempts a "love poetry" to last her an immortal lifetime.  
C "In fact," Ares slowly stood and drew his sword, a crazed look coming over his features, "I must go rescue my fair maiden lest she be hurt by that awful brute which even now menaces her delicate person. My golden-haired Goddess will not go without a champion, I swear it!"

"Huh?" Atalanta blinked, belatedly realizing that it was not the Pig to whom the war-god was referring, "Hey...wait a minute, that's my-!"

She was too late to register her protest as Ares took off at a dead run, waving his sword in the air as he cried out that his "Fair Maiden" need not worry, that soon delivery would be rendered. It was as Atalanta was slowly absorbing this development that Iolaus, Antiope, Maegara and Chalcione came running up the trail, followed by a goat-hoofed Genma, all struggling to keep up with the cloud of dust that marked the passage of Herakles and the large Pig that was seeking to stomp her.

"This is all your fault, Artemis!" Maegara called back to her sister.

"Yeah, yeah, so sue me," Chalcione retorted.

"I do hope sister-Aunt Herakles will be all right," Antiope remarked, "Big sister Hippolyta will be very cross with me if I let anything bad happen to her wife-husband..."

"That's just like the boy to really bring home the bacon," Genma grumbled.

"Ooooh," Maegara grumbled, "I'm really going to have to thunderbolt you for that one when we get back to Olympus..."

"I sure hope that pig isn't carnivorous," Iolaus remarked, "And I hope it doesn't have a taste for Chicken either!"

"Bloody hell," Atalanta stood around wondering what to do, then she noticed that she held a pouch in one hand that she had taken off of Ares, and doubtless there was more of the love potion inside there, which meant that she could cure Ares of his sudden affliction...or...

...Or she could make Herakles fall in love with her...either way, she had to catch up with them all if she was going to make a timely rescue of her future husband...

Future husband? Yes, they were engaged, but still...

Well...never mind that, the point is-GET MOVING GIRL!

Wondering where that voice had come from in her mind, Atalanta leaped down from her ambush point and took off at a run, hoping that she could catch up to the odd parade heading towards Thebes like a Nemean cyclone, all the while wondering who these people were that she was chasing, and what did any of this have to do with her missing rat of a future husband...?

Continued.

Comments/Criticisms/Recipes for Giant Pig Stew: shadowmane

Will Herakles-um-Alcides make it to Thebes in time, or will she succumb to the pounding hooves of four tons of raging mad Pork? Will Ithicles find his way there as well, and what of Oedipus, the lame-footed fellow we met in the last episode? And what fiendish scheme is Jocasta/Hera hatching now? Find out next time in: "Tusk, Tusk," or "Don't Trod On Me!" Be there!

X -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

If you wish to check out my other works, Please check out my Fanfiction webpage at: . All related chapters of this series can be found there along with my other works. 


	8. Chapter 8

Hercules 8

Hercules 1/2

"GENMA SAOTOME'S TIME AND SPACE MISADVENTURES!"

by Jim Robert Bader

(Inspired by the works of Rumiko Takahashi &amp; the playwright Euripides, who "cleaned it up"  
a bit for his version...)

Chapter Eight.

AMAZONIA-The Capital of Themiscrya Late Bronze Age (1254 BC)

The "Palace" of Themiscrya (if such it might be called that) was nothing like what poets and artisans of subsequent eras would describe, being a largely wooden structure whose carved beams and ornately sculpted frame had a very colorful range of hues tastefully arrayed in rustic tones that were both picturesque and quite relaxing to the mind and eye of the Queen who dwelt there. There were no marble columns in this time and place, no Doric architecture such as would be found in the lower Grecian city states over seven centuries into the future. The Amazons were a largely nomadic people who used huts with mud and daub for temporary shelter, skilled at erecting hide-tents when on the move with their herds of domesticated game and horses on fixed migratory ranges. Being mostly horse-archers who moved freely about their own country, they had little need for cities and fixed structures to serve their needs, other than those villages where they left the men and their children behind, and even these were seasonal structures, meant to be taken apart for transportation when the time came to move on to more bountiful pastures.

There were few permanent structures in Amazonia, but Themiscrya was the exception, both a ceremonial and religious Mecca for the Amazon culture, to say nothing of being the Summer Home and seat of power for the royal Court that surrounded High Queen Hippolyta (whose name, curiously enough, meant "Stampeding Horses").

There were five major tribes in Amazonia, each one headed by a different Queen, each Queen an Immortal sister to Hippolyta, surrounded by the clans who were their "children" and descendants, the sacred branches of a greater tree that stretched on back a thousand years or more of Amazon history. They were the Sacred Clans, each dedicated to their individual ruler, united by oath and blood as the Sisterhood of Steel, the Renunciate Empire. Each tribe had its own lands, it own migratory paths, its own private rituals and customs in the framework of the larger Amazon Way, a Matriarchal order in which men were a secondary-yet-needful component, hardly a slave class or the "emasculated" cripples described in slanderous legends told by the enemies who lived beyond their borders.

And yet these clans could thrive independently, exchanging blood when needful, with each Clan Chief fully capable of leading without direct instruction from above, it was fully possible for the Queen herself to take time off from her otherwise heavy duties, and with that spirit in mind Hippolyta-the Spiritual and Moral head of her own Empire-resolved to take off on what might be called a "Husband Quest," a polite euphemism for a special kind of "Blood Hunt" that Amazons would partake in when the object of their romantic intentions had momentarily eluded their immediate custody.

Hippolyta was leaving her Empire behind to partake in a rather unusual contest between herself and some of her "divine kin" from Mount Olympus. Winning a man had never seemed as important as when her pride as a woman was at stake, and this...Herakles...was certainly a very rare specimen of the male sex, even given that he turned into a really cute girl, statuesque and buff well unto Amazon standards.

Having to compete against the formidable likes of Artemis, Athena and her own mother, Aphrodite, was certainly a challenge, but Hippolyta had never been one to shy from a little competition. That those three were the very patrons worshipped by the Amazons as their guiding inspiration was only of secondary consideration...Hippolyta's memory was long enough that she could remember what those goddesses were like when they were merely her doting Aunts, and she knew their strengths and weaknesses, their attractive points and their less attractive features. Artemis was very solidly anti-male, having a roving eye for any cute girl who might happen to catch her eye (this Hippolyta knew from personal experience, she rather blushed to recall over a thousand years after the event), Athena was brainy but very much a social wallflower, inexperienced in relationships and entirely too introverted to make an easy conquest from a hunk like her half-brother. And as for her mother, the Goddess of Love and Beauty...well, loyal daughter that she was, Hippolyta had to smile at that one, knowing how much her mother had the attention span of a sparrow and the libido of a rabbit in heat. Not much competition there, unless you were looking for a one-time quickie.

As for Eris, Goddess of Madness...Hippolyta could only shudder, reckoning that there were some fates that no one-not even a guy-deserved to have visited upon him...

Hebe was another matter altogether, a quiet sort, unpretentious, unassuming, quite unlike most other goddesses on Mount Olympus and certainly feminine enough to attract the eye of any man who liked a modest companion in a wife, and she certainly would make quite a domestic catch. Hippolyta knew that she could not on a cold day in Tartarus compete with her Aunt on that level, but if she were to have Herakles for a husband, she would have to impress on him that she had other womanly qualities that he might like in a companion.

For one thing she might try to soften up the impression that she might have made at their first meeting...this bit of advice care from her more intelligent sister, Oresteis, who had cautioned her that she might have turned this Herakles away with her attitude and implied threat of turning him into a domestic. After considerable thought on the matter, Hippolyta had to concede that point, reckoning that her future husband was the sort of man who would not domesticate easy.

That being said, Hippolyta would just have to teach him that a woman could be his equal...that he might well be the son of Zeus, and a great fighter, but that the daughter of Ares was more than worthy to be his mate...and if he failed to be convinced, well...then she would teach him the hard way.

And so she rode off from her palace, a Queen astride her mighty war-mare, weapons in the saddle, padded leather jerkin with brass armored plates in place, a heavy cloak across her shoulders and a headpiece that served as both crown and headband, keeping her hair out of her eyes as she faced squarely ahead, tall and proud in her saddle. To each side a column of warriors cheered her on, confident that their Queen was about to score yet another victory in a long and glorious career that had only rarely known failure. That their Queen rode without escort was but a token show of her confidence that her divine might would prevail, though her loyal Warband of close followers might complain at being left out of this particular action.

So too her sisters remained behind with something less than full enthusiasm in their expressions. The Queen had left the running of their country in the hands of the Elders with the three remaining Queens forming an advisory council. Melanippe (whose name meant "Black Mare") was officially in charge of their combined military forces, all their mounted archers and mobile cavalry from the various tribes being at her disposal in case of an enemy taking advantage of Hippolyta's temporary absence. Oresteis was in charge of their spiritual and religious Lore, and the priests of their temples would answer to her guidance, even as Penthesilea ("Compelling Men to Mourn") would handle patrols along the western marshes to insure that the Centaurs and their other more rowdy neighbors behaved themselves for the duration.

Of troubling concern was the inexplicable absence of Antiope, who would normally be left in charge of patrolling the southern Marshes, yet whose disappearance left a critical opening in their nation's defenses. Hippolyta and her sisters had consulted the Lore Mistress over her disappearance, only to be given the cryptic explanation that their somewhat flighty blonde sister had been chosen by the Goddess (notably absent was the name of WHICH goddess was in question) for a great purpose, the nature of which-inconveniently enough-was not included in the details.

Hippolyta wondered what this might portend in her quest. Was it possible one of her Aunts might have chosen Antiope for a host? And-if so-did that mean that she was going to have to go up against her own beloved sister?

The way was long to Thebes, across hostile lands where men did not value the Amazons for anything but target practice, but Hippolyta was a skilled tracker who knew the hidden ways that most men could not follow. Being an Immortal herself helped a lot as she could endure terrain and hardships most ordinary mortals would find daunting. In good time she would reach the lands of her future husband (after, of course, she switched the heavy ceremonial garments she currently wore for something lighter, less showing and infinitely more practical for travel), hopefully before he committed himself to one or more of her aunts...but...if he did choose another before her, well...there were always other options to consider, such as a double or group marriage. It would please her greatly if-by some chance-the incarnate Avatar of one of her Aunts might become her co-wife, especially as it would give Hippolyta a chance to assert a dominant position, and would it not be an irony of the fates to claim the mortal host of one of her patrons as her subordinate co-wife? Possibly even Artemis herself (though even by her lights that seemed unlikely), or even her mother (though, in truth, that aspect gave her some qualms to consider...such as what you were supposed to do if your co-wife was also at one time your own mother?).

Well, she had two advantages working for her, one being that she had a thousand years more experience in a mortal Avatar than any of her Goddess kin, the other being the favor of Hecate, who would most probably keep her husband too busy with her chosen Labors to fool around much with one or more of her rivals. Time was not necessarily her ally, though, and every moment she dallied gave the others a greater chance of winning "Uncle Herakles" over. So, with that in mind, she set a good pace for her horse and headed due South-Westerly, towards the land of the Acheans and the destiny that awaited her arrival, confident in the belief that she would prevail and gain a husband, the first that she had taken in many long centuries.

Little did she know, however, her so-called "rivals" were presently joining together and at least forming a tentative consensus, an "honor truce" of convenience...at least for that very moment...

"So, this is Thebes, huh?" Herakles remarked as he limped into town at the head of his very odd procession.

"That's right," Genma nodded, "The place where you were born, Boy, and there on that hill is the palace where I first met you."

"Ah, Civilization," Iolaus smiled.

"Looks like a dump to me," Chalciope griped.

"Like I said," Iolaus repeated, "Civilization."

"Thebes," Maegara remarked, "Largest city of Boetia, part of the Aeolian Confederation of united City States, population over six thousand, two hundred prominent families, the rest peons and craftsmen, slaves and freemen alike. The city of a thousand stories, a prize for which many acts of regicide and intrigue have been enacted..."

"Six thousand people?" Antiope remarked, "Doesn't sound like much of a population."

"Well, there are a good thirty thousand or more people scattered about the countryside doing farming, herding, fishing and other assorted tasks that require a more labor-intensive existence," Iolaus explained, "Most people actually live inside the walls of a city...it'd be hard enough to feed and clothe them as it is. Those who come to Thebes do so to do business...traders, for example, and those scribes who keep official records for the official government."

"The authority of a King in this part of the world hardly extends for longer than a day's ride by horseback," Maegara further added, Go beyond that point and you're in the land of their neighbors. For example, it is close to two days ride from here to Athens, their principal rival..."

"Don't you mean your rivals, Princess?" Herakles asked.

"Yes...of course," Maegara nodded, "I stand corrected."

"Athens is an Ionian city," Chalciope remarked, "It's the capital of Attica...and isn't it also one of your primary worshipping centers, Sis? Hades...they even named the place after you...nobody ever named a place after me..."

"We did," Antiope corrected, "The Grove of Artemis is a Holy site in Amazonia, where thousands come to worship every year in your honor..."

"Swell," Herakles grunted, "Let's get moving already...we've been on the road over a day now and I just want a chance to sit down with roof over my head...anything to keep dry with all these freak storms that keep cropping up out of no where."

"I am getting a little tired of having to fetch hot water for you, Little Bro," Hermes agreed.

"I'm not," Maegara smiled, "I can always create more hot water for you as needed, and I don't mind watching you change at all. In truth I find your metamorphosis quite...fascinating."

"Terrific," Herakles sniffed, only to hear the giant boar at his side make a sound suspiciously a lot like a snicker, to which he growled and said, "You keep out of this, Porkchops."

"You leave him alone!" Chalciope growled, "I may have agreed to a truce, Little Brother, but I won't have you bulling Eurypylus while I'm around...he's a very sensitive creature..."

"Sensitive?" Herakles hooked a thumb towards the ponderous mountain of pig-flesh lumbering along beside him, "You're saying that after he tried to trample me to death and gore me with those tusks of his?"

"That's right," Chalciope stubbornly shot back, "He's sensitive, he just doesn't like major-league Jerks either!"

"That's enough you two," Iolaus growled, "Save the sparring for the Pankration Matches. Let's just get into town and try to reassure everybody that the Hydra is gone and they don't have to sacrifice Sister Megs here..."

"Not unless they want to see what a taste of real divine wrath is like," Maegara frowned.

"I'd just settle for getting a nice hot meal," Genma complained, and was promptly ignored by all and sundry.  
"Come on," Antiope urged as she picked up her own pace, "I wanna see as much as I can about this place...I've only heard rumors about what goes on this far south and I want to see for myself if it's true that all Southern men have horns and furry legs like Satyrs..."

"You got my vote," Herakles said as he quickened the pace, only to notice a slight hesitation from his most immediate companion, "Problem Sis?"

"I...don't know," Maegara frowned as she glanced back over her shoulder, "It's just...I had this feeling a while ago that we were being followed by someone else...only we appeared to have lost them...I wonder who they were..."

"How unusual," Iolaus scowled, "I was having the same feeling myself a while ago...I wonder what it could mean?"

"Trouble, no question about it," Genma predicted, "When a man is on the rode enjoying his freedom, there's usually a woman somewhere just waiting for the chance to make him miserable, believe me."

"Aw, it ain't that bad," Herakles replied, "But...it's a subject I'd rather debate indoors, know what I mean?"

"Just lead the way, Bro," Iolaus assured, "I'm right behind you."

"You can say that again," Maegara grinned, almost drooling.

"Would you get a clue, Niece?" Chalciope growled, "He's just a man...even if he does have a point about moving things inside."

"You agree, Great Lady?" Antiope asked.

"Chalciope will do," Chalciope corrected, "Yeah...I agree, but don't expect that I'll start to like the guy or anything, especially since he's the one who got me kicked temporarily off of Mount Olympus."

"That's because Dad is just being peevish," Iolaus replied, "And you have tried to kill Brother Herk several times already..."

"In Medusa's name, don't make a national crisis or anything," Chalciope complained, "You make it sound like I tried to do something really awful..."

"Give me strength," Herakles rolled his eyes at that remark but decided not to belabor the issue.

"Let's just head into town, shall we?" Maegara pleaded, then paused as she thought a moment, wondering why she had this strangely persistent sense that there were people following them who did not entirely bode well for her pursuit of the handsome man whom she was intending to make her future husband...

"That's odd," Atalanta remarked, "I thought for sure they took the right hand road instead of the one on the left...and where did that giant swine get off to, Ares?"

"Search me," the red-bearded God of War replied, "Where did my lady love get off to? This is most vexing indeed...I must find her out at once! Oh, my love...my immortal life is empty without you in it!"

"Huh?" Atalanta blinked, "Lady love? Oh yeah...that potion you were gonna use on brother Herk..."

"Potion? What potion?" Ares blinked, "We are talking about my love..."

"Wait a bit here," Atalanta said, "You mean you don't remember even making that potion? You were going to..."

"Don't beset me with you babbling, Woman," Ares insisted, "I must find my dream goddess and beseech her love. Which way did she go, my fleet-footed Warrior Maiden...?"

"You mean Herakles?" Atalanta asked without blinking.

"Herakles?" the change in attitude was striking as Ares snarled and balled his fists, "Is he the one who denies me what I crave? I am Ares, God of War, and I will not be denied my heart's desire! I will seek her out, and if that craven wretch seeks to bar my way I will smite him with my burning wrath!"

"But..." Atalanta started to protest, to no avail as it was plain her fellow divine was not listening to anything but himself at the moment.

"But alas, she is but an Earthbound creatures, and I am one of the true Immortals," Ares sighed, "Which means I must become as she is...an Immortal in the body of a mortal...incarnation is a sacrifice of self, but in the name of Love I will manage it, and come back to seek her out! Then she will know that my commitment is true and I shall sweep her into my arms and carry her aloft back to Mount Olympus."

"Assuming she doesn't send you there herself COD, catapulted," Atalanta remarked, but she was merely talking to herself out loud, and before she knew it the God of War had vanished from the spot, doubtlessly to seek out a new host in which to incarnate, which meant that she would be seeing him again, albeit in a whole new body.

"Incredible," she said aloud, "He's even more pompous than when we were married-  
-WHAT AM I SAYING?" Atalanta reacted with a start, "Who was that, and what's he got to do with me? What was I thinking just now? It was almost like...I was remembering another life, or..."

"...Is it much farther into town?"

"Just another couple of leagues, handsome, we'll be there within an hour."

"Huh?" Atalanta turned to see a very odd pair coming up the way, one a very tall and powerfully built human, the other a four footed creature whose upper body was that of a human woman, but whose lower body was entirely that of a Lioness, brown furred and dusky complexioned as the people in the far off lands to the south were said to be. Both figures were apparently strangers, and yet there was a curious bond between them that went beyond the question of mere species.

"Good," the tall man said, "It's been a long time since I last saw my twin brother, but he should be easy to recognize. Last I saw him he was wearing the skin of a lion..."

"Ooh," the Cat-lady winced, "Now that sounds nasty! What is he, some kind of big game hunter or something?"

"Naw, he's just a jerk who didn't keep his promise to meet me for a Man-to-Man fight," the brown haired man replied, "He was traveling with our Uncle Genma, who's a Satyr..."

"A Satyr?" the cat-lady winced, "What are you doing with one of those horny little buggers, Big Stuff?"

"Call me Ithicles," the man said, "And that Satyr is our personal fight trainer..."

"Herakles?" Atalanta misheard the man's name and belatedly recognized his outline from a poorly remembered encounter. At all once she drew her two-handed War-Hammer from its shoulder harness and she snarled, "DIE!"

"Huh?" Ithicles looked up to see her just in time to recognize the threat, and then he instinctively dodged the blonde madwoman who was attempting to bash his head in, letting her step by as he readied himself for battle.

"Who the heck is that?" Cleo the Sphinx asked as she saw a complete stranger attach the man whom she had so recently formed a bond with, and almost without thinking about it she flicked out her tail and tripped the girl up, sending her sprawling into the dirt even as Cleo turned to Ithicles and asked, "Old girlfriend?"

"Never saw her before in my life," Ithicles frowned, "I think she said...Herakles...maybe she knows my brother."

"Oh," Cleo seemed willing enough to accept that at face value, having already determined that the man was too simple and honest to even try deceiving her (and it was an inherent part of her nature that she could tell when someone was lying), "In that case, do I get to eat her?"

"No," Ithicles replied in a slightly shocked tone of voice, "She might have a legitimate beef with my brother."

"Your call," Cleo shrugged, "But you're probably right, and she looks like she'd be a little tuff to chew and swallow anyway...too beefy. Besides, I like 'em a little less stringy..."

"YOU BASTARD!" Atalanta growled as she got back to her feet with her hammer at the ready, "I've been looking all over you for ten whole years, and now I'll have my revenge!"

"Ten years?" Ithicles scratched his head, "That was when Uncle Genma was out on the road with brother and me...but I don't remember meeting any girls who look like you, Miss..."

"Are you saying you've forgotten me?" Atalanta bridled, "I'm the one you betrayed, Atalanta, remember?"

"Atalanta?" Ithicles blinked, "Wait a minute...I remember a boy by that name-  
HEY!" he dodged another attack, even as Atalanta whirled about and made another pass with her hammer, delivering a powerful swing that could shattered a boulder in passing...

"HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Aphrodite cried as she watched her host go wild in attacking the man before them, "HE'S NOT YOUR ENEMY, YOU DUMMY! WHAT ARE YOU ATTACKING HIM FOR, HAVE YOU GONE CRAZY?"

As if hearing a voice echo in her mind she heard her host say aloud, "My father engaged me to a fool like you, but you ran away and deserted me-you ruined my life! Because of you I can never be a true woman ever!"

"Oh, for the Love of Eros," Aphrodite grumbled, rolling up her metaphysical sleeve, "That's it, I'm taking over the reins now, Sister, until you cool off and learn to behave yourself..."

Ithicles sensed the girl attacking him was breaking off her assault, pulling back before doing him any real damage, as though waging an internal struggle, a matter rendered academic when Cleo pounced on her from behind and bore her to the ground like a felled deer.

"No way, Sister! This Boy belongs to me, and I won't have you rearranging his features while I'm around, got it?" the Sphinx hissed into her ear as Atalanta's rage was suddenly tempered by the love goddess.

"Don't hurt her," Ithicles urged, "I think she's got a point...I mean...I remember an Atalanta who Herakles and I used to wrestle with, but...I didn't think he was a girl...maybe he's under some kind of an enchantment?"

"Huh?" the blonde suddenly ceased struggling and looked up, "W-Wait...you're saying that you're NOT Herakles? But..."

"Don't you remember me?" he said, "I'm Ithicles, the older twin. It's been ten years, I know, but..."

"Ithicles?" Atalanta blinked, "It-it's really you? But...?"

"Y'know," Cleo remarked, "I'm touched with this being a tearful reunion and all, but I'm gonna have to ask you nicely to leave my Human alone, or else I'm gonna eat you, stringy meat or no. Now will you play nice or do I have to get nasty?"

The blonde only frowned then said, "You and what phalanx?"

And with that she pushed against the ground, surprising the Sphinx as she ignored the weight upon her back and managed to support both of them with a single pushup. Cleo looked startled as she was overbalanced, but then Atalanta rolled out from under her and straightened up, hammer in hand and ready to make a point of it.

"Hold on!" Ithicles urged, "There's no need to fight, okay? It's my brother you're after, Atalanta...but...what happened to you? When did you turn into a girl?"

"I've always been a girl, stupid!" Atalanta replied, "You mean you never guessed?"

"Ah...well..." Ithicles scratched his head, "You were a lot...thinner back then, and you didn't exactly dress up like a girl...and, come to think of it, you didn't stand out in the chest as much...not too bad either, though Cleo's are bigger..."

"What?" Atalanta glanced down at her breasts, which were partially exposed beneath her leather outfit, then she turned to Cleo, whose bounteous (and gravity-defying) breasts were open for all to see and saw the Cat-girl look back at her smugly.

"Face it, Sister," Cleo proudly thrust out her chest, "Mine stand out, and nobody's gonna mistake them for pectorals..."

"Why you...!" Atalanta (and Aphrodite within her) bristled.

"Atalanta, what are you doing out here?" Ithicles asked, "I thought you were back in Corinth..."

"I left Corinth and came here looking for Herakles," Atalanta declared, "And instead I found you, now...where is he?"

"We don't know," Cleo replied, "Good looking here is also after his brother. Wanna tag along? We're heading into Thebes..."

"Into Thebes?" Atalanta blinked, "With you? Uh...I mean...no offence, but...aren't you some kind of a monster or something..."

"Monster is such a loaded and prejudicial term," Cleo smiled, "I'd prefer if you used Non-Homocentric Life Form instead...or just called me Cleo. But your point is well taken...I might frighten a few poor souls if they saw me walking into their town like this...after all, I was terrorizing the countryside up until about an hour or two ago...so..."

All at once she straightened out, righted herself on two legs as her form began to shrink down to more human proportions, even as her wings folded into her back and disappeared completely, leaving her to shimmer slightly as a type of clothing formed about her body...a skirt about her hips extending to just below her knees while a nearly transparent shirt partially covered her pendulous globe-like breasts. A moment later her fur also vanished, leaving a nut-brown, tawny complexion of bare skin in her wake, bare footed and yet oddly regal in bearing, complete with a tiara that encircled her head, her hair forming a neatly trimmed mane-like black shoulder-length cut.

"Whoah!" Ithicles said as he looked her up and down, from well-tapered bare feet to willowy waist and nicely curving legs, then all of the other attractive features on the top half.

Atalanta just stared with rounded eyes and said, "W-what are you?"

"Like I said...call me Cleo," she purred softly, her diamond-slit eyes alone remaining the only giveaway to her feline nature, "I'm a Sphinx...we're somewhat rare down south in the land of Stygian Egypt. I was a priestess many years ago before I became a servant of the Lion Goddess, Sekhmet..."

"You didn't tell me you could do that," Ithicles murmured in dull wonder.

"You didn't ask, Handsome," she wiggled her hips and struck a seductive pose, like what you see?"

Wordlessly he just nodded.

(So did Aphrodite, whose tongue lolled out within the mind of Atalanta, who also suffered a curious reaction, though she checked that impulse and wondered just when in the name of Artemis she had gotten to be so...perverted?)

"Well, shall we go?" Cleo purred, then noted the mutually stunned expressions of her companions and added, "Do I take that for a yes? Swell...then we're off to see the Wizard..."

"What Wizard?" Ithicles wondered.

"Just an expression," Cleo said as she took him by one arm and the blonde by the other then steered them in the direction of Thebes, musing all the while, "Maybe I'll even get lucky and the three of us can do a threesome."

"Hah?" Atalanta asked, only to hear a voice whisper in her head, (Don't worry...I'll explain all about it to you...later...)

With that ominous thought in mind, Atalanta staggered along, allowing herself to be drawn along to her ultimate destination and the meeting she had craved with the one she believed had long ago wronged her, but who also happened to be her unsuspecting fianc ...

"Okay, so we're here," Herakles said as he inspected the twenty-foot high walls at the front gates of Thebes, judging them to be of questionable manufacture, "So, what happens next?"

"First we pay our respect at the Gate shrine here," Iolaus explained, indicating a small shrine that stood opposite to the gate house, just beyond the gates through which their odd party was proceeding, "That way we assured these people that we respect the Gods and don't intend to bring any trouble..."

"Are you sure it's going to be that easy?" Antiope pointed at the giant pig, "With him beside us?"

"Hey," Chalciope protested, "Eurypylus knows how to behave himself around people. After all, my host trained him from when he was just a little piglet..."

"That must have been some piglet," Maegara remarked, "Now, if only someone here recognizes my own host body..."

"Princess Maegara?" one of the guards abruptly said on cue, "But-But how? Are you a ghost?"

"Your highness," a second guard acknowledged her solidity by bowing, "No offense...but we saw you left out for the Hydra...but...how...?"

"Are the Gods punishing us yet again?" complained a third guard, "That would be the third time this week...I mean, not to complain or anything...but there ought to be a limit..."

"It's a long story, Boys," Maegara replied with a sigh, "Can you take me to see my father?"

"But...Princess...?" a forth guard declared, indicating the giant Boar trotting beside her like an oversized puppy, "What of the swine?"

"Well, he's kind of ragged and smelly, but I guess he's housebroken," Chalciope replied, but she was looking at Herakles and not her host's pet.

"Cute," Herakles snorted, "Care to handle that one, Uncle?"

"Who, me?" Genma replied, trying to act nonchalant while attempting to filch a passing traveler's belt-pouch.

"And who are these...people?" a guard looking more like an officer inquired with a disapproving expression.

Maegara took this as a cue and put her arm around the brawny forearm of Herakles, smiling as she answered, "This is the man who rescued me from the Hydra, his name is Herakles, son of Zeus and a major league hero."

"A son of Zeus?" the officer asked dubiously, "Prove it."

"Why does everybody ask that?" Herakles sighed, urging the red haired girl at his side to let go of his arm as he walked right past the captain an sized up a wagon that had gotten stalled when one wheel slipped its tracks, the owner complaining loudly about getting his bales of hay in to market. With one hand he reached down and picked up the cart by the frame, heaving it over his head, driver and all, with oxen complaining as they dangled from their yokes, legs kicking in the air, the whole mass suspended in the air with only Herakles standing between them and a rude landing.

"Where do you want it?" Herakles asked of the driver.

"Impressed?" Iolaus asked as the four guards stood with mouths hanging open.

"I'll take that for a yes," Maegara smiled, turning with a seductive smile to the officer as she added, "Take us to your leader..."

Oedipus was soaking his feet at a public bathhouse when news of the saving of Princess Maegara began to make public circulation. He was weary from his travels, foot sore and feeling out of sorts about the whole close encounter with the Sphinx thing, and he wanted nothing so much as to find food and lodgings for the night, provided that there was anywhere about that would accept Corinthian currencies, by no means a certainty as these people were probably still living by the old Barter system. Ah, to be in true "civilization..."

"Hey, did you hear the news?" some fellow said as he came into the bathhouse with towel slung over his shoulder (and nothing else on besides this), "They say someone killed the Hydra and rescued Princess Maegara!"

"What? Are you serious?" another patron of the establishment asking in astonishment, "The Hydra?"

"But I thought the Princess was to be sacrificed to appease the wrath of Hera," yet another patron pointed out.

"Yes, but they say a hero by the name of 'Hera's Wrath' saved the Princess and defeated the Hydra...and get this...he's captured a mammoth boar from Erymantha, as big as a house and as foul tempered as a Centaur!"

"Where did you hear that? Some travel gossip, or were you toasting one too many to Dionysus?"

"I'm serious, I really saw it with my own eyes! I'm not besotted, sunstruck or drunk, I actually saw the man who did this...and he's virtual giant! Five cubits if he's a yard!"

"Now I know you're drunk...five cubits did you say?"

"And what's more, he wasn't alone...he had a satyr with him and several Amazons, or so they looked like it to me..."

"What is this, a procession or a circus? Amazons this far south? Are you mad?"

"No, it's true, I heard the rumor myself when I was on my way here...it seems that there is a new hero on the block, and this one is strong enough to lift an entire ox-drawn wagon with one hand! I know it's incredible, but it seems that this man is the son of Zeus himself, or so the Princess herself proclaimed to the Lieutenant at the gates..."

"The Princess, sweetness and light that she is, wouldn't know a true god from a pretender if her life depended on it..."

"Actually, it did."

"Oh right...forget I said that..."

"You know...if this hero is as powerful as you say, then he might well be the answer to ridding us of that damned Sphinx who's been terrorizing the country with her gods-blasted riddles!"

"Oh," Oedipus remarked, not meaning to say anything but finding the drift of this conversation very interesting, at least from his standing.

"What was that, stranger?" the man nearest to him turned to ask.

"Um...well..." Oedipus replied lamely (no pun intended), "If it's the Sphinx that I met on the way here who's been annoying you so much, then you don't have anything to worry about. I saw her vanish into a chasm and..."

All at once he suddenly realized that he had become the new center of attention, five men looking at him with mutually astonished expressions.

"You killed the Sphinx?" the one who had addressed Oedipus before asked with a dumbfounded expression.

"Er...well, actually..." Oedipus started to explain.

"You can't have defeated the Sphinx...not without solving the riddle!" the more skeptical man in their group stated flatly.

"Er...would that be the riddle about what goes on four legs in the morning, two by day and three by evening?" Oedipus asked them.

"That's the one," another man nodded.

"Oh well...the answer is a Man," Oedipus said matter-of-factly.

"A man?" another asked after a suitable pause lasting just under a minute.

"Yes," Oedipus replied, "A man crawls on four legs when he is a baby, walks on two legs when he is grown up and when he become old will tend to lean on a staff...which isn't a bad idea, now that I think about it..."

"All in one day?" another patron asked.

"Doesn't sound like anybody I know," said another man who was scratching his head in confusion.

"Er...actually, it's a Metaphor," Oedipus replied, looking for some gleam of intelligence in the otherwise dull eyes of his fellow bathers.

"Oh, one of those, huh?" the skeptical man softly mused.

"What's a metaphor?" another asked.

"Some kind of moth, I think..."

"That's a myth."

"Yeah, that too..."

"Never mind all that," declared the man who had come in with the "good news" about the Hydra, "Do you realize what this means, Stranger? It means that you're a hero, that you've freed us of the tyranny of that man-eating Were-  
bitch! You deserve acclaim, and you're entitled to the reward being offered at the palace!"

"Well, that's not actually necessary...did you say reward?" Oedipus blinked.

"Sure," the Skeptic nodded, "Ten thousand dinari and the hand of some noblewoman or other...I think there may even be a crown involved...Creon's made it pretty plain that he's not happy with leaving the army and getting a job as a civil servant..."

"Er...ah...you don't say?" Oedipus was slightly flustered as he received this news. They actually gave a crown to the hero who defeated a local monster? Aloud he said, "But your King..."

"Oh, we overthrew our last Tyrant," a man remarked, "Electryon was getting to be a real pain to have around, so we the people of Thebes convinced General Creon to become our new Tyrant."

"Only thing is that Creon doesn't feel that he's up to the job, so he wants to give it to someone who can do something pretty heroic," another explained, "Personally, I think he'd rather go to his villa and tend a farm instead of getting mixed up in politics..."

"You don't say?" Oedipus wondered just what sort of a man would refuse the job of becoming a King...after all, it was a position that many would have killed to take over (and many usually did, chalking such things up as "natural causes").

"We have to spread word of this! Creon must know that the menaces of the Sphinx is at long last finally over!"

"Two heroes in our city, and on the same day no less! It must be the gods telling us that we are forgiven our many trespasses against the Heavenly Queen, Hera!"

"We must take you to the Palace at once for your great deed to be acknowledged, hero!"

"Er, well, that's very kind of you, but..." Oedipus started to explain when he found himself being yanked out of the hot springs and dragged over to the lockers by the more enthusiastic of his newfound "friends," and before he could manage to explain anything more he was on his way up in the world, towards a fate that would prove that the Fates were somewhat horrible jesters...

"Here it is, the Palace of Thebes," Iolaus remarked as they arrived at the walled upper end of the mud-and-daub hutted city, "Home sweet home to you, Sis."

"Ugh, don't remind me," Maegara wrinkled her nose as she took in the rather weak looking structure, "No wonder the turnover rate for Kings is so high around here...that doesn't look like it would keep out a rampaging mob, let alone an invading army..."

"No kidding," Herakles eyed the rather unimpressive looking structure, reckoning it as a testament to the perils of low-contract bidding in the construction industry, "The place is even more of a dump than the city...and I was actually born here?"

"That's right, Boy," Genma affirmed, "Good thing it was built so badly or your mother, brother and I would never have been able to smuggle you out of there in all that confusion."

"Some palace," Chalciope sniffed, "Eurypylus could knock the place over just by blowing on it, isn't that right, my precious Baby?"

The massive pig just blew a snort of agreement over that, even he seemed to think the place was not worthy of being called a pig-sty.

"Well, no sense waiting around out here for the place to be condemned," Antiope reasoned, "We might as well go in there and meet your new family, Princess."

"Might as well," Maegara sighed, "But I can't help wondering when the last time was that they had this place aired out..."

"I've seen worse, believe me," Iolaus remarked as they allowed the guards to announce them at the gates, then were ushered into an utterly unimpressive courtyard that was part reception-chamber, part audience room, part clearing house, showing just how utilitarian these Thebans could be.

After a brief pause during which the small group visually inspected the place (and uniformly concluded that it had seen better days in some previous age), the King and Queen came out to greet them in person, the former enthusiastically, the latter giving a very sour look towards the reputed "Champion" of the hour.

"I don't believe it," Chalciope murmured, "Do you recognize who that is, Sis?"

"Hera?" Maegara whispered, clearly reading the Queen's aura, "What's she doing here?"

"Obviously nothing good," Genma replied in what proved to be one of his rare moments of insight.

"Ah, my good man!" Creon himself came out with a broad smile towards Herakles, looking him up and down just to make certain he was not hallucinating at the size of the fellow, "So...you're a son of Zeus? How extraordinary...I was always inclined to believe that it was an old wives tale, told by old wives trying to impress their husbands who've been away at the wars, that bit about the Thunder God sleeping around with various mortals..."

"If only," Queen Jocasta sniffed with a particularly unpleasant expression.

"Daddy," Maegara said smoothly, "This is the man who rescued me and defeated the Hydra."

"My darling child!" Creon proved an enthusiastic father as he hugged the redheaded Princess to his breast (much to her surprise and mild dismay), "How I regret having fed you to the Hydra...oh, the shame of it all, that I should have sacrificed my only daughter to that monster! How can you ever forgive this foolish father for doing what the Gods bid him to do when death itself would have been preferred? You must hate me for my cowardice..."

"Um...it's all right, Dad," Maegara's words were slightly muffled by the King's tunic, "Could I...um...have a little fresh air here?"

"Oh, sorry about that," the man backed away but still held her by the shoulders in both hands, "You make your father very proud the way you've handled things, my child...but now that you are safe, we must find some way of rewarding your rescuer...er...um...excuse me for asking...but...isn't that a rather large pig you have there?"

"Yeah, he is," Chalciope agreed, "But I try and pretend we're not related."

"Just keep it up, Sis," Herakles grumbled, "You're not too big for a royal spanking."

"Yes, but she'd probably like that," Iolaus remarked, earning a withering look from Chalciope.

"And...is that a Satyr trying to pocket our silverware?" Creon took notice of the purple furred creature that was the goat-hoofed Genma.

"Er..." Genma turned around and put the silver plate back on the table with a lame, "Just looking."

Jocasta smiled as she considered the situation, eyeing the man whom she had chosen to use as an assassin for removing her annoying pest of a Stepson. The man was armed with a blowdart tipped with a powerful drug that would induce momentary insanity and rage in whomever it struck. She had but to give a nod and the fellow would let fly his poisoned dart, and then she would stand back and watch the fun as her overly muscled nemesis went berserk and destroyed Creon's palace, hopefully doing in Creon in the process.

Let Zeus chew on that one back on Olympus, she mused darkly, his precious son going down in infamy as a King-slayer.

"Er...it's a long story, Daddy," Maegara replied to her somewhat befuddled parent, "It's just that these are my...friends...and this, my savior, is the man I intend to marry!"

"Marry you say?" Creon sized Herakles up, "Well...he certainly does seem like a rather impressive fellow...and he has a good pedigree, rather the best around and..."

"AND STOP RIGHT THERE!" a new voice bellowed out.

"Eh?" Iolaus blinked as he turned around to see the splitting image of Herakles standing in the doorway.

"The Boy?" Genma said in equal parts surprise and dismay.

"Who is that?" Antiope asked with a speculative expression.

"And who is that beside him?" Chalciope suddenly asked as she spotted a pair of statuesque beauties beside the towering stranger.

"Hey," said one of the two lookers flanking Ithicles, "Get a load of those Pork Chops..."

For some reason the giant boar, Eurypylus, made a faint "BWEE" noise and skittered around behind Chalciope.

"Two of them?" Jocasta asked with a somewhat baffled expression of her own, looking from one burly man to the other.

"Ithicles?" Herakles turned about in surprise, "What are you doing here, Bro?"

"I might ask you the same thing, Brother," Ithicles replied in a most unfriendly tone of voice, "It's been three years, nine months and twenty-seven days since you broke your word to meet me in a man-to-man duel...now what have you got to say for yourself?"

"Duel?" Herakles blinked, "Wait a candlewick...you mean that match we were gonna have? The one you never showed up for?"

All at once the six foot tall blonde beside the seven-plus foot tall Ithicles stepped forward, unslinging her hammer, "Herakles...at last...it's ten years since we last met...remember me?"

"Er...no," Herakles blinked, "I don't believe we have..."

"Who are all these people?" Creon asked, now thoroughly bewildered.

"I'll let you know as soon as I get a score card myself, Daddy," Maegara turned to confront the blond, "Is that you, Aphi? A little Butch for your tastes, don't you think?"

"You keep out of this," Atalanta snarled, "It's between me and my so-called fianc !"

"FIANCE?" Herakles blanched, turning a bewildered look to the side, "Uncle Genma...you wouldn't happen to know anything about this, would you?"

"Um...not a bit," Genma replied in tones that were utterly unreassuring.

"Come on, you must remember me!" Atalanta said impatiently, "I'm Atalanta, remember?"

Herakles blinked, "Atalanta? But...but you're a girl!"

"So we've noticed," Iolaus said dryly.

"Would somebody please tell me what is going on here?" Creon demanded.

"It's like this, Creon-baby," the Sphinx remarked as she leaned against his shoulder, "Handsome there is my new Boy-Toy, and the stud who looks a lot like him is his half-brother, while...I don't really know too much about the rest of these people, but I'm sure we'll all work it out in good time..."

"And just who are you?" Jocasta asked with a sourly disapproving expression.

"Oh, my name's Cleo," she paused to sniff, "Well now...you're sure more than you look like, not that there's anything wrong with the way you look, you tasty little morsel..."

Ithicles stormed up to face Herakles in an eye-to-eye session, then said, "Now we're going to finally have it out between us to prove once and for all which of us is the rightful heir to the Anything Goes Tradition! Just because my father was a General and yours was a God is no reason why I shouldn't be the heir...after all, I'm your elder..."

"By about a half a candleflick," Herakles responded, "And what do you mean by saying that I'm the one who broke the agreement? I waited five days for you to show up for our match..."

"Five...days?" Maegara blinked her eyes.

"Oh sure, you waited five days," Ithicles sniffed, "But on the sixth day, when I arrived, you were no where to be found, Brother! Do you have any idea what all I've had to go through in order to find you?"

"And on the seventh day he rested," Iolaus sighed, "Look, Kinsman...this hardly seems the time or the place for us to be settling this..."

"Wrong," Ithicles declared, "This is the time and this is the place, and we'll settle it here or I'm going to proclaim you a coward, Little Brother."

"Little brother he says," Chalciope sniffed, "Some little."

"And to think they're both a couple of incredible studs!" Antiope gushed, "If this is gonna be a he-cat fight, then I wanna watch!"

"Hey, have you two forgotten about me already?" Atalanta growled angrily, "Wait your turn, I want to bash his skull in first!"

Jocasta slowly recovered her wicked smile...this was even better than she had planned for! If Herakles went berserk now he could not only bring down the palace but possibly even kill his own brother bare-handed, to say nothing of how many other innocents, and wouldn't that make a lovely set of grievances to present before Zeus with the demand that he be punished. Why, if the blood of kinfolk was on his hands, she could well enlist the aid of the Furies...and all she had to do was give a nod to her agent to let fly with the poisoned dart, which she did with a meaningful nod in his direction.

Said agent, who had been waiting off to the side for just such a cue, took his long blowing tube in hand with dart already loaded and sized up his target...only to hesitate for a fraction, unsure which man was the one who was supposed to be darted. Deciding not to hesitate, he picked a target and let blow, and with a slight hiss the drugged barb went sailing towards it target...

...Even as Chalciope caught the motion and belatedly cried, "Watch out!"

Ithicles winced as something went painfully into a bare shoulder, like a wasp sting, just barely penetrating his thick hide, but he was too worked up in a lather to pay it much heed, even as the irritant worked its way into his system.

"Did you just try to warn somebody, Sis?" Iolaus asked of a somewhat chagrinned Chalciope.

"Er...ah..." the Avatar of Artemis blinked, "It was...reflex..."

"Good reflex," Antiope noted, "Maybe next time act a little faster to prevent it?"

All at once Ithicles's expression grew wilder, and in the middle of his tirade against Herakles, insisting he had pre-eminent right to go first over Atalanta, a wild look came over his expression and he suddenly went, "AAARRRGGGH!" and launched himself at his half-brother.

"Handsome?" Cleo blinked in dismay, "What...?"

Herakles suddenly found his brother's hands going around his throat, and automatically he broke the hold and sent Ithicles flying backward with a palm-  
strike to the forehead.

"HANDSOME!" Cleo left Creon's side and started metamorphosing, going beyond her normal Sphinx form and turning her body into that of a huge brown lioness.

Unfortunately Herakles turned his head at the sound of her voice, just in time to catch the sight of half-naked woman becoming giant cat, which at once triggered the fear buried deep within his mind as he backed away and gasped, "L-  
l-l-l-LIONESS!"

Continued.

Comments/Criticisms/Cat-Phobias Anonymous: shadowmane

All heck breaks loose next time as a crazed Ithicles and a fear-maddened Herakles have it out in the Palace of Thebes, but will anyone survive when the fur really starts flying, or will the collateral damage be enough to bring a quick end to our Hero's legendary journeys? Be with us next time for: "The Lion Fist Untamed," or "For Sale, One Palace, Slightly Used!" Be there!

X -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

If you wish to check out my other works, Please check out my Fanfiction webpage at: . All related chapters of this series can be found there along with my other works. 


	9. Chapter 9

Hercules 9

Hercules 1/2

"GENMA SAOTOME'S TIME AND SPACE MISADVENTURES!"

by Jim Robert Bader

(Inspired by the works of Rumiko Takahashi &amp;  
the playwright Euripides, who in no way should take the blame for this mildly "twisted" version,  
and that's no Bullfinch!)

Chapter Nine.

Bringing Down the Palace!

Hippolyta's views on sexual politics were formed at an early age when she was just a wee Lesser Goddess, the illegitimate child of Aphrodite and the War-God, Ares. Of course at the time of her birth there was no hint or suspicions of the troubles that would follow when her mother's infidelity was discovered, and so she had a fairly happy childhood growing up on Mount Olympus as the patron of Battlefield Strategy and Tactics, a job she more-or-less grew into despite the professed desires of her then-parents that she should become a Healer goddess, like her cousin, Astra, or even Asclepius himself. Even her big brother, Eros (or Cupid, as he later preferred to be called), though it was an odd line of work to fall into, more reminiscent of her Aunt Athena rather than a "proper" child born to the Love Goddess, Aphrodite.

Of course back then it had been her much-loved "Uncle Ares" who had been the primary role model in her life, the doting role model who had given her the first sword that she ever had to play with, as well as her first helmet, grieves and buckler-shield, to say nothing of those long hours that he used to play with her when her mother was otherwise "busy" (which was alarmingly frequent in those days). Uncle Ares had smiled for her as he would smile for no one else and he was so dashing, handsome and gallant in those days, such a heroic figure out of legend for the part he had played in the revolution that overthrew the Titans, which had earned him his title as "War God," to say nothing of being the oldest child of Zeus and Hera.

Her doting "Uncle" had told her bloodcurdling stories about battles and wars, of men standing firm against impossible odds, dying in slaughter and being mourned as great heroes. It was all perfect fluff for a young and impressionable girl in those days, and she had hung on every word of his bedtime stories, relishing in his lurid descriptions of all the violence and looking forward to the day when she would be old enough to wade shield first into battle.

Imagine her surprise, many, many years later, when it came to light that her beloved "Uncle" was in reality her biological father...and how much she had been ignorant of the goings-on of her elders. Hippolyta had watched her childhood innocence fall away as an adult woman confronted by the scorn and ridicule of being born outside of wedlock. The realization that her parents had-in effect-betrayed her, and that her trust had been for nothing, along with the added discovery that the man she had called her "father" was in fact her much-  
maligned Uncle...all of this caused a very rude schism to form between herself and her elders, one that did not heal for many long decades. Even when her true father had married her mother and "legitimized" their union, Hippolyta had not been able to clean the foul taste of their infidelity out of her mouth, not even when they gave her younger sisters to play with, first as doting elder, then as later "role model."

The moment when her life had changed was the day when she got bored with life on Olympus and chose to travel to Earth in order to do some carousing with the mortals. At first she and her sisters had formed a kind of close-knit "Warband" and had some adventures among the short-lived men and women who treated the Gods with fear, awe and reverence (and no small amount of dread). But after a while it had started to dawn upon Hippolyta and her fellow "Amazons" (the term then had been used in scorn, but later was adopted with pride as the collective name of the Scythians tribes whom they had adopted) that the mortal women of the world were not the equals to the men whom they encountered. If anything women lived in virtual serfdom throughout most of the Ionian and Dorian-inhabited regions, while in the Aeolian hills to the north there remained some memory of a time when women were far more highly revered and held a status that was nearly equal. This led, in turn, to a dramatic encounter with the Earth Mother, Gaea herself, who had explained-or rather "revealed"-the mysteries of women had surrendered their status to men and had forgotten the ancient kinship that they once had shared with the Goddess. A covenant was formed on that day, and the Renunciate philosophy was born of this moment of shared wisdom.

Next she had confronted her father with her observations of the inequality of men and women, and to her dismay, Ares had voiced scathing contempt for the very idea of men and women living together as equals. He could accept a woman as a warrior so long as she "minded her place" and agreed to give up her arms in favor of becoming a wife and mistress when she married a strong husband, but the idea of women taking the place of men in Council was "ludicrous" to his understanding. He could allow that Hippolyta had a "fine talent for war," but a Warrior Princess was hardly a King's equal. Goddesses were not bound by the same rules as mortals anyway, and so he had indulged his daughter's "penchant for violence" as might any proud father, seeing a reflection of himself in the image of his own daughter.

This was, to put it mildly, a frankly appalling admission in Hippolyta's eyes, and it caused her to totally reevaluate the God whom she had looked up to for so long. She then dared the unthinkable and questioned her father's wisdom, saying that a Woman could be more than equal to the task of leading armies, that a woman could even be SUPERIOR to a man if given the right sort of training.

Ares had scoffed at this, so Hippolyta had challenged her father to a wager, and from that event was born the Amazon Nation. All it had taken was a little time to scry the Earth until she had found the right sort of female candidates who were ripe for conversion to the Renunciate lifestyle, then she and her sisters had merged with chosen Avatars to become the Queens that they were today. All through this her mother had been somewhat confused-but-supportive, not really understanding the drives that had made her daughters turn against her own peace-  
loving ways by forsaking "The Underside of the Bed" in order to dominate men and prove themselves their masters. Hippolyta did try to honor her mother in some ways, but she was too fierce at heart to play the role of the peacemaker. Instead she made allowances for Sex and Procreation that allowed her Renunciates to enjoy the celebration of life without having to be bound by the commitment to marry.

Of course Grandfather Zeus had been less than thrilled about this whole matter, and Hera herself was downright apoplectic about the idea of women renouncing formal Marriage altogether, so some allowances had to be made to appease these most Supreme of Gods, much though it undercut a key point of the Renunciate lifestyle. Having to allow that a man strong enough to defeat an Amazon was worthy of becoming her husband did cut somewhat into their action, but...it had proven to be a good thing on the whole, bringing in fresh blood to prevent their gene pools from stagnating. A strong man should naturally father strong offspring, and if he were to be "domesticated," why then an Amazon might count herself a lucky woman indeed, having her own "Brood Stallion" to ride most every evening. Not all men were happy with this arrangement, of course, and often a man proved to be a little "too strong" to be contained within Amazon borders, and sometimes the Amazon would be compelled to join her husband in self-imposed exile, going off to live in foreign lands while promoting their ways and teachings in a less "confrontational" manner.

Sometimes, however, that tendency came back to bite them where it hurt, as in the case of Bellerophon, son of Eurymede, who had taken the lessons of his mother to heart and had grown up to become the scourge of the Amazons during their great Southerly invasion. Then too there were tribes of men who lived along their borders who hated the Amazons with great fervor and counted it as nothing to slaughter one who strayed too far past their borders...a good thing those tribes tended to be so aggressive and disunited that they never could present an actual threat to the Amazons themselves. And then there were the Centaurs, their sometimes-rude neighbors...

Hippolyta broke off on her silent reverie as she saw a group of people hailing her with salutations and greetings, and she smiled as she waved her war-lance back towards these farmers, who were a key backbone to the Amazon culture...landholders who lived under the protection of the Amazons, whose ancestors had been conquered many centuries ago and brought under the tutelage of the Renunciate way. They were not true Amazons but constituted a large "underclass" of peasant "Freemen," living in small village communities that dotted along the Thracian border, this far north of the Sea of Propontis.

These people etched out a rude, hard live out of the soil, yielding just enough food to feed their young while "tithing" a quarter of each harvest to the Amazons in exchange for Renunciate protection. Sometimes their harvests would fall short and instead they would offer their stronger daughters to be raised by the Renunciates through matronage, and in time-if their daughters lived to become Amazons themselves-they would receive some of the spoils that their daughters would victoriously bring home from periodic raids along the south. It was considered a great honor to have an Amazon in the family, and it was from such tribes as these that many "husbands" were taken, if only for a season. If a man was sturdy, good looking and had a clean set of teeth he might be visited by more than one Amazon in a season, and thus himself become the father to many Amazons of the next generation. Hippolyta had always liked these people, who were basically hard working and honest, if much too peace-loving to be counted on as more than "Auxiliaries" should the Amazons be forced to constrict them to repel an invasion.

If an Amazon chose to retire from active service she could well become the Protector to such a tribal group as this and be honored by these craftsmen and farmers with a relatively comfortable existence. Sometimes Hippolyta herself wondered what it would be like to just settle down and become such an honored village Matron, but her Immortality denied her the excuse of infirmity. She was much too active a woman to settle down anyway, even if the thought of shedding her heavy duties as Queen did sometimes become enormously tempting.

Hippolyta set her mind back to the open "Queen's Road," already plotting out the route she might take to get her safely past the borders of their enemy "Tribal States," those that lived in open alliance with the Thracian Confederacy, Ionians who were allied with the far-distant Phrygians to the south of the Sea of Propontis. It was a long way to Boetia, well due south of the Chalcidice lands east of Macedonia, past a dozen Aeolian and Ionian city-states until she would reach the lands just north of Attica, where she hoped to find her wayward "Husband." At a steady pace she might get there within a fortnight, provided her horse could stand up to the stress of long travel. Hippolyta had outlived a hundred War-Mares who were ancestors to the one she was now riding, and she knew the limits of the animal who faithfully carried her due southward. She did not want to press the animal too far, even if she herself could easily endure a far more wicked pace than any horse, no matter how noble its lineage.

Ah, but to have a winged Pegasus, like Bellerophon himself, she irreverently mused, thinking of her long-departed enemy, who had been a worthy opponent, albeit one who "had gotten a bit above his britches..."

Just then a curious stirring along her nape hairs caused Hippolyta to stiffen, and then she slowed her War-Mare down to a mild trot and waited until she reached a crossroads just ahead of her, knowing even before she got there whom she would find waiting to meet her.

"Hail, Noble Queen," the Goddess spoke to her as Hecate stepped out from the shadows, "Well met indeed."

"And yourself, Goddess," Hippolyta replied, "To what do I owe an audience this time?"

"I see that you are taking the long route in order to get to Greece," Hecate remarked, her night-dark hair glistening with stars as her ageless smile took in the Renunciate ex-Goddess, "That could take quite a while and leave you open to assault by many an enemy. You may be Immortal, but you are hardly invulnerable, and more than a few people out here would count your head as quite a trophy."

"Let them try to take it," Hippolyta smiled back, "Many have before, and I've tromped on the graves of every one of them, including their greatest."

"Spoken like a true Daughter of Ares," Hecate approved, "However...I have come to tell you that there has been a disturbing development in the quest of the Labors concerning your husband."

Hippolyta sat up more alertly in the saddle, "What say you, Mother of Night?"

"It's your grandmother, Hera," Hecate did not bother trying to hide a slight hint of exasperation, "She laid a trap for Herakles, but it has somewhat...backfired...but the results could well be catastrophic. Since I cannot become directly involved in these proceedings, else I jeopardize my agreement with Zeus, I must send you along as my emissary, to say nothing of your looking out for your own best interests in your pursuit of your husband."

"Grandmother?" Hippolyta frowned, "What sort of trap has Hera launched this time?"

"It might take a while to explain," Hecate replied, "And time is elusive. Chronos does not relent his gift without price, so...shall I make it much easier for you to go to Thebes in order to head off a total disaster in the making?"

"Need you even ask?" Hippolyta cantered her horse a bit to hide her sudden nervousness, "I am ready to go to him now and protect my Man from any who might claim him, including my grandmother."

"Then step forward and I will convey you to the Palace," Hecate spread her cloak of night and revealed a starry passageway, "But be warned...in helping you now, I must not interfere again later...I cannot afford to give the impression of playing favorites, even if you are the one whose cause I have championed..."

"I accept these terms, Goddess," Hippolyta replied as she urged her War-Mare forward, "And I will need no other aid to take Herakles for my husband...I will persuade him on my own terms and prove myself the better suitor."

With that bold assertion she stepped through the cloak and vanished, leaving Hecate to smile as she softly murmured, "I just knew that you would say that...Hera had erred once too often this time, and this could well work out even better than I planned," she chuckled softly before she herself faded out into the lengthening shadows that were forming with the early arrival of sunset...

"LIONESS!" Herakles cried as he backed away from the transformed Cleo, who had been moving to assist Ithicles, who was himself just then suffering the effects of a sudden drug-induced madness.

"Oh no," Genma winced, then raised his voice and said, "EVERYONE BACK AWAY!" and promptly followed his own advice by diving for cover.

"What in the name of the Archons?" Ithicles averred as he saw the panic-stricken expression of his half-brother.

"Herakles?" Maegara asked, concerned with the way her newly betrothed Man was giving the impression of someone experiences abject terror in the presence of a lioness.

"What the heck's gotten into him?" Chalciope asked.

"I dunno," Antiope replied, "You'd think he'd seen a mouse instead of that overgrown Were-kitty."

"What's gotten into him all of a sudden?" Atalanta wondered before hearing a voice within her mind say back (Beats me...maybe the guy just needs to get laid...)

The giant Boar, Eurypylus, gave a faintly confused sounding, "Bwe?" as Herakles ducked around behind him, but the overgrown tusker was having his own time controlling a panicked reaction at the sight of the transformed Sphinx moving to the side of Ithicles, who was clutching at his chest with every indication of being in extreme agony, swiftly losing himself to his dart-induced dementia.

Off to the side King Creon was staring with dismay at the behavior of his guests while Jocasta was just covering her eyes and groaning slightly upon seeing a well-hatched plan go to pieces within the space of mere seconds.

"Ooops," her designated Assassin, a man named Hecator, lowered his blowgun and said, "Did I err, my Queen?"

Jocasta shot a glance at the man and stage-whispered back, "Wrong brother. Report to the Royal Torturer after this is over."

"Oh," the Assassin said faintly.

Despite being in full-lioness mode, Cleo had no problems making herself understood as she asked, "Handsome?"

She was unprepared for when the huge man rounded on her with a savage backhand that caught the lioness along the side of her head and stunned her for several seconds, then he picked her five-hundred pound mass up with both hands and hurled her away at Eurypylus, startling the Boar, who hastily got out of the way and exposed a cringing Herakles, who looked up just in time to see the semi-  
conscious lioness come hurtling at him.

Down he went as Cleo flopped over him and bore his mass down to the hardened floor, stunned and shaken by the awkward manner of her landing as Herakles just stared up at her with widened eyes, even as she converted back into her half-  
womanly Sphinx form.

"Sphinx?" Creon blinked, "She's the Sphinx who has troubled my country?"

"Ah..." Cleo glanced down at Herakles, whose manly body she presently straddled, her large breasts pressed hard against his pectorals as she tried to think of something to say about her awkward situation, coming up with a lame, "So...you're his brother, eh? Never would have guessed...say, is that a sword in your belt or are you just happy to meet me, tall, dark and Gorgeous?"

Instantly the leveled hostility of Maegara, Atalanta and even a much-annoyed Chalciope glared at the "couple" with heat enough to crack a marble statue, but Herakles was too far gone into his Mako-phobia, seeing the Lioness become a Woman having just been the capper to an otherwise very disturbing encounter.

With a cry of. "LIONESS!" he hurled her off and got to his feet, backing up to the wall in abject terror, the glaze coming over his eyes as his intelligence was submerged and the MADNESS slowly took over.

"Well now," Jocasta smiled to herself, "Maybe this isn't a total loss after all. So...the boy really does have a weakness..."

"What was that, Sister dear?" Creon asked.

"Oh, nothing," the Queen of Heaven and Thebes replied with a faintly airy expression.

"What's happening?" Antiope asked as she and Iolaus tried to wrestle with the enraged Ithicles, who was having none of their restraint and quite easily shook them off like they were children.

"Not good!" Iolaus declared as he was rudely shoved into a nearby wall for his troubles, "OW! This guy plays rough, and he's nearly as strong as his brother!"

"That's because Iolaus trained with Herakles under me!" Genma shouted back from a safe alcove in the chamber, "Don't you remember that trick you played on him a long time ago with the Goddess Hera?"

"What was that?" Jocasta's ears perked up, a frown suddenly forming on her lovely, ageless features.

"Huh?" Iolaus blinked, "Oh...you mean that? Oh no...now I remember, we've got trouble!"

"What's wrong?" Chalciope asked, only to be forced to use her spear to fend off a sudden attack by Ithicles, who lashed out at her in a savage, backhanded manner, knocking her hard enough that the Avatar of Artemis was sent tumbling backwards into another wall, and then went crashing through it.

"What the...?" Antiope blinked.

"He really is almost as strong as Herakles," Maegara marveled.

"No almost about it!" Iolaus called back, "When he was a small babe he drank from the mothers milk of Hera!"

"WHAT?" Jocasta reacted, "No way!"

"It was Dad's idea, Step-mom!" Iolaus insisted, "He wanted Herakles to have an able sparring partner growing up, and since Ithicles was born a mortal..."

"He's now an Immoral?" Chalciope groaned as she stumbled through the new doorway that she had given to the building, "Now he tells me..."

"A half-mortal Immortal?" Atalanta asked as she tried to use her two-handed war-  
hammer to fend off the attacks of Ithicles, who was lashing out at her with no restraint in his skilled attacks and bearing, "He's so fast! I can't find an opening...!"

"You won't!" Genma helpfully called out, "I trained the Boy almost as well as I trained..."

'RRRRROOOOAAARRRR!" cried Herakles all of a sudden, straightening out once again as the fear in his eyes was replaced by a new kind of madness.

"Uh oh, bye now! Nice knowing you people!" Genma called over his shoulder as he headed for the exit.

Even Chalciope and Atalanta were startled by the sound of Herakles's savage, battle-mad war-cry, and then all at once he pounced upon Ithicles and the two of them went at it with no holds barred, lashing out with fists and claw-like hands with blows that rang like colliding boulders, causing the very ground beneath their feet to shake like the herald to an earthquake.

"What's happening?" Creon cried out in dismay, seeing the ceiling of his palace begin to crack under the strain.

"I do not believe this!" Maegara exclaimed, "The forces which those two are unleashing..."

"SIS, LOOK OUT!" Chalciope cried out in warning.

"Eh?" Maegara stared up just in time to see a piece of the ceiling come collapsing down upon her, "Oh-!"

And then a huge form moved with surprising speed and butted her to one side, easily brushing off the collapse of the stone roof as though it hardly even mattered, Eurypylus having sensed the urgency of the deed from his frantic mistress.

"OOOF!" Maegara cried as she sprawled safely on an undamaged portion of the floor, only to find King Creon had come to her aid.

"My dear...are you hurt, are you all right?" he cried over the sounds of breaking furniture and busted walls, the fight between the Man-Gods causing them to blunder into everything that got into their path, crashing through stone and mud-daubed mortar as though they were cardboard props for a movie set, palace guards sensibly giving them plenty of elbow-distance.

One guard, who was not so sensible as his fellows, tried confronting the two berserkers with round bronze shield over one arm and javelin readied in the other. He tried to sneak up on Herakles, only to receive a savage claw-slash for his troubles. The man staggered backwards before regaining his footing, only to stare in disbelief as his shield collapsed into fragments as though an invisible claw had slashed right through the metal, sparing the arm underneath, though it went blissfully numb a few seconds later.

"I'm fine," Maegara assured her mortal father as she pushed herself back to her feet, dusting her hands off and frowning slightly as she reckoned her near-  
encounter with a chunk of mud-daub and straw-laced plaster, "But we've got to do something fast to bring them out of this battle rage before they destroy the entire palace..."

"No major feat that," Antiope remarked, "A good wind might well do that."

"The heck with the palace," Iolaus remarked, "I'm a little more worried about what those two might do to us!"

"Yeah, just the shockwave alone is hurting my ears," Chalciope winced.

"Your ears?" asked a fully human-seeming Cleo, "I'll be lucky if I'm not deaf when this is over!"

"But what are we going to do?" Atalanta wondered, holding her hammer at the ready, "In the state they're both in they could go at it until they drop, and I'm pretty sure neither one of them will even notice if the roof caves down on both of their heads."

"Maybe not," Maegara smiled, "But with you here our task may be a lot easier...Sister."

"Huh?" Atalanta looked puzzled at the redhead, "What do you mean?"

"Come on out, Aphi, that's your cue," Chalciope smiled, "Time to rise and shine, Sis."

"Sis?" Atalanta frowned, "What are you...?" all at once her eyes began to glow, and suddenly she took on an entirely different aspect, seeming to radiate all over as her feminine qualities were enhanced by more than a decimal point, and she suddenly seemed twice as statuesque and womanly as ever before, setting down her hammer and angling one hip as steeper angle than the other.

"So..." she drawled in a sensuous tone of voice, "You need me to cool things down here, do you? Normally I'm more the type to heat 'em up, but I can do improvs..."

"Do your stuff, Sister dearest," Maegara smiled, then glanced sidelong at Chalciope and helpfully used a finger to close the Pig-herder's mouth.

"Whoah..." Cleo blinked, "Now that's an Avatar..."

"Who are these people?" Creon wondered, "Daughter...?"

"Not now, Daddy," Maegara urged, "Give 'em your stuff, Aphi...and by the way, nice body."

"Thanks," Atalanta replied with an exaggerated wiggle of both hips, "I'm only borrowing it, but I may take it for a little spin when this is over."

"Oh momma," Iolaus averred as he watched Atalanta approach the two struggling brothers, who were well on the way to giving the palace a much-needed facelift, "I just hope those guys aren't too far gone to even notice..."

"Don't say things like that, Uncle!" Antiope snapped, "You want to jinx things?"

Ithicles had thrown a punch that collapsed an entire wall, Herakles slashed through a support pillar, partially bringing down another section of the roof upon their heads, a minor fact to which neither man seemed to give much attention. Ithicles picked up that fallen support pillar and tried to use it like a club, but Herakles reduced the wooden thing to so many toothpicks with yet another slash of his hands, and then he grabbed Ithicles up and used him to create a picture window where a stone wall had previously been standing. Ithicles broke his brother's hold and was about to launch a renewed attack on his opponent when a golden haired presence made itself known in the space between them.

Placing a hand to either shoulder of the two brawny men she purred, "That's enough, boys...I think you're hot and sweaty enough for me. What say we work things out and...have a sandwich...you provide the loaves, I'll provide the filling."

The effect on both men was astonishing...they froze up like statues, Ithicles blinking several times with a slightly bewildered expression, Herakles turning a quizzical stare at her and saying, "Mreow?"

"Hey!" Cleo protested, "That's my line!"

"Never mind, let her do her thing," Chalciope urged.

"Yes," Maegara agreed, "Aphi's major talent is to create a soothing aura that calms hostilities and makes men more inclined to seek pleasure over confrontation. Even bitter enemies have been known to set differences aside when she gets into the middle of the action."

"Uh...my dear, are you feeling all right?" Creon asked of his normally demure and overly shy daughter...who-he had to admit-was looking rather eye-  
catching in her torn outfit that left little to the imagination.

"No way," Jocasta frowned, "I won't have my fun get spoiled by that little Trollop this time..."

"Huh?" Antiope turned in time to see the queen draw back a hand, then all at once she cried out, "INCOMING!"

The ball of energy that formed in Jocasta's hands became the crackle of lightning, which struck the apace at Atalanta's feet and caused the possessed Blacksmith to jump back reflexively, breaking her hold and contact with the two men she had been attempting to "pacify." It also caused Aphrodite to recede back into the background of her Avatar's mind, allowing a much-confused Atalanta to resurface.

"W-what?" she glanced around, "Where's my hammer-AWP!"

Ithicles back-handed her without even noticing she was there, the gesture automatic and reflexive as the poison in his system once more took over his mind and body, returning him to full berserker status. Herakles reacted to this by roaring his defiance, and then the two brothers went at it again, both lurching into yet another support pillar and knocking the wooden beam loose from its foundations.

"Oh Tartarus!" Chalciope yelped as she pushed Antiope and Maegara out of the way, just barely managing to avoid being crushed herself as the pillar came crashing down where they had been standing.

Cleo landed on top of the pillar and dodged several more falling beams as the hardened clay roof started to crash down all around them, wincing as she complained, "I'm all for a floor show and all that, but this is getting a little too intense, don't you think?"

"Step-mother," Iolaus was suddenly beside the smirking Jocasta, "Wasn't that just a bit excessive on your part? You know Dad won't take too kindly to you directly trying to kill Herakles..."

"Don't spoil my fun, Hermes," Jocasta tartly replied, "I'll deal with my husband in good time, but for now I'm enjoying this too much to see it prematurely concluded."

"Would somebody please tell me what is going on here?" Creon plaintively demanded.

Rather than receive an answer to his question, a hand was laid on his shoulder and a womanly voice said, "Better let me handle this, Old Man...you're obviously out of your depths."

"Who?" Creon turned around and found himself confronted by a woman in armor, very tall and commanding in her presence, and his first impulse was to genuflect, confirming in his mind that she had to be the very embodiment of true born Goddess...

"Oh dear," Oedipus remarked as he and his entourage approached the fortress-like palace, "Sounds as if you people are under siege. Are there any wars scheduled for this afternoon that you happen to know about?"

"Not me," said one of his newfound companions, scratching his beard, "King's don't usually tell us about stuff like that unless they mean to raise our taxes."

"Maybe the Athenians are at it again," another former bathing companion remarked, "I hear their king is a bit of a dotard and his nobles might be willing to stir up some troubles over the succession."

"Athenians," another man sniffed, "They'll stand around and argue all day about the meaning of a price of cheese, and when you ask one for a straight answer he'll usually give you four or five reasons why you should never have asked him in the first place."

"Philosophy," a fifth man snorted, "Give me a good war over a debate any day! At least they're more peaceful..."

"Um," Oedipus remarked, "Maybe we should come back at another time? It seems as though there's a bit of a row going on in there."

"Oh, don't worry about that," the man at his shoulder remarked, "I'm sure the King's guards will handle it..."

"Then why are those chaps in armor running away from the palace instead of towards it?" Oedipus wondered.

"Um...maybe it's a festival?" another of his companions observed, "Those do get a little rowdy on occasions..."

"Um...it is getting a bit late," another man said, "Sun's setting on the horizon and all that, maybe we ought to come back a bit later?"

"Oh, nonsense," the first man insisted, "If there's trouble at the palace, then it's our patriotic duty as citizens to pitch in with the defenses, and if it's a party...well, it would be damned rude of Creon not to invite us, right?"

His companions seemed rather dubious on that point, but none seemed willing to refuse the call to either heroic action or "manly entertainment," so they resolved to approach the place with caution, just in case it turned out to be either one or the other. If, indeed, it proved too much for them to handle, then the common consensus was that it was a matter for royalty, one that commoners would best leave alone for the moment.

(Of course altruism was not the entire motive for the first citizen's sudden interest in national defense or celebration, but we'll get to his real motives a bit later, shall we?)

"I've got a bad feeling about this," Oedipus said grimly, wondering how he had allowed himself to be talked into this situations...

"Who?" Creon asked as he checked the impulse to genuflect in the presence of the armored woman.

"Why don't we leave that question to be resolved later," the woman replied, "I have a husband to rescue, and I see that I have arrived here none too soon..."

By this point a substantial portion of the throne room lay in utter ruins, the other half of the chamber not appearing all that much better. Those guards who had not fled and had tried to stay and defend the palace now littered the battlefield as a part of the collateral damage. The others had just barely managed to keep out of the way of the falling debris while looking on in amazement at the two Tom Cats currently wrecking more havoc upon their surroundings than upon one another.

"The Goddess was right," Hippolyta sniffed as she took everything in with a glance, "Grandmother is up to her usual mischief...and speak of the Harpy herself. Hmmm...with her present I suspect a bit of poison is at play here...but what type and upon whom has it been employed...?"

Right then Ithicles lunged for his brother and was rewarded with a powerful uppercut that sent the half-mortal crashing into a wall near to the Amazon Queen's position. That gave Hippolyta a chance to study the man's eyes and see the slightly glazed look about them, pupils far wider than was natural in a human, which was a sure sign of an alkaloid at work within his system.

"So I was right...hmmm...a very manly specimen indeed...I didn't know my husband had a twin," she mused with a speculative expression.

Now Herakles lunged for his brother and wrapped his arms around him, bearing him up and over as he tumbled into a backward slam that drove the other man's head into the hard-packed ground, creating yet another crater.

"Oh my..." Hippolyta's eyes widened abruptly, "Now that definitely left an impression..."

"Huh?" Antiope suddenly took notice of her fellow Amazon and called out, "SIS! What's Big Sister Hippy doing here?"

"You mean how did she get here all of a sudden," Chalciope frowned.

"I suspect she's had assistance," Maegara remarked, "But never mind that, we could use her right now. Queen Hippolyta! Some assistance?"

"Hmm?" Hippolyta glanced back their way then said, "Oh yes...quite right...just admiring the show. Ahem..."

Herakles stood back while his brother recovered, not so badly hurt by his fall that he would be slowed in any way from renewing the action. He was just beginning to lunge forward when a figure moved swiftly around behind him, then all at once his legs were knocked out from under him and he found himself bearing backwards as a heavy figure fell on him, twisting one arm as she wrapped her legs around his captive member.

"I have him pinned!" Hippolyta cried out, "What now?"

"My turn!" Maegara said as she stepped forward, cupping her hands and forming a ball of golden light between them. She took careful aim and plunged this energy ball into the chest of the struggling Ithicles, causing his body to stiffen as its radiance flowed all throughout his body.

"There now," she said, "That should take care of-!" all at once a hand rudely knocked her aside as Herakles loomed up over his fallen opponent, ready to renew the battle, the Lion Fist still full within his system.

"Stop him!" Iolaus cried as he moved to capture Herakles by one arm, Chalciope taking the other while Atalanta threw her arms around his waist from behind and Antiope selected a brawny leg to grip between her thighs.

Maegara, meanwhile, felt a sudden rude impact as her back struck a far wall, the pain momentarily shooting throughout her body before being replaced by a certain odd numbness. She managed to push herself up to her feet and groaned, "Oh dear...I guess I should have seen that coming..."

"Yes, I guess you should have, Niece."

"Eh?" the utter familiarity of that voice-and the chilling ennui it created-  
caused her to look around and see the familiar form of Hades, her grim-faced but gentle-mannered uncle, "Uncle Hades? But..."

"You're looking quite well, Athena," he smiled politely, then nodded, "Which, I fear, is more than could be said for your former host."

"My former...host?" Athena turned around and then blanched, for there lay the slumped body of Maegara, a trail of crimson drifting down the side of the wall with which her head had impacted, "No...!"

"Rather careless of you, actually," Hades remarked, "You should take better care of your Avatars. A pity, really...this one had so much life," he added wistfully, "But then, I see a lot of that in this business..."

"Wait...no, you can't mean...!" Athena blanched, "But it's not fair! I wasn't even done using her yet!"

"Fair doesn't really amount to much in my line of work, dear Niece," Hades said in a compassionate voice, "There's nothing fair at all about the ending, but it comes to all living things sooner or later..."

"No, I won't accept that!" Athena replied, "It was an accident, I dropped my guard for just an instant..."

"An instant is all it takes," Hades sighed, glancing around, "A pity...not too much work for me here. Most of these will recover in good health, given time to heal a few broken bones and bruises. Actually that's rather surprising, given the level of general destruction..."

Athena was not listening to her Uncle, bending down beside the body of the Princess Maegara and using her powers to scan the extent of injuries, "I can heal her back...it would only take a small fraction of my power..."

"Well, yes, I suppose you could repair the body," Hades replied, "But I'm afraid the Princess must come with me. It's her time, you see...she was scheduled to die earlier this day, but you interfered with that and gave the child several hours more of life..."

"NO!" Athena turned a horrified look towards her uncle, "I can't let you take her...not like this! It would mean Herakles was a murderer, that he took a life-whether by accident or not-without intentions!"

"Intentions also don't really amount to a whole lot in this line of business, dear Niece," Hades sighed as he pulled out a scroll and unrolled it, then stared at the names written down there before saying, "Yes...it's right here, she's on my list. It was her time to go...not your fault, really, nor mine, nor even my Nephew. I don't really make these decisions, you see...the Fates decide everything beforehand..."

"I don't care!" Athena cried as she again summoned her powers (far more easily now that she was back to being a full Goddess) and flooded Maegara's prone body with healing energies, instantly causing bones and muscles to knit as the tissues of her brain knitted back together and the blood stopped seeping onto the dirt floor of the ruined palace. A moment later the body lay motionless-  
but-intact, as good as before and ready for usage.

"Nicely done," Hades replied, "But a body without a soul is but an empty vessel, and I have the true essence of the Princess right here in my hand," he held one up to reveal a sparkling shade that took the form of Princess Maegara...

Meanwhile Herakles was thrashing about with the puny "Mortals" gripping his arms, trying to free himself even as Hippolyta got up from the now-motionless Ithicles, who was being attended to by a much concerned Cleo.

"What is wrong with my husband?" Hippolyta asked, "Why does he act this way?"

"Husband?" Atalanta grunted, "Since when?"

"He's under some kind of compulsion or geas or something!" Iolaus cried, "He thinks he's some kind of Lion, I think..."

"Thinks nothing!" Chalciope declared, "He's got the strength of a hundred lions! I can't even hold him still! And if he slashes you with those claws of his..."

"It'll be real bad news!" Antiope agreed without having to point out the numerous claw-marks rent in various stone and wood objects.

"A Lion, you say?" Hippolyta smiled, "Shame on you, Auntie...are you telling me that you can't handle a mere lion?"

"Hey!" Cleo complained, "I resemble that remark!"

"What do you have in mind?" Chalciope grunted, "I'm open to suggestions-hey, Eurypylus! Get your butt over here, I could use a little help!"

The mammoth boar just shook his tusked head and refused to come anywhere near the snarling Herakles, staying firmly wedged in a corridor that his huge bulk blocked out completely.

"Guess he's afraid of becoming the other white meat, eh?" Hippolyta sounded amused, but instead she walked up to the struggling Herakles and-heedless of the danger-stretched out a hand while making a soft throaty noise that got his attention.

"Mreow?" Herakles ceased struggling as he looked at that hand, then at the woman to whom it was attached.

"You don't really want to hurt anyone, do you Boy?" she asked in soothing tones, "You're just upset about things, but if you calm down you'll see that he can't hurt you now...no one wants to hurt you...in fact, you'll be feeling a lot better if you just take a moment and relax that tired body of yours..."

"Huh?" Chalciope asked as she felt the wildness in Herakles begin to recede, the crazed look in his eyes beginning to subside slightly.

Hippolyta did something very odd with her hand, moving it slowly in front of Herakles while maintaining eye contact, then slowly she brushed her fingers along the side of his cheek, past the slight bear that was growing along his chin, to cup the hairs of his mane and run those fingers around his earlobe in an openly affectionate manner. She made a soft noise of acceptance and he responded with a deep-throated noise of approval..."

"What gives?" Atalanta said as she looked up from where she was holding Herakles, frowning a bit when she saw the way he was responding to having his ear lightly scratched.

"Whoah...talk about charming the beast out of a guy," Antiope remarked as she took a risk and released her grip around the thigh of the man-God.

"What are you doing?" Jocasta frowned.

"Stay out of this, Grandmother," Hippolyta managed to voice the words without the harshness that might break the spell of the moment, "I think you've done enough harm for one day."

"That's putting it mildly," Iolaus remarked as he surveyed the carnage that had been wrought upon the palace, "I didn't think it was possible for this place to look any worse but...huh? SIS!" he suddenly cried, pointing across the room at the slumped body of Maegara.

"Mreow?" Herakles looked up, past Hippolyta's head to the redheaded girl whom his mind interpreted as "friendly."

Athena straightened up and stared at the miniature Princess standing upon the palm of her grim Uncle, then she said, "You have to give her back to me, Uncle...please. I'll do whatever I can to make it up to you, but I need the child to animate her body..."

To her surprise it was Maegara herself who answered, "It's all right, Great Lady Athena...I'll be all right. I was prepared to sacrifice myself to save my people from the Hydra, and now that this work is done I am ready to go to the fields of Elysium to be with my ancestors..."

"But...don't you want to live?" Athena asked of the mortal soul.

"Of course I do," Maegara smiled up at Athena as if it were a foolish question, "More than you can know. Life for mortals is very fleeting, after all, not like the eternal life of a Goddess. I feel blessed that you shared your essence with me for even an hour...it gave me so much insight into what it means to be a Goddess, and to be mortal. I thank you for that, and I thank you for everything you've done for me. I truly do not deserve such kindness..."

"How can you say such a thing?" Athena gasped, "I was using you for my own ends..."

"But you never intended me any unkindness," Maegara replied, "You were even willing to share with me the man who is to be your husband. I thank you for that with all my heart...you truly are a Great Lady, and one who has given me the greatest honor that I could have asked for..."

"The child will be well in Elysium," Hades replied, "She will not soon forget this life, I will see to that. If you wish to use her body, then it is of no great concern of mine, and I wish you well, but it was her time to go, and so I must leave with her or not at all..."

"Wait," Athena's mind raced, "That can't be it...there must be another way...Uncle...if I could have but a moment of your time...?"

Hades sighed, then reached into his robes and pulled out an hourglass. He pressed a stone set on the top and caused the sands to freeze up, even as a number of her relatives were in the process of rushing to her aid. Athena saw that Herakles was at the head of this stampede, and that his eyes were cleared of battle-rage, looking slightly more focused and human.

"You have your moment," Hades replied, "State your case and then I will be on my way."

"Uncle," Athena said, "It is true that the fates schedule when a person is to be born, live and die, but we have sometimes acted to modify or even intervene in the case of those mortals with whom we share a special favor. I understand that you are zealous about your work and very protective towards those mortals who come to you naturally in the course of time..."

"True," Hades replied, "I do enjoy my job, after a fashion. You get to meet so many interesting people in this business, Kings, commoners, fools, wise men, great heroes, greater disappointments...I often wonder why you and the others on Olympus don't spend more time getting to know your mortal worshippers instead of blasting them into my realm whenever it suits your fancy..."

"Um...yes...well..." Athena said lamely, "While I can understand the importance of your work, I have need of this particular mortal and I do not wish to part with her this soon after our joining..."

"Oh yes," Hades replied, "That's right...you have that bet with Cousin Hecate over which of your sisters is to marry our Nephew. I sympathize, really, but you must see that this incident effectively takes you out of the competition..."

"Who says it does?" Athena replied sharply, "Herakles wasn't acting on his own will...Hera was cheating, forcing him to go wild like that, and..."

"And I must reluctantly agree with you on this," Hades nodded, "I know my sister well...she is often quite petty and spiteful, though for that I think our brother is as much to blame."

"Yes...but...what happened just now wasn't supposed to be the way it turned out..." Athena continued to argue.

"I beg pardon?" Hades gently smiled, "Dear Niece, I believe that I know a bit more on that subject than you do."

"All right, granted," Athena nodded, "But I can't be taken out of the contest now...my brother is a man of great integrity and compassion. He will blame himself if he finds out that he accidentally killed my mortal host. I would not wish that on his hands...it is kinslaying, and you know what that would mean..."

"The Furies," Hades nodded, "They are a bit relentless on the blood-vengeance thing between close kin. I suppose I could intercede with them to convince them that this truly was an accident..."

"But the true guilty party is Hera," Athena persisted, "And you know perfectly well that the Furies will never come for her no matter how much evil she does."

"Not if they want to keep their jobs, no," Hades nodded, "I agree with you, it is a very unfair system. I regret that I had a part in creating the present order, but I can't just be making exceptions to the rules every time there is an injustice..."

"And why not?" Athena asked, "Why not make exceptions where there clearly is a gross injustice? Uncle...your realm is vast and full of the souls of those who died but justly and unjustly..."

"Not as much as you think," Hades replied, "Quite a number of those have since reincarnated. It's the natural cycle of birth, death and Karma..."

"Yes, granted," Athena waved the point away, "But surely Maegara was intended to know more about life than a quick death without first knowing either the love of a man or the pleasures that come with childbirth..."

"That is true," the soul of Maegara replied sadly, " I would had loved to have at least had one hour of love at the hands of that great hero who saved me..."

"I do regret being a spoilsport and a bit of a wet blanket here," Hades replied, "But dying unfulfilled, while tragic, is also a part of the cycle of life, and you would hardly be the first beautiful virgin who entered the fields of Elysium unblemished."

"Uncle," Athena said in exasperation, "Is there nothing I can say to convince you?"

"The child is in a state of bliss," Hades replied, "Elysium is hers for the asking, and I can guarantee a quick turnover into her next life...but...I'm afraid that's all the rules will allow me to offer..."

"Might I make a suggestion here, sweet Cousin?"

Athena's eyes suddenly narrowed, "What do you want, Hecate?"

"I believe that I have a stake in this affair," Hecate replied, "One of my functions is as Guardian to the Gates of the Dead, and I have often brought spirits from the underworld to the land of the living when they have important tasks that need to be fulfilled. Hades...I believe what Athena is saying is that you have a full schedule on your hands, and I don'' believe you truly want to waste much time debating the relative merits of sparing one lone mortal."

"True," Hades sighed, "A person dies on an average of once every minute or so, and that's quite a heavy workload, so much so that I find myself increasingly delegating all but the important tasks to my sister, Thantalia of the Endless..."

"Yes, in fact, while you were tarrying here I believe a caravan of Achaen worshippers met an untimely death at the hands of desert raiders along the Phoenician coastline, true?" Hecate asked.

"Not those desert barbarians again?" Hades rolled his eyes, "Blast Lucifer and his cult of Hibiru! Even on the other end of the world they give me nothing but grief..."

"So...perhaps you might be amenable to hearing a little proposal I have," Hecate smiled, "Allow Athena to keep the body of Princess Maegara for her own, and let them have a spiritual line so that the Princess will know and experience the life Athena lives in her honor. If she is successful in her pursuit, then the Princess will be restored to flesh and have her life back, no strings attached. If otherwise...well, at least the child will know more of life than she does at the present, eh?"

"What?" Athena asked, amazed at the generous proposal of the Witch Goddess.

"Intriguing," Hades replied, "But why do you arbitrate this on their behalf? I thought that you were favoring Hippolyta..."

"I have already done a service for her by bringing her to Thebes," Hecate replied, "In fairness to the game that I have going, I must now do an equal favor to her competitors...it will make things more sporting that way and give Hippolyta that which she craves almost as much as a good man...some sporting competition."

"I see," Hades nods, "Well, in that case, I see no reason why I should object. I will tell you what...I will restore Maegara to partial life, allowing her spirit to know what is going on within her body, but it will-henceforth-be Athena who lives the live of the Princess Maegara."

"Indeed," Hecate turned back to Athena, "Is this agreeable to you? I warn you, there is a price to be paid if you accept these terms that Hades has offered."

"Which is?" Athena asked.

"The flesh will become your flesh," Hades replied, "Your soul will be merged with that of the Princess. You will retain much of your divine birthright and power, but you must protect this body far better than you did the last time because if you die within in...then you will come to spend a time in my realm."

"Say...what?" Athena blinked.

"You will die as a mortal and become a resident of Elysium," Hecate replied, "For a time...say, a century or two, after which you will be restored to full Goddesshood...depending on how you conduct yourself from this moment onward."

"Those are the terms which brother Zeus offered to those titans seeking his parole," Hades replied, "So you see...there is precedence. If a God or Titan wishes to experience life as a mortal, and dies a mortal death, then they are given a taste of what mortal death is like in my realm, after which they are restored to their former status...hopefully wiser and better for the experience."

"In doing this, however, you will be helping your mortal host to live," Hecate added, "By extending her life, by living her life as Maegara, you will be honoring her memory and giving her your memories to treasure when she moves beyond to her next incarnation."

"But choose carefully before you take me up on this offer, Niece," Hades cautioned, "Mortals can die from so many causes. You will, effectively, be an Immortal, but if you lose your head or suffer grievous injury that is too great to be naturally healed...then you will become my guest for a time in Elysium and share the fate of the Princess."

"But there is not much time in which to choose," Hecate warned, "Hades must restore the timeflow and be about his duties, so think well before you reject or accept his offer. No one will hold you to blame for refusing...it is a heavy burden for any Goddess to carry..."

"But it's the only one you offer me if I'm to remain in the game and continue my pursuit of Herakles, right?" Athena concluded, then when the Witch Queen nodded she sighed, "All right...I don't see any other way around it. I'll become Maegara."

"Great Lady...how can I ever thank you?" Maegara asked.

"I'll think of something," Athena lamely smiled then stood erectly and added, "Will I still be able to assume the form of a Goddess?"

"For temporary purposes, yes," Hecate replied, "But the bulk of your divine essence will return to Mount Olympus."

"Then I'm ready," Athena replied, only to experience a strange disorientation as it felt as though she were being sucked through a straw and deposited...elsewhere...

"Sis, Sis, are you all right?" someone was shaking her, and Maegara opened her eyes, feeling slightly sore all over.

"Uh...what happened...?" she asked in momentary confusion.

"Oh, thank the Gods!" she found herself suddenly hugged tightly in a man's arms and marveled at how good he smelled, for all that he was hot and sweaty, "I thought I'd killed you!"

"Just about," Iolaus remarked, studying the pattern of one of the only walls to remain standing and wondering what had happened to the blood that he had spied there a moment beforehand.

"Herakles?" Maegara asked in a slightly muffled voice, oddly too reluctant to push him away in order to demand air, even if he was holding her so tight that her ribs threatened to buckle.

"Well now," Chalciope frowned, "You've come out of it at last, have you?"

"Huh?" Herakles sounded more than slightly bewildered, then turned and looked around at the palace before saying, "I...did...all...that?"

"You and the other guy," Antiope remarked, turning to the other woman standing beside her and saying, "How come you're not doing something about this, Sis? Your husband's hugging another woman..."

"I'll let it slide this time," Hippolyta replied, adding wryly, "Just don't make a habit of it, husband."

"Huh?" Herakles blinked, "H-Huhsssband...?"

And then his eyes rolled up in his head and he toppled backward, his arms going slack as he released a much-confused Maegara.

"Looks like he finally collapsed from exhaustion," Atalanta remarked, glancing around, "Now, will somebody please explain to me what just happened?"

"That's what I've been asking all along," Creon said disconsolately as he sat upon the ruins of a block of basalt that had been spared in all the struggle.

"Where is...Hera?" Maegara frowned as she glanced around and finally spotted Jocasta, "YOU-BITCH! This is all your fault!"

"Sticks and stones, Step-daughter," Maegara folded her arms, "What are you going to do about it?"

"Nothing," Creon replied, suddenly straightening out as he seemed to grow in size and dimensions, his body suffused with energy as his nearly trimmed beard became recognizably crimson, "But I'll have a say in what happens next, Woman!"

"Hah?" Chalciope blinked.

"That voice..." Hippolyta grew pale.

"Ohshit," Iolaus winced, "It's Dad!"

"W-W-What...husband?" Jocasta suddenly looked very, very frightened, but as she started to back away she found her way blocked by Eurypylus.

Creon smiled in a manner familiar to those who were from Olympus and mused, "Honey...I'm Hoooooommme...!"

Continued.

Comments/Criticisms/Chaldean Soap Operas: shadowmane

Zeus decides to take a stand on the matter, but does this spell good or ill for the marital intentions of the various goddesses? And what will Herakles say when he wakes up (other than "OUCH!")? Will the Quest for the Twelve Labors continue? Will Athena be able to claim him at last? Do Hippolyta and the others even stand a chance? And what will become of Jocasta/Hera now that her "loving" husband is back in the picture? (For that matter, where did Genma get off to in all the excitement, and what about Oedipus?) For these and many other questions yet to be asked and answered, stay tuned for: "For Love and Honor," or "Getting Be-Hind the Eight-Ball!" Be there!

X -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

If you wish to check out my other works, Please check out my Fanfiction webpage at: . All related chapters of this series can be found there along with my other works. 


	10. Chapter 10

Hercules10

Hercules 1/2

"GENMA SAOTOME'S TIME AND SPACE MISADVENTURES!"

by Jim Robert Bader

(Inspired by the works of Rumiko Takahashi &amp; Others,  
with special recognition for those great playwrights,  
Sophocles and Euripides, though neither one here truly rated a Homer.)

Chapter Ten.

Herakles Fuerens!

Isle of Salamis-1254 BC

It was a time of great troubles known to later times as the "Heroic" or "Homeric" age, (also defined as the "Silver Age" by those who collected back issues) due to the sometime need of ordinary people to find representation in the great Heroes who strode the land like literary titans. The Poet-Historian later known to the ages as "Homer"-like many others of his profession-would tend to "clean things up a bit" and give polish to the adventures of these stirring tales of might and valor whose primary protagonists were the "men of might" who did the deeds that common men were unable (or unwilling) to handle, struggling against fantastic odds in order to gain the immortality of having their names be recalled in legend.

However, what the Poets and Playwrights of later times neglected to mention was that Professional Heroes-lacking patronage and a good Trade Name Sponsor-  
could not exactly make a decent living by just plain being heroic. It is notoriously hard to feed a crew of hungry hangers-on and traveling companions on just your name alone...sometimes you had to bring home the bacon the old fashioned way, often literally, by foraging off the land and "inducing" the local citizenry to "voluntarily" contribute their goods to the "worthy cause" of the advancement of the heroes livelihood, which also kept his crew and followers happy, under the promise that they would one day "pay it back" with interest. After all, they were Heroes, and heroing was hard work enough work if one way to defend the local populace from the rampages of great plagues and the occasional monster. (In another time this would be referred to as "protection money").

Of course there was an "or else" clause to this implicit verbal contract...the Hero would look out for the best interests of the people who paid for his services, but the people who did not pay...well...then they needed to hire someone to protect them from the wrath of the "Heroes!"

And in these times of low taxation and no representation, standing armies could not be relied upon to put a curb to these sorts of antics, so whenever ordinary people sighted the white sail that bore some particular heroic banner their natural response was to scream, "HERE COME THE HEROES, RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!"

One particularly vigorous "Hero" just making a name for himself was a fellow named Jason, a former native of Iolcos who had turned a naval career into a rather lucrative profession. Although he would have spurned the title of "Pirate," he considered himself an up-and-coming entrepreneur whose independent Import/Export/No-Tariff/Free Trade association had been doing a rather nice turn ever since he had been "forcibly relocated" from his former career as a Prince of his native city. The one who had deposed and exiled him-his cousin, Pelias-had the favor of Poseidon himself, so Jason felt no particularly strong kinship ties even to his own nation of origin. He was pretty much of a free spirit at heart, the designated captain of his own Phoenician galley and serviced by a loyal crew of motley types who might look downright at home in a Grateful Dead concert.

Presently Jason was conducting a "foraging" expedition on land (some might call it a Raid, but again that made it seem too much like piracy for Jason's liking) supervising his men as they restocked the ship's depleted stores of food, mead, trading commodities and women. They needed to take in enough heavy jugs of olive oil and wine to provision his crew for an expedition for a little cruise down the coastline of Lacunae (to say nothing of serving as extra ballast to keep the mast upright), and the boys needed a little "feminine attention" to keep them happy along the way (to say nothing of having someone around who could darn their kits whenever their loincloths became a bit frayed around the edges), so inducing the company of some of the local ladies was just one more necessity that came with the job of being a good captain (to say nothing of preventing a mutiny sometimes later). The local village girls pretty much knew the score anyway...Heroes had been raiding along the coastline since time itself began, and Fishing villages didn't offer many other types of "career opportunities" for a village girl anyway. And, of course, being the good gentleman that he was, Jason could always sell the girls at a friendly port when the crew inevitably became tired of their constant nagging (a true Prince would never sink so low as to feed them to the fishes).

Being a practical man of steady means, Jason did not practice favoritism with his crew and had even gained a reputation for fairness in how he divided up the booty, just as he could be equally fair in meting out punishment to troublemakers and transgressors. His was a small outfit, but he had larger dreams of future expansion, especially if he earned enough goods to one day recruit an army that he could lead back to Iolcos to "pay his respects to his cousin." As such he was more of an administrator than a "hands-on" kind of Pirate, but he could weigh in when it suited him, such as when he met the lovely young thing presently walking up to greet him while paying no head to all the screaming, shouting, grunting and general carrying on that was currently causing such a commotion throughout the little seaport village.

Jason took a moment to study this lovely woman with the smoldering violet eyes, raven dark hair done up in a ponytail with alabaster skin shining through the nearly gauze-like material that served more to display than conceal her generous assets. He had to blink twice in order to confirm that such a vision was real and not a figment of his dreams for there was no way that he could seriously believe that she was a local girl of this fishing village. She seemed almost regal, a sure sign of nobility...and yet...what was such a woman doing here? And why did she conduct herself as if the frenzy taking place all around her was of no real concern to her whatsoever?

"Greetings noble Hero," she said in a lilting voice that was oddly accented, "I am the Princess Medea of Colchis come hither to pay my respects to you."

Jason actually blinked at that as he responded, "Colchis? You are the daughter of King Aertes? But...what are you doing here in Salamis? Colchis..."

"It's a very long ways away from here, I know," she replied, "I am on a pilgrimage to the lands of the Ionians and my ship-alas-ran aground on some reefs. Will you not assist me, noble sir, in getting to my appointed destination?"

"Certainly," Jason leered, not wanting to be too specific about what "destination" sprang immediately to mind, though looking at this statuesque beauty made it rather plain to him that she would be sharing his bedsheets by the time his ship set sail for parts south, "Have you any baggage which you might wish to bring on board, Princess?"

"None but what I carry within me," she replied with a rather enigmatic smile, "Which you will understand in another moment."

"Er...I don't quite follow you..." Jason started to say when a shadowy presence became known from just behind his back. Jason started to turn around to see who it was who was standing there...some sort of huge figure in bronze armor...when-  
-all of a sudden-he felt something enter through his backside, sliding into his body as though fitting out a new garment. For a moment Jason shuddered with a sudden surge of conflicting emotions, feeling the rage of battle conflict with the fire of passion for some girl he had never yet met, then all at once he straightened out again, glanced down at his limbs and smiled in satisfaction.

"Now this is more like it," he mused, flexing his arms and saying, "A strong body...a man can do a lot with this kind of equipment."

"Welcome to your new home, my Brother," said Medea, "I trust your mortal host is as accommodating for you as mine most amply suits me?"

"Well enough, Sister Dearest," Jason smiled, "This suits me just fine, and might I add that you look pretty stunning in that yourself."

"Flatterer," Medea teased, "Shall we be off then?"

"Just so," Jason turned to his right-hand lieutenant and said, "Blow the Conch and call the boys back. We're shipping out ASAP..."

"Eh?" his lieutenant blinked his eyes, "Shipping out, Cap'n? But...the boy's aren't done having their fun with the ladies..."

"Are you deaf, Man?" Jason seemed to suddenly loom twice as large and intimidating in the other man's eyes, "I said we're shipping out...have you got a problem with that?"

"Ah...n-n-nosir!" the other man cringed without quite knowing the full reason, "We'll do exactly as you say...Boy! Blow the Recall signal! Get the men back to ship on the double, ASAP!"

"Yessir!" the youngest ship's mate replied before lifting his conch and blowing out a signal, which brought a nod of satisfaction from his nominal Captain, who smiled his approval in an almost chilling manner.

"Good crew discipline, I like that," Jason nodded, "Come on board, Sister Dearest, we are taking leave of these shores in search of my true beloved...she of the golden locks who has captured my heart..."

"Yes, of course, Brother-dearest," Medea replied as she allowed Jason to lift her into the galley, then settled in as though claiming it by right of birth, "Meanwhile I must find my own true intended...he who is the dashing Herakles, before one of our Harpy siblings attempts to claim him for herself..."

"Herakles," Jason spat, "That wretch who defies me and stands in the way of my true love? I shall run my sword through him before I let him lay a hand upon his betters! Come, Sister, to battle! And may our loves' conquest be hard-won and merry!"

The second in command, an NCO by the name of Tiphys, was more than a little disturbed upon hearing his Captain address that dark haired witch by the title of "Sister." True she was a sultry beauty, but there was a kind of madness about her eyes that made the Helmsman shudder slightly in dread of coming under her attention. His captain, too, was noticeably different, not the easy-going sort he had been but a moment ago but rather someone a bit harder edged and more of a martinet. It was as if the spirit of some God had just taken Jason's body over, for he certainly seemed taller and more imposing than in prior moments.

But still a good first officer had to force himself to address the stranger presently wearing the shape of Jason by asking, "What heading shall we make, Cap'n?"

"We sail North to Attica," Jason replied, "And with luck we'll be there by nightfall."

"Attica?" Tiphys blinked, "But...what about Lacunae?"

"Is something wrong with your hearing?" Jason asked in a dangerous way that as much as said that the first officer might well watch himself in how he chose to answer that question.

"Um...right," Tiphys could not quite manage to fully suppress a shudder, certain now that it was the work of the Gods that was in play for causing all of this to happen, and as any decent Hero well knew (with the sole exception of the late and lamented Bellerophon, who had become late by ignoring this key point) that if there was anything more dangerous than a Hero to cross, it was a God with a mission, for not only could they kill you but they could make your afterlife just as unpleasant, and with no chance at a parole (other than to reincarnate) it was better for all concerned to just give them what they wanted and hope that they would turn away and bother somebody else's existence...

Which pretty much summed up the general attitude about Heroes, but irony was lost to the Helmsman and would hardly have been appreciated under the circumstances as he turned away to do the unknowing bidding of the Gods of War and Madness...

"Well," remarked a now human-seeming Cleo as they trudged down the road leading from Thebes, heading due south, "So that was Zeus back there, huh? Pretty impressive guy, reminds me a lot of Osiris back home..."

"You should see him when he's not in somebody else's body," a weary Herakles replied, "Impressive doesn't even do him justice."

"You don't exactly sound thrilled about it, Brother," Ithicles remarked, "Is meeting your real father that much of a problem?"

"It ain't that, Bro," Herakles growled, "It's a lotta other stuff all coming down at one time. I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm starting to feel like a toy on a string, like I've seen kids play with down in Mesopotamia..."

"In other words you've been all over the place," Atalanta griped, "But did you ever think of stopping by and looking me up in Corinth?"

"Ah...well..." Herakles winced.

"You've been to Mesopotamia?" Antiope asked, "Wow, I'm impressed!"

"I've been to lots of places, Kid," Herakles replied, "Just ask Pops here, anyplace where they teach some form of martial art, I've been there..."

"At least as far as the known world, right?" Iolaus asked, "I think you were trying to get to Cathay when you took your little side-trip into Amazonia, right?"

"Yeah, that was the basic idea," Herakles grumbled while trying very had not to look at the two Amazons casually walking alongside him, the Queen and her kid sister (well...technically you could call them that even if they were both centuries older than himself), "Just got a little sidetracked..."

"If you had come to Amazonia asking for proper directions," Hippolyta replied, "You might have at least been steered in the proper direction. We know the Silk Road to Cathay very well, though it is a long and hard passage through barbarian lands infested with giants and monsters..."

"Nothing I can't handle," Herakles assured them, glancing sidelong at Genma before adding, "Pops here seems to think we could one day stop off at his homeland, even if-from what he tells me-the place won't even be inhabited by his people for a long while to come yet."

"Ah yes," Maegara replied, "Nippon, I believe you call it? Unfortunately there are no references to such a place in any of my scrolls back on Olympus, though I have heard of a far eastern island inhabited by hairy red-headed men little better than savages, and the Gods who live there are said to be quite potent spirits of nature."

"Good call, Sis," Iolaus replied, "Just for curiosity's sake I once took a spin around that area...not much to report, of course. The lands are pretty unsettled and the population is sparse. The only part that's even halfway civilized is Cathay itself, a pretty medium-sized empire built around their so-  
called Yellow River, but they have library scrolls there that would even impress you if you got a good look at them sometime."

"Perhaps it would be worth a trip," Maegara conceded, "But for now I think we had best keep walking if we are to make to Mycenea, as Hecate has instructed..."

Hercules scowled, and Hippolyta took note of this as she asked, "And this troubles you, Husband?"

"I don't like jumping through that Witch's hoops," Herakles grumbled, "Mind you, I ain't saying she's total bad news or nothing, but I get this feeling she's got...what's that word again? A hidden agenda behind all this Quest stuff that she keeps insisting on...and why by Gaea do I have to look up my cousin Eurystheus anyway?"

"You don't like the guy, do you?" Chalcione asked as she walked alongside her giant boar companion.

"Yeah, well...I hate to talk bad about the little prick," Herakles grumbled, "But the guy creeps me out. How a total wuss like him ever got to be King is a real testimony to what a bad idea it is to pick your kings on the basis of whose Pop sired them. You'd understand if you've met him..."

"I have," Iolaus replied as he reflected back on the incident within the Theban palace, "And I agree, taking up a job in his service does not appeal to me in the least...what could Hecate be thinking..."

"What's the matter, Dear?" Creon smiled at the cringing Jocasta, "Surprised to see me? I have been keeping up on recent events, you know, and I've heard all sorts of interesting things about your activities here on Earth. Would you care to explain your side of the story, hmmmmm?"

"Ah...Husband," Jocasta winced, "I...can't imagine what you might have heard...I am simply looking out for the interests of your son and..."

"Buhl-sheet!" Iolaus pretended to sneeze into his hand, adding a profuse, "Gaea bless me..."

Creon glanced around at the ruined palace and said, "This is your idea of looking out for my son's best interests?"

"Ahm...well..." Jocasta fumbled for an explanation.

"A well is a very deep subject for shallow minds, or so I am told," Maegara remarked, "And you should be more careful about leaving the evidence of your crimes lying around Step-mother. Ithicles may have paid the price this time around, but Herakles is hardly in any better condition..."

"If you don't mind, Daughter," Creon said, "I think I can handle this part by myself. What about it, dear? Do you happen to know why my son's mortal brother should have lost control in such a manner that he could not tell friend from foe from brother?"

"Husband," Jocasta replied, "I can't imagine what it is that you suspect me of, but I assure you that what became of Herakles was none of my doing. The boy seemed to act abnormally when he saw the changeling girl assume the form of a lioness, and all at once he started attacking people and did all this damage fighting against his brother..."

"Why do I have this feeling that there is more to the story than you are telling, Grandmother?" Hippolyta mused.

"Past history?" Chalciope sniffed.

"Maybe it's just her time of the month?" Atalanta suggested.

"More like her time of the decade," Antiope corrected.

"Hermes," Creon said without taking his eyes off of Jocasta, "Perhaps you might explain it for me. Exactly why did your brother lose control like this?"

"Search me, Dad," Iolaus replied, "He kept shouting something about a Lioness and then flew off the handle. Genma seemed to know what was bothering him, but..."

"I see," Creon cast his gaze around and then stretched out a hand as though to grasp at something invisible...a moment later he held Genma by the scruff of his neck dangling above ground level with the latter beating frantic hoofs in the air as if captured in the act of running. "Now then," Creon growled in a particularly ominous manner, "What is this about my son having a weakness?"

"Urk!" Genma belatedly realized that he was not only NOT gaining any ground but that the ground he was dangling above looked suspiciously a lot like the demolished throne room of the palace. That hand on his neck was also a disturbingly familiar sensation, and with a slight gulping noise he took a pretty accurate guess at just who was addressing him in such an imperious manner.

"Better let him down so he can answer you, Daddy," Maegara suggested.

"But save the strangling option for later, just in case it's needed," Atalanta helpfully added.

"Good thinking on both counts," Creon said as he dropped Genma on his squat butt, "Now then...mind explaining to me what this was all about, Genma old boy? Starting with why my son is afraid of lions?"

"Er..." Genma felt his neck and weighed his survival options against how truthfully he could answer that one, seeing an unconscious Herakles passed out on the ground with Maegara kneeling over him, "Ah...well...the Makoken...a very dangerous technique...really takes it out of the boy, and all that..."

"So I gathered," Creon replied, "Keep talking."

"Ah...well...a while ago, when he was still a young lad barely half his present age," Genma continued, "We chanced to meet up with some very unpleasant people...I believe they called themselves Kurghans..."

"Oh yes," Hippolyta noted, "We know of them...barbarians from the upper steppe plains...very unpleasant people indeed."

"Yeah," Antiope said, "They like to toss young children into open pits to fight with wild animals and...oh my...you mean...?"

"I'm afraid so," Genma replied, "They tried to do that with the Boy, but it was a pit of Lions they were using to amuse themselves, and I'm afraid the Boy suffered some...psychological damage and-URK!"

This time Creon lifted him up from the front area, and he did it by gripping a handful of the Man-Satyr's chest hairs, hauling Genma up to eye level as he growled, "AND YOU LET THEM DO THIS TO MY SON? How could you?"

"If I might interject my own presence here," said Hecate, who appeared from the shadows of the room with silky smoothness, "I believe that I can elaborate upon what friend Genma here is attempting to explain."

"You again?" Creon growled, "What is it this time, Witch-Queen?"

"Observe the image that I conjure," Hecate waved her staff in the air and at once a shimmering picture took form in full life-like relief, of a young boy approaching a wounded lioness who was favoring one paw, speaking soothingly to the animal before getting near enough to examine its injuries, upon which point he took out a belt knife and carefully removed a huge wooden splinter that had been lodged painfully in its paw.

The lioness growled in protest, but Herakles was powerful enough to hold her immobile while performing the delicate surgery, then winging a bandage made from cloth torn from the hem of his leather jerkin. Taking a sprig of leafy material from his belt he wound it up into a poultice and tied it to the injured paw, then calmly smoothed the mane of the lioness, whose protests were by now less severe, even as it licked its bandage experimentally before deciding to leave it alone.

"Oh look!" Antiope smiled, "He pulled a splinter out of his paw, how cute."

"What a cute little cub he was," Cleo added, amazed that a young human would show this much compassion.

"Boy always was one to wander off and ignore the wisdom of his Sensei," Genma huffed quietly to himself in faint disgust.

"He tranquilized the lioness with a dart tipped with a mild toxin, as he had been taught to do by the Centaur named Chiron," Hecate explained, "In these days he was very good with working with animals, almost a Forester during this time when his training included the mastery of arms, as well as learning the unarmed techniques insisted upon by Genma. As it turned out, this training served him very well when the two of them foolishly ventured into the lands of the Kurghans. The Lion Goddess herself remembered his kind gesture and decided to bestow upon him the favor of her benediction..."

"You mean...?" Chalciope blinked.

"Indeed," Hecate nodded, "Observe," she said as new images took form in the space before her.

Now the image showed Genma and a slightly older boy Herakles being herded along by men with spears, clubs, swords and wicked looking axes, barbarians by the look of these rough men, who were shoving their captives towards an open pit near the edge of their village. With great guffaws of delight they shoved Genma and Herakles into the darkened spaces, then illuminated same with flaming torches, allowing both Satyr and youth to have a good look at their impending fate...a near-full pride of lions who dwelled within this man-made chasm, unable to leave and clearly quite hungry from the look of the bleached bones which littered the floor of the basin.

Genma-faced with certain death and having little hope of survival-looked panic-stricken in all directions while Herakles just stood his ground and looked nervously at their new cell-mates. The lions had been lounging around, hungry and fretful, but were now rousing from a fitful slumber, sensing fresh meat just waiting to be slaughtered. The male lion who headed the pride just looked disdainfully at the pathetic morsels being offered as dinner, turning up his nose as though they were beneath his royal notice.

The lionesses (and younger male lion) who made up the rest of his pride were less discriminating about where their next meal came from, and without passing judgement on the fitness of this meal, they lined up to stalk their kill, their teeth bared menacingly while overhead the Kurghans cheered them on and roared for the slaughter to begin.

The young Herakles-hardly more than a mere boy of ten-picked up a half-  
chewed thighbone and held it like a club in both hands, clearly defiant to the last and ready to go down swinging as the lead lioness made her lunge for this rather succulent-seeming morsel. Herakles managed to lodge the bone between her jaws as her weight bore him down, and for a moment he seemed to be at a disadvantage as the larger creature tried to force him into submission...

But then a curious thing happened...the lioness paused and stopped attacking the unarmed boy underneath her...instead she began sniffing him about and making curiously wuffing noises, even as the other lions paused as if they too were puzzled by her curious behavior. All at once-to their mutual surprise and that of the boy himself-she started licking his face in a quite obviously affectionate manner.

Genma-torn between fear for his own hide and fear for what would become of him should the son of his Patron get eaten (to say nothing of the fact that he was likely to be next on the menu)-was equally surprised when the boy did not, in fact, get eaten. He looked around nervously at the gathering of lions, convinced that they were the type who would consider Goat Legs a delicacy, and saw them mulling about in confusion as if uncertain what to do, their hunger momentarily forgotten as they puzzled out the confusing behavior of their female Pride Alpha.

The Kurghans were no less astonished by this inexplicable behavior. It had been three full days since they last fed a victim to the lion pit...what was wrong with these animals? Why weren't they ripping the boy and his Master to pieces? A slow murmuring of dissent well up within them and their mood went from festive to disappointed and even angry. They wanted to see blood and this need for live entertainment was being frustrated. Not having civilized amenities (like Satellite TV-feeds of Professional Wrestling matches) they were definitely feeling gypped, and more than a few started throwing things at the lions, hoping to stir up some kind of a reaction.

And Herakles? He was petrified by a mixture of fear and wonder, staring up at the lioness, who was looking down at him as though she had become transfixed by a power greater than herself, and then her eyes began to gleam with inner fire...and Herakles's own eyes began to gleam...and all at once he snuffed the air and made a tacit, "Rowl?"

The lioness backed away, allowing the boy to get up on all fours, staring wonderingly at the maternal gaze of the lioness and tilting his head with a curiously feline expression.

"Mreow?" the boy inquired.

Genma-knowing full well the significance of that noise-pressed his back up against the wall of the pit and tried to make himself as small as he could manage, dreading to attract the boy's attention at this most sensitive of moments. He did not know how it had happened-there was not a hint of fish sausages to be found in all these primitive wastes-but the boy had just been infected with the Madness that Genma knew so well and dreaded. No longer was this a small and fragile boy (well, a boy with the strength of a hundred grown men, but still...), instead this was a walking force of nature poised before his Sensei looking ready to explode into fury at any moment.

That catalyst for that moment was when one Kurghan youth foolishly threw a rock directly at the crouching boy, and Herakles reacted to this with a sharp growl of, "MREOW?" He turned to see the jeering men lining the rim of the pit, and suddenly he was not afraid of either them or their weapons.

Without pausing to think of what he was doing, the boy charged the wall of the pit, causing Genma to scramble for cover, and with hands moving in a furious blur he began to tear at the wall with bare fingers, ripping out rocks, dirt and earth in a blur while the lions gathered around in curiosity (none being foolish enough to stand in the path of the dirt spray) as the transformed human cut a trough through the earth, which formed a literal ramp mere moments later, even as Kurghans standing along the rim lost their balance atop the crumbling rim, a few falling into the pit, much to the delight of the hungry lions.

What followed next was too gruesome to be described in a fanfic, the lions following the boy (who was now one of them) as he led the way out of the pit and into the village. Men screamed like old women while old women ran for the hills carrying their children in their arms while a living dervish tore into their village like a literal hurricane, laying waste to every inanimate thing that stood within his path. Weapons were shattered, beaten aside and torn from the bloody hands of the men who wielded them, leaving them helpless to face the lions, who were intent themselves on paying back old scores against their longtime tormentors. Genma cautiously crept out of the now-vacant pit and saw the bloodied bodies everywhere, gulping in terror as he decided that the pit would make a good hiding place, at least for a few more hours...

Finally daybreak fell upon a now-deserted village where fattened lions lounged about with contented feline expressions. Genma crept once more out of the pit and stole his way across the bloodied field of battle, searching about for his lost charge until he found the boy curled up in the lap of a lioness, sleeping dreamily away as though he were back in the arms of his mother. Extricating the boy from his comfortable position, Genma carried him away with as much stealth and haste as his goat legs could manage...

Hecate ended the vision about this point then smiled, "And that is how your son acquired the Makoken, Lord Zeus, the spirit of the Lion, which fills him at times when he is confronted by the creatures."

"Incredible," Zeus averred, turning to Jocasta, "Did you see that? Did you see the way the boy fought off those barbarians? By Chaos, what a fighter! He was unstoppable, invincible..."

"Out of control?" Jocasta blanched, feeling mildly sick to her own stomach.

"Ah...yes..." Genma said somewhat self-importantly, "The Makoken...the fiercest technique known to the Saotome Ryu. It is a forbidden technique, to be used only in times of gravest crisis, when the boy ceases to think like a human being and is filled with the battle rage of a true born Lion. When he is in this state he fears nothing and feels no pain, no fatigue, only the rage that turns him into an unstoppable engine of pure destruction..."

"In other words," Hippolyta noted, "When he is confronted by lions he becomes a lion in order to blend in?"

"Some ultimate technique," Chalciope sniffed, "You turned our brother into a Berserker."

"Wasn't me," Genma hastily replied, "You saw how it happened...it was the Spirit of the Lioness herself..."

"Precisely," Hecate nodded, "And with the mark of the Lioness within him, he becomes a Lion himself and ceases to think like a human."

"Oh really?" Cleo said with a speculative expression, "And does this just apply to when he's angry? What about...oh...say...when he gets horny?"

"Huh?" said a bleary-eyed Ithicles, who was curled up in her lap and only now starting to regain full consciousness, "What was that...? Something about...Herakles...and a lion...?"

"Never mind," Cleo patted his face gently, "I'll explain the details later, handsome."

"Man, that is brutal," Atalanta said, "You mean every time he sees a lion he's going to freak out like that?"

"Well, first he'll try and avoid contact with lions," Genma replied, "Even to hear one mentioned will cause a strong aversion, but when he can't escape, he'll gradually lose all sense of himself as a man and become a lion just to preserve his sanity, and after he recovers he won't even remember what happened."

"Sounds mighty convenient," Ithicles felt the sides of his temples and groaned, "What...happened...?"

"Other than you getting poisoned by step-mother here?" Maegara asked, glancing meaningfully at Jocasta, "Though I'm sure you weren't her intended target."

"Ah yes," Creon turned back to regard Jocasta, "About that, my dear...would you care to explain your actions?"

"Ah...my lord," Jocasta hastily said, "There's been some...misunderstanding..."

"I know, my dear," Creon replied, "And you have made it. Did you really think I would turn my back and allow you to have a free hand in plotting against Herakles behind his back? You set a trap that turned out differently than you expected...it's too late now to play spin doctor and cover up your tracks with clever slogans..."

"Excuse me...have we come at a bad time?"

Heads turned once again to a new group that was tentatively approaching, stepping carefully over the rubble that constituted the remains of the palace throne room.

"Who are you guys?" Chalciope asked.

"Um...nobody," said a young man with a pronounced limp, rather good looking in a nondescript manner, "Just some concerned citizens and a tourist, pay us no mind, we'll just be going..."

"Not so fast," said another man in a well-made tailored chiton, "We came to see if you needed our help, Great King. When we saw that our palace was under assault and your guards had fled..."

"...We thought we'd do our patriotic duty and come to your defense," a third man tactfully cut in, "But if matters are already in hand, then we could always leave..."

"One moment," Creon said in that casual, soft-spoken way that true monarchs had to telling you that you had better obey if you knew what was good for you, "Just who are you people?"

"Who...us?" a forth man gulped, "Oh...no one special...except for him."

The "him" in question was the man with the pronounced limp, who suddenly found himself at the head of the "delegation of concerned citizens" who were now positioned tactfully behind him.

"And you are?" Creon asked of this worthy.

"Ah...my lord," the man bowed politely, "I am called Oedipus, a former resident of the city of Corinth, adopted son of King Polybus, now come on a pilgrimage to seek out my ancestral roots in the land of my birth..."

"You were originally from Thebes?" Creon asked in a peculiar manner.

"I believe so, Great King," Oedipus replied, "King Polybus has recently revealed to me that I was found as a mere infant exposed to the elements, but I was found and rescued by his wife, Periborea, who raised me as her son though I was lamed by an injury inflicted by whoever it was that had abandoned me..."

"I see..." Creon mused softly, his eyes strangely unfocused as he said, "Daughter...please corroborate something...I would like a second opinion. Do you sense what I do of this young man?"

Maegara's eyes also gained that curiously unfocused look as she stared at Oedipus for a moment, then with widened eyes she said, "He is of noble birth, Daddy! In fact-!"

"That's enough," Creon smiled, "I think you've come to exactly the right place, my dear boy...but, just for the record...why are you here?"

Oedipus was about to respond to this when the first citizen spoke out more brashly, "Great King, this is the man who has rid us of the curse that is the Sphinx!"

"What?" Cleo blinked, "But I...!"

"The Sphinx you say?" Creon's smile deepened, "Do go on."

"My King," Oedipus spoke before the first citizen could interrupt him once again, "It is not certain that she is dead...I only saw her go over a cliff into a ravine with another young man after she became enraged over having her riddle be solved..."

"And did you solve the riddle of this Sphinx?" Creon asked in a curious manner.

"Well...I..." Oedipus started to say when the first citizen spoke up for him, "But of course, Great King, who else could have braved the terror of the Sphinx but a man touched by the hand of the gods, for surely such a one as he, to have survive abandonment and exposure that he might come to us as a man of noble stature..."

"Just so," Creon smiled again, then added, "Just for the record, though, what was the riddle that this Sphinx used?"

"Um..." Oedipus thought for a moment then said, "I believe it went something like...what crawls on four legs in the morning walks on two legs by day and three at night..."

"That's a riddle?" the second of the accompanying citizens scratched behind his head.

"Sounds like a toughie to me," a third citizen responded.

"And the answer is?" Creon asked dramatically.

"Well...a man," Oedipus replied, "But..."

"A man?" Chalciope blinked, "How do you figure?"

"Oh, that one's easy," Hippolyta smiled, leaning over to whisper something in the ear of the Pig farmer, to which Chalciope immediately colored.

"That's the answer all right," Cleo frowned, "But he's not the one who-MMMPH!"

"Let's just keep that little bit to ourselves for now, okay?" Atalanta asked as she clamped a hand over the mouth of the startled Cleo, "Daddy's up to something...you can tell by the twinkle in his eyes."

"Yeah," Iolaus shuddered, "I haven't seen that look since he authorized that Chili bake-off on mount Thera, and we wound up blowing away a good chunk of the Minoan civilization."

"That was a gas," Atalanta agreed.

"So who was it who pulled on Dionysus's finger?" Chalciope glared in the blonde's direction.

"I see," Creon continued, ignoring these exchanges by his "children," "So, that means that you are a hero..."

"A hero?" Oedipus blinked, "Oh, no...I wouldn't say..."

"He's too modest, Great King," the first citizen spoke up again, "In fact, he would never dream of asking you to fulfill your royal decree regarding the man who freed this city of its two greatest threats, the Sphinx and the Hydra!"

"Uh...beg pardon?" Oedipus blinked.

"Royal decree," Creon stroked his beard in a thoughtful manner as if searching his memories before saying, "Ah yes...the decree that the man who freed Thebes of this threat would be given the crown and my daughter's hand in marriage. Well...I'm afraid my daughter isn't available...she's already been promised to another...but I know of another woman of noble birth who can more than suitably fulfill the terms of my royal promise...isn't that right, Dear Sister?"

It took a moment before Jocasta reacted to this with a bland, "Say what?"

"Sad to say," Creon sighed, "Her husband has recently fled the city, having been deposed for his numerous transgressions against the people of Thebes, last seen commanding a chariot on his way through the southern pass..."

"Southern pass you say?" Oedipus blinked.

"And...more unfortunate still," Creon continued, "Reports say that he met with an untimely end at the hand of some stranger at a crossroads, alas. I don't suppose you might have heard anything about that?"

"Um...crossroads?" Oedipus replied nervously, "Could you...describe her former husband?"

"Oh yes," Creon thought a moment again before saying, "Late sixties, scraggly beard, not too sharp a dresser, but his clothing is of fine make and is laced with golden thread..."

"Gold thread," Oedipus swallowed, "Ah...what style of chariot?"

"Ionian, Model 1267 Gold Gild chariot," Creon replied, "License number: IAMKING..."

"Oh," Oedipus said faintly, "A Camino...I see...not too many of those still in service, eh? Um, well...nice to meet you, Great King, but I must be..."

"FREEZE!" Hecate pronounced dramatically, and like that Oedipus and his quartet of hangers-on became like statues.

"What the heck was that all about?" asked Ithicles.

"You got me, handsome," Cleo glared at Atalanta, "What's the idea of having him think he'd killed me?"

"We'll get to that in another minute," Creon turned to the Witch Queen, "I don't suppose you know anything about this? After all, it took place at a crossroads..."

"And I am the Mistress of the Crossroads of Life and Death, eh?" Hecate smiled, "As a matter of fact, I know exactly what happened. Observe."

Another wave of her staff, another image called forth, and then they saw Oedipus climbing down from a ruined chariot, heatedly arguing with another man in a different chariot...a 1267 model Camino, to be exact. The old man in the other chariot was furious, waving his chariot whip and crying out, "What's the matter with you, you young fool? Didn't you see me rounding that bend in the road?"

"Now see here," replied Oedipus, "It's a public thoroughfare, more than wide enough to accommodate traffic in two directions. There was no need for you to come barreling around at such a reckless speed without looking where you were going..."

"Don't give me any lip, you insolent whippersnapper!" the old man shook his whip in a threatening manner, "You should show respect to your elders, not block the road when a man is in a hurry to get some place..."

"And where would that be?" Oedipus asked in a reasonable tone of voice, "Surely this late in the day you could try moving a bit more carefully. The ground here is rather unsteady and a fellow could take a nasty fall if he rides his horse off the road..."

"Don't you tell me what to do!" the old man angrily declared, "They thought they could throw me out of my own place, but I'll be back, you'll see, and I'll avenge these wrongs, and when I do...!"

"When you do, I'm quite certain you will be a royal terror to the folks in your home," Oedipus replied, "But I would like to be on my way into town before it gets dark, so why don't we just agree to call it even and go our separate ways..."

Instead of this most reasonable proposal the older man cracked his whip at Oedipus, who managed to duck under the lash as it wrapped itself around the rail-bar of his own more modest chariot, giving Oedipus a chance to grip it firmly in his hand and prevent its retrieval.

"Now see here," he said, "That was a bit excessive, don't you think?"

Instead the old man drew a short sword from his belt and snarled, "I may have lost my home, my wife, my kingdom and my dignity, but I haven't lost my pride, and I'll be hanged if I'll let one more of you young upstarts take that away from me!"

"Uh-just a moment!" Oedipus made a deflecting gesture as he backed away from the threat of the short sword, "There's really no call for that-WHOOPS!"

As fate would have it the younger man tripped backing up out of the way of the lunge of the older man, whose own momentum could not be checked as he stumbled in turn over Oedipus and went tumbling over the edge of the road, off into the ravine to the sound of a very loud scream. Oedipus was hugging his face as though fearing the inevitable when this happened, but when he looked up the old man was not to be found, only the sound of a choked off scream that broke off rather suddenly and was not henceforth repeated.

"Um...excuse me?" Oedipus asked as he looked around, finding no trace of the old man, and laying in such a position that the acoustics were too poor for him to make out much of that aforementioned scream, "Old man? Are you there? That's odd...where did he go...?"

It took a full minute for the young man to figure out just what had happened, at which point he decided to make himself scarce by driving off his damaged chariot, hoping to at least find shelter where it might be prepared before nightfall. Hecate banished the image then smiled at Lord Creon and said, "Is this what you were expecting?"

"Yes," Creon nodded, "Exactly."

"Father," Maegara spoke up without leaving the side of the still-unconscious Herakles, "That was his own father who tripped over him and fell to his death..."

"Yes," Creon replied, "I know. A regrettable accident, but a technicality in the eyes of the Furies. I see the hands of the Fates in this...the youth here is intended to return in glory to his native Kingdom to take up the mantle as the Prince of this, his ancestral city."

"But Ithicles is the rightful Prince of this city!" Maegara protested, "And Herakles..."

"Is the second born child," Hippolyta finished for her, "Which makes him third in line for the throne, if what we have just seen here is to be relied upon...and I, for one, trust the Goddess in her visions."

"Flattery will get you somewhere," Hecate smiled, "But what matters is that this boy is technically guilty for the accidental death of his own father...a father who abandoned him to die of exposure, and deliberately stuck a needles in both of his ankles just to make certain."

"Yikes!" Antiope winced, "Why did he do that?"

"Because of a prophesy which claimed that the son would be responsible for the death of his father," Hecate replied, "Which neatly rounds out the sort of poetic irony that the Fates usually specialize in...however...there is one other provision of their prophesy which states that the boy is fated to marry his own mother...Jocasta."

"WHAT?" Jocasta herself reacted, "No way! Not even if-!"

"You heard what she said," Creon replied without glancing at his "sister," "The Fates have already decreed it, and so have I. You will marry him and take him for your husband..."

"What-?" Jocasta gasped, "Are you insane?"

"Yeah, Daddy," Atalanta reacted, "Even for me that's going a big overboard..."

"...And then you will abandon this body and leave it without memories of your having ever been present," Creon continued, "Just as I will abandon this body and return to Olympus. You have done quite enough meddling for one day, my dear...you can pick another Avatar at another time...AFTER you and I have settled a few matters concerning what you intended to do to Herakles and his brother."

"Dad?" Iolaus asked, "Are you sure about this?"

"The boy is not to blame for what the Fates have done with him," Creon replied, "Let him have his time in the sun until his tale has run its course. Thebes must have a new King, and Creon is determined to step down just as soon as he can find a successor. Ithicles would be a logical candidate, but his birthright would be difficult to prove at the present. Herakles could easily be king in his place, but..."

"But that would mean setting down roots here on Earth and abandoning the quest of the Twelve Labors," Hecate concluded for him, "Of course, sooner or later, young Oedipus must learn the truth about his life..."

"If so, then I do not envy him this knowledge," Creon replied, "He seems a fair enough lad, such news could well break him. I would that there is another way, but..."

"But you don't write the drama, do you, Grandfather?" Hippolyta replied, "You only occasionally make the odd notation to the rough draft."

"Well said indeed," Creon nodded, "As for the other matter..."

"Ugh...maybe you should ask me about that, Dad," Herakles said as he stirred on Maegara's lap, sitting up with great deliberation.

"Herk...you're all right?" Iolaus asked.

"Yeah...just peachy," Herakles growled, "If you don't mind me saying I feel like I just went five rounds with a Cyclopes..."

"How much did you overhear?" Hippolyta asked.

"Got the gist of the last minute or two," Herakles flexed his massive shoulders then said, "Dad...is that really your idea of justice? What you got planned for this poor guy..."

"You don't approve," Creon said without intending it as a question, "Can't say that I blame you, Son. I wouldn't wish a fate like that on my own worst enemy, if I hadn't already locked up all of my worst enemies down in Tartarus."

"Herakles...you had better take a few minutes before you try to stand," Maegara advised.

"Thanks, but the day I can't stand on my own two feet..." Herakles started to say when he tried to get to his feet, only to land back on his rump a few seconds alter, "Um...well...maybe another minute or two will help the room to stop spinning..."

"Lord Zeus," Ithicles spoke up, "I would not wish to contradict your judgement, but...why must I yield my claim to the throne of Thebes to the likes of this man?"

"Take a good look around you, Boy," Creon responded, "Do you really want to take charge of this place while it looks like a sty?"

The giant boar, Eurypylus, gave a sharp "Bwe!" of protest to that remark.

"No offense intended," Creon amended, and the boar at once subsided.

"Um...well..." Ithicles looked around at the ruins of the palace.

"Well, I don't know," Cleo remarked, "A little housecleaning, some brick and mortar, a few hieroglyphics on the walls and the place could look like home...or a tomb, anyway..."

"Okay," Herakles said, "So we made a mess of the place. I say that obligates us to clean the place up..."

"Maybe another time," Hecate smiled, "But you have another Quest to fulfill, and now that you have acquitted yourself of your second challenge..."

"Whoah," Herakles said, "Second challenge?"

"The first was the Hydra," the Witch Goddess replied, "The second was your step-  
mother's attempt to poison you. You have gathered together a loyal party of friends, suitors and kinsfolk who have demonstrated their willingness to stand beside you and defend your welfare. You are now prepared to go out on the open road and face your third important challenge...the Hind of Ceryneia."

"The Hind of what?" Herakles repeated.

"Is that like Hind as in backside?" Atalanta asked, "Or Hind as in four footed were-dear with golden horns and a really nice tail...?"

"HEY!" Chalciope protested, "I know that Hind...that's one of my friends!"

"Nevertheless," Hecate continued, "You must bring the Hind alive to the court of Mycenea and present it as an offering to King Eurystheus, your cousin to the far south..."

"Eurystheus?" Herakles winced, "You gotta be kidding!"

"I only kid when I help a female goat to deliver," Hecate assured him, "You are then to present yourself in the employment of your cousin, promising to do for him a year of loyal service while I call upon you to perform the rest of your remaining nine labors."

"Put myself in the employ of that wimp?" Herakles bristled, "No way, lady! Uh-  
uh! I won't do it..."

"If you refuse then you will never have your curse lifted," Hecate replied calmly.

"...!" Herakles blinked, then he scowled mightily and growled, "All right...I'll do it..."

"There is one more thing to add to this," Hecate continued, "Maegara...that is to say, the present incarnation of Athena...has demonstrated loyalty and devotion to her brother and has earned the right to marry him, within the terms of our previously stated agreement."

"WHAT?" this proclamation surprised both Hippolyta and Atalanta, while Chalciope just blinked in astonishment at hearing such an unexpected declaration.

"I agree," Creon nodded, "Athena has first right to become the wife of Herakles. I will even implant the memory into my present host's mind that he has given his daughter in marriage to a mighty hero worthy of great honor."

"Uh...huh?" Herakles replied, "Say what?"

"I...you mean...he and I...but why?" Maegara asked of the goddess.

"You are goddess of Wisdom," Hecate smiled, "You figure it out. As for the other suitors...the game is still on for you all. Hippolyta also has the right to claim first wife status under the terms of an Amazon group marriage..."

"Oh..." Hippolyta blinked, "I...see...yes...well, under those terms, I suppose that I might...share..."

"You what?" Atalanta looked at her metaphorical "daughter."

"Lady Athena," Hecate continued, "Do you accept in principle your right to share Herakles in a group marriage."

"Ah...well...yes, in principle...I mean...if Herakles is all right about this..." Maegara verbally stumbled.

"And do you agree to accept the both of them as your wives, brave hero?" Hecate turned to the stunned demigod in question.

"My...huh?" Herakles blanched.

"Say yes, you young fool," Genma whispered in his ear, "Trust me on this, Boy, your life won't be worth much if you say no to this kind of an offer..."

"As much as I hate to say it, Herk," Iolaus murmured in his other ear, "I have to agree...life would be a lot easier for you if you went along with the deal, at least until we figure out who get carried over the threshold."

"Aphrodite and Artemis are still at liberty to pursue their own suits," Hecate continued, "By the terms of an Amazon group marriage, up to four women can share a single man, provided they all abide by an agreement to treat one another as equals."

"No thanks," Chalciope sniffed, "I'll pass."

"As you will," the Goddess smiled enigmatically, "But you will still continue to accompany your brother for the remainder of his quest, if only to insure that all terms are fulfilled, by which I mean...no more attempts on your part to kill him."

"Daughter?" Creon eyed Chalciope with a questioning manner.

"Ulp," she winced, suddenly not quite so cocksure about her present situation.

"Well, what about me?" Atalanta said, "My host is also engaged to the guy, and she's not gonna want to play second fiddle to anybody!"

"Then let her decide how to deal with this in her own way," Hecate advised, "Antiope...will you also continue to petition your uncle as a co-wife in a group marriage?"

"Hmmm...I think I'll pass for now, but the idea is tempting," Antiope said, "I think I'd rather remain single for a while, just in case I meet a really cute guy along the way. Besides, I want to see Sis land her new husband..."

"Hey, wait a minute!" Herakles protested, "HUSBAND?"

"It is, of course, still your choice whether or not you wish to marry them," Hecate assured him, "But I think you would be better off agreeing to abide by them as your three fianc es...at least for the present."

"Fianc es? Dad-!" Herakles protested.

"You have the right to choose, all right, Son," Creon affirmed, "Just as long as you do what I say and marry Athena. Believe me, Boy, she's more than earned it."

"Huh?" Atalanta blinked her eyes, "What did she do to deserve that?"

"Ah..." Maegara winced slightly, not wanting to reveal the full truth within hearing of her brand new fianc .

"They all want that hunky guy?" Cleo sighed, "What a shame..." but then she glomped onto the arm of Ithicles and smiled, "But I still have you, Cute Stuff, and at least you're still single!"

"One other thing," Hecate mused, "To clarify the point...it no longer is an issue who Herakles chooses to marry, just so long as he honors and respects the woman or women whom he chooses. To that end, I would recommend that he not wait around too long before trying them out to learn if they are compatible or to his liking..."

"Try them out?" Herakles repeated.

"She means Sex, dummy," Iolaus stage-whispered.

"Oh," Herakles blinked then started, "SEX?"

"Don't worry, Husband," Hippolyta smiled, "I have lots of experience, and I'll be happy to lead you through it."

"And what she doesn't know, I can teach you," Atalanta grinned, "And that goes double for you, Sis...you're not exactly the one with a thousand notches in her garter belt, y'know..."

"I...what?" Maegara blinked, looking just as stunned as Herakles himself at that particular moment.

"HELP!" Herakles cried out, wondering if fainting would be a good career option...

"Herakles?" Maegara's words stirred him from his reveries of the moment.

"Yeah...?" he stopped himself from calling her "Sis," finding the word did not exactly help his mood as they trudged away into the night together.

"For what it's worth," she said, "I do want to marry you...but only if you want me. I would never force you into anything, let alone a...situation as delicate as this..."

"Yeah," Herakles said in a husky voice, not bothering to elaborate.

"Why so shy, Auntie?" Hippolyta smiled, "Why not tell him that you love him and want to be his love tool, just like Mother here?"

"Bite me, Kid," Atalanta smiled back at her metaphorical "daughter."

"I still don't see why I have to be a part of this," Chalciope griped, "Or why Hecate wants you to go picking on one of my friends..."

"Not my idea," Herakles grunted, "Feel free to take off anytime you like, Sis."

"I'm just wondering something," Antiope remarked, "Are we gonna be walking on foot all the way to Mycenea?"

"Well," Hippolyta remarked, as she patted the mare trotting along at her side, "I did bring my own horse, and you're welcome to ride her if your feet become too tired, little Sister..."

"Oh, I wasn't worrying about me," Antiope assured, "I just thought we could save more time if we all had horses...um...do you hear something?"

"Hmm?" Chalciope blinked, glancing back over her shoulder.

"I hear it too," Cleo remarked, "Do you hear it, Handsome?"

"I do," Ithicles remarked, "Sounds like...chariot wheels?"

"Yes," Genma replied, "And coming this way at a good clip."

"What do you think?" Atalanta fingered her war-hammer, "Could be trouble?"

"Maybe not," Herakles replied, "But just in case, everybody stand ready..."

"Wait!" Hippolyta urged, "I think I almost recognize that driver...but...?"

All at once a large chariot came riding up, one drawn by four horses rather than the usual one or two, a fancy looking chariot that appeared to have surprisingly good suspension.

But the surprising thing about it was not the chariot itself (though it most certainly WAS impressive) but rather the driver...a woman in a long dress bound by a clasp to one shoulder with a heavy riding cloak across her slender backside. She was tall and willowy with a very nice build, rangy yet unmistakably feminine, and with long chestnut colored hair that flowed about her shoulders, blending in with the night itself.

She expertly pulled the chariot up just short of their group then called out to them, "Oh my...I've finally managed to catch up with you. I had a bit of a time finding out where you had gone to..."

"S-Sis?" Chalciope blinked, "Is that you, Hebe?"

"Deianeira of Calydon," she responded, "Daughter of King Oeneus...but you may call me Hebe if you wish it, Sisters."

"Hebe?" Herakles blinked his eyes, "Is...that really you, Sister?"

"Oh my," Deianeira replied, "I suppose that all depends on what you mean by me...I have the memories of my host body...a very interesting woman, she has led a most active and interesting life for a princess..."

"Lucky you," Maegara complained, not wanting to add that she was still feeling a bit footsore in her newly acquired mortal body (she really had to work harder on toughening it up in some ways...)

"It's not that we're not glad to see you, Sister dear," Iolaus remarked, "And don't misunderstand me for asking this, but...what are you doing here?"

"Why," it was a little hard to see it in the dark, but Deianeira gave the impression of deeply blushing as she replied, "I'm here to partake in our little contest, Sisters dear...and to provide you with something I thought you could find practical...transportation."

"You mean...the chariot?" Herakles blinked.

"It belongs to my host," she replied, "Among her many skills she is a very fine charioteer, and there is room enough here to carry as many as six people."

"Well now," Atalanta smiled, "Isn't that just too convenient?"

"Six people, huh?" Herakles did a quick head count, "Well...counting you, there are about eleven of us by my reckoning..."

"Don't worry about me, Husband," Hippolyta smiled, indicating her War Mare, "I have my own transportation in hand..."

"And I can ride double with her if I get too tired," Antiope cheerfully remarked.

"Don't go to any trouble on my account," Chalciope huffed, "I prefer going on my own two legs, and if I ever get tired I can always hitch a ride with Eurypylus."

The giant boar grunted his assent to that notion.

"That leaves eight of us," Atalanta remarked, "Anybody want to take turns walking?"

"Oh, don't worry about me," Cleo smiled, shifting her body into her intermediate Sphinx mode, "I can manage my own way, and if Handsome here gets to ride anybody, you can bet it's going to be me."

"Huh?" Ithicles replied with a somewhat surprised expression.

"Aw, don't worry about it," Herakles smiled, "Uncle Genma can handle the walking part himself, right Pops?"

"Eh?" Genma replied, looking somewhat nonplussed at the suggestion.

"In which case," Iolaus turned to Maegara, "Might I suggest that you be the first one to ride in back, Sister dear? You may be trying to hide it, but I can tell that you are not enjoying the trek in your present condition."

"Eh?" Maegara replied with a guilty start, "Well...oooh!" she exclaimed as Herakles suddenly picked her up and carried her over to the chariot and set her down next to Deianeira.

"I can handle the walking part myself for now," Herakles told her, "But you need a rest, Sis...and don't argue with me about it, okay?"

Maegara suddenly felt her cheeks flush crimson, though in the dark only Deianeira was close enough to notice.

"I'll scout on ahead and find us a place that can serve for a night's lodgings," Iolaus volunteered, smiling as he could sense the potently confused and erotic thoughts that were flowing through the mind of his normally ethereal sister.

"No, I'll do that," Chalciope said tiredly, "The night is my element and I can see in the dark almost as good as by day..." she suddenly stumbled and fell into a ditch, causing everyone to turn and look in the direction of where she had been standing.

"Sis?" Herakles asked.

"NOT ONE WORD...NOT ONE WORD ABOUT IT, YOU HEAR ME?" Chalciope called out from her crestfallen position.

"Guess that means we really are on our way, huh?" Atalanta mused as she climbed into the chariot beside her other two sisters.

"We are indeed," Deianeira replied, "Shall we be off, Brother dear?"

"I thought we already were," Herakles grumbled, but sighed as he added, "C'mon...let's find a good spot for camping...we'll talk some more about it in the mourning..."

Continued.

Comments/Criticisms/Chaotic Chronicles: shadowmane

Herakles and the gang have a chat about comparative religion while on their way to Mycenea while Zeus has a private session with Hera and Hecate, and we learn who else is on their way to become involved in the growing legend of a great hero. Be with us next time for: "Theseus and Thesaurus," or "How to Bury a Millionaire (in Egypt)." Be there!

X -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

If you wish to check out my other works, Please check out my Fanfiction webpage at: . All related chapters of this series can be found there along with my other works. 


	11. Chapter 11

Hercules11

Hercules 1/2

"GENMA SAOTOME'S TIME AND SPACE MISADVENTURES!"

by Jim Robert Bader

(Inspired by the works of Rumiko Takahashi,  
Euripides, Sophocles, Homer and a host of lesser Muses)

Chapter Eleven.

Bankruptcy at the Royal Court of Thebes.

LIME ALERT-HENTAI SITUATIONS AHEAD!  
CONTAINS SCENES OF A SUGGESTIVE AND SEXUALLY EXPLICIT NATURE, NOT SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN UNDER AGE (UNLESS YOU'RE GREEK, THAT IS...) YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

"There once was a fellow named Oedipus Rex,  
You may have heard about his odd complex;  
His name is found in Freud's Index because he-  
LOVED his Mother...!"

(-Tom Leer)

Palace of Thebes (Well, what's left of it anyway)-1254 BC

Oedipus blinked his eyes and glanced around, wondering why he had the peculiar sense that something very odd had just transpired around him. He turned to see King Creon experiencing a similar case of "Now what was I thinking?" and realized that he was not the only one experiencing this peculiar phenomenon.

"Ah...now where was I again?" he heard Creon asked in some confusion.

"Um...brother dear," Jocasta seemed also to be puzzled about something that she was having difficulty remembering at the moment, "Do you have any idea who made a mess of our throne room? To put it quaintly, it is looking a bit seedy..."

"Not to mention looking like it's been condemned by a slum lord," one of the followers attending to Oedipus remarked rather tartly.

"Oh...yes..." Creon seemed to notice their group at the moment, "What did you say your name was again, my good fellow?"

"Oedipus, Sire," Oedipus replied politely.

"The slayer of the Hydra and Sphinx!" the first citizen hovering by Oedipus's elbow added as a rather helpful reminder.

"Now see here," Oedipus turned around, "There's no need for you to exaggerate..."

"You slew the Sphinx and the Hydra?" Creon gasped with an incredulous expression.

"Um...I never quite said that I..." Oedipus tried to explain, but again the first citizen was quick to contradict him.

"He is the savior of Thebes, great king! A son of the house of King Polybus of Corinth, and by right of his heroic actions our new King of the Theban court by the noble decree of your grace..."

"King?" Oedipus blinked, "But...!"

"Oh yes, I did say that I'd give up the crown to the man who could free Thebes of it's many problems," Creon nodded, "Well, if you want the job, it's yours. I never liked politics...a good military man like me should have stuck to what he knew. I simply can't handle all the paperwork...and I can't even read my own name! Can you read letters, my good fellow?"

"Well...yes...I can read..." Oedipus said modestly, not bothering to add that he was something of a scholar by heart, able to function in three dialects and could even translate cuneiform and Hieroglyphics. He had studied architecture and engineering along with law and philosophy, all disciplines that had endeared him to his adopted mother and made him the object of scorn and despair to his father, the more so since Oedipus's foot injuries had all but ruled out a term of military service.

"Good!" Creon declared, "Then you can also marry my sister, who had so recently and unfortunately become a widow..."

"I am?" Jocasta blinked, "Oh...yes...now I remember...my husband fell into a ravine...how tragic..."

"M-M-Marriage?" Oedipus stuttered, "But...this is so sudden..."

"I know that it's a lot to take upon your shoulders all at once, Son," Creon said in a kindly manner, patting Oedipus upon the shoulder, "But just look at her and tell me that you could turn down an offer this good."

"Eh?" Oedipus stared at the woman at Creon's side, seeing a stunning beauty in the full flower of womanly youth and grace, looking more like the older man's daughter than his sister and certainly quite the spectacle if the nubile hints he saw on display beneath her chiton were any indication.

"Now then," Creon said as he turned away, "If it's all the same to you, I'm going back to the part of the palace that's still standing, the private wing, and I'm packing my bags and abdicating. I've got a young son to raise, and it's about time I spent some quality time with the lad...and I have this peculiar urge to go visit a place called Bermuda...you wouldn't happen to know where that was, would you?"

"Not in the least," Oedipus replied with a shake of his head, "But...abdicating? Isn't that a little extreme...?"

"Can't have two kings ruling at the same time, Boy," Creon smiled, "From this moment on I'm officially retired. It's yours with my blessings...treat the Kingdom well and don't raise the taxes too high. The folks here just got done kicking out one sovereign, no need to give them ideas about repeating the process."

"But I...what?" Oedipus blinked as Creon turned and left him standing there both stunned and bewildered.

"Congratulations, My King," Jocasta bowed, "Or should I say...my new husband?"

"H-H-Husband?" Oedipus once again looked upon the dark haired beauty and swallowed.

"Well done, my King,!" the first citizen clapped him on the shoulder, "You're off to a great start! Oh, sure the place needs a bit of fixing up, but you can always hire slaves to do the cleanup. You're now in charge of our illustrious Kingdom..."

"Um...excuse me," Oedipus turned to the first citizen and said, "I never really did get your name...who are you?"

"Name's Castor," the man smiled broadly, "The Elder. My son is a young and aspiring Hero..."

"Yeah, and his brother, Pollux, helps him run an Olive Oil business, largest in the city," a second citizen pointed out.

"Yeah," a third remarked, "That's why we call him Castor the Oily, one of the richest citizens from here to Corinth..."

"And of course," Castor himself remarked, "Now that you're starting out your new administration, Great King, I'm sure you may need a little help finding out how all the ins and outs of this city work so you can start to make your mark on the population..."

"And naturally you would not mind taking up the burden yourself?" Oedipus said suspiciously, but then shrugged and said, "Fine, if you want the job of Chief Advisor, you can have it."

"Good!" Castor clapped Oedipus so hard on the back that he nearly doubled the other man over, "Then we're off to a great beginning! Just wait and see, my King, this is the start of a whole new epic page in the illustrious history of our fair city..."

"I ought to have my head examined," Oedipus sighed, glancing around at the mess before saying, "By the way...does anyone here have a broom that's handy...?"

"My dear," said Zeus to his lady-wife, "I want you to understand something..."

"YEOUCH!" Hera yelped as she felt the lashes of the enchanted leather against her naked body.

"It is not..." Zeus continued.

"YEOW!"

"...That I get off..."

"YELP!"

"...On doing this to you..."

"YOWIE!"

"...Even thought you must admit..."

"YIEEE!"

"...That you more than have it coming..."

THWACK!-"YEOW!"

"...After all, the things you did down there..."

"AREOW!"

"...Brought shame and embarrassment to Mount Olympus..."

"IEEEYAAA!"

"...To say nothing of deliberately plotting to murder my son..."

"OOOWWCHHH!"

"...And using your position to plot the death of the Princess Maegara..."

"YOOOWWW!"

"...Who now happens to be Athena incarnated..."

"AAAAHHH!"

"...And...you know something? Maybe I am enjoying this after all...what about you, Dear?"

"YIIIKKKEEESS!"

Zeus smiled as he faked another stroke of the lash, but instead of using the strips made from the tanned hide of a Griffin (Plus-Four strips, painful even on the flesh of a Goddess) to paint another pink mark on his wife's body, he instead caressed her with a hand and stroked some sensitive places, causing Hera to react with a start of unexpected sensual arousal. Dangling as she was by her wrists with her feet weighted down by cold iron chains connected to lead anchors, she could do nothing but shudder slightly as conflicting sensations of pleasure and pain ran up through her divine nervous system and transformed her torment into a kind of deliciously perverse pleasure.

A rapping on the door to the dungeon-like chamber caused Zeus to turn around and say, "Yes, what is it?"

"Dad?" Hephaestus peeked his head in through the door, "Are you and Mom going to be in there for a while longer? I sort-of had the place reserved in advance by some guests from Phrygia..."

"Tell them I'll be here for another few hours, Son," Zeus smiled, "And by the way...excellent work converting this into a pleasure chamber. I never knew that punishing someone could be such a naughty enjoyment..."

"Yes...well...we seldom have any complaints about the accommodations," Hephaestus shrugged, "I'll have them rescheduled for Chamber Number Four. You and Mom have a great time in here, and don't hesitate to ask for assistance from one of the staff Gnomes if you need anything special."

"Good lad," Zeus smiled, "Now run along. Your mother and I have a lot to discuss together, and there's no sense putting a premium on quality time in a marriage...don't you agree, my Dear?"

"Zeus," Hera growled between clenched teeth, "If you think I'm going to forget this humiliation...OOOHHH!"

"Humiliation is only a part of the deal," Zeus leered as he stroked his hand between the parted thighs of the Queen of Heaven, "You're long overdue learning some respect for me and the rest of our extended family. You don't really think that you can just do as you will on Earth without paying a price, do you? And-  
-son that he is of ours-(takes after his father, don't you know), bless me if Hephaestus hasn't given us both the perfect way to return some of the long-lost spice to our marriage. We're going to have a long and productive chat on the subject of what you have done over the centuries to the various women-and their offspring-whom you have repeatedly tormented..."

"Women you seduced by your lust," Hera growled in smoldering outrage, "I'm the wronged party here...you have no right to...toooo...TOOOOOOOOooouuu!"

"Ah, you like that, do you?" Zeus smiled fondly as he ran his hands over the pink-striped areas that he had so recently tanned on her body, "In all fairness, I suppose I do deserve some criticism for being a bit remiss in respecting our marriage vows...but you're as much to blame for this...you were the one who kicked me out of our marriage bed almost two thousand years ago!"

"Because you were running around chasing after that floozy..." Hera grit her teeth as she shuddered once again as strange sensations ran the length of her upper and lower body.

"Details...a man has needs," Zeus replied, "Besides, you can't exactly claim innocence about fidelity...I am well aware that you have had your share of flings over the years. But I'm not here to belabor the obvious merits-or lack of same-that could be argued on both sides of this issue...I am here to let you know that it is a whole new ballgame. The old rules no longer apply...it is a new era we are moving towards, and it is long since time that you got on with the program and stop making ancient history your lifelong obsession..."

Hera tried to hold out against the relentless pleasuring that was assaulting her nervous system, but her body rebelliously started to moisten and squirm with an incredible sense of arousal.

"Making progress in convincing her, Lord Zeus?" Hecate asked as she seemed to flow out of the shadows, manifesting in her young and beautiful incarnation, dressed in a gown that was virtually see-through.

"Somewhat," Zeus smiled, turning to favor the Witch Queen with a smoldering expression, "You're late this time..."

"What is she doing here?" Hera growled, despite the fact that she was squirming with arousal.

"That should obvious," Zeus replied, "I invited her to join us."

"You WHAT?" Hera reacted.

"Lord Zeus and I have-upon close discussion of the pertinent details-formed a tentative alliance based on needs and mutual understanding," Hecaate explained, "I have made him aware of the true reasons why I have been involving myself so much in his son's life, and he has agreed to cooperate with me...in exchange for...certain concessions."

"You mean you're going to sleep with him?" Hera gasped, "With my husband?"

"Don't act so shocked, my dear," Zeus replied, "You know that I've been interested in her for ages."

"My apologies if this should seem somewhat shocking to you, Queen of Olympus," Hecate replied, "But I do what I must do out of need, as well as from a proper consideration of your husband's manly virtues. There is more at stake here than you know, more than Herakles knows or any of your children. It may seem to you that I am yielding to temptation, but know that a greater good will be served by our actions."

"Yes, yes, all for the greater good and all that," Zeus replied, "We must make what sacrifices are called upon us by the Fates, yes?"

"Indeed," Hecate agreed with a smile, "And I assure you that I will enjoy this every bit as much as you, Lord Zeus. But before you condemn me for my actions, Lady Hera, there is something which you must know...the reason why Herakles is of vital importance to the survival of Mount Olympus."

"Do you think anything which you might say will matter to me in the least?" Hera smoldered, only to blink in surprise as she saw Hecate approach her, "W-W-What are you...?"

"Doing?" Hecate replied as she brought her face near to the dangling Hera, "I am saving us all, of course. You do not realize the danger that confronts our world, the future that could consume us all if allowed to progress unaltered. There is a storm coming to sweep the world into a new era of darkness, a terrible storm brought about by one born of Olympus...a storm which can only be averted by another from Olympus, and that is the reason why Herakles must live and prosper on his adventures."

"Storm?" Hera blinked nervously, "What storm? What are you...MMMPPPH?" she gasped in amazement as Hecate kissed her full on the lips, then gently caressed her body with sensitive fingers that eased her wounds and soothed her throbbing nerves.

"I'll tell you all about it...in good time...but not right now," Hecate said as she broke the kiss and turned to regard Lord Zeus, "I am ready to fulfill my part in our agreement, my Lord."

"Good," Zeus smiled, "And no cheating by assuming your old Crone or Middle Aged act either!"

"I will not renege on our bargain," Hecate assured him, spreading her arms to the side as her dress fell from her body, revealing her naked glory to the hungry gaze of the Lord of Olympus, "For the next hour or so I am yours to do with as you desire. How best may I please you, my King?"

Hera stared with round-eyed fascination, amazed that anyone-let alone the aloof and mysterious Hecate-would make such an offer to her amorous husband. Nor was Zeus long in expressing his desires, reaching out to embrace the willowy Witch Goddess as he pressed his lips to hers with intense hunger, a passion and desire so great that even Hera felt aroused just being in its presence...and for the moment-if only for the moment-she forgot her normal jealousy and watched in amazement as her husband went to work laying claim to the body and soul of the former Titaness, who kissed Zeus back as though yielding herself to her own enigmatic desires...

Getting the campfire going was a relatively easy task for Herakles, who had mastered the art as key part of his martial arts training. He would simply take a length of wood and rub it rapidly between his fingers until it burst into flame from the heat of intense friction, at which point he would then use it to light the dried brush and dead twigs that had been gathered at the base of their campfire, and in minutes have it so warm and toasty that everyone in their camp could gather around the fire and keep warm against even the most turbulent of late seasonal winds blowing down from the far north.

Even so, Maegara took the excuse as a good enough justification for her to lean her body up against his, encouraging him to place a brawny arm about her shoulder as an oddly protective and intimate gesture. None of the others who sat around the camp made any objections about this show of blatant favoritism, not even Atalanta, who kept scowling tartly in Herakles's direction.

Privately Herakles was glad for the company, and the silent resolution from everyone to play nice for the moment. He was in no mood for any unpleasantness and just wanted a moment to think to himself, which Maegara seemed more than happy to allow him. She was a really nice girl, easy to get along with, and so smart...of course, that was because Athena was in her at the moment...the real Maegara? He was none too sure about that...but Athena...she was very nice...very nice indeed, in fact...

He swallowed, realizing that his thoughts were starting to drift in a certain direction. The fact that the girl (or Athena, depending on how you looked at it) was now his official fianc e meant that there were no technical reasons why he should feel uncomfortable about being in her presence...but the truth was that he was feeling a certain...uncomfortable rise...from beneath his loin cloth and hoped that his redheaded companion would not notice...or at least give him a chance to explain himself before calling him perverted.

"Herakles?" she softly asked, startling him out of his nervous and aroused state.

"Yeah?" he asked a bit gruffly.

"Do you mind the fact that both Daddy and Hecate agree that we can get married?"

She had to ask him the tough ones! Brainy she might be, but at times like this she could seem like a nervous schoolgirl, one who needed some reassurance.

"I don't mind being with you," Herakles said honestly, "But...you're right...it seems a little weird, the two of them agreeing like that. I mean...I thought she was out to get me to marry Hippolyta here, but now I'm expected to marry the both of you?"

"It might mean a bit of an adjustment, having to share you with my niece and all that," Maegara replied, "But I think that I could manage. You might have a time of it, though...you didn't seem too keen on her ideas about marriage."

"Should I be?" Herakles gave the silent Hippolyta a wary appraisal, "Sure, she's good looking, and a heck of an athlete, but...no offense...I'm not keen about playing second fiddle to any woman."

"Not even me?" Maegara's tone was gentle, teasing, but just a little bit curious.

"Hey, you're older than me and you obviously know a lot more about stuff," he replied, "But I just don't see you as the type who'd try and boss me around. With you...I dunno...it just feels kinda natural, like traveling with a buddy..."

"A buddy?" Maegara arched her eyebrows.

"Uh...I mean...in a girly kind of way," Herakles lamely elaborated, "I mean...no way I'd ever mistake you for a guy...I-uh...well...that is..."

"Hmmm," Maegara eyed him critically, "What say we put this resolution of yours to the test."

"Huh?" Herakles said, "What do you-URK!" he gasped as she slid her hand down beneath his loin cloth and did a quick inspection, at which point he saw her eyes get a little bit rounder.

"Oh my..." she said after a moment, her hand exploring him as though testing the pommel grip of a sword, "That's...a mighty impressive weapon you have there...very...Herakulean..."

"Herakulean?" Atalanta replied archly as she stopped pretending to ignore what was going on just a few feet away from her own person.

"Oh my," said Deianeira, who was just then tending to the fire, "Should you be doing that with him in front of others like that, Sister? It doesn't seem...proper..."

"I see nothing wrong with it," Hippolyta remarked, "I admit that I've been curious enough to want to try that myself for the past few hours, and it should have been obvious to a blind pig that you've been nursing a stiff rod in silence for the past hour, Husband."

"Do you guys mind?" Chalciope asked as she kept one hand firmly between her face and what was going on with Herakles and her fellow Avataric sisters, "I'm trying not to toss my cookies here. If you're gonna be pawing the guy, at least take him somewhere else and screw him, don't make me have to watch it."

"Don't mind her," Antiope smiled, "Go right ahead and have fun. I wouldn't mind watching if you want to take turns screwing Herakles. Um...just how big is he down there anyway, Auntie?"

"Big enough, I think," Maegara said as she found herself oddly reluctant about removing her hand from Herakles's loincloth, "But...I suppose a more lengthy inspection would be in order..."

Iolaus and Genma exchanged looks, the sort of looks that bachelors have when weighing the likely odds of needing to take shelter from a storm in the next few minutes. With the amount of raw Estrogen in the air that each was sensing, there was a strong likelihood of a catfight breaking out at any moment.

The only other man present, Ithicles, was staring at his half-brother with a faintly clueless expression. Cleo the Sphinx (who was firmly snuggled in close by his side) just watched the Avatars hovering near to the other Bo-Hunk as though they were circling Cats sizing up their dinner...and analogy that brought a fond smile to her own exotic features.

"Indeed?" Hippolyta asked with deceptive casualness in tone and expression, "Well, if you feel the need to conduct this inspection, by all means do so. After all, you have my permission, just so long as I get to watch."

"Me too," Atalanta grinned eagerly, her expression unmistakably that of Aphrodite.

"Ah..." Herakles found himself in a bit of a quandary...on the one hand not wanting to offend anyone (ESPECIALLY if she was BOTH a SISTER AND A GODDESS) but also feeling the urge to put a stop to matters before they spiraled completely beyond his ability to manage. On the one hand it did feel oddly...NICE...the way Maegara's fingers played about his stiff-as-iron member, on the other hand, having an audience (especially ones who all shared a collective hunger in their eyes) like this around him was definitely not conducive to the nerves and suggested that he might well be playing with fire if he allowed things to progress any further.

But Maegara reluctantly let him go and withdrew her hand from his loincloth, "Perhaps...a bit later...after all...we're all tired and in need of rest, and with this excellent meal that you have provided for us, Sister..."

"Oh, it was no trouble at all," Deianeira assured them, "It's rather nice traveling on the open road with the rest of you, Sisters...almost like being on field trip together..."

"Oh yeah," Chalciope grumbled, "Just one big happy family, that's us..."

"I'm not too tired," Antiope spoke up with a hand raised as if seeking attention, "Go right ahead and play with him if you want to, Auntie. I'd love to watch..."

"This we know about you, Little Sister," Hippolyta softly chuckled, "But I fear we are embarrassing my husband with all this attention. Clearly he is not accustomed to spending this much time around women...is that not correct, Husband?"

Herakles winced slightly at her persistence in calling him that, "I can't say that I've done much socializing over the last ten years, no...but I've been in training ever since I was little..."

"Training to be a great warrior, yes," Hippolyta smiled, "But there are different forms of training in which to be schooled...for example...Antiope, my sister?"

"Yeah?" the cheerful blonde Amazon responded, only to find herself gathered up into the arms of her dark-haired older sibling as Hippolyta gently drew her closer and then planted a kiss upon her mouth that was warm, affectionate and very, very arousing.

Antiope was most certainly surprised by the gesture, but not unpleasantly so. She had not guessed that Hippy was in the mood for a bit of fun, but if she wanted to make out by a romantic campfire, then Antiope certainly had no objections about returning the favor, kissing back with equally enthusiastic ardor as her hands slipped round her older sister's waist and the two of them meshed tongues in a bit of sisterly mouth-wrestling while inclining their bodies that much closer together.

Dead silence from around the camp as Chalciope sat up and watched this display of sisterly "affection" while Herakles and the others looked on with expressions that ranged from shock to amusement. Atalanta and Cleo were both wearing grins, Maegara's eyes were no less round than that of Herakles or his own half-brother. Deianeira seemed somewhat more confused in her expression, caught between fascination and disapproval, while Genma and Iolaus both looked stunned at the casual way in which the Amazons embraced one another, making it seem almost as if the slight barrier of clothing could hardly prevent them from going at it with complete and total abandon.

"Whoah..." Herakles softly exclaimed with the same kind of look that he had worn when Hermes had introduced him to his first "Men's Club" back on Olympus.

Hippolyta gently broke off her kiss and smiled at him without removing her arms from Antiope, "Pay attention, Husband...the first act of properly bedding a woman involves kissing her in such a way that she is left in no doubt of your intentions. Foreplay is very important, you see, and when going down on a woman you must be certain that she responds willingly with to your advances...all the better to move gradually down from a simple kiss to far more intimate exchanges."

"Uh...couldn't you just give me a scroll and let me study this on my own time?" Herakles asked weakly.

"Now, now," Hippolyta chided, "The one thing you must never do is disappoint your lady companion. You must show her the worship of a true devotee playing homage to the altar of her womanly joy. After all, you don't want to disappoint Aunt Athena when she is this aroused by your manly presence, do you? For example...allow me to demonstrate...Sister dear?"

"Hah?" Maegara asked faintly, surprised to be verbally drawn into this impending seduction of an all-too-willing Antiope.

Antiope just smiled and undid the metal clasp to her tunic, allowing one shoulder to be left bare as Hippolyta bent down and planted yet another kiss, this time going from cheek to neck to upper shoulder, slowly traveling down until she bared a breast to full disclosure, fondling it with a hand before bringing her mouth into play and encircling the nipple. At this Antiope gave a soft intake of breath and rolled back her head with eyes turned towards the starry sky far above them.

A loud snapping noise broke the spell of the moment and all heads turned in Chalciope's direction. She seemed no less surprised as she glanced down and found that she had broken an inch-thick wooden branch between her fingers while preparing to feed it to the campfire. She had been focusing on the activities of the two Amazons to the exclusion of all else and now had a sheepish expression as she realized how foolish she must have looked at that particular moment.

"Um...sorry..." she said weakly.

Cleo just yawned and stretched herself (to very eye-popping effect as Ithicles swerved his own eyes to stare down at her chest-level), "Yeah, foreplay's the best, no doubt about it, but don't forget the one thing you ladies are missing...and that's a good man between your legs. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy eating pussy with the best of them, but I like to have my salad with a little meat on the side, if you get what I'm saying?"

Hippolyta relented on suckling Antiope and sighed, "Perhaps it is true that the best of all worlds would be to have both a man and a woman sharing a bedding together...after all, two women plus a man can make the earth shake to the very heavens! That is why we Amazons are not complete Renunciates when it comes to men. We may not confine ourselves to the hearth and home like traditional Greek women, but we do know how to have a good time together, as you will learn in good time, sweet Husband."

"Uh...hah?" Herakles replied faintly, noticing that Antiope did not bother to re-cover her now-bared bosom, and that the imprint of a pair of lips could still be seen around her exposed nipple.

"Of course," Hippolyta gave Maegara a wry look as she added, "To have a proper marriage of two parts, one needs the right sort of feminine companion, and in that respect I can't help wondering how you will measure up, sweet Auntie..."

Maegara felt her cheeks flare crimson, and once more she shared Herakles's mixed feelings of foreboding and anticipation.

"Ah..." Iolaus managed to stir himself out of his open-mouthed daze, giving his half-brother a sympathetic nod before saying, "Sounds to me like you've got your work cut out for you, Herk..."

"Oh shut up," Herakles softly grumbled, "Um...look, uh...no offense, but...this is all kinda new to me, know what I'm saying? Things are going a little too fast for my tastes...I mean...we all just met such a short while ago and..."

"Doesn't take that long to get yourself in deep, Boy," Genma advised, "Trust me on that."

"Yeah...like I need advice from you on this one, Sensei," Herakles grumbled.

"I understand if you need more time to adjust yourself to the idea," Hippolyta replied, "But in time I think you will see that it is all for the best, Husband. It is the Amazon way, and it is a good one to my way of thinking..."

"Your way," Ithicles noted, "But shouldn't that be up to my brother?"

"Uh...look, guys," Atalanta spoke up, "It's late, we've got a lot of traveling to do, and as much as it feels weird for me to be the one saying this, maybe it's all for the best if you guys cool it a little and take your time getting to know one another, right?"

"Oh yes," Deianeira agreed, "After all, none of us have been properly married in a ceremony as yet. I just isn't right to be indulging in this sort of thing without more preparation..."

"No time like the present from where I'm sitting," Cleo mused as she leaned across Ithicles's lap.

Deianeira turned to Maegara and said, "For one thing you may need to use the right protective measures unless you want to risk getting pregnant. I understand that fish bladder works quite well, but if you want to take the minimum of chances, I could mix up a protective jelly from some ingredients which I brought with me..."

"Huh?" Maegara asked, staring blandly at her fellow Avataric sister.

"A fair point," Hippolyta stood up and stretched herself out, coyly giving Herakles a wry look as she flexed her body to good effect, "No need to rush into things right away, and since Antiope is keeping me company for the night, I think I will be extremely generous and allow you to have first crack at our Husband. Be gentle with him...it is-I think-his first time ever with a woman, and it should be a very special moment for you both...especially since it would also be the first time for you in your mortal body, Goddess. Be mindful of the hardware...it would be a shame if you should damage it before I have a chance to explore you in more detail. Of course...should anyone choose to come to me for advice, I will be more than happy to coach you..."

Maegara's eyes were as round as the proverbial saucers about this point, while Herakles once again was considering the wisdom of fainting, deciding in the end to put the suggestion off for later study.

"And then again," Hippolyta turned her gaze in the direction of Chalciope, "If anyone else should fancy joining Antiope and me during the night...we would voice no strong objections. Sister dear?"

Without a word needing to be exchanged, Antiope took Hippolyta's offered hand and allowed herself to be drawn to her feet, then together they moved off to where a bear skinned blanket had already been laid out for the both of them and without waiting around about it proceeded to strip each other of their few articles of armor and clothing.

Chalciope just remained where she was, sitting on the log, for about another minute or so before getting off and saying, "I-uh-think I'll go relieve myself in the bushes...yeah...something like that..."

No one objected to her leaving, not even Eurypylus the Boar, who was already settling down to a nice long nap (preferably as far away as he could sit with the fire positioned between him and Cleo). Of course no one was surprised either to see a shadowy form stealing up to the Amazon bed moments later, or of her being welcomed with open arms by an enthusiastic Antiope and Hippolyta.

"You'll have to excuse her, Herk," Iolaus mused after several long moments of listening to the gasps and groans emanating from that direction, "Arty's really not such a bad girl once you get to know her...if you can overlook those homicidal-misanthropic tendencies of hers..."

"I'll try and keep that in mind," Herakles turned and looked questioningly at Maegara, who stared back at him as if daring him to raise the subject.

Atalanta smiled then said, "Oh gee, look at the time, it must be nearing ten bells on the clock..."

"Nonsense, Sister," Deianeira replied, "Nine and a half bells would be more accurate, not that one can be certain without a properly timed sundial..."

Atalanta heaved a sigh and said, "Never mind, Sis, just...come over here with me for a bit, will you?"

"Come over where with-oh my..." Deianeira gasped as the blonde haired blacksmith drew her from the campfire off into the night.

Cleo smirked, hardly needing a cue to see what was in the works as she moved lithely to her feet and said, "Say, Handsome...you ever dance with the Deva by the pale moonlight?"

"Uh...no," Ithicles blinked, "Is it complicated?"

"Never mind," she grinned as she drew him to his feet with surprising strength in her slender arms, "I'll show you the moves, and I'll also introduce you to a little Egyptian custom we have in my country called Lap Dancing...trust me, you're gonna love it..."

"Uh...later, Brother!" Ithicles called back over his shoulder as he was dragged away into a more secluded alcove.

"Come on, Old Man," Iolaus said to Genma as he straightened up, "Let's go tend to the horses and see to it the wolves don't bother them before morning."

"But I'm comfortable right here by the fire..." Genma started to protest, only to find himself being dragged off by a mildly exasperated man-god, who seized him by the horns and drew him steadily away.

"Do you get the impression that they're trying to leave us alone?" Maegara asked after a moment of utter (well, RELATIVE) silence (punctuated by curious noises that sounded much as though they had come from Chalciope).

"Dunno...could be," Herakles said blandly, turning to look down again at the goddess in his arms, "Um...Sis?"

"Yes?" she asked.

"Is it true that...it would be your...first time?" Herakles gulped, wondering if he really had just said that.

Maegara colored abruptly before answering, "That's...not the sort of question a girl likes to have to answer, Herakles..."

"Yeah...forget I said that," Herakles hastily agreed, wishing fervently that he HAD NOT said it in the first place.

"...But...you are entitled to know the answer," Maegara continued, "And the answer is...no...you would not be my first time...not even my first man. That...distinction must go to brother Apollo."

Herakles was silent for a moment before he exclaimed, "APOLLO?"

"Yes," Maegara answered, not meeting his gaze for the moment.

"You had sex with HIM?" Herakles exclaimed in mingled horror and disgust, "Why?"

"Because I knew it was the only way to keep him from pestering me about it," Maegara truthfully answered, "Our Solar brother is not the type who takes 'No' for an answer, and he truly believes that he is the literal incarnation of divinity itself when it comes to the opposite sex. I knew that I would never know a moment's peace around him if I were the sole exception to his claims upon all women, so I let him think that he was having his way with me, and after he was done we politely parted as friends and went our separate ways, and he has never since bothered me for another encounter."

"You're kidding," Herakles said in disbelief, amazed that anyone would grow tired of this woman after only a single tryst.

"I kid you not," Maegara smiled, "There are only a handful of women whom brother Apollo would never think to approach with amorous intentions...one being Hera herself, I think you can see how he might find her charms somewhat less than fully appealing."

"Yeah...well..." Herakles conceded the point.

"Another is Artemis...with her he is unusually protective, and I have never seen him express a single sexual interest towards her, though he most certainly has been zealous in punishing any man who might dare to set eye upon her," Maegara explained, "With her he is an overly protective sort, even going so far on occasion as to trick Artemis into accidentally slaying the only mortal man to whom she has ever shown her favors...Orion."

"He really did that, huh?" Herakles frowned, not liking the implications of this homicidal gesture.

"Oh yes," Maegara replied, "And the irony of it is that they truly were just very good friends. Orion did care for Artemis, but she treated him like a brother...that is...a Platonic brother...hmm..." she frowned, "I'm not too sure what that expression means...something brother Hephaestus once coined, I think...""

"So this Orion guy wasn't guilty of anything but having a crush on sister Arty," Herakles sniffed, "But she's such an ardent girl-lover..."

"Exactly," Maegara replied, "Apollo has never begrudged his sister for any of the numberless women whom she has cavorted with in her time...I don't really think he finds another woman all that threatening to his concept of fidelity. However...another woman whom Apollo avoids like the very plague is Eris...I think you can see why he might find her company somewhat...toxic?"

"Yeah," Herakles agreed with a shudder, recalling the dark haired madwoman of Olympus.

"And then again, there is his sometime partner, Laurel..." Maegara began to say.

"You mean that Nymph who got turned into a tree to escape him?" Herakles asked.

"Actually, this is a different Laurel," Maegara revealed, "The daughter of the Muse, Calliope. She really Apollo's daughter, but she grew to become the Goddess of Acquisition..."

"Acquisition?" Herakles repeated.

"I believe that I just said that," Maegara smiled, "Laurel was named for the first Laurel, but she's nothing like her namesake, I'm afraid. In fact, she's a bit of a Kleptomaniac...she likes to take things that don't belong to her and give them really cute names, and she's always bothering her father about something...a bit of a featherhead, really, but an exceptionally good dancer."

"A dancer?" Herakles again repeated.

"You really must listen better so you don't have to repeat everything, Brother," Maegara teased, "Laurel dances with her father on festival occasions, they make quite a show of it, in fact...we call them the Golden Pair, and if you ever see them in action you'll know why. Sometimes they even combine Pankratia into their dance movements, such as when they want to show off at one of Ares's festival occasions..."

"So I take it he draws the line at screwing his own daughters, huh?" Herakles concluded.

"Even Apollo must draw the line somewhere," Athena mused, "Though in all truth, I don't think she's the sort of girl who would interest him even if he were inclined to screw them...and let us be up front about it, Apollo has probably fathered more children upon the mortal world than any other God alive, Daddy included. In some parts of Greece you can hardly avoid bumping into his progeny, the most famous of whom is Asclepius, the God of Healing."

"Okay," Herakles concluded, "So you slept with him. Anyone else?"

"No other men, of course," Maegara replied, "But I have...indulged in some perfectly harmless snuggling with sisters Artemis and Athena, on occasion. Why, does it matter?"

Herakles thought on that for a moment before saying, "No...I guess not. Not really...it's just...well...you've got way lots more experience than me in this, Sis..."

"I would hardly call it an astounding record," Maegara raised both eyebrows, "Amounting to perhaps as much as one tumble in the sack every two or three centuries..."

"That often, huh?" Herakles smiled, "It's just...um...well...like I said, my life's been about training...only...not THAT kind of training, know what I mean?"

"Yes," Maegara quietly answered, "But...Herakles...for what it is worth...the body I am now in has never known the touch of any man, other than her father, and I assure you that Creon most certainly was not into pedophilia...

"That's good to hear," Herakles said gruffly, then sobered, "But...what does the real Maegara have to say about it?"

"Ah...?" Maegara was suddenly put on the spot by that question, realizing that she might have to lie in order to spare the full truth from her future husband.

"I wanna know if she's okay with this," Herakles said simply, "If we're gonna be using her body...I wanna know that it's all right with her, and that she isn't just doing this because of some misguided ideas about serving the Gods and all that."

"Well..." Maegara tried to think up a good response to that, "Honestly, Herakles...you don't really think that there is a woman alive in all of Greece who would refuse you?"

"What about Artemis?" he pointed out.

"She doesn't really count," Maegara grimaced, "Besides...I know that the real Maegara wants this as badly as I do...and she's never known what sex is like before. I've even promised her that I would share the experience with her...and you don't want her to be disappointed, do you?"

She tried to put on her most charming expression, even if she had never had much practice in the arts of using her charms to influence men...that being more the province of Aphrodite. Her "cutesy" stare certainly did have an effect as she saw Herakles swallow a thick lump in his throat, but he rallied himself and said insistently, "Let me talk to her for a moment, okay? I trust you and all that, Athena, but...well...I want to see for myself what she thinks on the matter."

A sense of panic came over Maegara, but then inspiration came to her rescue and she forcibly relaxed, saying, "All right...you asked for it, Mister..."

Fortunately for her peace of mind, Athena still had access to all of Maegara's memories, and while she was now fully merged with the flesh of her former host, she had just enough talent as an actress to mimic the manner of the human girl's speech and behavior, so she pretended to be calling up the "real" Maegara from inside her, then she said in a higher-than-normal voice, "I'm here, what do you want to ask me, Lord Herakles?"

"Um...Maeg...uh...mind if I call you Meg?" Herakles asked in a somewhat uneasy manner.

"You can call me anything you like, just as long as you call me often," Maegara said with forced cheerfulness, a nearly painful smile plastered on her features.

"You do know that you're under no compulsion to go through with this," Herakles said, "No one can make you do anything if it doesn't come from within you...your own desires...right?"

"I...understand, Lord Herakles," Maegara nodded, "But it is more than an honor to be with you...it is truly a blessing. Please make me yours, I promise I'll be a dutiful wife and please you in any way I can..."

"You can please me by doing whatever you wanna do," Herakles assured her, "And please...don't call me Lord anything. I'm just Herakles...plain, old Herakles..."

"You may be many things, but plain and old? Never?" Maegara teased sweetly, "I've never been with any man before, but I want to be with you now. My father gave me to you, it's my duty to fulfill his commandment, and I want to do this...please believe me."

"I believe you feel that way now," Herakles said, "But what about later? What if it turns out to be a mistake and we're really not right for one another? What if you find some guy who means more to you than me...?"

"Please," Maegara allowed just a little of her own natural skepticism to show as she smiled, "Do you think I haven't looked around? I could search a thousand years and never find a man like you, Herakles...believe me."

"A thousand years?" Herakles blinked, "Are you sure that long?"

"Ah..." Maegara realized her verbal blunder and mentally kicked herself, but recovered at once by saying, "Lady Athena...she has memories going back a very long time...a thousand years, fifteen hundred years, two thousand years...you name it!"

"Oh," Herakles said, "Well...the point is...I want to be certain you really do understand what's involved here, because I sure don't know the first thing about it. I've never been married before..."

"They say you have to get married at least once to know that," Maegara said cheerfully, "Please, Lord Herakles-I mean-Herakles...let me find out about what life is all about with you. At least let me reward the man who has twice saved my life..."

"I don't want any reward," Herakles assured her, "I just want to be sure that this is what you want. I mean...after all...suppose I'm no good at this?"

"I'm sure we'll figure something out," Maegara reassured him back, "Give me a chance...I know you won't be disappointed."

"Weeeelll..." Herakles searched her face as if trying to determine the roots of her sincerity, then he turned away and said, "...I guess...I've got to start somewhere, right? I just don't want you thinking that I'm just using you for my pleasure..."

Maegara took advantage of his moment of inattention to vigorously massage her cheeks with both of her hands. Forcing a smile on her face like that was physically painful...in fact, this whole cutesy act was enough to make her want to stick her finger down her throat and vomit, but she meant every word of her petition, and she was hoping mightily that Herakles would be convinced by her performance.

"...Just...tell me one thing first," Herakles said as he turned back to face her.

"Yes?" once again Maegara plastered a vacant smile on her features.

"Why hasn't Dad ever tried to mess with you like Apollo?"

"Oh," Maegara shrugged, "That's easy...after his experience with my mother, I learned that Daddy doesn't much care for girls who are overly witty, so I adopted my ultra-nerdy act and would constantly bore him with useless details every time he started to look interested and..."

It belatedly occurred to her that she had just blundered badly into his verbal trap.

"Sis?" Herakles asked with a knowing expression.

"Ah..." Maegara said faintly, realizing that the proverbial jig was up.

"What happened to the real Maegara?" Herakles asked, "That's you in there talking to me, isn't that right...Athena?"

Maegara sighed and looked down, "Please don't be angry at me, Herakles...I never meant to deceive you..."

"I'm waiting for an answer," he said patiently, "What happened to the real Maegara?"

She sighed again and said, "How did you know it was me?"

"Your eyes never changed," Herakles replied, "Before, when you let her take over, I could see the difference, the way she looked like some innocent puppy willing to please everybody. She seemed like an awfully nice kid, but...well...she just wasn't you, know what I'm saying?"

Maegara had to halfway smile at him as she said, "Remind me never to underestimate your intelligence again, little Brother."

"So...what happened?" Herakles asked her, "Was it...me?"

"Yes," she replied, then hastily added, "But it wasn't your fault, it was an accident! You were possessed by the Makoken..."

"I knew that I'd hurt you," Herakles said quietly, "I just never knew until now how bad..."

"It was...bad..." Maegara swallowed, "I had to use my divine powers to repair the damage, but then Uncle Hades appeared and told me that Maegara's soul was forfeit by decree of the fates..."

"Aw no," Herakles groaned, "You mean I killed somebody? I mean...somebody who didn't deserve it?"

"Well...technically, yes..." Maegara winced, "But Hades made a deal with me that could have Maegara restored to full life if we're successful."

"How?" Herakles frowned.

"By completing our Quest of the Twelve Labors...and by marrying me," Athena replied, "Hecate spoke on my behalf and helped arrange the terms...I'm not even sure why since it seemed almost as if she wanted me to marry you, but..."

"But you should have told me," Herakles concluded.

"I..." Maegara glanced down, "I didn't want you to be burdened..."

"I'm burdened anyway," Herakles said, "I never know what happens with me when I'm under the influence of the Mako, but all of the guys I've messed up while in my berserker state had it coming...but not the Princess. She never did anything to deserve being turned into a grease smear...and I saw that mark on the wall when I was just starting to come out of it...right before it vanished..."

"I remember you were the first thing I saw when I came back inside this body," Maegara revealed, "But Herakles...I really am the Princess Maegara now. My bargain with Uncle Hades was that I take over her life while she goes to the fields of Elysium. I have to protect this body now from harm or I could wind up there myself...at least temporarily..."

"What?" he asked with a shocked expression.

"It's true," Maegara replied, "I can only regain my full goddesshood by restoring the original Maegara to full life, and to do that I have to help you complete this quest you're on. A year from now she could live again, and I'll be a goddess once more on Olympus..."

"But only if you survive," Herakles pointed out, "What happens if you get killed in that body?"

"Then...I get to know what Mortals know as death," Maegara shrugged, "At least temporarily. After a few years in the lands of Elysium I'll be allowed to come back and merge with my real self on Olympus. Gods can't really die forever, you know...our life force is very different from that of Mortals..."

"But you'll wind up in Tartarus if you get killed again in that body?" Herakles somberly noted.

"Um...I'm afraid so," Maegara responded in total candor, "It was the best that I could do on short notice...I didn't have a lot of other options when I bargained with, and I...I felt I owed it to Maegara...she really is an innocent, but she wants what I want, and if I do manage to survive..."

"You mean if you don't get killed again," Herakles persisted, only to wince as a rock suddenly bounced off the top of his head.

"You idiot!" Chalciope called out from the darkness, stomping up with a borrowed bearskin wrapped around her body, "Don't you get it? She did it for you, you big Jerk! If you don't marry her we all won't get back to Olympus!"

"Sis?" Herakles looked in surprise at the angry pig-farmer.

"She did it for you, Stupid!" Chalciope insisted, "Sis is in love with you, so show some appreciation for her sacrifice, will ya? Don't mope around like an idiot when she's practically begging you to break down and screw her!"

"Do you mind, Goddess?" Hippolyta called from somewhere in the dark.

"Yeah, it's chilly in here without that blanket!" Antiope also called out.

"I'm coming, I'm coming," Chalciope turned around and stormed back into the darkness.

Herakles continued staring where she was when he felt an arm press against his shoulder, and he turned around to see Iolaus as the latter leaned close and said, "You know, much as it pains me to say so, Sister Arty does have a point about that. You ought to stop dickering around like this, Bro, and stop tormenting Athena, to say nothing about the rest of us."

"Oh...you guys have all be listening in, huh?" Herakles lamely noted.

"We have not!" called Atalanta from somewhere else in the darkness.

"That's what I figured," Herakles sighed, turning back to Maegara before saying, "Well...if you guys don't mind, I'd like to be alone with the lady, so go on back to pretending that you're not listening in, okay?"

"Got it," Iolaus said as he patted Herakles on the shoulder, then turned and wandered back into the darkness.

Maegara continued to look at Herakles until he reached out and drew her into his arm, then hugged her to his side, not doing anything more than this besides holding her and combing through her red hair with his fingers.

"Hey Sis," he said, "Sorry about killing you back there..."

"That's all right," she said as she leaned her head against his chest, "Just don't do it again, all right?"

"You got a deal," he kissed her on the top of her head then sighed, "Don't think we can do much with all these people around, do you?"

She smiled, "You think so, eh?" she smiled, and all at once a mist flowed out to surround the both of them, cutting off all view of the world beyond the reach of their dwindling campfire.

"Wha...?" Herakles blinked as he looked around, "How...?"

"Just one of the perks of being a Goddess," Maegara replied, looking up with an imploring expression, "You were saying?"

Herakles stared at her, seeing the luminous way her eyes seemed to be searching him out, then he cupped her chin and said, "Yeah...where were we?"

He tilted her head back and brought his mouth down to hers, hesitantly at first as if uncertainly where to go from here, which is why Maegara drew him down to her and proceeded to kiss him...and then nature itself took over and one thing led to another...over and over...

Continued.

Comments/Criticism/The Ins and Outs of being a Goddess: shadowmane

Want the full Hentai version? It's Cumming-OOPS! I mean...coming (sweatdrop), followed by that previously promised debate about comparative religion (and why it's not a good idea to get into debates-otherwise known as WARS-on that subject). Be with us next time for: "From Hera to Eternity," or "I Was Looking for a Battle and a Religious Debate broke out!" Be there!

X -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

If you wish to check out my other works, Please check out my Fanfiction webpage at: . All related chapters of this series can be found there along with my other works. 


	12. Chapter 12

Hercules12

Hercules 1/2

"GENMA SAOTOME'S TIME AND SPACE MISADVENTURES!"

by Jim Robert Bader

(Inspired by the works of Rumiko Takahashi,  
with some help from a guy who really hit a Homer)

Chapter Twelve.

Mythology Lessons.

Theban Palace (The Part Still Standing)-1254 BC

Oedipus had to admit that he was feeling rather good, all other things being considered equal. Though he had not wanted the job of being the new King, he knew that he more than had the administrative skills required for the position, and a very good thing that, considering the condition that the previous occupants of the palace had left the Palace in, both physically and financially. Just examining the records taken by the court scribes alone had shown him what a mass he had to clean up here, and the picture just kept looking more and more complex the longer he studied them. The financial picture alone looked grim, and the number of people and nations to whom the Theban capitol owe money to vastly exceeded their yearly take in tax revenues and tariffs.

And yet, for all of that, Oedipus found himself enjoying the task of compiling lists and recording assets. Unlike the previous king, he could read and write in Doric and Ionian script, while his Aetolian was excellent, and he could even manage some Hittite and Phoenician. All of this was needful to make sense of the vast array of documents and texts produced by the scribes when he had requested that he be given all that was in their possession. No doubt they thought to overwhelm him with too much paperwork, a mistake his tutors back in Corinth could have warned them about since he had always been a voracious reader. Being too lame to spend much time in physical pursuits, like his peers, he had honed his intellect like a well-worked muscle and he understood the real working of power after having grown up watching the operations of the Corinthian palace. As such there was little that the scribes could to present him that was beyond his ability to handle. This sort of thing was meat and drink for him, and once he found the basic roots of the problem he understood just how the Kingdom had gotten itself into such a deplorable condition.

Simply put the place was in a wreck because the people who had ruled as Kings had not the slightest idea of what it meant to rule a Kingdom. Electryon was a fair military sort but utterly pathetic when it came to balancing his financial records, and he tended to appoint lackeys and hangers-on to important positions, not people qualified for administrative posts. Nepotism had its uses, Oedipus had to admit, but rewarding people who were unfit for their posts was as much good as hiring from the Thieves' Guilde, and probably far more costly! The Usurper King also proved to be a deplorable diplomat and had gotten himself involved in a few rather pointless conflicts that had drained the treasury while producing no discernable benefits, other than to isolate Thebes and antagonize its neighbors. As was true for many a tyrant, the King then tried to replenish his depleted coffers by raising the taxes on the peasants, a surefire recipe for bringing down their wrath, once the Nobles and Merchants felt the pinch of his avarice.

When Electryon was overthrown (which had been inevitable) all of those loyal to the previous administration were purged from office and forced into exile...understandable politics, really, but not very sound from an administrative standpoint. The new King, Creon, was a far more honest military man than his predecessor, but he had been even more out of his depths when trying to set up a new government, and within a single day he had discovered how much out of his depths he truly was, and the few court scribes kept on hand made sure that he had a full appraisal of just what a mess had been left to the Kingdom.

War debts, promissory agreements, debt bonds with city-states with which Thebes was still on friendly terms, basic costs of operations and the funding of staff and palace guards...all glorious means by which dinars could flow out of the palace far faster than it could be replaced. In short it was a typical mess for any state that had been this badly mismanaged. By rights Oedipus should have resented having such a financial sink hole dumped literally on his lap, but instead he found himself almost eager for the challenge. It was a chance to finally put his education to some use, and with the authority of a crown to his name he could institute some of his long-cherished theories of reform to see if they could actually be made to work in a real environment. At the very least it was the opportunity of a lifetime!

First thing to do...get the palace reorganized, and find some reliable people who could help him get things back into some sort of functioning condition. To that end that fellow who had spoken out for him, Castor the Elder, was good place to start...obviously a clever and opportunistic fellow who was hungry for his position, and a capable merchant who had built his fortune up the old fashioned way-by ruthlessly undercutting his competition and driving out any elements that might have interfered with turning a good profit. A man like that could go far in any organization...just as long as the man on top of the financial pyramid was careful in channeling his energies towards other things besides mischief. True such a fellow might have low moral character and could well wind up embezzling funds to himself, to say nothing of using his position to "settle old scores," practices which might well get out of hand if Oedipus was not careful to monitor and curb such behavior.

But if there was one thing that living in a palace had taught him it was that a Kingdom was run on the foundation of such men. Ideals were all well and good, but you couldn't eat them and they wouldn't keep the people happy...they had to be balanced by tempered reason and sound judgement, and if you were going to have a scoundrel on the payroll, best to keep him close on hand where you can watch him with much care, knowing that such a fellow would be a good buffer against others of similar temperament...like hiring a thief to deter other thieves, as it were. Better to have a competent crook working for you than against you, and better such a man than a hapless-but-well-meaning fellow.

Second issue to resolve...Taxes. No one liked them, everyone insisted that someone else should have to pay them, and yet without such revenues you might as well not have a kingdom at all. Best to regard it as "paying the landlord" for occupancy of the city and for the safety and security that its walls and soldiers presented. A minimum tax for security purposes would be supported by anyone who felt more secure, so it was best to establish a ground minimum upon which the city itself could operate and go on from there to factor in costs and establish a discretionary income. The palace needed to get back on a stable footing before any of its other problems could be resolved, so cutting expenses down to the bare minimum was quite naturally in order...once Oedipus factored in the number of people who took bribes from the previous king for one reason or another.

A mistake frequently made by Tyrants was to tax the poor people, who naturally did not have very much money to begin with (read: NONE), on the grounds that the poor had no choice but to "fork over" their goods. This was itself a very bad policy as it insured that the poor stayed poor and would not be able to scale up the financial ladder into basic sufficiency, and that would insure that city morale stayed low while the populace would be moody and lethargic. Far better to consider the people themselves as a resource and to use them appropriately in lieu of actual payment. A few public works programs (such as fixing the damned palace and making it look nice, for one thing) would help solve both the unemployment and poverty problems, not to mention serve as justification to divert food and resources where they would actually be needed.

Best not to call it charity, though...nobles and the few rich folk in the city were downright allergic to any program that started with the word "Public Welfare."

Obviously the second mistake that many a king would make with taxes was the far more fatal one of underestimating the merchants and nobles, the people who actually had the money in the Kingdom. These were privileged people of means who believed that they were favored by the gods, and doing anything which might disabuse this of their notion was a sure recipe to winding up on their bad side.

Here, too, was a valuable resource to be exploited, but not simply through an excess of taxation. Far better to incorporate these potentially troublesome classes into the new order, the better to make them contribute to the improved economy while making them think that they were getting more out of the deal than they were losing. The name of the thing was usually the key to gaining their cooperation...call something by a more pleasant Euphemism and they would be less likely to oppose it, such as funding education for the poor and illiterate (who were most of the children born into the city) as a "Resource Enrichment Labor Enhancement" program, so workers could actually sign their own names and read leaflets, important commodities if one was to rebuild the mercantile and trade economy from the ground up...thus generating enough revenues through low tariff percentages that would bring in the raw capitol that could be used to find this and other projects...WITHOUT actually raising taxes!

Third issue to address...trade ties and military alliances. So many broken fences needed to be shorn up there, so many neighbors to be assuaged, so many new alliances to forge, and the most important part of all was deciding who the true enemies were, and how best to play them off of one another...

"Darling...are you going to be doing that all night?"

Oh yes, one of the other important perks of this job...his new wife, the lovely (and VERY energetic) Jocasta...quite a marvel that lady. For a recent widow she was certainly not suffering from the pangs of bereavement. Hard to believe that she was old enough to be his mother...

"Coming, Dear!" Oedipus called over his shoulder, feeling very much the randy man after his surprising performance of the previous evening, "Just another candlewick..."

"You said that five candlewicks ago," she complained, "I'm lonely..."

Oedipus turned and smiled at her. Say what you would about hasty weddings, she certainly was a tempting package. Just looking at her tended to make him feel his oats, and with a woman such as this at his side he was certain that their relationship would be legendary. She accepted him-limp and all-as her man and had even proven to have an able mind and was a good conversationalist...two qualities he much enjoyed in a woman. Somehow just being around her made him feel...very good indeed. Like being in the arms of his own mother, only...much more perky. He certainly could not ask the gods for a better companion when starting out as the new King of this benighted kingdom.

"I promise you, Jocasta," he smiled, "With me around you need never feel alone again."

"That's nice," she leaned over and draped her arms about his shoulders, then kissed him affectionately on the cheek (rather like a mother, in fact, though the effect on his system was anything but the response of a dutiful son), "Reading all these dusty things by lamplight can't be too good for your eyesight."

"You're probably right about that," he mused, setting down the dusty parchment he had been reading, "Very well, I'll join you in bed. Not much else to keep me here besides matters that can wait until morning."

"Don't be late," she smiled as she drifted back to the living quarters of the palace, her smile and the exaggerated wiggle of her hips giving him two good reasons to forget about this Kingly business...at least until the morning.

No sooner was his newly wed wife out of sight, however, then another figure detached itself from the shadows, moving with uncanny silence in its motions, which caught Oedipus's eye and made him turn about as he heard her gentle, mocking laughter.

"So...this is the great Lame King who claims to have bested me...not much of a warrior, are you?"

Oedipus blinked his eyes and showed his surprise to the young girl...maybe nine or eleven? Hair was a bit of an odd color, but that might have been a trick of the lamplight.

"Excuse me?" Oedipus replied, "Do I know you, young lady?"

"No," she smiled and showed some rather impressive teeth for a little girl, "Obviously not, but that isn't the real problem...not for me, anyway..."

"Are you a member of the royal family?" Oedipus asked politely, "I'm afraid I haven't had the time to properly greet all of my in-laws just yet..."

"I am the Lenaean Hydra," she said simply as if making informal introductions.

"Are you...oh?" Oedipus blinked, "I beg your pardon?"

"The Hydra...in the flesh, if you will," the girl said again, "Who you are said to have slain as one of you many Kingly miracles."

"Oh," Oedipus blinked again, "Well...actually, I'm not the one who claimed...er...excuse me for asking, but..."

"I wear the shape of a child because I am newly reborn," the girl replied, "I was severely injured, the goddess Athena chastised me after I attempted to eat her mortal form, and to save my life I regenerated, casting off my old form in exchange for this. I look human to you now, but if I were to assume my other aspect I would be a shape far too terrible for mortal eyes to behold...do you want a demonstration?"

"Um, not really," Oedipus replied, wondering if this were some jest on the part of the child, and whether or not he ought to summon her governess and give her a stern lecture about wandering around loose after hours.

"I see doubt in your eyes, Mortal," the child replied, and then suddenly she began to change and grow before the eyes of the astonished Oedipus, taking on a form so huge that she filled the chamber all the way to the ceiling.

**NOW WHAT DO YOU THINK OF MY CLAIMS TO BE THE HYDRA?** she asked in a voice that resonated inside his skull rather than in his eardrums.

"Er..." Oedipus said faintly, wondering if fainting would be a good way to avoid the pain of being eaten by a monster.

The form shank back into a child's body, "Now you know that I have survived, I require only one thing from you Great King, and then I shall leave you to your fate...where is Herakles? The Hero who truly bested me as you most certainly did not!"

"Herakles?" Oedipus blinked, "I know an Ithicles, but I'm sure I don't know anyone by that other name...why do you ask?"

For a moment the child's eyes seemed to glow, then she turned away, "I see that you speak the truth, very well then, I shall be on my way. Don't bother attempting to stop me..."

"Oh, I won't Oedipus assured, "Um...you're not going to eat me or anything like that, are you?"

"No," the child gave him a wry look, "I do the bidding of Queen Hera, my patron on Olympus, and I have learned that Zeus has commanded that you be spared from such things. Besides...I already know what fate has in store for you, and were it possible that I might bear you any malice, I would still not wish such a fate upon you. Now, I must be on my way to find the hero who bested me. Be well until then, Great King...oh...and change your name while you're at it. Lame Foot isn't a very dignified title for a king..."

"Really?" Oedipus asked, "Then what would you suggest?"

"You'll figure something out," the child replied, "After all, if you bested the Sphinx, my cousin, then surely you already know the answer."

"I do?" Oedipus blinked, then murmured, "I know...Oida...that does have something of a ring to it. Even sounds a bit Kingly. Um...I'll see about having them correct that bit about the Hydra...who was it you said again did the deed?"

"Herakles," the child replied before vanishing back into the shadows, "The wrath of my mistress, Hera."

"Herakles...odd name for a hero," Oedipus frowned, "Wonder what she meant about my fate? Oh well...probably nothing important. Hmm...I wonder if there's anything worthwhile to drink about this place. Oh well...Jocasta's waiting, and I'm not getting any younger..."

And so the new King of Thebes drifted down the corridor heading for his bed chamber, wholly unsuspecting that the Fates-at that very moment-had cast him in a role that was very much unlike the vagabond that he had been the previous evening...

"Well," mused Chalciope in a mildly sarcastic voice, "Look who finally has deigned to honor us with her illustrious presence. Don't you look smug and chipper this morning..."

"Why, whatever do you mean?" Maegara replied innocently as she sat down by the fire that was being tended to by Deianeira, "Didn't you sleep well last night, dear Sisters?"

"I did!" Antiope said brightly with a pleasant smile upon her features, "Haven't slept like that in ages...how about you, Sis?"

"Hmm?" Hippolyta mused, looking up from her own breakfast, "Oh yes...quite pleasant, actually. Nice to see you haven't lost your technique over the centuries, Auntie."

"Heh, I was doing this sort of thing before the both of you were even a mote in the eye of your Daddy," Chalciope snorted, "But I was talking about you, Sis...you damned well woke the whole neighborhood howling like a cat in heat near the end there, when that privacy spell of yours finally wore off."

"Um...well..." Maegara said with a sheepish smile of her own as if reluctant to admit to how much fun it had been to be with Herakles all through the night, though the memory of it alone brought a pleasant warmth to her cheeks as she thought fleetingly of her own rather vigorous performance.

"That's what we figured," Atalanta sniffed, "Go brag about it somewhere else instead of rubbing it in our noses already. Have to say, though...I always figured you for a groaner, not a screamer, Sis."

"Now Mother," Hippolyta chided, "That is hardly a nice way to address my new co-  
wife after she has been properly bedded by my husband..."

Just a hint of frost entered Maegara's expression as she said, "I beg your pardon?"

"Well, you did enjoy your first time with a man in-ooooh...was it a thousand years or merely six hundred? I don't much keep track of these things these days, but..."

"That's not the part I'm asking about," Maegara said levelly, "I'm just wondering where you get off on always referring to him as YOUR husband."

"Are we back to that already?" Hippolyta sounded more amused than offended by the tone of the Avatar of Athena, "You know, by the law of Zeus, that I am required to marry the man who has defeated me in battle, and he is such a rare specimen at that, more man than I think any one woman should have to hoard all to herself..."

"And you intend to deal yourself in...just like that," Maegara continued to scowl in the direction of her semi-divine niece.

"Well, technically he is being given the right to choose to either accept or reject me, but I hardly think that's much of an issue at the moment," Hippolyta replied, "The point is that I believe that I was being generous to allow you to have first dibs on a complete virgin. The very least that you could do is to thank me for the kindness of my gesture."

"Kindness," Maegara repeated, "What are you really up to, Niece? I never knew you were this generous about anything, especially in the old days..."

"What I was a thousand or so years ago is hardly pertinent to the present discussion," Hippolyta replied, "I've changed much from the time when I gave up my divinity to incarnate as a half-mortal. You do me no credit if you think my motives are so simple that you can reduce them to the level of harboring ulterior motives...and besides...I rather fancy the notion of having you for a co-wife. You were always quite the unapproachable sort back when I first knew you, Palas Athena. If anyone here has change and grown it would be you, Goddess."

"I may have changed because I fused with a mortal body," Maegara replied, "But everything else about me is the same, including my memory, and the Hippolyta I knew back then was a masterful tactician and one heck of a card player. You never show your full hand to anybody, and you've always got something up your sleeve that you're not showing until you play it..."

"Gotta admit, that does pretty much describe you, Sis," Antiope remarked, "Like that time you were playing that Egyptian board game...the one with the pegs...and you drew a straight duce on Melanippe, pissed the hell out of her and she all but accused you of cheating..."

"That's enough ancient history, Sister," Hippolyta urged before looking frankly at Maegara, "I understand your concerns, but this is larger than you imagine. I have been promised something by Hecate herself, and in exchange for that promise I have vowed not to interfere in your romantic pursuit of my husband."

"He's not your husband, and what did that witch promise you?" Maegara frowned, "Do you think you're going to win Herakles's love by use of her magic?"

"No," Hippolyta replied simply, "Hecate has vowed that she will not interfere on my behalf in any way, other than to bring me here from Amazonia. She will remain completely neutral, other than to bestow her favors on those whom she deems as deserving of the attention."

"Like you?" Maegara replied.

Hippolyta gave her the lazy sort of smile that would have been fitting on a hungry lioness, "I need no tricks or enchantments to win a husband for myself. I will do it by my own means or not at all...it is the way of the Amazons. You would understand it if you paid us more attention in the future."

"But you said she promised you something," Chalciope pointed out, "Like...what?"

"That I am not saying," Hippolyta's smile became more serene, "Other than the fact that I am assured my victory, which is why I can afford to be generous on other matters."

"Why you..." Maegara frowned.

"Fsssst-Fssst!" Atalanta made clawing motions with her hands as though scratching the empty air before her and her fellow divine kin, "Cat-fight in process, and before any of us have even had time to finish off our breakfast."

"Oh yes," Deianeira spoke up, "Please do drop the matter for now if you would, Sister and Niece. It's such a lovely morning, it would be a shame to spoil it with violence, especially since you seem to have enjoyed yourself quite a lot, dear Athena."

"Ah...well..." that set another round of blushing on Maegara's cheeks, though she was surprised at the unusually frank observation on the part of her other, far more demure, sibling.

"No fooling," Atalanta grinned, "I can feel the aura radiating off of you from here, Sis. You really liked doing it with the guy...a LOT don't even cover it. Man, this is sure something! A couple thousand years of you being the wet blanket in the family and all of a sudden you're performing stunts that would even have me feeling backstrain in the morning..."

"Sheesh, what is it you guys see in the guy?" Chalciope winced, "It's like you were in love with him or something..."

"Even I could sense that, Auntie," Hippolyta smirked, "Why do you think I had no objections to giving her first crack at our husband?"

"He's not-!" Maegara started to protest when Herakles, Iolaus and Genma came wandering back into the clearing from the edge of the nearby river.

"Hey, don't stop on our account," Iolaus pleaded, "Just go on gossiping as if we weren't here to overhear you, Sisters."

"Drop dead, you Pervert," Chalciope growled in mild irritation, though it sounded more like an old exchange between close siblings rather than the heated death threat it would have been were it Herakles to whom she was glaring. (Even peripherally he caught the note of thinly veiled suspicion from her on the probable subject of his intruding on her personal space, which was why he made a point of circling the fire to avoid her and sit down next to Maegara.

Maegara felt an odd flushing sensation of warmth pass over her as she set eyes upon the man who had so energetically kept her busy the previous evening. Her new Husband (and tried not to glare in Hippolyta's direction) looked good freshly scrubbed (and yet restored to manhood thanks to Iolaus and a pot of hot water served by Deianeira) and groomed for the morning, shining in her eyes like the sun rising out from the mountains on Sol's Chariot drawn by Apollo and his magnificent chargers. He was every inch the manly man and every inch desirable, especially in the eyes of this particular Incarnate Goddess...

Herakles himself was just coming fresh from a bath, switching from male to female to male again with the resultant confusion of urges and hormones. Seeing Maegara freshly bathed again and as beautiful as on the night before was like raw meat thrown before a starving wolf, though his impulses were nowhere near so crude or fundamental. It was more like seeing a beautiful field of fresh flowers after stumbling through a dark and unwholesome swamp...a feeling like paradise found after a long and troublesome search. The fact that he had not even known her before the previous day hardly mattered in the slightest to him now...it was as if there were a connection between them that had been there forever. Just discovering what it meant to touch and caress her had given him a whole new meaning to life that he had never before suspected, and he found himself both humbled and walking a few inches taller for the experience. In short, seeing her now was like feeling the renewed stirrings of his previous arousal.

"Uh...hi," he said, which sounded rather lame in his own ears, so he spoke to the others in a more general sense, "How did everybody sleep last night?"

The chorus of grunts, groans and complaints (followed by a few thrown objects that bounced off of his head) answered his crude attempt at socialization, all save for Genma who hungrily began eating the food that Deianeira started passing around. Before too long everyone was joining him in enjoying an excellent breakfast, a fact that as much surprised Herakles as he said between mouthfuls, "Wow, this is sure good stuff, Sis...what do you call it?"

"Pocket pita," Deianeira replied, "It's made with flattered bread which you bake around a mixture of wholesome items, like ground up meat, nuts, vegetables and berries..."

"This is nothing, Herk," Iolaus added slyly, "Sister Hebe can whip up any kind of a meal, even from the rudest material and make it come out tasting like ambrosia..."

"Oh my," Deianeira blushed as she responded modestly, "That's a bit of an exaggeration, brother...but I do the best I can with the materials that I can scrounge off the land. If I were back in my kitchen on Olympus this poor fare would hardly be serviceable a confection. I do hope you all enjoy it, though it really isn't one of my best efforts..."

"All right by me, Auntie," Antiope grinned as she wolfed her pita down, "Haven't tasted your cooking in about a thousand years or so...nice to see some things never change..."

"Yes," Hippolyta agreed, eating her share with less haste than her younger sister, "Your fine touch has survived the centuries and is as good as I remember. A pity we don't enjoy this good a meal at home, but we have some excellent cooks who prepare our meals at the palace..."

"Mostly men of course," Antiope added, "Though Sis here can whip up a pretty good fare just using trail mix."

"Bid deal," Atalanta remarked, "My host is a pretty good cook in her own right, though she'd probably want to know your recipe, Sis. She's mostly used to slaving over a hot forge instead of a hot kitchen, but she's used to preparing her own meals...she's quite a handy person all around..."

"Yes," Chalciope frowned, "Not to mention the fact that she's one of MY worshippers. What's the matter, Aphi...couldn't find any hosts of your order, or were they all too busy spreading their legs for their clients?"

"Hey, don't complain to me, Arti," Atalanta replied, "You abandoned her a long time ago after you left her in the care of that she-bear..."

"She-bear?" Chalciope blinked.

"Yeah, what's the matter?" Atalanta smiled, "You forget all about that orphan girl you found exposed to the elements because her old man wanted a son, the one you nursed back to health with your own mother's milk, which is odd since you've never struck me as the motherly type..."

"Mother's milk?" the pig-farmer grew pale.

"Yes," Iolaus nodded, "I've been sensing that about her for quite some time now. This Atalanta...she's an immortal, right? Not to mention the daughter of some king in Athens...?"

"That's right," Atalanta confirmed, "King Melanus of Athens, who died recently and was replaced by his brother, the new King Aegius, who wants to fix Atalanta up with the son of some Cretan nobleman named Androgynous..."

"Wait a minute," Chalciope waved a hand, "You mean to say that this is the little girl I rescued almost two decades ago...the one I gave to Ursa to look after? The one I later took on hunting trips and taught how to use the bow and all that?"

"After you returned her to her mother, yes," Atalanta replied, "And later on she learned about blacksmithing from her grandfather..."

"That's gross!" Chalciope exclaimed, "You've taken over the body of a girl who I practically raised like my own daughter! Not that I've ever had any real daughters, mind you, but still..."

"Sorry," Atalanta smiled, "But finders keepers and all that..."

"Now hold on there," Herakles broke into this discussion, "Sis...what does the real Atalanta inside you have to say about this? You've taken over her body and her life, you know...aren't you ever going to let her come back to the surface to think and speak for herself?"

"Ah...well..." Atalanta winced, "There's a little...problem about that, little Brother, you see...what first attracted me to this body was the fact that the real Atalanta has a connection with you...a soul-bond, if you will, owing back to that little...exchange of promises you two made when you were little..."

"Promises?" Herakles blinked, "What promises?"

"Don't you remember?" Atalanta smiled, "When you two met, along with your half-  
brother Ithicles, and got to be really close friends, you got into that race that King Melanus set up for you with the help of your Uncle Genma..."

Herakles glared at Genma, who seemed startled about being brought into the conversation, "Pop?"

"The gist of it was that Atalanta had made a bet with her father, who thought a ten year old girl who could pick up heavy boulders and talk to bears was a little weird and not likely to find her own husband without some fatherly meddling," Atalanta explained, "So the deal was that she would marry any boy who could defeat her in track and field, which you fulfilled-by the way-which is how the two of you got engaged together..."

"SAY WHAT?" Herakles looked shocked, even though this was actually the second time he had heard some version of this barely remembered story.

"Also too, your Uncle Genma agreed to betroth you to Atalanta if you should win the race, for which he won some generous prize money as an additional bonus," Atalanta continued, "The fact that you were the son of a former King just sweetened the deal from his standpoint. A marriage alliance between Athens and Thebes would certainly have been to his advantage, especially if he could use a grown up you as point guard to usurp the former tyrant and install you as his carefully groomed puppet. Too bad for him nothing quite worked out the way it was supposed to."

"Oh, terrific..." Herakles groaned, "You mean I'm engaged to her because-OW! Hey, what did you hit me for?"

"Not one whole day we've been engaged together and you're telling me you've got a secret fianc e hidden somewhere?" Maegara growled as she jabbed him once more in the ribcage.

"But I didn't even know she was a girl at the time, for crying out loud!" Herakles protested.

"Maybe so," Atalanta replied, "But when you skipped out on her and left her high and dry without a promised husband..."

"Now wait a minute!" Herakles sputtered, "I never skipped out on her! That was Uncle Genma..."

"Now Boy," Genma nervously responded, "Getting engaged like that would have interfered with your training and..."

"And just how many other times did you engaged Herakles besides to Atalanta?" Maegara asked as she rounded on the demi-Satyr.

"Um...well..." Genma grew even more evasive.

"Swell," Herakles growled as he rolled his eyes, "Terrific..."

"So you see," Atalanta resumed, "You're pulling out like that embarrassed and hurt her pretty deeply, making her feel like any chance she ever had as a woman was effectively over. That's why she went on a ten year crusade to build up her strength as a fighter so she could meet up with you once again and show you just how much she resented being abandoned..."

"I didn't abandon...oh, skip it," Herakles slumped his shoulders and looked momentarily defeated.

"And that's why I've been working on her to try and get her to cool her temper a bit on that," Atalanta replied, "Despite how normally she was acting for a while back there at the Palace, her first impulse on seeing you would have been to bash your skull in...at least without me to moderate her wrath a little on the sly, little Brother."

"It's not that I don't appreciate the gesture, Sis," Herakles replied, "But...I think I'd like the chance to try and talk to the real Atalanta in a bit, just to try and get her to accept my side of the story..."

"What story?" asked Cleo as she yawned and stretched coming into the encampment, the brawny Ithicles moving steadily by her shoulders."

"About time you two sleepy heads came and joined us," Iolaus smiled, "Have fun with your little cat-nap?"

"Hmm?" the Egyptian demi-Monster replied with a pleasant shrug of her shoulders (which riveted both Atalanta and Chalciope's attention while causing the others to stare at her full chest with variously astonished and appreciative expressions), "Oh yeah, what sleeping we did and all that, of course. So...what's for breakfast? Any tuna?"

"This far inland?" Chalciope sniffed, "I don't think so."

Herakles spared a glance towards his mortal half-brother and said, "You two get a good night's sleep together?"

"Sleep?" Ithicles responded, his eyes looked tired and worn, as though that were the very LAST thing that he and his new girlfriend had been doing together.

"Never mind," Herakles smiled, "Know the feeling, Bro."

Maegara paused to glance from one brother to the other, then vaguely wondered if she should feel complimented or insulted by that comment.

Eurypylus, the giant boar, chose that moment to wander past the encampment then froze up when he saw the speculative way that Cleo started eyeing him, which caused him to turn around and retreat back into the woodland.

There was some silence around the camp while Deianeira fed the late arrivals to their odd little party, but after chewing the question around in his mind for a while Herakles decided to approach the point directly, "Hey, Hermes...you got any idea why Hecate seemed willing to give Athena and me some slack last night? I thought she was pulling for you, Hippy."

"You thought that was all that she was about, did you?" Hippolyta seemed amused with that slightly superior air of tacit condescension that he found so annoying, "But you never see all that she holds in her hand until she is ready to play it, Husband. She is the Mistress of the Mysteries and things are never entirely what they seem when she is involved..."

"Look," Herakles frowned, "I let it slide last night because I was too tired to make a fuss about it, but I'm not your husband. I don't care what kind of tribal laws you're invoking here, I still have a say in the matter, and I haven't said yes to you that I'm aware of...no offense intended."

"None taken," Hippolyta replied in a curiously unruffled manner, "After all, you have only just met me once in a non-professional manner, and I can hardly expect you to have formed a good opinion of me based on our original first meeting. But I think, in time, you will learn that I am neither your enemy nor a true threat to your relationship with Athena. If anything, I expect you will be most surprised when you learn about the real me, the part that is both Amazon and woman, and until that time I will continue to regard you as my husband, Husband."

"Yeah, whatever," Herakles rolled his eyes, deciding that he really was in too good a mood to let it be spoiled with arguing the point with this vexing niece wanting to marry him, "Still...I'm kinda puzzled about the way Dad was acting. I mean...back on Olympus he acted like he was afraid of Hera, but then he turns around and starts leading her by the leash...and he's actually agreeing with Hecate? What gives here?"

"Yes, I have been wondering about that one myself," Iolaus nodded, "It worries me too, and I've known Dad a lot longer than you can imagine."

"What I can't get my head around is the way he and Hecate were getting along back there," Atalanta frowned, "It was downright creepy..."

"Like the two of them are in cahoots about something," Artemis scowled in concentration, "Something that involves all of us?"

Maegara blinked then said, "You know, you two have raised a very good point here...why would Daddy agree to go along with Hecate's schemes? For that matter, why is she being so deferential towards him all of a sudden? Back on Olympus she was positively defiant..."

"Yeah, and what's the story about that, huh?" Herakles asked, "I thought Dad was pretty much the invincible King of the Gods, but she just deflected his thunderbolt like it was nothing..."

"Magic is her specialty," Maegara replied, "And I doubt any energy construct imaginable would much deter her."

"Besides which," Iolaus added, "She is a Titan...reformed or not, she's incredibly ancient, been around a lot longer even than Dad, and she's mostly kept to herself until quite recently. Some of us even forgot that she still existed, it's been that long since we last saw or heard about her."

"I don't get this," Herakles frowned, "What is a Titan anyway, and how's it any different from being a God?"

"You always ask the easy questions, Handsome?" Cleo smiled in a teasing manner.

"Titans...well..." Iolaus sighed, "That's a bit of a long story. You see...back before it all began, before there were either men or gods, like in the present world, there was a truly ancient race that we call the Archons...beings of primordial Fire, the raw elemental essence of nature personified in a star-  
spanning tribe of cosmic superbeings..."

"You may have heard the standard legends of how the world began, Herakles," Maegara spoke with gentle encouragement, "How nature begat the Titans, who begat the Gods, who began Mortal Men and the race of the Monsters...well...you can pretty much take all that and chuck it out the window. Spontaneous Generation is a myth that hides the truth which even we Gods are reluctant to talk about, that before any of us there were the Star Tribes known as the Archons, and that we ourselves are but a mere shadow of what they were, an echo and a burning ember of former glory."

"Exactly," Iolaus agreed, "They came into our world before there were any intelligent races who might remember, and they somehow altered the indigenous life of an earlier age to suit their purposes, evolving both Titans and Monsters from their seed being mingled with the beasts of the Earth, who were as much our ancestors as they are to the mortals..."

"What?" Ithicles asked, "But I thought that mortal men had been shaped from the primordial clay by Prometheus..."

"That's just what the Bards tell you to while away the time around campfires," Maegara responded, "All Prometheus did was cultivate the intelligence of our primitive ancestors, helping to kinder within them the spark of creativity and conscious self-awareness that would lead them to glory in the Golden Age of long ago...the time before Promethean Fire scorched the planet...when his creations got a bit too clever for their own good, for which Prometheus was summarily punished by Daddy."

"But isn't Prometheus the one who gave fire to mankind so that they could cook their food and make offerings to the gods?" Herakles asked.

"Grow up little Brother," Chalciope sniffed, "Any fool can rub two sticks together fast enough to strike a spark, but the kind of fire that 'Thena's talking about could burn a lot more than just a forest on fire. Prometheus taught mortals how to use the fire that's within them to become more than ordinary men, and some went a little bit too wild experimenting with this power."

Genma looked up unexpectedly. Something about this drift of conversation stirred faint memories in his mind from his own long-ago days of training.

"Ah yes," Iolaus said sagely, "A bit shortsighted of Prometheus, really, which is not at all what you would expect of the fellow. After all, his name means Forethought, so he must have known the consequences of teaching mankind how to use their own inner spiritual powers."

"Prometheus is one of the ancient Titans who sided with the Gods against Chronos and the others of the old order," Hippolyta noted smoothly, "He convinced his brother, Epimetheus, to join him on the side of grandfather Zeus, but they were never able to similarly convince their older brother, Atlas, to join them. Odd thing is...Epimetheus is the one who was later tricked by Zeus into unleashing the plagues on humanity that nearly wiped out one quarter of all the mortals then in existence."

"Afterthought was his specialty," Atalanta nodded, "But I still think it was a crock for Daddy to use my daughter, Pandora, as the delivery person. Now she spends all her time trying to hunt down the demons she released so she can imprison them back inside that damned box..."

"Why did Dad want to unleash the plagues on humanity?" Herakles frowned, "That sounds a bit ruthless, even for him."

"It was meant to counter the damage Prometheus did by trying to make Mortals more like Gods," Iolaus replied, "It shortened human life expectancy for those who survived it and laid waste to many of those who had mastered Promethean fire...those, that is, who didn't develop really strong Chi and also learn the art of self-healing."

"Honestly," Chalciope sniffed, "You'd think Prometheus would have learned from past mistakes what it means to expect Mortals to know how to handle our kind of power. It took most of us centuries to get the basics down...you don't just spring out of your Momma's womb automatically knowing everything. Honestly, some Mortals want everything right here and now and they don't want to have to work for it. I can't stand it when guys feel like accelerating the evolutionary process...it just ain't natural! It took Gaea herself countless generations of trial and error to get the process just right..."

"Are you saying that you're against progress?" Ithicles asked.

"Well, no...not if it can be done working within the lines of nature," Chalciope shrugged, "I mean, obviously it's been a big improvement for people to leave grass huts and learn to live in mud-brick buildings that don't get flooded every season, but I've never had much truck with City People anyway. I'm a back-to-  
nature girl, and I can get along just fine without all this technological innovation."

"You mean like when they developed the compound bow?" Iolaus asked shrewdly.

"Hey, don't get started on me about that, Bro," Chalciope warned, "Besides...bows don't kill people, people kill people..."

"You mean people with arrows and bows kill other people," Maegara corrected.

"Yeah, well, so it's a new and improved kind of killing power, so what?" Chalciope shrugged, "Can't take it away from honest hunters, their right to put food on the table, just as long as they remember to pray to the spirit of the animal and thank the Mother for her bounty. Mark me well, if Bows were outlawed, then only Outlaws would carry Bows..."

"Well, one good thing you can say about them," Iolaus smiled, "It's awfully hard to shoot yourself with one while you're cleaning."

"Tell me a little more about this...Promethean fire, huh?" Herakles asked, unconsciously patting his own trusty compound bow, which he used mostly for hunting, a heavy monster that only he knew how to draw and shoot with accuracy, "How exactly does it work?"

"Well, you ought to know, Bro," Iolaus shrugged, "You've been studying under Genma, who already knows how to tap into his own Spiritual Fire. Just imagine being able to do that on a larger scale, like concentrating your energy so you could put a hole in the side of a mountain..."

"Interesting," Hippolyta mused, "We study similar techniques in Amazonia, but very few warriors ever master more than the basics."

"Yes, well..." Maegara sighed, "It really goes back to what you were asking before, Herakles, about what defines a God from a Titan. The Titans were incredibly ancient descendants of the original Archons, but they mixed their blood with mortal men to create a hybrid race that was half-mortal, half-  
immortal. Somehow this quality that makes one divine has been passed down like a recessive trait over the countless generations of Mortal and Immortal interaction, diluting its strength and purity over time so that the trait has been lost to most of humanity...but occasionally it resurfaces in the form of a prodigy, a gifted child who shows traces of the divine in his overall makeup."

"It's kind of like this, you see," Iolaus smiled, "Children born of Gods and Mortals don't all wind up inheriting the divine gene...whatever it is, like your great-grandfather, Perseus, the one who slew Medusa..."

"Oh yeah?" Herakles asked with a slight frown, "What about my great-granddad?"

"He wasn't as fortunate as you in his inheritance," Maegara explained, "The divine gene was weaker within him, and yet he still was more than an ordinary mortal. Tall, proud, brave, truly heroic, much stronger than an ordinary man, and yet all-too-mortal. When he won the hand of the fair Andromeda he then settled down and became King of Tyrins, hung up his saddles, gave the head of Medusa to me and went into semi-retirement and founded the line of the Danae, from which your own mother's clan originated."

"Why did he wind up inheriting less than Herakles?" Ithicles asked with a puzzled expression.

"We're not really sure why," Iolaus answered truthfully, "But we think it has something to do with the divine gene being recessive... by choosing a woman of the Danae, Dad insured that the gene would be fully active in the case of Herakles, and-sure enough-he's got fully divine traits and is almost a trueborn Immortal. Only the mating of two Gods or Titans is supposed to yield that strong an inheritance..."

"There is some dilution present, of course," Maegara added, "But we think that this may be the very process by which the Titans themselves originally came into existence."

"Say what?" Herakles looked at the beautiful woman at his side, "You've got to be kidding."

"There's a little secret about the divine gift that we were all born with which you ought to know about, little Brother," Iolaus replied, "It can be made to grow stronger by training or by acting in a way that is consistent with your own true nature. Understand, we all tap into the same vast pool of divine power...we all draw from a common well of inexhaustible spiritual energy, but as a consequence of this, no one God is truly all-powerful. We divide the power up among us with the greatest amount of the power going to those of us who are the most true to our own individual niche in the hierarchy. For example, I use speed of thought and body to travel great distances through the act of running. The more I ran as a boy, the stronger my legs became, and the faster I could go. I also learned to do clever things as a youth which...more or less endeared me to the other Gods..."

"You mean you were an impressible scamp, always playing tricks on everybody," Maegara smiled with infection, "A practical joker...until you grew up and settled down more in your ways..."

"Heh, well...I still keep my hand in the game, just to keep in practice," Iolaus smiled, "Like planting 'Kick Me' signs on the back of Brother Ares...but the point is, I established my niche early and became the God of Speed, Thought, Thievery and Message delivery. I later became a patron of the arts, and I sometimes exchange friendly notes with an Egyptian friend of mine named Thoth..."

"Oh yeah," Cleo spoke up, "Old Ibis Head himself. That's who you remind me of...I was trying to figure you out all day, and here it was right out in the open...like, duh!"

"Don't worry about it," Iolaus smiled, "To Egyptians I'm known as the Thrice Majestic One, but to Osiris I'm that annoying guy who planted his scepter handle-up on his throne so when he sat down without looking...well...it sure got the royal Court of the City of the Dead up in a titter."

"I, of course, established my niche as a goddess of the Intellect and of sage council in battles," Maegara continued, "Studying and learning all that there is to know has been my hobby since...well...since I first can remember. I've always tried to strike a balance between the mind and the body, and because I am so good at this I am the patron of Librarians and Military Strategists alike."

"Yeah, well, my thing is Hunting," Chalciope remarked, "When I'm not up in the sky drawing the Moon Chariot, which normally I leave to cousin Selene to handle. Ares is a bloodthirsty thug who likes soldiering and battles, while Aphi here is a raging Nympho..."

"Look whose talking," Atalanta sniffed, "At least I don't confine my sexual forays to just Nymphs. A good Stud in the sack is almost as good as a juicy Furburger in the hay..."

"Now you're talking my language," Cleo smiled in a way that oddly made Ithicles look nervous.

"The point is," Iolaus resumed, "We're all good at something, specialists in our respective fields of expertise, and with only a slight bit of overlap between our various zones of influence. Over the centuries we've learned to basically get along and keep out of each other's way, and the Lesser Gods in our Pantheon have pretty-much learned not to step on our toes, and so forth. We're all extremely good at one particular thing, and that thing is the point where our divine power is at its strongest measure...in other words, the more we stress the thing we're best at, the more the divine spark within us is strengthened."

"So it's like training," Genma spoke up rather unexpectedly, "You use it or lose it, just like any other kind of muscle."

"Yes, that is a good analogy," Maegara reluctantly conceded, "And-conversely-  
-what which we do not use tends to become our weakest aspects...such as those among us who seldom employ higher thought processes to our actions. I'm not pointing any fingers here, but more than a few of us would rank as below even human intellect if you judged merely by performance..."

"That's not entirely true, Sis," Iolaus corrected, "Being a God means having to balance tremendous levels of power that ordinary mortals could never hope to understand. Even a god slow of wits uses more of their brain potential just regulating this power than any score of geniuses on the mortal plane. Perhaps in a few cases that might even explain why they are such idiot savants in other matters, like sister Aphrodite here, who is much more clever than she lets on with her frilly act of wanton debauchery and promiscuous behavior..."

"Hey!" Atalanta scowled, "Watch the adjectives there, you think I can't figure out what you're trying to say about me, little Brother?"

"Getting back to the original point once again," Maegara smoothly made a point to divert the pursuit of THAT particular subject, "We believe that the Titans evolved a closer kinship with their divine link to the primordial power. They lived for thousands of years and grew both ancient and wise in the use of their powers, and it affected them on a physical level, causing some to grow to gigantic proportions while others compacted their frames and could pass as normal humans...at least on the surface. The race of the Giants is descended from their stock, giants being more elemental and mortal than Titans, yet still possessed of the divinity that makes them larger than human."

"Beyond a certain point a Titan becomes so fixed in his niche of the power that he takes on the aspect of the literal embodiment of that element of nature," Iolaus further noted, "And when they became truly ancient and monstrous beings of indescribable power they went beyond the boundaries of what even we Gods consider a state of normalcy. A few were driven mad by their powers, others took on monstrous shapes that befitted their nature, some even going well beyond what we could even hope to define as human. By the time Dad and the other New Gods came around the world was pretty much their oyster, and ordinary mortals lived in thrall to the rule of Chronos and the great Twelve who dominated their pantheon. Everything was micromanaged, the world was pretty much held in stasis with very little progress beyond the technology of long-ago Atlantis...an ancient Empire which Chronos himself wanted destroyed when they became too powerful for his liking."

"These days Chronos has been exiled to the veil of time and dwells beyond the mortal plane of reality," Maegara noted, "He exists through time, he is Time embodied, structured and ordered, yet far beyond the reach of the mortal plane that used to be his providence. When Daddy and the other gods established their new regime it was as much an upset of the balance of nature as it was the dawning of a new age, the Silver Age of the Moon Kingdom, which Artemis could tell you quite a lot about since it happens to be one of her proudest accomplishments."

"Yeah, well..." Chalciope shrugged, "Even I can dabble in the city-state business once in a while, gonna make a point about it?"

"The Moon Kingdom is the forerunner of the Amazon model that is enjoined by myself and my sisters," Hippolyta casually remarked, "It is where we gained the name of Amazon...Moon Women..."

"Huh?" Ithicles blinked, "I thought it meant 'Without Breasts?'"

"Oh yeah, right," Antiope made a face, "Like we'd make ourselves chop off a boob to improve our archery...I mean, are you kidding? Take a look at these babies!" she proudly displayed her chest, which had only been partially covered by chiton, "And they're one hundred percent real too...!"

"Ah..." Herakles blinked, only to feel a slap on his arm from Maegara, to which he said, "What?"

"There are a lot of stories told about us that are quite patently untrue," Hippolyta noted with a disdainful toss of her head, "Like that nonsense where we supposedly cripple our own sons to make them invalids...pure invention by our enemies, slander told to blacken our reputation and make us seem like monsters in the eyes of ordinary women."

"Like invading Thrace on five separate occasions hadn't already done that?" Atalanta remarked tartly.

"We were just promoting our interests and expanding our frontier to give our people more land, Mother," Hippolyta replied benignly, "Had we succeeded in conquering all of Greece, then it would have meant a new Golden Age, one where men were taught to properly respect a woman."

"Where have I heard that one before?" Iolaus rolled his eyes then sighed, "So...you see what we're getting at here, Herk? The Archons gave birth to the Titans, who gave birth in turn to Dad and the other Primary Gods of Olympus, of which we are the second and third generation?"

"Uh...kinda," Herakles scratched his short beard with a thoughtful expression, "So you're saying that Gods and Mortals are a lot more closely related than I'd ever heard before...but if that's so, then why the big cover up? Why all the stories about us being two separate kinds of people?"

"Politics," Maegara replied, "Would you want to give mortals the idea that they might potentially be able to one day live without us, or-even worse-to become Gods themselves, or even to forget all about us?"

"Heh, sounds like you guys have it a lot worse than in Egypt," Cleo remarked, "Back home the Gods of the Nile rule over everything, and you can't even take a dump without saying a prayer to the river god blessing your own fertilizing of the crops and all that. Of course our Gods are pretty much content to let things slide...most of the time, except for that time over a century back when one of the Pharaohs went nuts and dabbled in Monotheism..."

"Dabbled in what?" Ithicles blinked.

"It's like this, Handsome," Cleo explained, "In Egypt there's a big celestial pyramid with Father Ra at the top and everybody else on the bottom. Like the guys here just got done explaining, having many gods means the divine well of power gets divided up into different niches, each God supervising some aspect of divinity that's separate from all the others. Frankly we kind of like it that way, the competition between them tends to keep things honest...but Pharaoh Amenhotep IV couldn't leave well enough alone. One day he just up and proclaimed that there was only one God, and guess who he meant to be the only prophet?"

"One God?" Herakles frowned, "That's not really possible, is it?"

"You tell me," Cleo shrugged, "Story goes that some shepherd boy made a real name for himself by finding this jug that contained a Daemon called Abraxos...or something like that...also calls himself Lucifer, I hear...you guys know anything about that?"

She asked the latter point as she noticed how the group suddenly got quite pale and still all of a sudden.

"Lucifer," Iolaus said with a frown, "We've heard of him...do go on."

"Well," Cleo scratched behind one ear and wondered if she should have even brought the subject up in the first place, "Maybe I should explain a little something about our history. You see...about three or four centuries back, during the sixteenth and seventeenth dynasties, the Middle Kingdom got divided up into three warring camps that each claimed a different line of succession. That was the period of the overlapping Pharaohs, and one of them was a foreign mercenary who's claimed his crown by force of arms. During one of our little civil war spats this guy had been at the head of a mercenary force that got employed by one claimant to the throne of Osiris, only he overthrew his boss and took the job for himself, introducing modern war chariots and cavalry for the first time to the Middle Kingdom. These guys were called the Hyksos, and they were a pretty ruthless bunch of foreign-born tyrants who dominated the land until they got overthrown by Amhose the First, who established the Eighteenth dynasty (after systematically removing the other claimants, of course). The Hyksos were then kicked out of the Kingdom, all except for a few mercenary contingents, who were kept on as auxiliaries as a deterrent to other would-be troublemakers. They were given their own city and made to pay the local taxes by contributing to the labor on various building projects and stuff like that..."

"So, what has this got to do with Lucifer?" Herakles asked.

"Everything," the Sphinx replied, "A few Pharaohs further down the line, we come to Amenhotep, who seems to have fallen under the mysterious influence of that shepherd boy and his pet Daemon, and the next thing you know he goes on a mad spree by proclaiming his 'One God' fixation. He introduces a new cult devoted to Aten-Ra instead of Amon-Ra, which is the real name of our Supreme Chief of the Pantheon. Somehow this new god was able to conquer and suppress all the other gods while his priests went about smashing and defacing their idols, forbidding their worship, and he even changed his name to Akhenaton to signify his devotion. He moved the royal court from Thebes to some place out in a Gods-  
forsaken desert, and from there the Middle Kingdom started to go to Heck in a hand-woven basket..."

"Why is that?" Genma asked, curiously drawn to the subject of religion, which normally gave him a case of hives.

"Because one guy running everything without the various Gods and Lesser Spirits to intervene?" Cleo sniffed, "PUH-LEASE! Not only was the river Nile unable to flow properly on time but a number of people started to get really sick without proper Priestly attention. Akhenaton proved to be something of a real flake who was simply uninterested in politics, and he let the Middle Kingdom go to seed, which is about the time when the Hibiru started to become a problem in the hill country of our Eastern borders. Near the end of this reign Egypt got hit by a really bad spell of Cholera, the river literally turned red with algae and drove a number of pests right into the city...you know, frogs and stuff you don't even want to know about. Children started dying mysteriously in their sleep, it got so bad that the people were ready to riot and finally did when they'd had enough of hearing about how much Aten-Ra was supposed to have loved them. The High Priests took care of things, making sure Akhenaton was one of those who blissfully passed away in his sleep, then they consulted the oracles and determined that the Ancient Gods were angry, that they'd all somehow been imprisoned and were causing these plagues to beset Egypt. The cure they recommended was to do away with Aten worship and to restore the old temples, and soon everything was back to normal again, except-of course-that the remaining Hyksos were made the scapegoat for the whole affair and were given the royal boot, told to pack up all their belongings and to leave the Nile basin, and to take their 'foreign god' with them, thank you very much..."

"Interesting," Maegara mused, "I had heard rumors about something very much like this...only the accounts told in the lands of the Cananites was...somewhat different."

"I'm not surprised," Cleo sniffed, "Those guys were barely even literate, except for their priestly class, which was headed by some tyrannical clown of a cult leader, a really ruthless bastard by the name of Ahmoses. He left with several thousand mercenaries and cultists and cut along our coastal borders where he and his band of thugs sacked a temple to the Goddess Hathor, stole all their treasures and melted their gold into a pair of winged Cherubim to serve as the frame on which they carried that damned Box that was said to be the resting place of their pet Daemon. A local governor tried to chase them out into some swamp lands, but their chariots got stuck in the mud, which left them easy pickings for the Hyksos. Ahmoses and his followers then fled into Egypt and somehow wound up as far south as the borders to Edom. They wandered around in that damned desert for something like forty years before they settled in the foothills north of the Palestine area, and ever since then they've been a constant nuisance to the Cananite cities, especially since they joined with the Hibiru and formed their own tribal state based on banditry and other sorts of anti-social behavior."

"Sounds like a bunch of really fun guys," Herakles frowned, "And you say Lucifer is their sponsor?"

"Calls himself something else these days," Cleo replied, "I Am, or something like that. Mind you, I've only heard the travel tales told about these people around campfires, but they've got a real hatred for city people and those who belong to different religions. They keep insisting that their god is the only one who actually exists, that all other gods are just empty idols and stuff like that. They've even come up with a new word to describe this: 'Fornication,' which roughly translates in your language to, 'Worship of False Idols.'"

"Really?" Atalanta asked, "Funny...it sounds kind of sexy to me..."

"I can't believe that these people are all as bad as you're describing," Ithicles pointed out, "I've been around the Hibiru before and they seemed like perfectly nice people...a bit strict about their rules and customs, but no worse than when I spent time among the Hittites."

"Well," Iolaus drawled, "It's been my experience that no people, no matter how crude their existence, are ever entirely all good or all bad once you get to know them..."

"Really?" Herakles sniffed, "Then you ought to meet the Kurgans, then you can tell me all about that, Bro."

"I must confess that I am a bit concerned with what you say here," Maegara informed Cleo, "If Lucifer is cultivating an army under the banner of a new cult...one that forbids the worship of other Gods besides himself..."

"That could indeed spell real mischief," Hippolyta agreed, "If he has somehow found a way to trap and suppress the worship of other deities, then it is conceivable that he may be planning to do the same to Olympus. I was not present at the time, of course, but I heard about his infamous vow that he would one day unseat grandfather and rule as the new head of Olympus."

"You mean that guy could wind up in charge of everybody?" Antiope blinked.

"Worse than that," Iolaus replied, "If he could trap all of us and steal our power, then rule as the only official God over everybody, then there's no telling what mischief he might do...for a sure thing a guy with that much power would be downright scary, and given that it's a smooth talking operator like Lucifer we're describing here..."

"Right," Herakles nodded, "Bad news all the way."

"Um..." Deianeira started everyone by speaking up suddenly, which was completely unexpected from her.

"You have something you want to add here, Sis?" Iolaus asked.

"I was just wondering," Deianeira ventured, "If little brother Lucifer is planning some kind of mischief against father...then why hasn't father himself taken steps to do something about this?"

"Good question," Maegara frowned, "Daddy's not the type to just sit and wait for things to happen...but it's a long way from here to the land of Canaan, and it's territory belonging to another entire pantheon of Gods...the Baals of various distinctions..."

"The what?" Ithicles asked.

"Baal is the word for 'Lord' over there, Handsome," Cleo replied, "Almost every male God has a Baal before his name...like Baal Asamoth, Baal Zebub, Baal Alam, Baal Yaweh and stuff like that. The major Goddess of their pantheon is Asteroth, the Star Maiden..."

"Really?" Maegara's eyes sharpened slightly, "How odd...that name sounds almost like Asteria, the Titaness of the heavens, daughter of Phoebe of the Moon and..."

Herakles saw his lady companion suddenly sit bolt upright with an astonished expression, which prompted him to say, "What? What's wrong?"

"Yeah," Chalciope remarked, "You look like you just sat on a bur or something."

"Worse, much worse," Maegara said as her face drained of color, "I've just remembered who else Asteria is supposed to be...the mother of Hecate!"

There was silence following that pronouncement, broken only when Antiope spoke up, "Um...is it just me, or does that sound maybe just a wee bit too coincidental...?"

Comments/Criticisms/Catechisms and Complaints: shadowmane

The true depths of Lucifer's perfidy will begin to be made plain next chapter as the Exiled rebel God plots his own mischief against Herakles and his kinsfolk. Meanwhile our hero heads for Mycenea in time for a royal Stag Hunt, and yet another heroic figure will be showcased in the very near future. Stay with us for the next exciting romp in, "Kosher Wars," or "The Hind is Quicker than the Rye!" Be there!

X -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

If you wish to check out my other works, Please check out my Fanfiction webpage at: . All related chapters of this series can be found there along with my other works. 


	13. Chapter 13

Hercules13

Hercules 1/2

"GENMA SAOTOME'S TIME AND SPACE MISADEVENTURES!"

by Jim Robert Bader

(Inspired by the works of Rumiko Takahashi &amp; Others,  
with special thanks to a guy-or guys-named Homer)

Chapter Thirteen.

Front and Hind.

A Certain Mountain named Sinai-Arabia-1254 BC.

Lucifer, the God of Light, was not a particularly happy deity as he studied his scrying mirror from his cavernous mountain retreat. This business with "little brother" Herakles was not going at all to his liking, and it was looking more and more readily apparent that something would have to be done about the matter in the very near future.

"Master," said Shimon Ben Moloch, one of his most faithful minions and the outcast son of a Canaanite God with whom Lucifer had some dealings, "Why concern yourself with this foreign-born bumpkin? Surely your father's bastard get can pose no threat to your plans from the other side of the world..."

"Except that he could prove troublesome if his involvement with the Witch Goddess should turn his attention my way," Lucifer scowled, "She is recruiting him, of that I have no doubt, perhaps to enlist her aid in liberating her mother. I will not stand for such interference, especially in light of the greater plan, which may be put into some danger."

"Surely nothing can thwart your will, Great Lord," Shimon assured, "Thou art as constant as the rising star of morning, for which you were named..."

"My will be done," Lucifer agreed, "Nothing can thwart my destiny, but if Herakles could even so much as deter my progress, then he must be dealt with in an appropriately suitable manner. Fortunately he is still half-mortal, and not even all that experienced in what it means to have divine blood, while I am the master of my own destiny. Death's cold touch may yet still take him while I am as eternal as that stars of the heavens. Time, Shimon...time is all that I need, father Chronos's gift to us all will be my greatest ally, provided that none from Olympus interfere with my plans before they reach fruition. Let them dream their idle dreams of self-indulgence, when the storm breaks upon their shores they will be as the wheat before my scythe...provided that Witch doesn't clue them in before I'm ready!"

In truth Lucifer knew that it would take a few more generations before his mortal followers would be the force to be reckoned with that he needed to exert his greater influence in the world at large. At the present he was confined to dealing with landless tribes of herdsmen, goat and sheep herdsmen at that, not cattle, which would have been a true wealth upon which to build a Chosen nation. His Habiru followers were spread out over a vast wilderness of the Northern Palestine region, occupying lands that belonged to their Cananite neighbors by the tenacious force of arms that kept their rivals at bay despite the overwhelming technological and cultural superiority of their rivals.

The Habiru were a short and swarthy Semitic peoples of vaguely Asian stock who had migrated south from Sumeria into these lands of "Milk and Honey" many centuries ago. They used copper-headed javelins and knives in place of the Bronze and Iron tipped weapons of their enemies and lived a largely nomadic existence, having no fixed cities of their own and only a loose tribal structure to hold them together into a national identity. They were a simple, hard-headed and intractably stubborn people, wary of outsiders and hostile to the people who lived in cities on the plains. They were numerically inferior to their Cananite enemies, and so they had to deal more in trade and commerce than any military adventures that might sustain them, and on the whole they were little more than a nuisance to the local governments, who viewed the Habiru as little more than a collection of hill bandits.

Yet for all of that, the Habiru were skilled as weavers and had a thriving textile industry (of sorts), trading dyed woolen garments of many attractive colors that were valued along the coastal cities. It earned enough for them to afford a quiet build up of their armaments industry, and while they did not yet have smiths of their own who could fashion weapons of iron (for that they would have needed fixed kilns capable of sustaining the high temperatures needed to smelt the hard-to-work metal to the right carbonized level that could hold an actual edge in battle) they were steadily stockpiling enough weapons to enable the tribes to become a real force within the region. All they would need to do would be to take over a few cities and convert them into a political power base, and then the Habiru would be on their way to carving out a genuine empire.

And-more importantly from Lucifer's point of view-they had something else which he greatly valued...an absolute sense of duty and obedience to carrying out his will. Loyalty was the thing he prized above any other virtue, and those minions who had shown the greatest amount of it were the ones he most rewarded with his favors. Such loyalty could be turned into the fanatical drive that would propel his people on to greatness, sacrificing everything else for the sake of a new empire...an "Empire of Light," which Lucifer had promised to Ahmoses at the beginning of their dealings.

He smiled when he thought of his servant, Ahmoses, an exiled Priest of the noble class in Egypt, a renegade Prince of the Nile who had survived the purges of the Atenists, back when Lucifer's first attempt at creating a Monotheistic state had gone bust in such a spectacular manner. Ankhnaton's failure to instill in his people a lasting devotion to the "One God" concept had been supremely disappointing, but Lucifer had resolved to try again when he guided Ahmoses to safety, along with the few thousand-or-so followers of the Aten order who were fleeing with him into exile.

Ahmoses had been quite the follower in those days, freely willing to shed blood on behalf of his "Aten-Ra," (the name that Lucifer had been going by at the time), a ruthlessly ambitious man who had held his group together through the fanatical force of his own personality, commanding the loyalty of over five hundred Habiru-born mercenaries, who served as the backbone for his priestly cast, the Sons of Levi. Only a man like that could have held this tiny group together on the hard journey that had taken them beyond the reach of Egyptian justice, looting temples of their treasury on the way to further fund their expedition. By twists and turns unimaginable they had managed to cross the barren Sinai desert to reach the mountain stronghold where Lucifer had intended to found his Kingdom. Almost immediately, however, their efforts ran into trouble when a group of Semite worshippers of the Egyptian Gods attempted to persuade the people that they had to atone for offending the Gods of the Middle Kingdom. Since Hathor had been one of those whose temples had been raided, these rebels had pleaded convincingly to build the Golden Calf as an offering to appease the Egyptian Moon Goddess.

To say that Lucifer was annoyed at this would have been a gross understatement. Fortunately Ahmoses has rallied his mercenaries to purge their group of the trouble makers, putting fifty of them to excruciating death, then proclaiming an anathema on the survivors, saying that they would have to atone to their TRUE GOD for their outrages. That was when Lucifer had hit upon the idea for the tablets with the Ten commandments, setting down in stone the rules that his people were steadfastly commanded to obey, on pain of torture, death and even worse. The first few commandments were intended to prevent a repeat of the Golden Calf episode, commanding the Habiru to obey only "The One True God" and to forsake all of the others. Ahmoses had even cleverly spun out some hodge-  
podge fables to convince the people that they had been favored above all others, telling them that they were a "Chosen People" and beginning the oral traditions by which the Habiru would place themselves at the center of all creation.

Since that time the Habiru had tended to adopt the more prevalent laws set down by the Babylonian King, Hamurabi, but they would argue and debate the finer points of said laws until they were distinctly Habiru, then act as though these final versions of the law were the idea of their God in the first place. The traditional rhetorical arguments set down by Ahmoses proved durable over time, and subsequent generations of Levite priests had taken up his standard, adding and embellishing on his tales as they sometimes wove Babylonian, Cananite and Egyptian legends to account for how a near-mythical ancestor named Ahbram had been the true founder of their "Chosen Nation." Yes indeed, Ahmoses had proven to be quite the Spin-Doctor, and a political genius besides this, for all his lacking a proper sense of direction. At times Lucifer truly missed him, lamenting that the current generation of tribal leaders among the Habiru were not his equal when it came to the spilling of blood in the name of "Baal Yaweh."

And then there was Joshua, a fanatical military leader who had staged a number of successful raids upon many caravans traveling to and from the Palestine area. Too bad he lacked the true genius to know how to lay siege to fortified cities, though one particularly amusing story gave him the credit for the destruction of the ancient city of Jericho, which had actually fallen to an Earthquake almost a hundred years before Joshua had even been conceived. Some unknown Semitic bandit chief had picked the bones of that city clean long before Ahmoses and his followers had fled from the land of Egypt, but a little creative doctoring of the legends gave Jericho a starring role in one of the most brilliant pieces of political fiction that Lucifer had ever cooked up. He had meant the story to serve as a model for future campaigns, and by retelling the story often enough he had gradually convinced the Habiru themselves that his version of events had actually happened.

What Lucifer truly needed was a man who could combine a Priestly and Political visionary with the skills of a true military planner. With such a minion at his disposal he could well conquer the entire Palestinian region! Unfortunately the current crop of Judges and Prophets were having enough trouble just holding the tribal states in line. The younger generation was chaffing at the hardships of nomadic existence, and life in the Big City was much too appealing, even when repeatedly told the cautionary fable about Sodom and Gomorrah, and what happened to people who got too close to "City People." And then there was the fact that some of his "chosen" generals had proven so inept in battle that he had to do some hasty Spin-Doctoring of his own to cover up for their transgressions. Why, he'd even had to call upon the services of a WOMAN named Deborah in order to bail a fool named Barak out of the debacle that he had dug his army into...

Lucifer had to calm himself down. It did no good to rail against his tools if they proved inadequate to the task at hand. What he needed was a champion of his own, one who might be able to rally the Habiru and give them a truly fighting spirit. Instead he was facing an obstacle to his plans who might rally the people to start thinking for THEMSELVES instead of relying upon his priests and prophets. A man like that-having the blood of the Gods themselves in his veins-might tip the balance disastrously against His plans for the future, in fact...

...In fact, Lucifer paused to reflect, if he DID have someone like that working on his side, then he might serve as a symbol of "Yaweh's" power rather than a sign that one man could go his own way. That thought gave Lucifer a certain pause as he started to reflect on what he knew his "little brother," and it brought to light something which Lucifer himself had all but forgotten.

Back when he had been trapped in that damned Jug (the same vessel whose smashed remains He's had triumphantly carried around in the box known as "The Arc," along with the stone tablets of Ahmoses), he had chanced to wind up in the lands of the Midianites, whereupon he had been found by that fortunate farm boy. Once released, Lucifer determined to take over the region and make it into his first stronghold of power, but to do that he had to replace the local God of the Midianite tribe of Jethro, the original Moon God named Yaweh. Trapping the God in His own Jug was a delicious irony that gave Lucifer the advantage he needed to open "negotiations," eventually convincing Yaweh to leave the territory in Lucifer's hands, so that Lucifer became known as "Yaweh." He next convinced the boy to take Lucifer's message to the court of the new Pharaoh, and that had sparked Amenhotep IV to convert to Aten worship once Lucifer had convinced him of his "One and Only God Aten-Ra" message.

In truth the notion that there was only One God in all of creation was an ancient one that predated even the Gods of Ancient Egypt. The mysterious Creation Source was an enigma acknowledged by all the lesser gods of the various pantheons which made up the known world. To the Greeks he was known as Chaos, to the Egyptians he was Ra himself, sometimes also known as Ptah, while the Sumerians and Cananites both had their own names to describe this enigmatic being, but in truth no one knew The Source in person. As far as anyone knew he just created Universes for a hobby then sat back and watched as events unfolded. He was much too vast and too mysterious even for an Immortal's understanding.

Claiming to be "The One God" was certainly a bit of a stretch, but in truth all Gods were his children, and thus extensions of "The One" himself, so in a metaphorical sense of things, Lucifer could claim to be representing the True God of all creation. As long as "The One" did not personally object or make His real opinions known there was no harm to it, in Lucifer's way of thinking. Keeping up the pretense that he was this One, however, meant disavowing his own anthropomorphic existence.

Among the things that Lucifer did not like to have made known was the fact that he-the Son of Zeus and Aphrodite-did, in fact, have a bit of a wandering eye when it came to mortal women. Though he had steadfastly vowed never to be like his father (and consequently was more like Zeus than he felt comfortable with admitting), there had been times when Lucifer had been unable to resist the pull of attraction that some woman or other had exerted over him. Mortals lived such brief lives that it hardly seemed worth all the bother to form permanent relations with him, but there was one local deity who had caught his eye...the Goddess Sophia. She had been his Mistress on occasions, sharing her favors with him on the sly while trying to convince him that it was possible for the Habiru and Cananites to mutually co-exist. The Goddess of Divine Knowledge had been a soothing presence for him in the early days, but now he had been growing weary of her constant blather about pacifism. That was why he had been driven to seek out a mortal woman named Manoah, whom he had met by chance when she was grazing her herd in the fields of the Tribe of Dan. In fact, Lucifer was rather certain that he had gotten the woman pregnant the last time, and he had been weighting what was to be done about it. After all, she had a husband, and what the two of them had done was-technically-against the laws of Ahmoses...

Lucifer smiled. A child by his loins...he's never fancied himself as a father before. In truth, his experiences at the hands of his own father had rather soured him on the whole concept, but now he saw a genuine opportunity to raise a child of his own, to make him into the valiant servant that he needed, a Man among Men, like Herakles himself. Yes...the more he thought on it the more he liked the concept. Perhaps he should pay the husband he cuckolded with a vision to let the man know of Lucifer's intentions (if not his actually being the father of the unborn child), convince the man to have the boy be raised by a Prophet of Lucifer's choosing, raise the boy to be a Nazarite then consecrate him to "Yaweh." By cultivating the boy's divine inheritance he might be turned into a truly heroic figure who could do Lucifer's bidding, perhaps even lead his people into greatness...

"Master?" Shimon asked, "Why are you smiling? Have you a plan to destroy the young upstart?"

"Not yet," Lucifer waved a hand dismissively, "Just an idea for a special project. I'll fill you in on the details later...but for now...let Herakles do as he will. I will continue to monitor things from this end, and if I see a genuine problem emerge...then I will know what to do about him."

"Thy Will be done, Master," Shimon bowed, privately shuddering as he tried not to contemplate the implications of that too-casual a statement. There were just some things that you did not want to know when you had a Master as ruthless and purposeful as his "Lord Yaweh," the sort of deity that Olympus did not want, and whom even Tartarus feared that he might take over...

"A dinari for your thoughts, 'Thena?" Herakles asked of his lovely companion.

"I'm just considering what to do once we reach Mycenea," Maegara replied, "I've been thinking...now that I'm more-or-less trapped in a mortal body, perhaps I should look into acquiring a somewhat more suitable wardrobe, preferably some battle armor that might give me a fighting chance at staying alive once we are married."

"Armor?" Herakles raised a skeptical eyebrow, "In your size?"

"Well, preferably yes," she smiled as she caught the teasing expression in his eyes, "It would have to be form-fitting, like the armor I left back home in Olympus. Hephaestus once made a bronze plate cuirass for me that could resist penetration, and I'm thinking that I should have brought that with me when I came to Earth, along with the shin-grieves that I normally wear, possibly even my shield, which bears the emblem of Medusa..."

"Don't forget your helmet," Atalanta noted sweetly, "Honestly, Sis, you look positively naked without it, not that I mind the great peep-show you've been giving us for the past few days."

Maegara colored slightly at the warm and lusty compliment of her amorous half-  
sister, nodding almost casually, "Yes...my helmet too, the one that grants invisibility, much like the Helm that Hades uses..."

"What about footwear?" Herakles asked matter-of-factly.

"Eh?" Maegara seemed genuinely puzzled, "Footwear?"

"You know, a new set of sandals," Herakles explained, "You were limping pretty bad the first couple of days, so I thought maybe you'd like something that will make the rocks hurt those dainty little feet of yours less often."

Despite herself Maegara smiled, "I'm much better now that my feet have started to toughen. It's taken a while to arrange this body to have the strength and resilience to which I am accustomed. I'm afraid the Princess was not much of an athlete before I took over, but it's time I got this body into proper shape...and, well...I really would feel awkward about wearing sandals. I've never had to wear anything on my feet before...it just doesn't feel natural..."

"Know what you mean there," Atalanta agreed, glancing down at her own footwear, "These deerskin shoes my host insists on wearing feel awfully strange on her feet...I mean...my feet, and like you I've used to going barefoot. Not much need for footwear when you've spent nearly all your life as a goddess..."

"That's maybe so," Iolaus said, "But when you do as much running as I do, a good pair of sandals can be an absolute lifesaver. But...tell you what, Sis, if you want your old armor back, I can run back home and get them from your temple on Olympus..."

"Don't bother," Genma suddenly spoke up, surprising everyone because they had nearly forgotten his presence (from constant attempts to ignore him, of course), "Armor just makes you weak and reliant having artificial protection, Boy. That's why I've always said you were better off without that Lionskin..."

"Don't start on me already, Pops," Herakles grumbled, "I ain't in the mood..."

"What I meant is you should start teaching her how to look after herself, Boy," Genma replied, ignoring the warning glance Herakles shot his way, "After all, women may not be as good as Men at the art, but that's no reason why you have to coddle them, especially in the dangerous business of being a Hero."

"Coddle us?" Atalanta sniffed, "I like that!"

"Is that the sort of philosophy you have been instilling in my husband?" asked Hippolyta from where she walked behind with Antiope, "That you think women are naturally inferior to men?"

"Don't get me wrong," Genma replied, "I've known women who could turn you inside out without half trying, your Highness, so don't think that you're the worst I've ever met. A man would be a fool to underestimate any woman, even the non-  
fighters can surprise you. I'm just saying that a woman who prizes herself as a Goddess of Battles ought to be able to learn the Anything Goes Ryu. Master that and you won't need to wear any armor."

"Look Pops," Herakles growled, "'Thena's got enough on her mind without you going into one of your rants about the Glories of the Art..."

"I accept."

"Sell, like I was saying..." Herakles did an abrupt double-take and stared in amazement at the stunning redhead, "You what?"

"I would like to learn from you this special fighting technique of yours, Herakles," Maegara said brightly, "I've been impressed with what I have seen of it, and I see no reason why I couldn't master the basics in no time at all. Is it very different from Pankratia?"

"As night is to day," Genma replied, giving Herakles a curiously sage nod before moving off in search of a place to forage, "Good luck, Boy, you're gonna need it with this one..."

Herakles blinked as he wondered for a moment whether or not he was imagining things, or did his "Uncle Genma" just pass him off as a trainer of the Anything Goes Ryu? But then he saw the entreating smile on the woman walking so close beside him that she was even linking his arm with hers and realized that he had just tacitly accepted the job. He had pretty much discovered that she could talk him into anything without any real effort, and saying "No" to her just didn't feel right with him. He wanted only to please her, and as long as he did what she asked of him she could be VERY pleasing indeed!

"I think it is a wonderful idea for you to teach Aunt Athena all that you know about barehanded fighting, my Husband," Hippolyta mused, "And perhaps you might even show me a move or two, not that I am as in as much need of your coaching..."

"Gee Sis," Antiope spoke up, "If that's the case, then how did you wind up losing to him in the first place?"

"I was...distracted," Hippolyta said somewhat evasively, "And I greatly underestimated him as a fighter..."

"Gee, no kidding, I'd never have guessed," Atalanta rolled her eyes as she contemplated (for perhaps the nine-thousandth time in a tenth as many years) how she could have ever been the mother to someone as macho and chauvinistic as Hippolyta. More and more her daughter was reminding her just a little too much of Ares for her liking...

Chalciope-who had been farther along the trail leading point-raised her hand to the others and called back, "I think I've found another good campsite. We're only a little less than a day from reaching Mycenea."

"Thank the Powers," Maegara sighed, dropping her pretence of being chipper, "I need another bath sooooo bad right now..."

"Not a bad idea," Atalanta smiled, "Mind if I join you?"

"Sister dear," Maegara gave a wary smile at the blonde haired blacksmith, "The last time I took a bath with you it was more than my back that got washed. You think I've forgotten that party you threw about three hundred years ago?"

"Hey, I can behave myself, honest!" Atalanta raised her hands in a deflecting manner.

"And maybe Dad is contemplating his retirement package," Iolaus grumbled under his breath.

"No offense, Mother," Hippolyta smiled, "But I will bathe with sister Maegara now, and she can wash my back. After all, it is the sort of courtesy that co-  
wives must learn to perform for one another..."

"What's with this co-wife stuff anyway?" Maegara frowned, "Herakles has not yet accepted you as his wife, and until you do a better job of convincing him of your suitability..."

"Unfortunately, though he may have a choice, I have none in the matter," Hippolyta replied, "The law obligates me to regard him as my husband, and until he actually does reject me, I am obliged to give him the courtesy that is due him. But what is the matter with me washing your back, Goddess? Are you saying you don't trust me?"

"No farther than I can throw the Parthenon," Maegara growled, but she sighed and said, "All right...I guess it's wiser to bathe with someone you know than a total stranger. Safety in numbers and all of that..."

"Good," Hippolyta turned to Herakles and said, "I will insure that she is returned safely to you, my Husband. Her welfare is as important to me now as to you."

"Uh...right," Herakles replied, watching cautiously as Maegara and Hippolyta headed off together in search of the nearest river.

Iolaus leaned closer to him and said, "You think that's wise? I mean...'Thena is Wisdom personified, but leaving her along with Hippy..."

"Do you want to follow them and go spy on those two bathing?" Herakles countered.

Iolaus shuddered, "No thanks...I value my family jewels right where they are, thank you!"

"I can go look after them if you like," Antiope volunteered.

"No, Niece," Atalanta urged, "You're on duty to help me by gathering up some nuts, roots and berries for supper while I go help Sister Deianeira with the chariot. That left wheel's a bit wobbly and needs some serious attention. You boys behave until I get back..."

Iolaus and Herakles watched as the blonde haired blacksmith wiggled her hips in a suggestive manner while heading towards the chariot that was moving along next to the giant boar, Eurypylus, on which Ithicles and Cleo were currently taking their turn riding.

"How does she manage to do it, Herk?" Iolaus shook his head in dismay.

"Do what?" Herakles asked in a somewhat distracted manner.

"Make even a Macho Buff body like that seem sweeter than Ambrosia," Iolaus sighed, "If it wasn't for the fact that she's set to marry you, I'd be tempted to try that host of her out on my own..."

"And risk a hammer bashing?" Herakles replied, "Besides, don't you already have someone you'd rather be faithful to?"

"Eh?" Iolaus blinked, "What do you mean?"

"Antiope here," Herakles grinned in a conspiratorial manner, "In case you haven't noticed, Bro, she's been looking you over pretty thoroughly for the last two days..."

"She has?" Iolaus blinked, "But...ahem...that's absurd...I'm old enough to be her Uncle..."

"Like that means anything?" the blonde haired Amazon chimed sweetly, startling Iolaus as she had suddenly appeared to be standing right next to him without any apparent warning, "In our family it's just par for the course, eh Uncle?"

"Gak!" Iolaus almost jumped before recovering from his surprise, "But...um...what about your laws...?"

"Oh, we can sleep with any man we like once we've come of age and have proven ourselves as worthy of being Amazons," Antiope explained, "And I've been one for well over a thousand years...but maybe you're right. After all, Herakles is the one who tied me up, so..."

"That was when you were possessed by Artemis," Herakles corrected, "But Iolaus is the one who actually knocked you out."

"He did?" Antiope blinked, "But that mean...HUSBAND!" she cried delightedly, throwing her arms around the startled Iolaus and glomping him with affection.

"GAK!" he cried more loudly and somehow managed to wrest free from her grasp, backing away with a nervous expression as he hastily said, "Um-look, I'm flattered and all that, but...well...maybe we shouldn't be taking things this fast and...and...you have tubers to harvest for supper...as a matter of fact, I think I'll go pick some berries myself..."

"The only tubers I'm interested in is the one between your legs...Husband," Antiope smiled in a predatory manner, spreading her hands wide as if preparing once again to glomp him.

"Awk!" Iolaus declared and promptly turned on his heels, all but vanishing as he kicked up a cloud of dust in his passing.

"My he's quick," Antiope shielded her eyes, "Good legs on that man...I definitely like it..."

"You really intend to hold him to this husband business?" Herakles asked the blonde.

"No, not really," Antiope replied, "I agree with you, it's a stupid way to get a husband, but it gives me a great excuse to chase after him. But...like you said, it wasn't really me he defeated, it was Artemis. I'd only take him for a husband if he actually wants me...and I know Uncle Hermes is a bit shy about commitment..."

"That's putting it mildly," Chalciope remarked as she came back to join them, "Good luck on catching him, but I don't hold good odds that he'll slow down just for your sake. Besides, it'd be a shame to lose you for a bedmate."

"Oh, I don't mind being part of a good tossed salad, Goddess," Antiope smiled, "But lately I've been craving a little beef to go with my seafood. I know it's not your thing, but if I met up with a really cute guy somewhere on the road..."

"Spare me the details," Chalciope huffed, giving the blonde Amazon an affectionate pat on her rump to send her on her way as Antiope all but skipped and hopped her way out of camp, heading off to intercept Iolaus before he got too much of a head start.

Once alone the black haired pig-farmer turned to Herakles and said, "Let's make camp together, but don't get any ideas, all right?"

"Why do you think I'd get any ideas?" Herakles wondered, "You've made it perfectly plain that you don't want anything to do with me, Sis, and I'm not about to force you."

"Well, just as long as we have that straightened out," Chalciope replied, still frowning at him with level hostility and suspicion.

Herakles would normally have shrugged the matter off, but this time he felt himself bridle as he said, "Just what's the deal here anyway? You don't think you can trust me? Just why the hell do you have it so bad against men anyway, Arti?"

"You wouldn't understand," she said without looking directly at him.

"Try me," Herakles challenged.

Chalciope maintained her ground, leaning on her enchanted spear, but at last she heaved a sigh and said, "Men worship me, you know...I really don't know why. I've made it plain enough in the past that I don't really care about the male gender, and I'm not about to grace them with my favors. Far as I can tell the most of them are just lecherous, drooling brutes who think every woman in creation should just be willing to fall into bed with them. Give me a good woman any day over the likes of them..."

"You really think all guys are just itching to screw you?" Herakles asked.

"Yes," she turned around and glared at him, "I know that they are...I've been mortal before, you know... a couple of times, when I pissed off Dad and he exiled me to Earth for a few years. One time I was captured by a group of hunters who thought I was the next best thing to deer, only what they had in mind for me was a little more personal than just mounting a trophy..."

Herakles found himself balling his fists as an ugly image formed in his mind, and despite himself he said, "That's...bad...really bad, Artemis...I never knew..."

"No one knows," her shoulders sagged a little, "The really awful thing was that I knew I couldn't die...I survived several days of the sort of treatment you couldn't even imagine...and believe me, I wouldn't even wish that on you, Brother. I escaped at last when they got too careless...and I made sure they understood exactly what I thought about their attitudes regarding a woman. When I got done with them...I didn't even feel human...and I don't mean that I shapeshifted either..."

Herakles felt himself shuddering with an even more ugly image before, but he managed to say, "You...did what you had to, Sis...nothing to be ashamed about in that..."

"No?" Chalciope asked, steadfastly refusing to break down and cry, which was what she felt herself doing, "I tell myself that sometimes...and sometimes...I even manage to believe it..."

"But...not all guys are like that..." Herakles started to say.

"I know," Chalciope said quietly, "Orion wasn't like that at all. He was kind, gentle, understanding...he was a good friend, a good companion, and I...I killed him. It was an accident, but...people think I did it deliberately, when it was that damned Apollo who tricked me into shooting him..."

"Hey," Herakles stretched out a hand to her, but she flinched away, so he relented, "Sorry...I never knew it was like that..."

"And the worst part of it is...my twin brother thought he was doing it to PROTECT ME!" Chalciope sobbed, then fought to regain control, "Apollo's always been looking out for me...ever since we were little, when we grew up together on that floating island called Orthagia...he was my best friend growing up, and I'd always looked up to him...but that one day, I HATED HIM! I hated him so much that I could have killed him if he was mortal!"

Herakles did not know what to say to this, so he stayed silent (which-  
ironically-proved to be the wisest thing he could do at the moment), but at last he said, "So what happened?"

"I convinced him to bring Orion back from the dead," Chalciope managed to sound steady as she continued, "But Uncle Hades objected, and Dad struck down Asclepius when he tried to perform the resurrection spell. Apollo went mad over the death of his son, I think he truly understood right then what I was feeling, and so he took it out on Dad's blacksmiths, the Cyclopes. That's when everything went into binding arbitration and had to be settled by Tyche and Athena. They ruled that Dad had gone too far, but so had Apollo, so Asclepius was let out from Elysium and made into a full God, Orion stayed in Elysium but was given a good reincarnation somewhere else...I think he came back as a God of an entirely different pantheon, or something like that. As for Apollo...he had to do ten years of service as a Mortal, tending the Oxen herds for a King named Admetus. That was when he ran into brother Hermes for the first time, when the little scamp tried to make off with half the Oxen..."

"Y'know...no offense, Sis," Herakles said, "But the impression I got of Brother Apollo is that he's a little too full of myself, if you know what I'm saying."

"I do," Chalciope said quietly, "But to me he's always been my big brother...my big TWIN brother, of course. I...I've never told anyone this...but when we were little...we used to fool around together...just as a kind of an experiment growing up. It was before I...changed...when Daddy made that wish, and I started liking women better...but I guess that's what you get for wishing you could have your virginity back. Funny, huh? The only guy who's ever actually gotten anywhere with me was my own brother, and both of us have since liked to pretend it never really happened..."

"So...why are you telling me this now?" Herakles wondered, not certain if he liked hearing more such details about his kinfolk.

"I don't really know," Chalciope replied, giving him a frank expression, "Maybe I'm just damned tired of carrying around so much baggage. Athena likes to say that hiding from the truth just makes it get worse with time, and..." she blinked her eyes and looked in amazement at him, as if only just then catching herself in the act of making such a confession.

"Hey," Herakles hastily raised both hands in a disarming manner, "I won't tell anyone, honest! It goes no farther than with me, Sis, and that's a promise."

"Like I'd trust any MAN to keep his word?" Chalciope rounded on him, "Don't forget, I've known more men than you could ever hope to imagine, Brother, and those I'm related to are the worst when it comes to keeping secrets..."

"But I'm not like that at-OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!" Herakles exclaimed as-all at once-a rain shower started falling on their heads without apparent warning, triggering his curse so that he reverted immediately to his other guise as Alcides.

Chalciope blinked her eyes before turning them skyward and concentrating, and all at once the rain ceased falling, leaving only the muted sounds in the background of Atalanta cursing how tough it would now be to start a fire.

"Great, like I needed this," Alcides glanced down at herself in disgust, "I'm sorry about that, Sis...it just seems to happen a lot, like my curse makes me attract the water or something. Look, like I was saying before, I'm not about to gossip about your private business, it's none of my concern, and I wouldn't do that to you if...huh? Uh...Sis...?"

Chalciope just kept staring at the blonde before her, eyes all but glazed for a moment until she managed to shake her head with some effort, clearing up her vision.

"Um," she hastily glanced away, "You...were saying something just now...Sister?"

"Hah?" Herakles blinked, "You all right, Sis? You look a little funny..."

"It's nothing," she said, still refusing to look back directly at him.

"I mean, no...seriously," Alcides insisted, "You look a little flushed in the cheeks. Better take care you don't come down with something. You're in a mortal body, after all, but if you don't take care of it..."

"I said I was all right!" Chalciope said more insistently.

"But I've got this recipe that my mother always insisted on using with me and Ithicles..." Alcides continued.

"I SAID I WAS ALL RIGHT!" Chalciope all at once turned around and swung her spear like a club, catching Alcides by surprise and knocking the blonde flying, "ARE YOU DEAF OR SOMETHING!"

"Oh my," Deianeira looked up to see the blonde sailing over a rise overlooking their encampment, "I do hope that didn't hurt her too much..."

"Naw, that looks like a pretty sturdy spear," Atalanta mused, "I'm sure it can take worse punishment than that."

"Wonder what he...uh...she said to upset the Psycho," Cleo wondered.

"Whatever it was," Ithicles observed, "I think my brother is going to be feeling that one in the morning..."

"Oh man..." Alcides groaned as she sat up at the base of a large tree, where she had landed, "What'd she go and do that for? I was only trying to help her..."

"Some women do not know when they are in need of help," a familiar voice remarked, "And when they are hurting the most, that is sometimes the worst time to try and help them."

Alcides glanced up without much surprise in her expression, "You following me around Goddess?"

"Not really," Hecate remarked, "But you are remarkably easy to keep track of, young man. One only has to follow the trail you leave in your passage. So...how are you making progress with your harem?"

"Very funny," Alcides growled as she sat up rubbing her back, "That Macho chick isn't part of anybody's Harem, and why the hell did you insist on having her come with me anyway? She's tried to kill me twice already, and most of the rest of the time she keeps looking like she wants to..."

"You do her disservice to judge her this harshly," Hecate chided, "Artemis is in need of a friend far more than another lover, but with you she could have both. Ever consider why she reacts differently to you when you are in your female form?"

"That's a no-brainer," Alcides groaned, "You honestly think I'm gonna let her do that to me when I'm like this?"

"You might at least consider it," Hecate replied, "But...in truth, the real reason why she is here is that she will be needed in your quest. Her skills as a tracker and archer will be useful...once she's managed to calm down a bit and has decided that she genuinely does like you."

"Yeah, that'll be the day," Alcides said gruffly, "And Tartarus is opening up a new tourist resort. Look...level with me for once, will you? What are you trying to do here? Get me attached to every unmarried goddess on Olympus?"

"As amusing as the concept might seem, that is not my real intention," Hecate answered.

"Yeah?" Alcides frowned, "Wouldn't happen to have anything to do with your mother, would it?"

He was rewarded by seeing the ebon-haired goddess arch an eyebrow, then the Mistress of Night replied, "You have figured that much out between you...I am impressed. But then again...the clues were everywhere about, and with Athena as your boon companion, it is not too surprising that you could have made such an accurate guess."

"So what's the story?" Alcides asked, "Why all the mystery? Why not just come right out and tell us?"

Hecate shook her head sadly, "If I did, then it would spoil the magic. I have reasons for what I do, brave Hero, and it is for the good of everyone that I do this. What I will confirm is that my mother is presently a prisoner of Lucifer...he has managed to capture several deities in the Palestine area and has stolen their energies in order to make himself grow stronger. It's a key part of his larger overall campaign to become the one true God in all existence...the Lord of all Hosts, the Master of Infinity..."

Alcides cocked two blonde eyebrows, "That's...a pretty tall order..."

"You have no idea," Hecate said sadly, "Lucifer has taken the name Baal Yaweh and has recruited a following of fanatical tribespeople known alternately as the Hibiru, or Habiru, depending on which version of Coptic you employ. They presently number no more than several hundred thousand in all, but they are a growing cult with designs over the whole of Palestine. If Lucifer succeeds in his goals then it is his intention to carry the war to the rest of the world, stealing the energies of yet more Gods to add to his own considerable power base. It will take decades for his plans to reach fruition, but in the end he will become the dominant power in the region. My mother will be but the first of many victims, and then it will be the Gods of Greece who will face this monster...and mark me well...by the time he gets here he will be all but unstoppable, and he will absorb us."

"Then what do you want me to do about it?" Alcides frowned.

"For now...just do as you would naturally," Hecate replied, "This is a problem for the future, but it is my aim to guide you into becoming a greater hero, one who will achieve full divinity before your quest is ended. You must become the hero whom mortal men will talk about for ages yet unborn, the man who was part God and who stood up as a champion for the weak and the oppressed, an inspiration to other men who will come after you, the proof that being a Hero can mean being something nobler than merely being a man...that a man who fights for justice can become a genuine legend."

"That's a mighty tall order, Lady," Alcides remarked, "You sure I can live up to this?"

"As certain as the love I know you bear for your sisters," Hecate replied soberly, "They are changing slowly because they know you...and as you come to know them, you will learn why they are what they are, why they became the way you see them today. Do you think that Artemis is bitter and hateful towards men, that Aphrodite is flighty and treats sex as something casual and easily discarded, or that Hippolyta thinks that men are inherently inferior to all women...?"

"Yeah," Alcides sniffed, then thought about it, "Um...maybe..."

"First impressions are not usually reliable," Hecate remarked, "In fact they are quite often dead wrong. The first time you meet a person you form an opinion about them, and that opinion usually becomes fixed and static, even after we learn new information that changes the overall picture. You have just had a glimpse into what makes Artemis so hostile towards the male gender...you already know that Athena is lonely and feels alienated to even her own kind. Would it interest you to know that there is more to Aphrodite than the bubbly blonde you think you see...?"

"No," Alcides replied, "I already know she's got something going on in that head of hers. I still don't like the fact that she keeps Atalanta in the dark about her presence..."

"That will change in time," Hecate assured him, "Just give her time...I think they both will one day surprise you."

"Hope you're right about that," Alcides sniffed, "So...what's the story with Hippolyta? How did you talk her into going along with me and Athena being steady?"

"She is...a patient woman," Hecate replied, "A careful planner, and she is assured that she will one day be more to you than just an annoying reminder of your tendency to jump into things without first thinking."

"Yeah?" Alcides frowned, "Like what? Just what did you have to promise her that got her to act like she's already my wife or something...?"

"That was simple," Hecate replied, "I told her the truth."

"Which is?" Alcides replied with an encouraging nod.

"That you will father a child on her," Hecate replied, "Her next child will be of your get...and she will be the greatest Amazon who ever lived."

For a moment Alcides just stared at the Goddess, then she burst out laughing, "She's what? No way! You've got to be kidding! Pull the other one..."

"I'm quite serious," Hecate said without varying her smile, "You and she will have a child together. I have foreseen this."

"No way!" Alcides said dismissively, "What are you gonna do, wave your wand and make us fall in love or something?"

Hecate shook her head sadly, "I will do nothing more than I have done to bring the both of you together. I will not enchant you into falling in love with her, or even to make you lust for her as a woman. She must do that on her own, and Hippolyta is manifestly confident in her charms as a woman. You will be the father to her next child...however...this does not necessarily mean that you will become her real husband."

Alcides frowned, "I don't follow you..."

"I am not surprised," Hecate replied, "You have the choice whether to accept her as a wife or not. I will not compel you any further than I already have. If you complete your twelve labors successfully, then you will be freed from your curse, and I will not even require that you marry her. Hippolyta must win you on her own or not at all...the choice will be up to you to decide...just as you have already chosen Athena to be your present companion."

"What do you mean present companion?" Alcides said sharply, "Is something gonna happen to her? Because if so, then I won't let it..."

"I have said enough already," Hecate replied, "The future is for you to shape, young Hero, but if I gave everything away before it happened, then my prophesy itself would be meaningless. Live your life as best you will and the reward will be your freedom to choose as you deem wisely."

"And this is gonna help you get back your mother?" Alcides wondered.

"I would be lying if I denied that this is a goal near and dear to my own heart," Hecate smiled, "My mother, Asteria, is a gentle, loving creature who has never harmed anyone, though some have acted in her name to poor effect. In the East she is known as Asteroth, the Star Woman, and there is a daughter to her...my younger half-sister, as it were, who is named Astarte, who seeks-as I do-to oppose the malice of Lucifer. She will be your ally one day, when the both of you meet. For now simply know that there is a noble cause for the quests that I have set for you. Perform them well and you will have more than earned your freedom."

"All right," Alcides frowned, "Suppose I buy this. So what does me having to take a job working for my cousin, Eurystheus have to do with all that?"

"You will see in good time," Hecate smiled, "Now...in the meantime...I believe you have a Hind to catch."

"A Hind?" Alcides blinked.

"The Hind of Ceryneia," Hecate replied, "As in...look behind you."

"Huh?" Alcides blinked, only to slowly turn around in time to see a golden arrow speeding towards her backside.

Like a shot her hand snatched the arrow out of mid-air, then she turned and saw another arrow being nocked and readied to fire, the slender arms pulling back the bow being golden hued and attached to a woman's body...that is...a woman from the waist up, though down below she had the legs of a golden deer. The second arrow was speeding her way even before Alcides had finished making this observation.

"OOOSSSHIT!" Alcides hastily snatched the second arrow out of the air, then saw the centaur-like Hind-woman spin about and start to gallop away over the rocks, springing from one outcrop to another like a mountain goat, even as she drew her bow for a third time and managed to shoot off a third arrow while retreating.

"HEY, COME BACK HERE!" Alcides called out as she snatched this third arrow and hastily shoved them into her own belt-quiver, then she sprang from where she stood and gave chase to the retreating creature, crying out, "I'M NOT GONNA HURT YOU-HONEST!"

"Well," Hecate mused as she watched they disappear into the rocky foothills, "That went rather well. Now...onto my next destination. I think Theseus should have just about reached Attica by now..."

With a smile that would have done credit to a Cheshire, the Mistress of Mysteries folded the gathering night about herself and vanished into the twilight of near-sunset, confident that the seeds which she had planted in the mind of her reluctant Ward would soon bear fruit in the coming future. Too much was riding on the young (ahem) man for her to leave it all in the hands of the Fates, after all, and by giving him something to think about she knew he would eventually make his own decisions...which just-by some strange coincidence-  
fit in perfectly with her own most worthy of intentions...

Continued.

Comments/Criticisms/Fleshpots of Egypt: shadowmane

Next time up, Herakles gets his Hind handed to him, and Maegara learns yet another curious Amazon custom, while yet another heroic figure makes his appearance on the scene. Be with us next time for: "Senseless Sensibilities," or "How to Handle a Villain..." Be there!

(Editor's Note: if anyone has qualms about the way I am depicting the ancient Habiru, keep in mind that legends are not always what they seem, and the actual archeology of the Palestine region has debunked a lot of previously cherished myths pertaining to the Monotheistic religions centered in the so-called "Holy Lands." If anyone would care to challenge my version of events, let them do their own research into what the revised history books have been telling us regarding the birth of the "One God" religions. There is not and never has been a justification for Anti-Semitism...NO PERSON OF JEWISH ORIGINS SHOULD NOW OR EVER BE DISCRIMINATED AGAINST ON THE BASIS OF THEIR RELIGION. This does not, however, mean that we should blind ourselves to the injustices of the past, and if you have ever actually read the Bible you would know that old-testament stories are not everything that believers think they are cracked up to be...)

(...Any more than the Greek myths, when you come down to it, heh!)

Jim Robert Bader April 30, 2001

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If you wish to check out my other works, Please check out my Fanfiction webpage at: . All related chapters of this series can be found there along with my other works. 


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